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 Rick Ducommun QuotationMovie Title: Blank Check (1994) as Henry: Henry : Get yourself some flowers, good clothes, good food, a car, and learn how to use words like 'non-commiddle', and you are a date and a half, Man. Henry : You wanna move that horse? What is this? Bonanza? Henry : Preston Waters, you know what you've got? S-T-Y-L-E. Preston Waters, Henry : Style! Shay Stanley : I'm a little out of shape. Henry : Not from where I'm sitting you're not. Henry : You know what they say about gold. Preston Waters : He who has the gold makes the rules? Henry : No, no, no, no, no, no. A fool and his gold are soon parted. Preston Waters : What does that mean? Henry : I don't know. It's an old saying, Man. Like, there's more than one way to skin a cat, you hear that one? Who skins cats? Why would you skin a cat? And there is not more than one way to skin a cat, there is only one way! You grab the cat and rip the skin off. What's a number two way? Do you put a hose up the cat's butt and he get's so bloated that he skins himself? Does he have a piece of velcro under his butt there, we just unvelcro him? No. Henry : Kill two birds with one stone, you heard that one? You know anybody who's actually killed one bird with one stone? Kids try it all the time, you can't hit a bird with a stone, unless you have a giant rock and a little baby bird. Well anyway, a fool and his gold are soon parted. I guess that means that if you're a fool and soon your gold is gone and once it's gone, it's outta there, it's dust, it's vapor, it is no more, you are living in Brokesville. Unless you have Macintosh's kind of money. Preston Waters : What if you don't? Henry : Then, I guess you find out who your real friends are. [looking over the dinner table at Mr. Macintosh's party] Preston Waters : There was supposed to be ice cream and pizza. What's going on? Henry : This could've been a pizza, ya know, before it was run over by a couple trucks. Henry : I'm waiting for a client. Preston Waters : But I'm your client. Henry : Right, yeah, and I'm Madonna. Sorry, Kid, the boss doesn't like me taking baseball cards as payment so if you wanna ride in this here limo you need some buckeroos, buckerinis, some mooler, some deniro, some frog skins, much similar to the money... In fact identical to the money you've given me now. I was just kidding about being Madonna. The name's Henry. Movie Title: The 'burbs (1989) as Art Wiengartner / Art: Art : Hey, hey, hey. Who the heck ordered the blood shake? Hey, Ray, it's not Skip. It's Art. I'm just pretending to be Skip. Say, you didn't happen to see an ice pick around here, did you? Art : I want to kill everyone, Satan is good, Satan is our pal. Ray Peterson : [chanting] I'm not going to listen to this, I'm not going to here this now. Art : Ray! Ray! Your chanting! [points to book] Art : Ray, unconscious chanting... your chanting! Ray Peterson : [continues Chanting with fingers in ears] Art : [chants] I want to kill everyone. Satan is good. Satan is our pal. Art : Hey, once they get in here, [points to Ray's head] Art : its over pal. Art : In Southeast Asia we'd call this kind of thing bad karma. Art : Being that their last house only... burned to the ground. Ray Peterson : Yeah? Art : Yeah a hideous raging inferno. Art : Now they know that we know that they know that we know. Art : I'm tellin' ya, officer, there's a body buried in that house. Detective: The old guy, Mr. Seznick right? Art : Yeah the old guy who's sitting here is buried in that house. Art : Safety is my middle name. Ray Peterson : I thought his middle name was Lewis. Art : I think the message to, uh, psychos, fanatics, murderers, nutcases all over the world is, uh, "do not mess with suburbanites". Because, uh, frankly we're just not gonna take it any more. Ya know, we're not gonna be content to look after our lawns and wax our cars, paint out houses. We're out to get them, Don, we are out to get them. Art : Smells like their cooking a god damned cat over there. Art : Art. Bonnie Rumsfield : Your Wife is Home. Mark Rumsfield : And your house is on fire. Art : My wife is home? Art : Garbies. Wait. What are you doing? Garbageman: Emptying garbage. Art : Into the garbage truck? Are you out of your mind? Carol Peterson : Ray isn't coming out of his room until he resembles the man I married. Art : We don't have that kind of time, Carol. Art Wiengartner : I can see the news report now - they were a quiet family, kept pretty much to themselves. No one ever would have suspected them of foul play. Art Wiengartner : If I had been on that plane it WOULD have crashed. Art Wiengartner : I'm telling you these people are Satanists. As I sit here, they are satanists. Look, look, the world is full of these kind of things - black masses, mutilations. Mutilations. The incubus, the succubus - I'm tellin' you, Walter was a human sacrifice. Ray Peterson : [mumbling] aw, oh I should have gone to the lake, I shoulda listened to Carol... Art Wiengartner : Listen to your wife? Who listens to their wife? Listen, you gotta listen to me. Art Wiengartner : Ray, do you want 'em to take your family, tear their livers out and make some kind of satanic pâté? [Art and Ricky are sitting on the porch when Ray comes out] Art : He comes out here every night to smoke cigars, his wife doesn't know he does this he doesn't know I know... Hi Ray! Movie Title: Scary Movie (2000) as Cindy's Dad: Cindy's Dad : I thought I heard screaming in here! Cindy Campbell : No, no daddy. Cindy's Dad : No, Maybe it could have been the crack I smoked earlier. Cindy Campbell : Someone murdered my friends! Cindy's Dad : Yeah! And the sick bastard planted drugs all over the house! Movie Title: Groundhog Day (1993) as Gus: [Phil Connors drives (because Ralph and Gus are drunk) right through a mailbox] Gus : Hey Phil, if we wanted to hit mailboxes we could let Ralph drive. Phil : It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room.", "Stand up straight.", "Pick up your feet.", "Take it like a man.", "Be nice to your sister.", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever.". Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad track." Gus : Eh, Phil. That's one I happen to agree with. |
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