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 Hugh Jackman Quotation(On turning down the chance to play Richard Gere's character in the Harvey Weinstein-produced film Chicago) "I thought I was too young for the role. You have some 34-year-old guy up against Catherine Zeta-Jones and Renee Zellweger and it becomes a different movie. At one point, Harvey was telling me they were thinking of Kevin Spacey, and I told him, 'That's exactly right. You should hire him.' Then I was in New York when the movie opened and the queue was around the block. I sat down and thought that I had probably made the biggest mistake. But I still honestly think that it was the right thing to do. I still think I was too young for that part." "Finally something my family can be proud of" "Now I meet people with full-color Wolverine tattoos on their backs. Thank God I did okay, because I think if I handn't, they'd spit on me in the street." - on his role of Wolverine Movie Title: Oklahoma! (1999) as Curly: Curly : And uh while I'm at it... uh... how bout marryin' me? Laurey : Gracious! What I'd want to marry you for? Curly : I dunno, couldn't you think of maybe one or two reasons why you might? Movie Title: Kate & Leopold (2001) as Leopold: Leopold : Are you suggesting madam that there exists a law compelling a gentleman to lay hold of canine bowel movements? Police Officer : I'm suggesting that you pick the poop up. Charlie : Don't you think it's time you told me who you are. I mean, don't get me wrong, doing the Duke thing with you 24/7 is a blast, but really. Who are you? Leopold : I'm the man... that loves your sister. Leopold : I tell you, that thing is a damn hazard! Kate : It's just a toaster! Leopold : Why is it called a toaster when it produces no toast, but simply warm bread, and inserting it two times produces charcoal? The ideal toaster would have one and a half insertions to produce the correct toast. Kate : You know something? Nobody gives a rat's ass that you have to push the toast down twice, and you know why? Because everybody pushes their toast down twice! Leopold : Not where I come from! Kate : Oh, right. Where you come from, toast is a result of reflection and study! Kate : I'm not very good with men. Leopold : Perhaps you haven't found the right one. Kate : Maybe. Or, uh... maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney. Kate : Why are you standing? Leopold : I am accustomed to stand when a lady leaves the table. [So, Charlie gets up] [Talking to himself] Leopold : Ah Miss Blaine, you dance like a herd of cattle. You are a rare woman who lights up a room simply by leaving it! Stuart : You of all people should understand, you're a scientist. I mean, you invented the elevator. Leopold : What is an elevator? What are you talking... Where the hell am I? Stuart : I told you, you haven't actually gone anywhere, you're still in New York. Leopold : That sir, is not New York! Kate : I'm afraid it is! [To Charlie] Leopold : Is it your habit sir, to simply enter a conversation without introduction? [Has chased and cornered a bag snatcher, while on horseback] Leopold : I warn you scoundrel, I was trained at the King's Academy and schooled in weaponry by the palace guard. You stand no chance. When you run, I shall ride, when you stop, the steel of this strap shall be lodged in your brain. [bag snatcher throws down the bag an flees, onlookers applaud] Kate : Are you for real? Leopold : I believe so. Leopold : Some feel that to court a woman in one's employ is nothing more than a serpentine effort to transform a lady into a whore. Leopold : I feel as though we've met on a previous occasion. Kate : Well Lionel, seeing as how I've never met any of Stuart's friends, not even sure he has any, I don't think that's possible. Kate : It's nothing he just forgot the pointy thing. Leopold : I've been warned about you. Kate : And what did the amazing disappointment bring? Kate : You're tucking me in. Leopold : Yes. Kate : You're my Otis. Leopold : Yes, Your Grace. Kate : People might think I'm brave, but I'm not. Leopold : The brave are simply those with the clearest vision of what is before them - glory and danger alike and notwithstanding, go out to meet it. Uncle Millard : It has always been your greatest misfortune, nephew, that you so amuse yourself with the sound of your own voice. Leopold : The mere fact that I can amuse myself at all is an evolutionary miracle. Leopold : Do you require a chaperone? His intentions are obvious. Kate : We're together, and we don't have a chaperone. Leopold : Yes, but we are not courting. If I did have affections for you, as a man of honor, I would tell you of them in writing. Movie Title: Someone Like You... (2001) as Eddie: Jane : What happened to your neck? Eddie : I bit myself shaving. Eddie : Never underestimate casual sex Jane, it can be very liberating. Jane : What are you thinking? Eddie : You and Ray will live happily ever after with matching volvos and chocolate labs. Jane : Did you have *any* friends growing up? Eddie : These are *people* not cows! Jane : Man, She really did a number on you didn't she? Well, don't shit on my broken heart just because you converted to some warped brand of romantic atheism! Eddie : It's called self-preservation. Jane : Oh, in other words, your narcotize yourself with casual sex. Jane : Do you promise not to laugh? Eddie : No. Eddie : It's over. Why can't you just let it go? Jane : I can't. Eddie : Why? Jane : Because I was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, men don't leave all women, Eddie, they leave me. Eddie : I know it hurts. I know. It's so hard to believe that something that wonderful can ever happen to us again. [When Eddie shows Jane his apartment] Jane : Do we have to share a bathroom? Eddie : Oh, no I never ever use the bathroom! Movie Title: Swordfish (2001) as Stanley: Stanley : It's not gonna end like this. Gabriel : Oh, come on, Stan. Not everything ends the way you think it should. Besides, audiences love happy endings. Gabriel : Have you ever heard of Harry Houdini? Well he wasn't like today's magicians who are only interested in television ratings. He was an artist. He could make an elephant disappear in the middle of a theater filled with people, and do you know how he did that? Misdirection. Stanley : What the fuck are you talking about? Gabriel : Misdirection. What the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes. Stanley : And you are? Ginger : I'm Ginger. Stanley : Where's Gilligan? Ginger : You're not too good at this golf thing, are you, Stan? Stanley : You're fucking up my chi. Stanley : War? Who are we at war with? Gabriel : Anyone who impinges on America's freedom. Terrorist states, Stanley. Someone must bring their war to them. They bomb a church, we bomb 10. They hijack a plane, we take out an airport. They execute American tourist, we tactically nuke an entire city. Our job is to make terrorism so horrific that is becomes unthinkable to attack Americans. Stanley : Nothing is impossible. Stanley : What are you still doing here? Look, I'm beginning to lose my sense of humor about all this. Ginger : Ok, then I'll cut to the chase. If you want a chance in hell at getting your daughter back you better listen up. Unless of course, you want to stay here, in this loser existence, while your daughter grows up to be a fluffer in her new daddy's videos. Stanley : With the courtesy of not confusing your own childhood with my daughter's. Gabriel : Big Stan! Nice suit. Stanley : Thanks. Gabriel : They say it's the suit that makes the man. Stanley : Buy it? Gabriel : Hope not! Ginger : You know, you should really have let me buy you a suit, Stanley. Stanley : I'm happy with what I'm wearing, thank you. Ginger : Ignorance is bliss. Gabriel : Hurry up Stan, she's dying. Stanley : Shut the FUCK up! Movie Title: 58th Annual Tony Awards (2004) as Peter Allen / Hugh Jackman: Hugh Jackman : [after the opening number] What about those Rockettes? I knew these long legs would come in handy one day. Hugh Jackman : "One Night Only," the words I'll be hearing from my agents when I tell them I'm coming back to Broadway. Announcer: Visitors to Oz, please direct your attention to the blonde girl in the bubble. Glinda : Hello. It's good to see me isn't it! No need to respond. That was rhetorical. Fellow Tonyians... [sings] Glinda : Let us be glad / Let us be grateful / Let us rejoicify that here to see us through / Is a Boy from Oz whose name is... Hugh! [Hugh Jackman appears] Glinda : Hugh, oh, Hugh... Hugh Jackman : Yes. Glinda : Call me... You got my number. Hugh Jackman : Alright. It's Glinda from Wicked, Kristin Chenoweth everybody. [applause] Hugh Jackman : Kristin Chenoweth. ["shooing" her] Hugh Jackman : Go on, off you go. I hate to blow her off like that. Hugh Jackman : [on performer Tony Bennett] He just told me backstage actually that when he got back from World War II, he went to the American Theatre Wing School on the GI bill, and that's where he learned everything he knows about singing, performing and picking up chicks. Hugh Jackman : Our next presenter is... Rod : Omigod! It's the Boy from Oz! Hugh Jackman : It's Rod from Avenue Q, everybody! [applause] Rod : Hugh... oh, Huey, Huey, Huey, Huey, Huey, I am one of your biggest fans. I saw you in "Oklahoma" in London and "Sunset Boulevard" in Sydney and I'm wishing you the best of luck on winning "Best Leading Actor in a Musical." Hugh Jackman : I'm wishing you luck too. Rod : Really? Thank you. You know, Hugh, you are a very successful gentleman and I'm an investment banker, so if you ever need anyone to take care of your assets... Hugh Jackman : You mean like my wife? Rod : Right - Oh. What a lucky lady. Hugh Jackman : Now, look, mate, I'd like to... Rod : Wait, say that again! Hugh Jackman : Mate? Rod : Again! Hugh Jackman : G'day, mate! Rod : Touch me! Hugh Jackman : [carresses Rod] Take it easy, mate. Rod : Look into my eyes. [Rod kisses Hugh] Rod : I did it! Wheeeeeeeeeee! Hugh Jackman : Deb, if I go to the Avenue Q party, you'll know why. Hugh Jackman : [after Carol Channing and LL Cool J's "Hello Dolly" rap] This just in: Carol Channing has been arrested in a drive-by shooting. Hugh Jackman : Welcome back, and a special welcome back to those of you who were watching 'The Sopranos.' Here is what you missed at our little barbeque: I danced with the Rockettes, a witch came on in a bubble [Kristin Chenoweth as Glinda] Hugh Jackman : , a lot of Jews danced their way out of Russia [Fiddler on the Roof] Hugh Jackman : , Tony Bennett sang, [imitating Fierstein] Hugh Jackman : , Harvey Fierstein presented an award, [normal voice] Hugh Jackman : there was swing dancing [Wonderful Town] Hugh Jackman : , a whole bunch of people did a musical number about assassinating presidents [Assassins] Hugh Jackman : and there were puppets in group therapy [Avenue Q] Hugh Jackman : . It's not TV, it's the Tony Awards. Peter Allen : [to Sarah Jessica Parker before pulling her onstage in the middle of his The Boy from Oz Tony number, "The Boy Next Door"] I feel like a little Sex in the City... Hello, Sarah Jessica! Peter Allen : [to a seemingly nervous Sarah Jessica Parker, before doing the lambada] It's only about 6,000 people... and about 6,000 on telly. Hugh Jackman : [during his acceptance speech for Best Actor in a Musical] I've been up here all night, and I am now absolutely trembling. Hugh Jackman : Peter Allen, you wrote this song called "Making Every Moment Count," you did it. You did it onstage and offstage. Peter - it's an honor to play you and I dedicate this Tony to your memory. Movie Title: Van Helsing: The London Assignment (2004) as Gabriel Van Helsing: Carl : [has just been dressed as a women to be used as bait] When the cardinal got your cable I told him I am not a filed man! Gabriel Van Helsing : There's not much danger of you being mistaken as any man, Carl! Gabriel Van Helsing : [adjusting the last touches on Carl as he is dressed as a woman to be bait for Mr.Hyde] Could you stop squirming? Carl : If you had bougth me the proper sized corset I wouldn't have to squirm! Gabriel Van Helsing : There. A vision of loveliness. Carl : I told the cardinal when he got your cable, I am not a field man! Gabriel Van Helsing : There isn't much danger of you being mistaken as any kind of man, Carl! Movie Title: X-Men (2000) as Wolverine / Logan: [Cyclops doesn't know if Logan's an imposter] Wolverine : It's me! Cyclops : Prove it! Wolverine : You're a dick. Cyclops : Okay. Wolverine : Magneto's right: there is a war coming. Are you sure you're on the right side? Storm : At least I've chosen a side. [About his claws] Rogue : When they come out... does it hurt? Wolverine : Every time. Prof. Charles Francis Xavier : Ah, Logan. I'd like you to meet Ororo Monroe, also called Storm. This is Scott Summers, also called Cyclops. They saved your life. I believe you already know Dr. Jean Grey. You are in my School for the Gifted for Mutants. You'll be safe here from Magneto. Wolverine : What's a Magneto? Prof. Charles Francis Xavier : A very powerful mutant. He believes that a war is brewing between mutants and the rest of humanity. I've been following his activities for some time. The man who attacked you is an associate of his called Sabertooth. Wolverine : Sabertooth? [looks at Storm] Wolverine : Storm. [looks at Xavier] Wolverine : What do they call you? "Wheels"? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Students. [Logan has found his way to the Professor's office] Prof. Charles Francis Xavier : I'm Charles Xavier. Would you like some breakfast? Logan : Where am I? Prof. Charles Francis Xavier : Westchester, New York. My people brought you here for medical attention. Logan : I don't need medical attention. Prof. Charles Francis Xavier : Yes, of course. Wolverine : Jean... Dr. Jean Grey : Scott, when I tell you, open your eyes. Cyclops : No! Dr. Jean Grey : Trust me. [Wolverine takes out Cyclops' visor] Wolverine : You drop something? [to Sabretooth] Wolverine : Hey, bub, I'm not finished with you yet. Wolverine : This is mine! [Logan confronts Magneto for the first time] Magneto : You must be Wolverine. That remarkable metal doesn't run through your entire body, does it? Logan : What do you want with me? Magneto : My dear boy, whoever said I wanted you? [Logan looks at Marie] Rogue : I saved your life! Logan : No, you didn't. [after getting in the car with Logan/Wolverine] Rogue : You don't have anything to eat, do you? [Logan reaches across her into the glove compartment and hands her something to eat] Rogue : I'm Rogue. [looks across the seat to look at him and spots his dog tag] Rogue : Were you in the army? Doesn't, doesn't that mean you were in the army? [she stops talking and looks around. She spots the trailer in the back] Rogue : Wow. Logan : What? Rogue : It's just that, suddenly my life doesn't look that bad. Logan : Well, if you prefer the road... Rogue : [quickly] No, it looks great. It looks cozy. [They go quiet. Rogue begins to rub her cold hand together. Logan turns on the heater] Logan : Put your hands on the heater. [He reaches for her hand and she pulls back] Logan : I'm not gonna hurt you kid. Rogue : [shakes her head and puts back on her gloves] It's nothing personal. It's just that, when people touch my skin, something happens. Logan : What? Rogue : I don't know, they just get hurt. Logan : Fair enough. So, what kind of name is Rogue? Rogue : I don't know. What kind of name is Wolverine? Logan : My name is Logan. Rogue : Marie. Dr. Jean Grey : I think you'll be comfortable here. Wolverine : Where's your room? Dr. Jean Grey : With Scott, down the hall. Wolverine : Is that your gift? Putting up with that guy? Dr. Jean Grey : Actually, I'm telekinetic. I can move things with my mind. Wolverine : Really? What kind of things? Dr. Jean Grey : [shuts closet doors behind him with her mind] All kinds of things. I also have some telepathic ability. Wolverine : Like the Professor? Dr. Jean Grey : Nowhere near that powerful. But he's teaching me to develop it. Wolverine : I'm sure he is. So read my mind. Dr. Jean Grey : I'd rather not. Wolverine : C'mon. You afraid you might like it? Dr. Jean Grey : I doubt it. Rogue : The first boy I ever kissed ended up in a coma for three weeks. I can still feel him inside my head. It's the same with you. Wolverine : There's not many people that'll understand what you're going through. But I think this guy, Xavier, is one of them. He seems to genuinely want to help you. And that's a rare thing, for people like us. [commenting on the X-Men uniforms] Wolverine : You actually go outside in these things? Cyclops : Well, what would you prefer? Yellow spandex? Logan : What the hell are you doing? Rogue : I'm sorry. I need a ride, I thought you could help me. Logan : Get out. Rogue : Where am I supposed to go? Logan : I don't know. Rogue : You don't know, or you don't care. Logan : Pick one. Storm : Help us! Fight with us! Logan : Fight with you! Join the team? Be an X-Man? Who the hell do you think you are? You're a mutant. The whole world out there is full of people who hate and fear you and you're wasting your time trying to protect them? I've got better things to do! Wolverine : So, couldn't wait to get my shirt off again, huh? Wolverine : Well, it certainly is a big, round room. Wolverine : You going to tell me to stay away from your girl? Cyclops : If I had to do that, she wouldn't be my girl. Wolverine : Well, then I guess you've got nothing to worry about, do ya, Cyclops? Cyclops : It must burn you up that a boy like me saved your life, huh? Gotta be careful. I might not be there next time. Oh, and Logan - stay away from my girl. Wolverine : Felt like she killed me. Prof. Charles Francis Xavier : If she held on any longer, she could have. Prof. Charles Francis Xavier : Where are you going? Wolverine : To find her. Storm : How? Wolverine : The traditional way: look! Logan : There's someone here. Cyclops : Where? Logan : I don't know. Keep your eye open. Cyclops : All right, we can insert here at the George Washington Bridge, come around the bank just off of Manhattan, land on the far side of Liberty Island, here. Wolverine : What about harbor patrol? Radar? Cyclops : If they have anything that can pick up our jet, they deserve to catch us. Rogue : Wow! Wolverine : What? Rogue : Suddenly my life doesn't look that bad. Logan : Everybody get out of here! Storm : Why? Logan : I can't move. Logan : Have you ever... Dr. Jean Grey : Used Cerebro? No. It takes a degree of control and for someone like me it's... Cyclops : Dangerous. Stu : You owe me some money. Stu's friend : Come on Stu. Stu : No one takes beating like that without a mark to show for it. Stu's friend : Come on Stu. Wolverine : You lost your money. You keep this up you'll lose something else. Stu : I know what you are. Wolverine : Gotta get her out of there. Cyclops, can you hit it? Cyclops : The ring's moving too fast. Wolverine : Just shoot it! Cyclops : I'll kill her! Storm : You could fly right over the torch. Wolverine : Then let me go. If I don't make it, then at least you can still blast the damn thing! Cyclops : All right, do it. Jean use your power, try to steady him. Storm : Hang on to something. Magneto : Why do none of you understand what I'm trying to do? Those people down there- they control our fate and the fate of every other mutant! Well, soon our fate will be theirs. [Rogue screams for help] Wolverine : Your so full of shit! If your really so righteous, it'd be you in that thing. Wolverine : That tickles. Dr. Jean Grey : Hey. Wolverine : Hey. Dr. Jean Grey : How are you feeling. Wolverine : Fantastic. [Cyclops lands the plane abruptly] Cyclops : Sorry. Wolverine : You call that a landing? Cyclops : Wait a second! You said this machine draws its power from Magneto, and that it weakened him. Prof. Charles Francis Xavier : Yes, in fact it nearly killed him. Wolverine : He's going to transfer his power to Rogue and use her to power the machine. Rogue : Hey. [Logan turns and looks at her] Rogue : You running again? Logan : No, not really. I've got some things to take care of up North. Rogue : Oh. [They stand in silence for a few moments, then Logan reaches out and plays with her hair. She jumps back a little and then smiles] Rogue : I kinda like it. Logan : Yeah. Rogue : I don't want you to go. [Logan looks around at his small pack of stuff and then undoes his dog tags. Then he takes her hand, places them inside, then pushes her fingers over them. She looks up at him] Logan : I'll be back for this. [He turns and walks out the door with her staring after him, smiling] Movie Title: X2 (2003) as Wolverine: [about Mystique] Wolverine : She's good. Magneto : You have no idea. Wolverine : Got any beer? Bobby : This is a school. Wolverine : So that's a no? Bobby : Yeah, that's a no. Wolverine : Well do you have anything other than chocolate milk? Rogue : Logan, come on. Let's go. Wolverine : Go, I'll be fine! Rogue : But we won't. Pyro : I'm driving. Wolverine : Maybe next time. Wolverine : Who's this guy? Rogue : This is Bobby, he's my... Bobby : I'm her boyfriend [shakes Logan's hand and freezes it] Bobby : call me Iceman. Wolverine : Boyfriend? How do you two? Bobby : Oh, we're still working on that. [during the attack on the mansion] Colossus : I can help you. Wolverine : Help them. [Motioning to the children] Pyro : Don't do that again. Wolverine : I agree. Wolverine : I need you to read my mind again. Professor X : Sometimes the mind needs to discover things for itself. Policeman: Put the knives down and get on the ground. Wolverine : I can't. Wolverine : If you want to shoot me, then shoot me! Wolverine : She did make a choice Scott, it was you. Wolverine : Who are you? William Stryker : Don't you remember? Madeline Drake : What exactly do you teach, Professor Logan? Wolverine : Art. [Deathstrike extends her claws] Wolverine : Holy shit. Dr. Jean Grey : Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, they don't bring him home... they marry the good guy. Wolverine : I can be the good guy. Dr. Jean Grey : Logan, the good guy sticks around. Mystique : No one has left a scar quite like you. Wolverine : What do you want? An apology? Mystique : You know what I want. But what do you want? [transforms into Storm, Rogue, and Jean] Mystique : [Wolverine pushes her off him] Mystique : [transforms into Stryker] What do you really want? Wolverine : I want you to leave. [Mystique exits tent] Wolverine : [under breath] Jesus. Bobby : Have you ever wanted to be with someone so badly, but you can't? [Pause] Bobby : I've seen how you look at Professor Grey. Wolverine : Excuse me? Bobby : Nothing. Nightcrawler : My name is Kurt Wagner. But in the Munich circus, I was known as The Incredible Nightcrawler! Wolverine : Ah, save it. Bobby : This is Cyclops' car. Wolverine : Oh yea. [Uses his middle claw to hot wire the car] Professor X : Logan, the mind isn't just a box that can be unlocked and opened, it's a beehive with many... Wolverine : Spare me the lecture. Professor X : If you continue to smoke in here, you'll spend the rest of your life believing you are a six year old girl. Wolverine : You can do that? Professor X : I'd have Jean braid your hair. Wolverine : How long have you been here? Bobby : Couple of years, its not so bad. Wolverine : What about your parents, they just ship you off to mutant school? Bobby : Actually my parents think this is a prep school. Wolverine : Lots of prep school have their own campus, dorms, kitchens... Bobby : Jets. Madeline Drake : We still love you Bobby, it's just this mutant problem is a little... Wolverine : [Interrupting] What Mutant problem? Madeline Drake : ...complicated. [Wolverine approaches Stryker carrying one of the kids] William Stryker : Who has the answers, Wolverine? William Stryker : Those people? William Stryker : That creature in your arms? William Stryker : Huh? Huh? Wolverine : [Removes the necklace with his nametag] Wolverine : [looking at the boy] I'll take my chances with him. [Wolverine walks off with the boy] Wolverine : You picked the wrong house bub. Wolverine : [tosses Cyclops the keys to his motorbike] Your bike needs gas. Cyclops : [tosses back the keys] Then fill it up. [To Stryker] Wolverine : If we die, you die. Pyro : I can't stand awkward silences Pyro : [turns on the car radio, N Sync's "Bye Bye Bye" comes on] Wolverine , Bobby , Rogue : [groan] Awww no! Movie Title: Van Helsing (2004) as Van Helsing: Top Hat : I see the Wolfman hasn't killed you yet. Van Helsing : Don't worry. He's getting to it. Carl : Why does it smell like wet dog in here? Van Helsing : Werewolf. Carl : Oh, yes. You'll be needing silver bullets. [throws canister of bullets to Van Helsing rather deftly] Van Helsing : Whatever you do, don't stare at him. Carl : [nudge inside the coach with Frankenstein] I'm staring at him. [Quickly turns away] Carl : Is that a man? Van Helsing : Actually, it's seven men, parts of them anyway. Anna Valerious : Some say you're a murderer. Others say you're a holy man. Which is it? Van Helsing : It's a bit of both, I think. Van Helsing : And you're coming with me. Carl : Hell, no. Damn, I'm not. Van Helsing : Carl, you're cursing. Badly, but still cursing. Monks can't do that. Carl : Actually, I'm a friar. I can do whatever I want. Dammit. Carl : Is this how it normally goes? Van Helsing : Pretty much. Van Helsing : You're a genius! Carl : A genius with access to unstable chemicals! Igor : Please, don't kill me! Van Helsing : Why not? Igor : Well, uh... Van Helsing : [upon seeing a Gatling gun] Why can't I have one of those? Van Helsing : Bless me father for I have... Cardinal Jinette : Sinned! I know! I know, you're very good at that. You crashed through a window at Notre Dame! Van Helsing : Not to split hairs, but it was Mr. Hyde who actually did the crashing. Cardinal Jinette : Thirteenth century. Over six hundred years old! I wish you a week in hell for that. Van Helsing : It would be a nice reprieve. Cardinal Jinette : Don't get me wrong. Your results are unquestionable, but you draw far too much attention to yourself. You were to keep a low profile and what happens? Wanted posters! Your face and name spread all over the city. Van Helsing : Do you think I like being the most wanted man in Europe? Why don't you and the order do something about it? Cardinal Jinette : Because we do not exist. Van Helsing : Then neither do I. Cardinal Jinette : When we found you crawling up the steps of this very church, Half dead, it was clear to us that you had been sent to do God's work. Van Helsing : Why can't God do it himself? Van Helsing : Now that I have you attention. Van Helsing : My life... my job... my curse... is to vanquish evil. Van Helsing : This thing... man... whatever it is... evil may have created it, left its mark on it... but evil does not rule it. So I cannot kill it. Carl : Are you always this popular? Van Helsing : Pretty much. Van Helsing : There's something down here, it's carnivorous. Whatever it is it appears to be... human. I'd say it's a size 17, about 360 pounds, 8 and a half to 9 feet tall and he has a bad gimp in his right leg and, ah, 3 copper teeth. Anna Valerious : How do you know he has copper teeth? Van Helsing : 'Cause he's standing right behind you. Van Helsing : Vampires, gargoyles, warlocks, they're all the same - best when cooked well. Carl : She's dead... Van Helsing : Aroooooooooooo! Van Helsing : To have memories of those you have loved and lost is perhaps harder than to have no memories at all. Van Helsing : He's not your brother anymore, Anna! Anna Valerious : You knew? Van Helsing : Yes. Anna Valerious : Before or after I stopped you from shooting him? Van Helsing : Before. Anna Valerious : And you still tried to kill him? Van Helsing : He's a werewolf. He's going to kill people. Anna Valerious : It's not his fault! He can't help it! Van Helsing : I know, but he's going to do it anyway! Anna Valerious : [after Van Helsing has killed the Werewolf] You killed him! Van Helsing : Now you see why people call me a murderer. Carl : ...so you can remember everything about your life from the last seven years, but nothing before that? Van Helsing : Not now, Carl Carl : There must be something? Van Helsing : [dead serious] I remember fighting the Romans at Masada. Carl : That was in 73 A.D.? Van Helsing : You asked. Van Helsing : You will take Anna and Carl to the tower and find the cure. Igor : No... I... will... not... [Van Helsing grabs Igor and throws him violently onto rock] Igor : Yes... I... will... Van Helsing : This may hurt a little. Frankenstein's Monster : I am accustomed to pain. Van Helsing : Lets us know we're alive. Van Helsing : I missed you in London. Mr. Hyde : No, you bloody did not. You got me good. [shows Van Helsing a bullet wound] [Upon seeing a baby vampire for the first time] Van Helsing : So this is what you get when vampires mate. Van Helsing : ...how do you know me? Count Vladislaus Dracula : So, would you like me to refresh your memory? A few details from you sordid past? [Van Helsing thrusts a crucifix at Dracula. Dracula shrieks and angrily swats it away, then calms down, smiling beatifically, as if nothing had happen] Count Vladislaus Dracula : I guess that's a conversation for another time. But before you go, let me reintroduce myself. [bows majestically] Count Vladislaus Dracula : Count Vladislaus Dragulia. Born 1432. Murdered 1462. Carl : What are we doing here? Why is it so important to kill this Dracula anyway? Van Helsing : Because he's the son of the devil. Carl : I mean besides that. Van Helsing : Because if we kill him, anything bitten by him or created will also die. Carl : I mean beside that. Van Helsing : Next time, stay close, you're no good to me dead. [Anna Valerious falls back into the a wall, out cold] Van Helsing : [catches her in his arms before she falls to the floor] I'm sorry about that too. Van Helsing : A man, with three gorgeous women, for four hundreds years? Count Vladislaus Dracula : You're too late, my friend! My children live! Van Helsing : Then the only way to kill them is to kill you. Count Vladislaus Dracula : That is correct Van Helsing : So be it. |
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