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 Mel Gibson Quotation"That's the way you should do it. Take a garbage role for the money, like Lethal Weapon 4, and then do what you want to do. He's a cool fella." - Peter Stormare "I like directing much better. It's more fun, that's all there is to it. It's essentially the same job, which is storytelling, but you have more control over the way you want to tell the story. It's a high. I love it." 'My fears: everything from being afraid that I'm going to run out of cream for my cornflakes right up to someone chopping my privates off.' "If you're going to wear three hats, you'd better grow two more heads". [Regarding his involvement in Movie Title: Braveheart as actor, director and producer.] "There is no salvation for those outside the Church...I believe it. Put it this way. My wife is a saint. She's a much better person than I am. Honestly. She's like, Episcopalian, Church of England. She prays, she believes in God, she knows Jesus, she believes in that stuff. And it's just not fair if she doesn't make it, she's better than I am. But that is a pronouncement from the chair. I go with it." [About his religious beliefs] "I'm not a done deal. I'm a work in progress. I'm still extremely flawed." "You can't live up to what people expect. Nobody can. But I guess that's my problem, not theirs." Movie Title: The 72nd Annual Academy Awards (2000) as Mel Gibson: [Presenting Best Original Screenplay] Mel Gibson : Consider the writer. Locked away in a lonely room, waiting for Lady Muse to alight gracefully and turn the stark blank empty void of a page into the stuff of masterpiece... geez, who writes this stuff? Movie Title: Mel Gibson's Unauthorized Video Diary (1991) as Gibson, Mel: [repeated line] Gibson, Mel : Gee, I hope nobody saw that. Gibson, Mel : It's a quitter. A quitter, you know, those things that crawl down the back of your heel? God, this makes me so ANGRY! I could just about DIE when this happens! This is too much! I can't stand it! I'M TAKING THIS TO EXECUTIVE LEVEL!!!!!! Gibson, Mel : It's a quitter. A quitter, they crawl down the back of your heel? God, this makes me so ANGRY! I could just about DIE when this happens! I'm gonna have somebody's butt for this! This is too much! I can't stand it! I'M TAKING THIS TO EXECUTIVE LEVEL!!!!!! Movie Title: Gallipoli (1981) as Frank Dunne: Archy Hamilton : What are you going to join, the Infantry? Frank Dunne : Not joining anything. Archy Hamilton : But you gotta be in it. Frank Dunne : Don't have to if you don't want to. Archy Hamilton : You gotta be. Frank Dunne : No I don't. It's a free country, or haven't you heard. Archy Hamilton : You of all people should be going. Frank Dunne : Why me of all people? Archy Hamilton : 'Cause you're an athlete. Frank Dunne : [Laughs] What's that got to do with it? Archy Hamilton : I've got mates who'd be lucky to do the hundred in twelve and they're going to do their bit, so why shouldn't you? Frank Dunne : Because it's not our bloody war. Archy Hamilton : What do you mean, not our war? Frank Dunne : It's an English war, it's got nothing to do with us. Archy Hamilton : You know what you are, a bloody coward. Frank Dunne : There's only one reason I haven't knocked you down mate. Archy Hamilton : What? Frank Dunne : 'Cause I don't feel like carrying you to the next bloody water hole. Now shut up and don't open your yap about the war again. Frank Dunne : Have another drink. Archy Hamilton : Whiskey doesn't make you look old. Frank Dunne : Oh doesn't it just. Have you seen my dad? I know he looks like a wreck but he's really thirty-five. Frank Dunne : The thing I can't stand about you mate is you're always so bloody cheerful. Major Barton : Marker flags. Who told him there were marker flags? Lt. Grey : I heard someone say they'd seen one sir. Major Barton : Who? Who? Lt. Grey : I'm not sure sir. Major Barton : Grey, you bloody idiot. Nobody got further than ten yards. Frank Dunne : Why don't you go above Robinson's head sir? Major Barton : General Gardner. Go like the wind. Archy Hamilton : I'll see you when I see you. Frank Dunne : Not if I see you first. Colonel Robinson: Tell Major Barton that the attack must proceed. Frank Dunne : Sir, I don't think you've got the picture: our men are being cut down before they can get five yards from the trench. Colonel Robinson: I don't care! (hits the phone) Bloody line! Our marker flags were seen in the Turkish trenches. Even if only one man made it to the enemy trench, the attack must continue at all costs. Frank Dunne : But... Colonel Robinson: I repeat, the attack must proceed! Movie Title: Bird on a Wire (1990) as Rick / Rick Jarmin: Rick Jarmin : You come to Detroit and you rent a Beamer? That's like going to Germany and eating Jimmy Dean sausages! Rick Jarmin : What the hell are you doing here? Marianne Graves : Me? What the hell are you doing here? Rick Jarmin : Being shot in the butt. [In an airplane.] Rick Jarmin : Put you head between your knees. Marianne Graves : [doing so] Now what? Rick Jarmin : Kiss your ass goodbye. We got no wheels, and we're coming down! [Repeated line] Rick Jarmin : This can't be good for you. Marianne Graves : What are you doing here? Rick Jarmin : I missed you. Now hop on... Rick Jarmin : That ought to cover the damages. Raun : What damages? [Rick rides a motorbike through the closed salon door] Rachel Varney : Are you sure about that? Rick Jarmin : When you've got a knife up my ass, I'm sure. Rachel Varney : I'm engaged to be married. Rick Jarmin : Well, flagellations. Rick Jarmin : What does it matter to you - you're happily married? Marianne Graves : I'm not. Rick : Not happy? Marianne : Not married. Rick Jarmin : I haven't had a girlfriend for 5 years. Marianne Graves : Really? Rick : Yeah - Mr. Wiggly's been on bread and water for 5 years. Marianne Graves : Feels familiar doesn't it? Rick Jarmin : I thought you didn't remember. Movie Title: The Patriot (2000) as Benjamin Martin: Benjamin Martin : Before this war is over, I'm going to kill you. Colonel William Tavington : Why wait? Charlotte : You have done nothing to be ashamed of. Benjamin Martin : I have done nothing. And for that I am ashamed. Benjamin Martin : Aim small, miss small. Benjamin Martin : I'm a parent. I haven't got the luxury of principles. Benjamin Martin : Why should I agree to swap one tyrant three thousand miles away for three thousand tyrants one mile away? Benjamin Martin : I have long feared that my sins would return to haunt me, and the cost would be more than I could bear. Nathan Martin : Father, I killed those men. Benjamin Martin : It's alright, Nathan. You had no choice. Nathan Martin : I'm glad I killed those men. I'm glad. Benjamin Martin : He cannot be held as a spy. Colonel William Tavington : Oh, we're not going to hold him. We're going to hang him. Gabriel Edward Martin : [shouting] I'm not a child. Benjamin Martin : [shouting] You're my child. Colonel William Tavington : Kill me before the war is over, will you? It appears that you are not the better man. Benjamin Martin : You're right. My sons were better men. [After Benjamin removes a British soldier's uniform off of Thomas] Benjamin Martin : Not yet... Thomas. Thomas : When? Benjamin Martin : 17. Thomas : That's two years... it's already been two. The war could be over by then! Benjamin Martin : God willing. John Billings : I say we drink the wine, eat the dogs, and use the paper for musket lining. Reverend Oliver : [alarmed] eat the dogs! Benjamin Martin : [going along with Billings' joke] A dog is a fine meal. Reverend Oliver : [still alarmed] G-G-Good Heavens! [Billings and Martin laugh] Benjamin Martin : When you have a family of your own, you'll understand. Gabriel Edward Martin : When I have a family of my own, I won't hide behind it. John Billings : There's a story going around 'bout how some 20 Redcoats got killed by a ghost or some damn thing, carried a Cherokee tomahawk. Benjamin Martin : Aren't you a little old to be believing in ghost stories? Benjamin Martin : This battle was over before it begun. Movie Title: The Bounty (1984) as Christian: Christian : I am in hell, sir! I am in hell! Movie Title: The Million Dollar Hotel (2000) as Detective Skinner: Dixie : Somebody's trying to kill me. Detective Skinner : If they succeed, I'll come see you again. Detective Skinner : No matter how strange or despicable you act, I can do one better, because I work for the government! Detective Skinner : I could play the violin and wipe my own ass all at the same time. Movie Title: The 68th Annual Academy Awards (1996) as Mel Gibson: [accepting his Best Director award] Mel Gibson : Now that I'm a bona fide director with a golden boy, what I really want to do is act. Movie Title: Forever Young (1992) as Daniel: Daniel : Are you Nat Cooper? Nat Cooper: It's the dead guy! [Felix runs in to the hallway, and also sees Daniel.] Felix : It's the dead guy! Daniel : You're holding my heart. Movie Title: Tequila Sunrise (1988) as McKussic / Dale McKussic: Carlos : Don't worry, buddy. I won't kill her unless you approve. McKussic : And if I don't approve? Carlos : Then we'll talk until you do... Dale McKussic : Nobody wants me to quit. You know, don't quit. Don't get caught. Stay on top long enough for us to knock you off. I mean, that's the motto around here. Nobody wants me to quit. The cops want to bust me. The Colombians want my connections. My wife, she wants my money. Her lawyer agrees and mine likes getting paid to argue with him. Nobody wants me to quit. I haven't even mentioned my customers here. You know they don't want me to quit. Jo Ann : That is completely paranoid. Dale McKussic : Hey, I'm just talking here. I'm not trying to convince you of a goddamn thing. And I may be paranoid, but then again nobody wants me to quit. Jo Ann : I'm sorry. I was just joking. I didn't mean to hurt you. Dale McKussic : Aw, come on. It didn't hurt that bad. Just looking at you hurts more. Jo Ann : So you thought Andy Leonard would give you respectability. Dale McKussic : Yes, ma'am. Jo Ann : Well what do you need it for? Dale McKussic : ... You. Movie Title: Conspiracy Theory (1997) as Jerry / Jerry Fletcher: Alice Sutton : He said a dog bit his nose. Jerry Fletcher : Arf. [Walking through a metal detector.] Jerry Fletcher : Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys? Jerry Fletcher : A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line. Jerry Fletcher : Love gives you wings. It makes you fly. I don't even call it love. I call it Geronimo. When you're in love, you'll jump right from the top of the Empire State and you won't care, screaming "Geronimo" the whole way down. I love her so bad, I just... whoa, she wrecks me. I'd die for her. Jerry Fletcher : I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton. Jerry : David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Richard Speck... Alice : What about them? Jerry : Serial killers. Serial killers only have two names. You ever notice that? But lone gunmen assassins, they always have three names. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman... Alice : John Hinckley. He shot Reagan. He only has two names. Jerry : Yeah, but he only just shot Reagan. Reagan didn't die. If Reagan had died, I'm pretty sure we probably would all know what John Hinckley's middle name was. [About lone gunmen having three names each.] Jerry : I just thought of another one: James Earl Ray, the guy who got Luther King. Then of course, there's Sirhan Sirhan. I still haven't figured that one out. Maybe it's Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan, I don't know. Jerry : It's on the tip of my brain. Jerry : I'm only paranoid because they want me dead. Jerry : I love you. Alice : Jerry, no, no, you don't love me. Jerry : Sure I do. Alice : No, no. Jerry : I don't? Jerry : You can't hurt me any more. Dr. Jonas : I'll be the judge of that. Jerry Fletcher : To be normal, to drink Coca-Cola and eat Kentucky Fried Chicken is to be in a conspiracy against yourself. Alice Sutton : I love you, too. Jerry Fletcher : Oh Alice... now you tell me. Jerry Fletcher : The Vietnam War was fought over a bet that Howard Hughes lost to Aristotle Onassis. Alice Sutton : Where are you, Jerry? Jerry Fletcher : I'm here. Alice Sutton : Where's here, Jerry? Jerry Fletcher : On the floor. Alice Sutton : How did you know this was my car? Jerry : I didn't. It was just a lucky guess. Look, I feel kinda naked. Could we get outta here? Alice Sutton : Please don't tell me you're naked back there. Jerry : No, it's just a figure of speech, could we go? Please? Alice Sutton : Yeah, OK, OK. Jerry : That's what they, they start when you're young, y'know. When you're little they, at school they, they Baden-Powell all the boys and they Betty Crocker all the girls and they, then they air condition ya' and put ya' in the Heat N' Bake Oven and ya' can't breathe any more. Jerry : What do we know?! If I know what we know then I could tell you what we know and if anyone else knows! [Communicating through the air ducts] Alice : Jerry, I'm coming to get you. Jerry : Alice, Alice, You can fit through there? [Before getting a needle] Jerry Fletcher : What's that? Dr. Jonas : Gravy for the brain. Jerry Fletcher : No! Not Gravy! Nooooooo! [talking through vent] Alice : Jerry? Jerry : Alice is that you? Alice : Yes Jerry. Jerry : Oh Alice, I'm so sorry that you're dead. Jerry : GET BACK you damn, dumb, complicit sons of bitches! You're looking for a man with NO NOSE! Not me, not me! Movie Title: The Man Without a Face (1993) as Justin McLeod / McLeod: McLeod : What is your name? Chuck Norstadt : Chuck. Chuck Norstad. McLeod : Well, Chuck Chuck Norstad. McLeod : "Why the System Should Be Changed" -- exclamation point -- "by Charles E. Norstadt" I had no idea you pondered such weighty matters, Charles E. McLeod : The problem is one of water. Chuck Norstadt : Water? McLeod : Water. Women have, on average, about 5% more of it than do men, making them subject to different forces of gravity. Oh don't take my word for it, you can look it up in Newton. It's there. Chuck Norstadt : Couldn't they be drained? [McLeod laughs.] Chuck Norstadt : I'm serious! McLeod : Well, I believe they're waiting for us to drink more fluids. McLeod : Think Norstad, reason. Have I ever abused you? Have I ever lay a hand on you of anything but friendship? Could I ever do such a thing? Could you imagine me ever doing so? And what about the past? Norstad: Just tell me you didn't and I'll believe you. McLeoud: No sir, I didn't spend all summer teaching you, so you could cheat on this question. Justin McLeod : Now, I'd like you to write an essay. Any topic you'd like. Chuck Norstadt : Why? It's not on the exam. Justin McLeod : Why did you come here? Quickly, don't think, just answer. Why? Chuck Norstadt : For s-some help, you know. Justin McLeod : No, I don't know. Do you want help or not? Chuck Norstadt : Yeah, I guess so, if you're really a teacher. Justin McLeod : "Yeah, I guess so", SIR. Chuck Norstadt : Yes, I guess so, sir. Justin McLeod : Good. This is the way it works. Aut disce aut discede -- learn or leave. Because it's of no consequence to me, one way or the other. Understood? [Going over Chuck's essay] Justin McLeod : What would you change about the government? Chuck Norstadt : Me? Um, lots of things. Justin McLeod : Such as? Chuck Norstadt : Su-such as-- Justin McLeod : Such as how the word is spelled, for example. Chuck Norstadt : What? Justin McLeod : Judging by your essay, looks as if you hope to change the spelling of the word "government," "democracy," and, uh, "Richard Miltown Nixon." Chuck Norstadt : So I'm not too good at spelling. Justin McLeod : If you're going to plagiarize, you could at least show the courtesy of copying-- Chuck Norstadt : What are you talking about?! Justin McLeod : Don't! Who wrote this? Who? Chuck Norstadt : Bill Garfield. Justin McLeod : Never heard of him. Chuck Norstadt : He's at Columbia. Justin McLeod : Ah! I see you're a high-class cheat. Chuck Norstadt : I'm not a cheat, listen-- Justin McLeod : Yes you are. Chuck Norstadt : I hate writing. Justin McLeod : Aut disce aut discede! Chuck Norstadt : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I betrayed you. I stabbed you in the back, and I don't even know why. Justin McLeod : Oh, come on, we're not doing Julius Caesar now. Chuck Norstadt : What? Justin McLeod : "Et tu, Chuckus"? It's all right, I'll live with it. Chuck Norstadt : You mean, you don't hate my guts? Justin McLeod : No, I don't hate your guts. Justin McLeod : I like privacy. Chuck Norstadt : Yeah, well, um, what about living alone? Do you like that? Justin McLeod : It likes me. Chuck Norstadt : What do you mean? Justin McLeod : I've become a proper fairy-tale troll here, Norstadt. Tourist board ought to pay me. Justin McLeod : People spend too much time thinking of the past. Whatever else it is, it's gone. Justin McLeod : Is it this? Is this what you see? I assure you it is human. But if that's all you see, then you don't see me. You can't see me. Movie Title: Maverick (1994) as Maverick: Annabelle : There isn't a Mrs. Maverick is there? Maverick : Oh I'm sure I would have remembered. Maverick : I've just noticed something. Annabelle : What? Maverick : You can't help it can you? You are irresistible. Maverick : I've only got one gun, that's 6 bullets. They're six, that's 36 bullets. Maybe they've got two guns, that's 72 bullets, maybe they've got rifles... Annabelle : You're babbling. Maverick : No I wasn't. Maverick : Oh, you sure do pick the spots. Joseph : Yeah, I know. You know the next time you people come and drive us off our land I'm gonna find a nice piece of swamp that's so God-awful, maybe then you'll leave us the hell alone. Maverick : See that hawk? You know what it means? Annabelle : No. What does it mean? Maverick : Nothing. But you didn't know that did you? Annabelle : What's with you and Indians anyway? Maverick : Oh nothing, I try to shoot one every day before noon, how about you Coop? I figured it was their fault too... for being on our land when we got here. Maverick : From the moment I slapped eyes on this hombre, I smelled trouble. And re-fried beans. Maverick : So, are you gonna miss me? Annabelle : Are you gonna miss me? Maverick : You ARE gonna miss me. Maverick : Now, there's something I want you to do for me. Annabelle : Never. I am a lady. Not if you were a hundred years old, not if I was a hundred years old... Maverick : Calm down, lady. I don't want to sleep with you. Annabelle : Why not? Maverick : Why not? Who knows what parts of me you'd steal next. I'd wake up with all sorts of things missing. Maverick : Lord... whatever I've done to piss you off... if you could just get me out of this and somehow let me know what it was I promise to rectify the situation. Maverick : Well, now, I bring all sorts of plusses to the table. I hardly ever bluff and I never ever cheat. Annabelle : What kind of animal are you? Maverick : Vulture. [having just sold his donkey] Maverick : Well he doesn't eat much, but he's a regular jackass. And hee-aw, hee-aw, he always likes to be called Arthur. [An old man walks up to the wagon, and Maverick tries to help him up] Driver: No, no. I'm the driver. Maverick : Oh. Are you alright? Driver: Why does everybody always ask me that? Maverick : My old pappy always used to say, "there is no more deeply satisfying religious experience... than cheatin' on a cheater." Zane Cooper : I never said that once. You've been misquoting me all your life. Maverick : What, we're going to quibble over fine points? Zane Cooper : You never even get close. Give me some credit. Annabelle : You put me out of the game? Maverick : Yes... I did. Annabelle : Well... I'll just pretend I was playing with someone else's money. Maverick : That shouldn't be too hard. Annabelle : How'd you know I was bluffing? I didn't do any of my tells. I didn't shuffle my cards, I didn't pull my hair, I didn't even flick my teeth. Maverick : You held your breath. If you'd been excited, you would have started breathing harder. Annabelle : I did not. [Looks at the Commodore] Annabelle : Did I? [Commodore nods] Annabelle : [Annabelle looks at Angel] Did I? [Angel nods] Annabelle : [Annabelle looks at the dealer] Did I? [The dealer nods] Annabelle : Well, I'll just pretend I was playin' with someone else's money. Maverick : That shouldn't be too hard. [Annabelle gets up. Cooper leans toward her] Zane Cooper : [whispering] You did hold your breath, ma'am. Annabelle : Well look at this. Here's a lot of money and your gun is six feet away. Marshal Zane Cooper & Bret Maverick, Jr.: Eight. Annabelle : What a remarkable family. Maverick : How'd she - how'd you know? Annabelle : Well, you both have the exclusive entails. You both have the same height, the same build, you both talk the same, you both kiss the same, you both draw your guns the same, and you both sing the same wrong words to 'Amazing Grace'. Zane Cooper & Maverick: Do not. Zane Cooper : Well, Bret, you know what we ended up with? A half a million dollar silk shirt. Maverick : Nope, we ended up with a quarter million dollar silk shirt, because my old pappy always used to say "Don't put the chicken in front of"... no, wait "Never cut the cards before"... no, wait, "Don't put all you eggs in one basket". Zane Cooper : Now that, I said. Maverick : I don't know why I kept the rest of the money in the satchel, though. Zane Cooper : I do. Maverick : So do I. Movie Title: Braveheart (1995) as William Wallace: Princess Isabelle : The king desires peace. William Wallace : Longshanks desires peace? Princess Isabelle : He declares it to me, I swear it. He proposes that you withdraw your attack. In return he grants you title, estates, and this chest of gold which I am to pay to you personally. William Wallace : A lordship and titles. Gold. That I should become Judas? Princess Isabelle : Peace is made in such ways. William Wallace : Slaves are made in such ways. The last time Longshanks spoke of peace I was a boy. And many Scottish nobles, who would not be slaves, were lured by him under a flag of truce to a barn, where he had them hanged. I was very young, but I remember Longshank's notion of peace. William Wallace : It's all for nothing if you don't have freedom. William Wallace : There's a difference between us. You think the people of this land exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom. And I go to make sure that they have it. William Wallace : Lower your flags and march straight back to England, stopping at every home to beg forgiveness for a hundred years of theft, rape, and murder. Do this and your men shall live. Do it not, and every one of you will die today. Princess Isabelle : I understand you have suffered. I know... about your woman. William Wallace : [pauses, then sighs sadly] She was my wife. We married in secret because I would not share her with an English lord. They killed her to get to me. I've never spoken of it, I don't know why I tell you now, except... I see her strength in you. One day, you will be a queen. And you must open your eyes. [regains composure, speaks firmly] William Wallace : You tell your king that William Wallace will NOT be ruled... and nor will any Scot while I live. William Wallace : I came home to raise crops, and God willing, a family. If I can live in peace, I will. William Wallace : It's fine Scottish weather we're having. The rain is falling straight down and kind of to the side like. William Wallace : Why do you help me? Princess Isabelle : Because of the way you are looking at me now. William Wallace : And if this is your army, why does it go? Soldier: We didn't come here to fight for them. Second Soldier: Home, the English are too many. William Wallace : I see a whole army of my country men, here, in defiance of tyranny. What will you do without freedom? Will you fight? Soldier: Against that? No, we will run, and we will live. William Wallace : Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade all of that from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take our freeeedoooomm. William Wallace : Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse. William Wallace : I love you. Always have. I want to marry you. Stephen : [Speaking heavenward] Him? That can't be William Wallace. I'm prettier than this man. Alright Father, I'll ask him. Stephen : [To William] If I risk my neck for you, will I get a chance to kill Englishmen? Hamish : Is your father a ghost, or do you converse with the Almighty? Stephen : In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God. Stephen : [Heavenward] Yes, Father. Stephen : [To William and the others] The Almighty says don't change the subject; just answer the fucking question. William Wallace : The answer is yes. Fight for me, you get to kill the English. Stephen : Excellent. William Wallace : ...chaque jour j'ai pensé à toi. William Wallace : The answer is yes. Fight for me, you get to kill the English. Stephen : Excellent. William Wallace : Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace. Young soldier : William Wallace is 7 feet tall. William Wallace : Yes, I've heard. He kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I am William Wallace, and I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight? William Wallace : Go back to England and tell them there that Scotland's daughters and sons are yours no more. Tell them Scotland is free. William Wallace : Every man dies, not every man really lives. William Wallace : We all end up dead, the question is how and why. William Wallace : You dropped your rock. Royal Magistrate : The prisoner wishes to say a word. William Wallace : FREEEEE-DOMMMMMM. Hamish : What in the hell are the Irish doing fighting with the English? Stephen : I wouldn't worry about them. Like I said, it's my island. William Wallace : Your island? Stephen : MY ISLAND. Yup. Hamish : Where are you going? William Wallace : I'm going to pick a fight. Hamish : Well, we didn't get dressed up for nothing. Robert the Bruce : Now, I know you've sacrificed much. But fighting these odds looks like rage, not courage. William Wallace : It's well beyond rage. Help me. For Christ's sake, help yourselves. If we join, we can win. If we win, well then we'll have what none of us has ever had before: a country of our own. William Wallace : Ego sum hominus indomitus. [William Wallace is dreaming, and sees the spirit of his wife] William Wallace : I'm dreaming. Murron : Yes, you are. And you must wake, William. [pause] William Wallace : I don't want to wake. I want to stay here with you. Movie Title: Mad Max (1979) as Max: Fifi : They say people don't believe in heroes anymore. Well damn them! You and me, Max, we're gonna give them back their heroes! Max : Ah, Fif. Do you really expect me to go for that crap? Fifi : You gotta admit I sounded good there for a minute, huh? [Max hands Fifi his letter of resignation] Fifi : What's this? Max : I'm through. Fifi : Again? Max : No, not again. I'm through. I'm quitting. Fifi : Sit down. Max : I didn't come here to dicuss it, I came here to say it. I'm through. Fifi : Now just a minute! Alright, so the Goose bought it, but that's the way he always came in the world... Max : -Off beat! Max : I'm scared, Fif. It's that rat circus out there, I'm beginning to enjoy it. Look, any longer out on that road and I'm one of them, a terminal psychotic, except that I've got this bronze badge that says that I'm one of the good guys. [The Kid is handcuffed to a car that's about to explode] Max : The chain in those handcuffs is high-tensile steel. It'd take you ten minutes to hack through it with this. Now, if you're lucky, you could hack through your ankle in five minutes. Go. [The hacksaw is dropped next to The Kid, and Max limps off] Movie Title: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) as Max: Max : Thunderdome. How do I get in there? Aunty Entity : That's easy. Pick a fight! The Collector : Perhaps you've got something to trade after all. Max : Keep talkin' The Collector : Twenty-four hours of your life, in return, you'll get back what was stolen. Max : Sounds like a bargain. The Collector : It's not. Aunty Entity : This is no enemy. It's almost family. Max : Oh, I see, real civilized! Aunty Entity : The reasons don't concern you, only the conditions. Do you want the deal or not? Max : Mmm [nods in agreement] The Collector : The first is, no one knows you're working for Aunty. You hit him, you go. The second is, it's a fair fight. The third is, it's to the death. Max : Who's the bunny? Max : I don't know anything about methane. Aunty Entity : You can shovel shit can't you? Aunty Entity : And what did you do before all this? Max : I was a cop, a driver. Aunty Entity : But how the world turns. One day, cock of the walk. Next, a feather duster. Master : Who you? Max : Me Max. Aunty Entity : We call it Underworld. That's where Bartertown gets its energy. Max : What, oil? Natural gas? Aunty Entity : Pigs. Max : You mean pigs like those? Aunty Entity : That's right. Max : Bullshit! Aunty Entity : No. Pig shit. Max : What? The Collector : Pig shit. The lights, the motors, the vehicles, all run by a high-powered gas called methane. And methane cometh from pig shit. [Max recognizes Jedediah] Max : YOU! Jedediah the Pilot : Me? Max : You, it's your lucky day! Jedediah the Pilot : It is? Max : Uh huh. You've got a plane. Jedediah the Pilot : I have? [Outside, a plane is being started] Max : It might just save your life. Jedediah the Pilot : It will? Max : Uh huh. Max : The first place you'll find is a sleaze-pit called Bartertown. Now if the earth doesn't swallow you up first, that place sure as hell will! Master : Me order! Me Master! Me run Bartertown! Max : Sure, that's why you live in shit! Master : Not shit! Energy! Max : Call it what you like. It still smells like shit to me! Jedediah the Pilot : We're not gonna make it. Max : We haven't got any choice. Jedediah the Pilot : between them and us, there isn't enough runway. Max : There will be. Max : I ain't Captain Walker. I'm the guy who carries Mr. Dead in his pocket. Max : So, what's the plan? Pigkiller : [laughing] PLAN? There ain't no plan! [Pig Killer's leg been impaled to the door with a spear] Max : [grabbing the door] Okay, we're going to count to three. One... [Max rips open the door, freeing Pig Killer's impaled leg] Pigkiller : [whimpering, in pain] What happened to two...? Max : Who are you? Slake : We're the waiting ones. Movie Title: Lethal Weapon (1987) as Martin Riggs: Martin Riggs : You want me to drive? Roger Murtaugh : No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive. Martin Riggs : Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal. Martin Riggs : We both know why I was transferred. Everyone thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked. Roger Murtaugh : Guess what? Martin Riggs : What? Roger Murtaugh : I don't want to work with you! Martin Riggs : Hey, don't. Roger Murtaugh : Ain't got no choice! Looks like we both are fucked! Martin Riggs : Terrific. Roger Murtaugh : God hates me. That's what it is. Martin Riggs : Hate him back; it works for me. Roger Murtaugh : Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself? Martin Riggs : Oh, for Chriss-... Roger Murtaugh : Shut up! Yes or no - you wanna die? Martin Riggs : Oh, I got the job done! What the hell do you want? Roger Murtaugh : JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION! Martin Riggs : Well, what do you wanna hear, man? Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet? Huh? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it? This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it? The job! Doin' the job! Now that's the reason! [Picking up a young prostitute] Young prostitute: What have you got in mind? Martin Riggs : Well, I want you to come home and watch television with me. Young prostitute: You serious? Martin Riggs : Yeah. "The 3 Stooges" are on in 20 minutes. Martin Riggs : This is a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun! Martin Riggs : The guy who shot me! The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker. Roger Murtaugh : You sure? Martin Riggs : Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole. [Discussing a theory] Martin Riggs : That's very thin. Roger Murtaugh : Thin is my middle name. Martin Riggs : Considering your wife's cooking, I'm not surprised. Martin Riggs : I don't make things difficult. That's the way they get, all by themselves. [Riggs is captured by General McAlister] Martin Riggs : You're General Peter McAlister, Commander of Shadow Company. McAlister : I see we've heard of each other. Martin Riggs : Yep. It'll almost be a shame when I nail you. Martin Riggs : Look, why don't we just the cut the shit here? We both know why I was transferred. People think I'm crazy, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked. Martin Riggs : Perhaps there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department? Roger Murtaugh : Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill? Martin Riggs : Well, I haven't killed you yet. Martin Riggs : You don't trust me at all, do you? Roger Murtaugh : Well, I'll tell you what. You make it through tomorrow without killing anybody, especially me, or yourself, then I'll start trusting you. Martin Riggs : Fair enough. Martin Riggs : I do it real good, you know. Roger Murtaugh : Do what? Martin Riggs : When I was 19, I did a guy in Laos with a rifle shot at a thousand yards in high wind. Maybe eight or even ten guys in the world could have made that shot. It's the only thing I was ever good at... Well, see you tomorrow. Roger Murtaugh : Yeah. See you then. Roger Murtaugh : See how easy that was? Boom, still alive. Now we question him. You know why we question him? Because I got him in the leg. I didn't shoot him full of holes or try to jump off a building with him. Martin Riggs : Hey, that's not fair. The building guy lived. Martin Riggs : You know they're going to kill her, don't you? Roger Murtaugh : Yeah. Martin Riggs : So if you want her back, you're going to have to take her away from them. Roger Murtaugh : I know. Martin Riggs : You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot to kill, get as many of them as you can. All you got to do is just not miss. Roger Murtaugh : I won't miss. Martin Riggs : We're going to get bloody on this one, Rog. Roger Murtaugh : Are you really crazy? Or are you as good as you say you are? Martin Riggs : You're just gonna have to trust me. [After rescuing Roger and Rianne] Martin Riggs : Let's make like the shepherd and get the flock out of here! Martin Riggs : What do you say, Jack? You like a shot at the title? Mr. Joshua : I don't mind if I do. Martin Riggs : Roger. Roger Murtaugh : What? Martin Riggs : Uh, 10-4. Martin Riggs : What did he mean when he said you owed him? Roger Murtaugh : We served together in '65. Ia Drang Valley. Saved my life. Took a bayonet in the lungs. Martin Riggs : That was nice of him. Roger Murtaugh : Pretty thin, huh? Martin Riggs : Anorexic. Martin Riggs : [Riggs and Murtaugh go to a bust at a "rich house"] Saw this on Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless... Movie Title: Hamlet (1990) as Hamlet: Hamlet : To be, or not to be, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them. Hamlet : The play's the thing, wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king. Movie Title: The Road Warrior (1981) as Max: Max : I'm just here for the gasoline. Max : If it's all the same to you... I'll drive that tanker. Pappagallo : The offer is closed. Too late for deals. Max : No deals. I want to drive that truck. Max : Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me. [Max loads his shotgun with a shell found on a dead body] The Gyro Captain : How do we know that one's not a dud? [Max aims at the Captain's face] Max : Find out. Max : I got all I need here. Papagallo : You don't have a future. I could offer you that. The Gyro Captain : Look, we had a deal. I show you the gas, and you let me go, right? Max : The arrangement was I wouldn't kill you. The Gyro Captain : After all I've done for you... [Max jerks the Captain's face to his own by the collar] Max : I reckon you got a bargain, didn't you? Max : I want to drive that truck. Zetta : And how do you plan to do that? Look at yourself. You couldn't drive a wheelchair. Movie Title: Air America (1990) as Gene Ryack / Gene: Rob Diehl : Hey Gene, You will remember what I said?.. Shhhh! Gene Ryack : Well the problem is Rob, you and I weren't here, this conversation never happened, so I cant remember what the fuck you didn't tell me! Rob Diehl : You know more about it than American intelligence Gene! Gene Ryack : Rob, I wish you wouldn't use the words American Intelligence to describe what it is you do! Gene Ryack : Here at Air America, what's considered psychotic behavior anywhere else is company policy. Billy Covington : [Gene is loading a machine gun] Excuse me, is that an Uzi? Gene Ryack : (glances at Babo & Billy) You know, that would make a great TV commercial? 'Excuse me, is that an Uzi?' 'Why, yes it is. Hey, self-defense is no laughing matter! That why when I want number one I pack an Uzi...accept no substitutes.' Billy Covington : I don't wanna crash twice in one day! Gene Ryack : Don't worry, I crash better that anyone I know. [To Billy] Gene Ryack : Why don't you go home huh? Look at me, look at Neely, we're all a bunch of trouble junkies, we've been mainlining danger and adrenaline for so long nothing else gets us off, it's kind a sick. [Pause] Gene Ryack : Before you pick up the habit and you will pick up the habit. Go back to L.A. and be the weirdest guy in the room again. Whada you think? Gene Ryack : I've seen things here that I could never possibly have imagined, and I've got a pretty broad imagination. Gene Ryack : Well down here at Crazy Gene's Used Airplanes, people think we're out of our minds since we slashed the prices on our used C1-23's! Billy Covington : Gene, you cant sell the plane! It's government property! Gene Ryack : The U.S. Government doesn't exist in Laos and neither does this plane! Billy Covington : Good point! Gene : So we'll sit back and we'll do what we do best. We fly. Movie Title: Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) as Martin Riggs: Roger Murtaugh : What the hell? Who's this joker? Martin Riggs : I don't know, spokesman for the NRA, maybe. Roger Murtaugh : What do we do? Martin Riggs : Run him over. Roger Murtaugh : What if he turns around and shoots us with that assault rifle? Martin Riggs : Well he hasn't yet. Have you thought about that? Don't be a don't-be, be a do-be. C'mon Rodge, be POSITIVE. Roger Murtaugh : WELL LET'S RUN HIM OVER. Martin Riggs : Good, I'm glad you see things my way. Roger Murtaugh : I hope he doesn't turn around. Martin Riggs : He won't turn around.We'll creep up on him. WILL him not to turn. Roger Murtaugh : Will him? Martin Riggs : Yeah, power of positive thinking. C'mon WILL him not to turn. DON'T TURN AROUND, DON'T TURN AROUND. C'mon I need you man. Roger Murtaugh : DON'T TURN AROUND. Martin Riggs : That's it. DON'T TURN AROUND. DON'T TURN AROUND. We're better than him. Roger Murtaugh : DON'T TURN AROUND. Martin Riggs : YEAH. DON'T TURN AROUND. DON'T TURN AROUND. He's turning. Leo Getz : Leo Getz, private investigator. Martin Riggs : Ah, private investigator? Yes, Mr. Getz, I was just wondering if you'd be willing to investigate my privates. Leo Getz : Investigate what? Martin Riggs : Investigate my privates, you stupid shit. Martin Riggs : So this must have been what Uncle Benny meant by Four Fathers. Looks like Japan's version of the Marx brothers. Let's see we got Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and uh, Fucko. Martin Riggs : You wanna get married, don'tcha? Lorna : Yes I do. Martin Riggs : Why didn't you tell me? Lorna : Because I didn't want to put any pressure on you, Riggs. I mean, if you want to someday, that'd be great; if you don't, I love you. I'll take you any way I can get you, Riggs. Dr. Stephanie Woods : My time is reserved for police officers with REAL problems and REAL needs. HAVE YOU GOT THAT? HAVE YOU? Martin Riggs : Care to run that by me again? Dr. Stephanie Woods : No. And do you know what? I don't like you. Martin Riggs : Stephanie, I CAN'T go out with you. I'm in a relationship, I'm VERY happy. Now you'll find somebody someday, but you've got to stop bothering me. Dr. Stephanie Woods : [painfully embarrassed] You're disgusting. YOU'RE DISGUSTING. What's the matter with you people? [Looking at a corpse] Butters : Ah, shit. He's dead, man. He's fuckin' dead, man. Yeah, this is how he wanted to come to America, right? Where was he, in The Killing Section? This guy's been shot 4 times. At close range, like he was executed. Roger Murtaugh : He WAS executed. Martin Riggs : Yeah, by the crew. Butters : What the FUCK, man? We got people gettin' killed left, right and center in this town; now we're IMPORTING victims? Hey, gangbangers wanna kill each other? No problem. You or me, one of us gets shot? Hey, occupational hazard. But just a normal guy, THIS fuckin' guy? What the fuck did he ever do to anybody? That ain't right. Roger Murtaugh : What do we do? Martin Riggs : Run him over. Roger Murtaugh : What if he turns around and shoots us with that assault rifle? Martin Riggs : He HASN'T yet. Have you thought about that? Don't be a don't-be, be a do-be. C'm on, Rog, be POSITIVE, now. Martin Riggs : I'll draw his fire and you run for cover. Roger Murtaugh : No. No, no, no. *I'll* draw his fire and *you* run for cover. Martin Riggs : What are you, out of your mind? You got a wife, kids. I got a lot less to lose than you. Roger Murtaugh : Riggs, I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but Lorna's pregnant and you're gonna be a father. Martin Riggs : No. Get going. Get... what did you say? Roger Murtaugh : You're gonna be a father. [Interrogating Uncle Benny in a dentist's office full of nitrous oxide] Uncle Benny : I'm sleeping with my wife's two sisters. Roger Murtaugh : You lucky sonofabitch. Martin Riggs : Good for you, Uncle Benny. Uncle Benny : Not so good when my wife finds out. Martin Riggs : I'm not too old for this shit. Roger Murtaugh : You okay Riggs? Martin Riggs : No, I'm NOT okay. I just has my ass kicked again. Martin Riggs : It's like... Roger Murtaugh : You're getting too old for this shit. Martin Riggs : Yeah. Roger Murtaugh : How about that? Finally. Martin Riggs : No, I can't be. I mean, I'm only... Jesus. Roger Murtaugh : Yeah, you're only. You can't beat the clock, Riggs. Capt. Ed Murphy : We're dinosaurs headed for extinction. Martin Riggs : Speak for yourself... Capt. Ed Murphy : Gotta make way for the NEW-IMPROVED police department; guys with guns and psychology degrees, like Butters, out there. Martin Riggs : Biter has a psychology degree? Roger Murtaugh : More like a PSYCHO degree. Capt. Ed Murphy : Ah, hell, I got nothin' against it; times have gotta change. Hey, I almost got shot by a hot-rodder with a zip gun; that's how far back *I* go. Roger Murtaugh : Since I met you, I done some hairy shit, but this is not gonna happen. I'm gonna be a grandfather; you and Lorna are gonna have a baby. He ain't worth dying for, Riggs. He ain't worth it. Martin Riggs : Yeah, yeah, you're right. Hey, if he gets away, we can track him down later on with a - you know, with a Howitzer or somethin'. Your son-in-law's over there bleedin', we should get him and get the hell out of here. Anyway, it's rainin'. Roger Murtaugh : Yeah, it's rainin'. Martin Riggs : I'm too old for this shit, too. Roger Murtaugh : Guy's too damned good. Martin Riggs : Well, yeah, he's damn good. I mean, how did he do that thing with the gun? How the hell did he do that? I mean, he took my gun apart with one deft move. How did he do that? Huh? How? Roger Murtaugh : Yeah... okay. Let's go ask him. Lorna Cole : What happened last night? Martin Riggs : Oh, gunfight, explosions, sharks, you know, the usual. Martin Riggs : You sure picked a strange angel, baby. But I got the message. Roger Murtaugh : You know Ebony Black? Martin Riggs : Yeah. You fucking her? Roger Murtaugh : What? No. No, it's not that. Martin Riggs : What is it? Martin Riggs : What's goin' on Rog, why you lyin' to me? Where's the money coming from? IA says you're on the take. Roger Murtaugh : You ever hear of Ebony Clarke? Martin Riggs : Yeah, she writes those cheesy sex novels... why? You boinkin' her? Roger Murtaugh : No I'm not boinkin' her, Trish is Ebony Clarke. Martin Riggs : You ARE boinkin' her. Roger Murtaugh : [Big Grin] Yeah, Yeah I'm boinkin' her. Martin Riggs : Flied lice? Uncle Benny : Flied lice? It's fried rice, you plick. Movie Title: Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) as Martin Riggs / Riggs: [Shouting at the driver while hanging onto the bonnet of a moving car] Martin Riggs : I'd like to see your drivers license and proof of insurance! [Riggs falls of the car] [after a wild car chase, the car looks like a wreck] Roger Murtaugh : This was a new car, Riggs... Martin Riggs : Well, it still is! [Riggs has dislocated his shoulder to escaped from a straight-jacket for a bet] Detective : How the hell do you do that man? Martin Riggs : Well, I dislocated my shoulder one time and I can do it whenever I want. Detective : God damn Man, doesn't that hurt? Martin Riggs : Yes it does but not as much as when I put it back in! [Slams his shoulder into an office partition wall] Martin Riggs : Well if it isn't Mrs. Sigmund Freud. Dr. Stephanie Woods : My door is always open. Martin Riggs : Well, I think we should keep this on a professional level, don't you Doc? Dr. Stephanie Woods : Why do you do this to yourself Riggs? Martin Riggs : Well, who else am I supposed to do it to? None of them'll let me. Besides, I need the money. Martin Riggs : Hey, this is a real nice hobby room. All you need now is a hobby! [McGee uses a nail gun, Riggs and Murtaugh drop to the floor, guns drawn] Mickey McGee : Hey, Jesus Christ! What the hell's wrong with you guys? Martin Riggs : I'm sorry, that's very uncool. Mickey McGee : You're sorry! I nearly shit my shorts for Christ's sake! [after seeing Rianne's commercial on TV] Martin Riggs : Hey what's with you Rog? She was great, she was beautiful. Mickey McGee : Yeah, I liked it. She made me want to go out and buy rubbers right now! George : Mr. Murtaugh has a gun. Martin Riggs : Yeah, but it's an old gun and he's not a very good shot. [Ribbing Murtaugh about his daughter's television ad for condoms] Riggs : In one ear, out the RUBBER... [Riggs sitting by the shore with his dog, Sam] Martin Riggs : Hey, did anyone ever tell you if you sit on the rocks too long, you get piles? Come on, lets get out of here. Martin Riggs : This stinks! Capt. Murphy : I don't give a fuck, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say "I don't give a fuck." [Riggs is smoking in the Captain's office] Capt. Murphy : And Riggs. Martin Riggs : What? [Murphy throws Riggs a no smoking sign] Capt. Murphy : You know what that says? Martin Riggs : Yeah, the same thing as that. [Pointing to a no smoking sign on the door] Martin Riggs : But I don't give a fuck! Martin Riggs : Police! Open up! Leo Getz : How do I know it's the police? Martin Riggs : After I shoot you through the door, you can examine the bullet. Open up! [after falling into a hotel swimming pool] Martin Riggs : Where were you man? You my partner or what? Why didn't you follow me down? Leo Getz : Yeah, why didn't you follow him down? Roger Murtaugh : Shut up! From seven floors up? Riggs : We're back, we're bad, you're black, I'm mad. [Admiring the view over L.A] Roger Murtaugh : That's downtown L.A. How would you like to have a house up here? Martin Riggs : Well, it would be okay on the three days of the year when you can actually see it! [Leo Getz explaining money laundering] Leo Getz : Okay, okay, okay, okay, this is the best part okay? You make a tax deduction on interest payments you don't even make! Am I an innovator? Am I a genius? Martin Riggs : You're a swindler! Roger Murtaugh : Cheat! Leo Getz : Everyone cheats a little bit... look at the Pentagon! Pieter Vorstedt : What is going on down here? Martin Riggs : Freeze dickhead! Get down here dickhead. Come on, it's been a bad day! Rudd : Now we DO have a serious diplomatic situation here, which I will be taking up with your state department first thing in the morning. Riggs : Whoa, you got me quakin' in my boots, but I'm still gonna bring you down. Rudd : My dear officer, you could not even give me a parking ticket! [Roger is sitting on a boobytrapped toilet] Roger : Why didn't they plant the bomb in Trish's stove? Riggs : Yeah. Think of all the needless suffering that could've ended there! [both laugh] Roger : I'm gonna die on a toilet, aren't I? Riggs : Guys like you don't die on toilets. [about to pull Murtaugh off the booby-trapped toilet] Martin Riggs : On 3, what do ya say? Roger Murtaugh : Okay. Martin Riggs : One... two... Roger Murtaugh : Wait, wait, wait! Martin Riggs : What? Roger Murtaugh : Do we do it on three? Or one, two, three, then do it? Martin Riggs : It's your ass, Cochise! Roger Murtaugh : My ass, yeah. On three. Martin Riggs : We go on three? Roger Murtaugh : Yeah. [Murtaugh is lying on top of Riggs in the bath, after the explosion] Martin Riggs : Get off me man! I don't want anybody to see us like this! [Riggs confronts Rudd and his minions in their office] Martin Riggs : Hey, don't bother calling the police. I'm here already. Arjen Rudd : I should have known. Martin Riggs : Well, well... it's the master race! Arjen Rudd : I hope you realize the trouble you are in right now. Martin Riggs : Well, as usual, you people have everything all upside down and turned around and back to front. Martin Riggs : I'm surprised you haven't heard of me, I got a bad reputation, like sometimes I just go nuts like now ha ha! Rika Van Den Haas : What are you doing here? Martin Riggs : Oh, I've just been upstairs with your boss, shooting the breeze... shooting his fish. Rika Van Den Haas : Rudd's hiding behind his diplomatic credentials. Riggs : He's not a good guy, your boss. Rika Van Den Haas : Then whatever he's doing, he shouldn't get away with it. [Riggs and Rika are in bed] Riggs : I think it's time for the seventh inning stretch. [Pause] Riggs : That's a baseball expression. Rika : I know. But we're only up to the fourth inning. Pieter Vorstedt : I was going to offer you a drink, Riggs, but I hear you're on the wagon these days. Martin Riggs : Yeah, that stuff'll kill you quick. Listen, you know so much about me; who the hell are you? Pieter Vorstedt : Vorstedt: I'm the guy that changes the course of your life, man. 4 years ago, Riggs, when you were a narc off Long Beach, you were getting too close to us so we put a contract out on you. I handled it myself; drove your car right off the fucking road, remember? Now, of course, you weren't driving. You can't imagine the surprise. I pulled back this matted mop of blood-soaked hair to see this woman's face... your wife, right? She didn't die straightaway... took a bit of time. [Riggs angrily charges for Vorstedt, but is restrained] Pieter Vorstedt : Don't know much luck with women, do you, Riggs? Martin Riggs : I'm not a cop tonight, Rog. This is personal. Martin Riggs : Hey, hey. Did you get them? The bad guys? Are they all gone? Roger Murtaugh : Yeah. Hey, hey. They've been... de-kaffir-nated. [Murtaugh is holding a wounded Riggs in his arms after killing Aryan] Martin Riggs : Hey Rog, could you reach into my pocket there? [Murtaugh reaches into Riggs's pants pocket, and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, thinking he wants a last smoke before he dies] Roger Murtaugh : Here you go. Martin Riggs : I, I want you to throw those things away, those things'll kill ya. Movie Title: Lethal Weapon 3 (1992) as Martin Riggs / Riggs: Trish : Aren't you forgetting something? Roger Murtaugh : Oh. [puckers lips] Trish : [thrusts bulletproof vest upon him] THIS! You wear it, you eat in it, you sleep in it! Okay? 6 more days! And Riggs, keep an eye on him. Riggs : Okay. Roger Murtaugh : She loves me. Martin Riggs : He's done this twice, oh, damn! I'm gonna suck his eyes out through his nose! Roger Murtaugh : I got 8 days to my retirement, and I will NOT make a stupid mistake! Martin Riggs : Look, there is no bomb in that building! I will bet vital parts of my anatomy to the fact! Trust me, okay? Trust me! Roger Murtaugh : That's usually my first mistake! Martin Riggs : When you retire, you're not just retiring you, man! You're retiring us! Riggs : We can't shoot a dog. People? Okay, but not dogs. Roger Murtaugh : I hope that when I do retire your new partner is just like you. Martin Riggs : That won't happen to me because there are winners and there are losers and god wouldn't do that to me. Martin Riggs : You have the right to remain unconscious. Anything you say ain't gonna be much. Martin Riggs : I'm chaos, and he's mayhem. We're a double act. [Siphoning gas] Martin Riggs : Yuck, Exxon! Lorna Cole : Are you trying to bait me, Riggs? Martin Riggs : I'm a master at it. Martin Riggs : Rodge. Roger Murtaugh : Yeah? Martin Riggs : Grab the cat! Roger Murtaugh : I thought you said you were gonna cut the red wire! Martin Riggs : Well I did, didn't I? Roger Murtaugh : No! You cut the blue wire! Martin Riggs : Well I meant the red wire. Jack Travis : Go to hell, Riggs. Martin Riggs : You first. Riggs : [punching a suspect who's waking from unconsciousness] Back to bed. Back to bed. Movie Title: Signs (2002) as Graham Hess: Graham Hess : Don't be afraid. [Morgan has an asthma attack] Graham Hess : We don't have his medicine. Don't be afraid, Morgan. We'll slow this down together. Feel my chest. Feel it moving in and out. Breathe like me. Breathe like me. Come on. Bo : I dreamed this. Graham Hess : Stay with me. I know it hurts. Be strong baby. It'll pass. It'll pass. [talking to God] Graham Hess : Don't do this to me again. Not again. I hate you. I hate you! The fear is feeding him. Don't be afraid of what's happening. Believe it's going to pass. Believe it. Just wait. Don't be afraid. The air is coming. Believe. We don't have to be afraid. It's about to pass. Here it comes. Don't be afraid. Here comes the air. Don't be afraid, Morgan. Feel my chest. Breathe with me. Together. The air is going in our lungs. Together. We're the same. We're the same. Merrill : We should save the flashlights. Graham Hess : [to God] I hate you. Officer Caroline : What kind of a machine bends a stalk of corn without breaking it? Graham Hess : It can't be by hand, it's too perfect. Graham Hess : Isabel, you are going to feel very silly when this turns out to be make-believe. Graham Hess : People break down into two groups when the experience something lucky. Group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in Group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation isn't fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in the Group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences? Graham Hess : You're scaring your sister. Bo : I'm already scared. Graham Hess : Swing away Merrill. Merrill... swing away. Colleen : Tell Morgan to play games. Graham Hess : I will. Colleen : It's okay to be silly... Tell Bo to listen to her brother. He'll always take care of her. Graham Hess : I will. Colleen : Tell Graham... Graham Hess : I'm here. Colleen : Tell Graham... to see. Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away. Graham Hess : Aaah. I am insane with anger. Merrill : We're gonna beat your ass, bitch. We're gonna tear your head off. Graham Hess : I'm losing my mind. It's time for an ass-whooping. Graham Hess : Lionel Prichard and the Wolfington brothers are back. Merrill : It's time for an ass-whupping. Graham Hess : This is not an intelligent way to approach this. Lee is a friend of mine. This is his son. Merrill : Yeah, we'll be doing Lee a favor. All right, listen, we both go outside, move around the house in opposite directions. We act crazy, insane with anger, make them crap in their pants, force them around till we meet up on the other side. Graham Hess : Explain "act crazy". Merrill : You know, curse and stuff. Graham Hess : You want me to curse? Merrill : You don't mean it. It's just for show. What? Graham Hess : Well, it won't be convincing. It doesn't sound natural when I curse. Merrill : Just make noises, then. Graham Hess : Explain "noises". Merrill : Are you gonna do this or what? Graham Hess : No, I'm not. Merrill : All right, you want them stealing something in the house next time? [outside light comes on] Merrill : On the count of three. One... Graham Hess : All right. Merrill : two... three! Graham Hess : Ahh! I'm insane with anger! Merrill : We're gonna beat your ass bitch! We're gonna tear your head off! Graham Hess : I'm losing my mind! It's time for an ass-whupping! [Merrill and Graham meet each other] Graham Hess : I cursed. Merrill : I heard. [rustling on the roof] Merrill : How did he get... Are you sure this is Lionel Prichard? Graham Hess : It's happening. Graham Hess : Morgan, after you were born, the doctor gave you to your mother. When she first looked at you, you just stared right back. You both just stared at each other for longest time, and you didn't even cry. Merrill : Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They're like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again. Graham Hess : Its just static, Morgan. Frequency. [Weird noises come from the baby monitor] Morgan : It's a code. Bo : Why can't they get girlfriends? Graham Hess : [an alien tried to poison Morgan earlier] That's why he had asthma. It can't be a coincidence. His lungs were closed... no poison got it. No poison got in. [Merrill checks Morgan's pulse] Graham Hess : Don't touch him yet. [Morgan isn't moving, then suddenly...] Morgan : Dad? Did someone save me? Graham Hess : [starts crying] Yeah, baby. I think someone did. Graham Hess : That's why he had asthma. It can't be luck. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed. No poison got in. No poison got in. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed. [Merrill checks for a pulse] Graham Hess : Don't touch him. Give him a minute. [Merrill starts crying] Merrill : Graham... Graham Hess : Give him a second. Bo : Daddy... Graham Hess : Don't touch him. Merrill : Graham... Graham Hess : Don't... Don't. Morgan : Dad? What happened? Did someone save me? [Graham starts crying] Graham Hess : Yeah, baby, I think someone did. Graham Hess : Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something. Graham Hess : I can't be sure, but I got the distinct feeling that it wanted to harm me. Tracy Abernathy : I swore 37 times in the last month. I said the 'f-word' a couple of times, but it was mostly 'shit's and 'bastard's. Is 'douche bag' a curse? Graham Hess : I suppose it would depend on the context. Tracy Abernathy : How about "John you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara"? Graham Hess : It's a curse. Tracy Abernathy : Oh, well then it's not 37 times it's 71 times. Graham Hess : I don't want any of you spending time with Tracy Abernathy alone. Understand? [Upon discovering there is no longer a signal on the baby monitor] Merrill : Good enough for me. Graham Hess : Me too. Graham Hess : There is no one looking out for us. We are all alone. Graham Hess : I cursed. Merrill : I heard. Graham Hess : C'mon, now, you're too old to be doing this. What's wrong with this glass of water? Bo : It's got dust in it. Graham Hess : And this one? Bo : A hair. Graham Hess : And this one? Bo : Morgan took a sip and it's got his amoebas in it. Graham Hess : See this is why we're not watching TV, people become obsessed. Graham Hess : That's ridiculous. How can anyone possibly know that information? What else does it say? Graham Hess : Caroline. I don't want you calling me 'Father' anymore. Officer Caroline : What's wrong? Graham Hess : I don't hear my children. Graham Hess : You're wasting your time here. I'm not going to report this or anything you do to my crops to the police or news or anybody. You're not going to get famous. Graham Hess : What are you thinking about? Bo : Why do you talk to Mom when your by yourself? Graham Hess : Makes me feel better. Bo : Does she ever answer back? Graham Hess : No. Bo : She never answers me either. Graham Hess : We're going to board up every window in this house. Merrill : How do you know boards will do anything? Graham Hess : Because they seem to have trouble with pantry doors. Graham Hess : My vote counts as two. Morgan : That's bullshit. You're cheating. Graham Hess : Morgan, calm down. Morgan : We don't know anything yet... Graham Hess : The police are here. I am with them. I am a police officer. I just want to talk with you. We know all about the hoax. We already took some of your friends downtown in a paddy wagon. Just tell us your name and why you did it, and we'll give you the same deal we gave the others. Don't throw your life away, son. Morgan : They said there are one of two outcomes of an invasion. One: they fight, and are defeated, and have to return again with full forces hundreds or even thousands of years later. Graham Hess : What's two? Morgan : They win. Morgan : If you're gonna make fun of it, then forget it. Bo : This is serious. Graham Hess : I don't know what got into me. Morgan : There are pictures. Dr. Bimbu, one of the authors of the book... Morgan : Bimbu? Morgan : Dad! Graham Hess : I just asked his name. Morgan : You had a tone. Morgan : Maybe we should say a prayer. Graham Hess : No. Morgan : Why not? Graham Hess : We're not saying a prayer. Morgan : Bo has a bad feeling. Bo : I had a dream. Graham Hess : We aren't saying a prayer. Eat! Morgan : I hate you. Graham Hess : That's fine. Morgan : You let mom die. Merrill : Morgan... Graham Hess : I am not wasting one more minute of my life on prayer. Not one more minute. Understood? [Bo starts crying] Graham Hess : Now we are going to enjoy this meal. No one can stop us from enjoying this meal, so enjoy it! Stop crying! Merrill : Graham... Morgan : Don't yell at her! Graham Hess : All right, since you're all not going to eat, I'm going to try some of everything. [crying continues, and then everyone hugs] Merrill : For the kids protection. They were watching the tv from 5 am on. I didn't want them getting obsessed like you said. They should be outside playing furry furry rabbit or tea party or something. Graham Hess : What's furry furry rabbit? Merrill : It's a game isn't it? Movie Title: We Were Soldiers (2002) as Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : I can hear you laughing you know. Julie Moore : I'm not laughing, I'm marveling. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : At what? Julie Moore : That you can find stubbornness in your children and think it comes from anywhere but you... Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : They attack us; no casualties. They retreat into the mountains and, naturally, we follow them. Smell like an ambush to you? Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : I wonder what was going through Custer's mind when he realized that he'd led his men into a slaughter? Sergeant Major Basil Plumley : Sir, Custer was a pussy. You ain't. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : I'll never forgive myself. Joseph Galloway : For what, sir? Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : That my men... that my men died and I didn't. Joe Galloway : Sir, I don't know how to tell this story. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Well you have to, Joe. You tell the American people what happened here. You tell them how my troopers died. Joe Galloway : Yes sir. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Where you from, son? Joseph Galloway : Refugia, Texas, sir. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Well, that's the first thing I've heard today that makes any sense. Cecile Moore : Daddy, What's a war? Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Well a war is when people hurt other people, and people like daddy try to stop them. [Moore and Geoghegan a prayer before leaving for Vietnam] Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Our Father in Heaven, before we go into battle, every soldier among us will approach you each in his own way. Our enemies too, according to their own understanding, will ask for protection and for victory. And so, we bow before your infinite wisdom. We offer our prayers as best we can. I pray you watch over the young Jack Geoghegan. That I lead into battle. You use me as your instrument in this awful hell of war to watch over them. Especially if they're men like this one beside me, deserving of a future in your blessing and goodwill. Amen. 2nd Lieutenant Jack Geoghegan : Amen. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Oh, yes, and one more thing, dear Lord, about our enemies, ignore their heathen prayers and help us blow those little bastards straight to Hell. Amen. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together. [On the radio] Colonel Tim Brown : Colonel, what's the situation down there? [Colonel Moore spins around and shoots a Vietnamese soldier that was just about to stab him] Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : It's getting pretty sporty down here, sir! [after Ouellette takes a prisoner just after landing in Ia Drang] Mr. Nik : [translating] He say he deserter. Sergeant Major Basil Plumley : Bullshit, he's a lookout. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Ask him where his friends are. [Mr. Nik asks in Vietnamese] Mr. Nik : He say this is basecamp for whole division. 4,000 men. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Where? [Mr. Nik points to a nearby mountain] Mr. Nik : [still translating] Same army that destroyed French. They want to kill Americans very badly, but have not been able to find any yet. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : He died keeping my promise. Crandall : My men call me Snakeshit, sir. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Why do they call you that? Crandall : Because I fly "lower than snakeshit," sir. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Nothing's wrong except there's nothing wrong! Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Broken Arrow! Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Pass this along; tell your men to fire three shots at anything that looks suspicious, on my order. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : So what do you think of these new M-16's? Sergeant Major Basil Plumley : Too much goddamn plastic in it. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Not gonna use it, then? Sergeant Major Basil Plumley : I'm afraid that when we get in there, there'll be plenty on the ground. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Yeah. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : I got a problem, Snake Shit, and I think you're the solution. Maj. Bruce Crandall : I've been called a lot of things, Colonel, never a solution. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : You know what Air Cavalry really means? You fly into hostile territory, outnumbered, 10,000 miles from home. Sometimes the battleground is no bigger than a football field, and if the choppers stop coming, we all get slaughtered. Now, I figure chopper pilots won't fly into Hell for strangers, so, I'm Hal Moore. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : You got a death wish, Galloway? Joe Galloway : No, sir. Lt. Colonel Hal Moore : Then why are you here? Joe Galloway : Cause I knew these dead boys would be here, sir. Movie Title: Payback (1999) as Porter: Porter : [voiceover] Crooked cops. Do they come in any other way? If I'd been just a little dumber, I could have joined the force myself. Pearl : [seductively] I've got a few minutes. Porter : So go boil an egg. Porter : [voiceover] Not many people know what their life's worth is. I do. Seventy grand. That's what they took from me. And that's what I was going to get back. Porter : We went for breakfast... in Canada. We made a deal; if she'd stop hookin', I'd stop shooting people. [pause] Porter : Maybe we were aiming high. [Porter has just threatened to kill Carter while talking to Bronson on the phone] Bronson : Are you threatening me? Porter : I'm not threatening you, I'm threatening Carter. Bronson : [answering phone] What the hell's going on? Porter : You were right not to trust me. [Bomb, planted earlier by Bronson's Outfit, is triggered by answering the phone and explodes] [after Porter shoots Val in the leg and puts a cigarette in his mouth] Porter : You got a light? Val Resnick : What? Porter : You got a light? Val Resnick : No. Porter : Then what good are you? [Porter shoots Resnick in the face] Porter : Who makes the decisions? Carter : Well, a committee would make the decision in this case... Porter : One man... you go high enough you always come to one man... who? Val Resnick : Beauty of the Chows is that they won't go to the cops. They keep everything in house... and, they don't feel pain the way we do. Porter : You notice anything about those guys Val? Resnick: They look nasty... probably all Kung Fu-motherfuckers. Why, did I miss something? Porter : They weren't wearing their seatbelts. Porter : [voiceover] You'd think after five months of lying on my back, I would have given up any idea of getting even, just be a nice guy and call it a day. Nice guys are fine: you have to have somebody to take advantage of... but they always finish last. [first lines] Porter : [voiceover] GSW: that's what the hospitals call it: gunshot wound. Doctor has to report it to the police. That makes it hard for guys in my line to get what I call, quality health care. Porter : [voiceover] Nobody likes a monkey on his back: I had three, and they were cramping my style. I was gonna' have to lighten the load. Porter : You said it: they're not going to stop until they bury us... Rosie : So?... Porter : So we bury them first. Rosie : If I know you, Porter, you want this guy Resnick for something he won't like. Porter : Yeah. I'm g'na kill 'm. Rosie : That's something he won't like. Rosie : Meet the nastiest damn dog who ever lived. Porter : What's 's name? Rosie : "Porter". He took your job after you left. He's just as tough but he won't leave me. [nuzzling the dog] Rosie : Will you, baby? Fairfax : What are you doing this for, man? Is it the principal of the thing? Porter : Stop it, I'm getting misty. [starts to walk out] Porter : And tell him it's $70,000! Fairfax : $70,000? Hell, my suits are worth more than that! Movie Title: Pocahontas (1995) as John Smith / John: John Smith : I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you. John : But I can't leave you. Pocahontas : You never will. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you... forever. John Smith : We've improved the lives of savages all over the world. Pocahontas : SAVAGES! John Smith : Not that YOU'RE a savage. Pocahontas : Just my people! John Smith : No wait! Savages... is just a word... that we use for people who are uncivilized. Pocahontas : Like me? John Smith : No, what I mean is... Pocahontas : What you mean is... not like you. John Smith : Is this bottomless pit a friend of yours? John Smith : Come with me. Pocahontas : I'm needed here. John Smith : It's a handshake, here let me show you. [Holds out hand] Pocahontas : Nothing's happening. John Smith : No I need your hand. [They shake hands] John Smith : It's how we say "hello". John Smith : Pocahontas... that tree is talking to me. Pocahontas : Then you should talk back. Say something. John Smith : What do you say to a tree? Movie Title: The Simpsons (1989) as Mel Gibson: Mel Gibson : John Travolta flew me over in his jet. Now I have to help him move next weekend. He deliberately waited until we were in the air to ask me. Mel Gibson : I'm too old for this. Homer : How old are you, anyway? Mel Gibson : Well, I'm told I can play anyone from 28 to... Homer : Sorry I asked. Mel Gibson : Come with me to Hollywood. Homer : You had me at "hello". Mel Gibson : I didn't say hello. Movie Title: Chicken Run (2000) as Rocky: Rocky : Now, the most important thing is, we have to work as a team, which means: you do everything I tell you. Rocky : The name's Rocky. Rocky the Rhode Island Red. Rhodes for short. Bunty : Rocky Rhodes? Rocky : Catchy, ain't it? Rocky : You see, flying takes three things: Hard work, perseverance and... hard work. Fowler : You said "hard work" twice. Rocky : That's because it takes twice as much work as perseverance. Ginger : I should turn you in right now. Rocky : You wouldn't... would you? Ginger : Give me one reason why I shouldn't. Rocky : Because I'm... cute? Rocky : What's eating Grandpa? [after being asked where he's from] Rocky : Oh, just a little place I call the land of the free and the home of the brave... Mac : Scotland! Rocky : No! America. Rocky : [Presenting himself] You see, I'm a traveller by nature. I did that whole barnyard thing for a while but I couldn't really get into it. [to one of the chickens] Rocky : Hi, how are you? [she swoons and faints, Rocky continues] Rocky : Nope! The open road, that's more my style. Yep, just give me a pack on my back and point me where the wind blows. In fact, you know what they call me back home? You're gonna love this: The Lone Free Ranger. [Rocky and Ginger are in an oven] Rocky : It's like an oven in here. Rocky : [to Ginger after being put against the wall] You know, you're the first chick I ever met with the shell still on. [Fowler is forced to share his bunk with Rocky] Fowler : Absolutely outrageous! Asking a senior officer to share his quarters and with a noncommissioned Yank, no less. Why, back in my day, I'd never... Rocky : Hey! You weren't exactly *my* first choice, either. And scoot over. Your wing's on my side of the bunk. Fowler : *Your* side of the bunk? The *whole bunk* is my side of the bunk! Rocky : [snapping back] Just... What's that smell? Is that your breath? Fowler : It's absolutely outrageous. Rocky : Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You wanna get every chicken in this place out of here *at the same time*? Ginger : Of course. Rocky : You're certifiable! You can't pull of a stunt like that. That's suicide. Ginger : Where there's a will, there's a way. Rocky : Couldn't agree more. And I *will* be leaving *that* way. [escaping from circus, after being shot out of a cannon] Rocky : FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM. Rocky : [lands in dough] D'oh. Get it? Dough! Ginger : I'm stuck! [Ginger falls down a hole] Rocky : Oh, shoot! Ginger : [falling] Rocky! Rocky : I'll be down before you can say... [spots something about to be dumped on him] Rocky : ..."mixed vegetables"! [encouraging after a failed day of "flying"] Rocky : Ducky, I think you flew four feet today! Nick : Right, four feet! From the roof to the ground. Rocky : Ouch! What happened to my wing? Ginger : You took a rather nasty fall. Mac : [very fast, in scottish] And sprained the anterior tendon connecting your radius to your humerus. I gave her a wee bit of a tweak, Jimmy, and wrapped her up. Rocky : Was that English? Rocky : Liste. Shh. You hear that? [silence] Rocky : That's the open road calling my name, and I was born to answer that call. Bye. [he leaves] Babs : He must have very good hearing. [Rocky is about to be found by the circus] Ginger : [black-mailing him] Teach us to fly and we'll hide you. Rocky : And if I don't? [Ginger pulls breath to squawk] Rocky : [stops her] Was your father by any chance a vulture? Rocky : Careful, Pops. Cockfighting is illegal where I come from. Rocky : ...So the pig turns to the horse and says, "Hey, buddy. Why the long face?" Hen: And what brings you to England, Mr Rhodes? Rocky : Why, all the beautiful english chicks, of course. [angry at Ginger] Rocky : Listen! I've met som hard-boiled eggs in my day, but I'd say you're about 20 minutes! Rocky : Is there a problem here? Ginger : [rethorically] Have we flown over that fence? Rocky : Not quite. Ginger : Then there's a problem. Movie Title: Ransom (1996) as Tom Mullen: Tom Mullen : You kill him, you kill yourself, you motherfucker! GIVE ME BACK MY SON! [on live TV] Tom Mullen : The whole world now knows, my son Sean Mullen was kidnapped for ransom three days ago. This is a recent photograph of him. Sean, if you're watching, we love you. And this - well, this is what waits for the man that took him. This is your ransom, $2,000,000 in unmarked bills, just like you wanted. But this is as close as you'll ever get to it. You'll never see one dollar of this money, because no ransom will ever be paid for my son. Not one dime, not one penny. Instead, I'm offering this money as a reward on your head - dead or alive, it doesn't matter. So congratulations, you've just become a $2,000,000 lottery ticket... except the odds are much, much better. Do you know anyone that wouldn't turn you in for $2,000,000? God be with you because no one else on this Earth will be. Tom Mullen : My son is dead, go to hell! Sean Mullen : It seems like lately, everyone's mad at you. Tom Mullen : What the? Is that the way it seems... you're not mad at me are you?" [Sean shakes his head] Tom Mullen : Well I can, I can fix that! [Tom tickles Sean] Tom Mullen : Look, what do I have to do to get my boy back? Detective Jimmy Shaker : You got the money? Tom Mullen : Yes, of course. Detective Jimmy Shaker : Then it shouldn't be a problem. Tom Mullen : Well, this is one hell of a deposit you got here, Jimmy. Detective Jimmy Shaker : Shouldn't be a problem. Movie Title: What Women Want (2000) as Nick Marshall: Nick Marshall : What's the difference between a wife and a job? After 10 years a job still sucks. Nick Marshall : There's way too much estrogen on television these days. Nick Marshall : I can see elegant parties... Darcy McGuire : You can see all that? Nick Marshall : Well, maybe you're naked and I'm the only guest, but it's still elegant. Nick Marshall : It's never too late to do the right thing. That's what I'll do, I'll go over there and do the right thing. Nick Marshall : Have you ever done that, taken the wrong road? Of course not, you wouldn't do that, somebody like me does that. Darcy McGuire : You wore control-top pantyhose? Nick Marshall : Did you put a pair in the pink box? Darcy McGuire : [laughs] And how did you look in them? Nick Marshall : Hot. [looking distractedly in refrigerator] Nick Marshall : What am I doing? She's not in the refrigerator. Darcy McGuire : [to Nick Marshall as he leaves] That's it? Nick Marshall : I don't want that to be it. I don't want that to be it at all. Darcy McGuire : Then don't let a little thing like me firing you stand in your way. Nick Marshall : [to Darcy] He made you feel the price you pay just for being you is that you don't get to have love. Nick Marshall : I realize I haven't been the perfect dad. Alex : Understatement of the century. [waxing] Nick Marshall : Oh... This is nice, I don't understand why women complain about waxing. [to Morgan Farwell] Nick Marshall : She thinks you're overpaid... and gay. Nick Marshall : Women are crazy! Who would want to do that again? Nick Marshall : [Singing along to music] I'm a bitch, I'm a mother, I'm her brother, It's a charmer as I volumize my hair, I am not aware. [puts on pantyhose on one leg] Nick Marshall : One down, two to go. He he. Nick Marshall : Buns of steel... I'd steal her buns if I could. |
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