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 Simon Rex QuotationMovie Title: Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth (2000) as Slab: Barbara : What are you doing here anyway, Doughey? You're not a real cop. Shouldn't you be guarding the Orange Julius? Boner : [fake coughing] N.Y.Kiddy.GAP! Slab : [fake coughing] Sergeant Sears! Barbara : [fake coughing] Food court police! Dawson : After all, it is Halloween. Slab : And Friday the 13th! Dawson : On the same day? Impossible. Boner : Slab's dyslexic. Dawson : You know what we've gotta do? We've gotta get out of here! Boner : To someplace safe. Martina : Yeah, in the middle of nowhere. Slab : In the dark woods and pouring rain. Dawson : Without any adult supervision or police protection anywhere in the vicinity. Barbara : I know just the place! It's been totally deserted ever since those dorky kids were dismembered. Boner : Are you talking about band camp? Boner : Roofies are bull, I take them before every date and I never get laid Slab : maybe you aren't taking enough Dawson : This is the kinda thing you read about Slab : Books are pretty Barbara : O My God. He is right. Barbara : A kid couldn't right that, at least not a kid in public school. Martina : Unless he was Japanese. Boner : But they aren't historically serial killers. Slab : What about Godzilla. Boner : Born in international waters. Movie Title: Scary Movie 3 (2003) as George: George : I have a dream. Tom : What is your dream? George : To have a dream. Cindy Campbell : Something weird is going on at your farm. I know it. George : I don't know what you're talking about. Sometimes a sheep just needs to be pushed through the fence. George : Now everybody in the 202, throw your hands in the air 'cause Fat Joe is through / Now everybody in the 202, throw 'em up! Check it out / I'm a white boy, but my neck is red / I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread / My face is pale, nah, I've never been in jail / Me and Buffy spend every winter at Vail / How many bitches have I slapped? Zero. Unh! / And Martha Stewart happens to be my hero / I grew up on a farm and I was born with no rhythm / Dr. Phil's my uncle and I like to hang with him / I can't dance / I wear khaki pants / My middle name's Lance / My Grandma's from France / So maybe I'm wack / 'Cause my skin ain't black / But you can't talk smack / 'Cause whitey just struck back George : You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here [puts hand up in the air] George : and start livin' down here? [puts hand down low] Mahalik : Or what if we stop livin' over here [puts his hand out to the side] Mahalik : and start livin' over there? [puts his hand to the other side] CJ : Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though. Mahalik : For what? CJ : Mice. Mahalik : I thought she had rats? CJ : No, rate are out side, mice are inside. Mahalik : But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse? CJ : I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'. Mahalik : That's because it's a rat, fool! CJ : Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha! George : Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything... George : Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead. Tom : Oh. I better tell her. George : No, no, no. I can do it. Sue? Sue : Yes? George : You know your teacher, Miss Brenda? Sue : Yeah. George : She's dead! Sue : Aah! George : Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog! Sue : My dog's dead? George : I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying! George : [at Brenda's funeral] Sue wanted to pay respects to her teacher. You? Cindy Campbell : Brenda was my bitch. Cindy : I can't belive you let that happen. George : I know, I'm sorry. I screwed up. Cindy : Listen, we can still save him. The answer to the tape, to your crop circles, is at a lighthouse. Oh, you think I'm crazy, don't you? George : Of course I do. George : So, I'll be doing the rap battle at the 23 Club tomorrow night. Brenda Meeks : Oh, I don't believe this shit. George : Word! You two should come down! I'll be rappin', I'll be cappin', I'll be tappin', I'll be flappin', I'll be happen... ing. Ding, bing, wing. Yo! Cindy Campbell : Sounds good! George : Would, could, should, 'hood. Brenda Meeks : Ugh! George : Gug, mug, dug, bug. Movie Title: Jack & Jill (1999) as Mikey: Elisa : Is that his new girlfriend? Mikey : No. Don't say that. It's not his new girlfriend, okay? She's more of a casual, let's-hope-she-goes-away-soon type o' gal. Mikey : How about - "We did it on the floor, we did it by the door, so if you don't mind tonight, let's do it some more?" Barto : He's like an X-rated Dr. Seuss. |
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