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 Frank Oz QuotationMovie Title: Muppet*vision 3-D (1991) as Fozzie Bear / Sam the Eagle: Kermit the Frog : We will also see a rousing finale from Sam the Eagle. What's it called, Sam? Sam the Eagle : It's called "A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America". Kermit the Frog : Sam, are you ready with that finale? Sam the Eagle : It's a glorious three-hour finale! Kermit the Frog : You got a minute and a half. Sam the Eagle : Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is my honor to present to you... Mr. Mickey Mouse! Rizzo the Rat : [singing to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club March] Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! Hiya, hiya, hiya! Sam the Eagle : Hey, you're not Mickey Mouse! You're a rat! Rizzo the Rat : Rat, schmat! They're tourists! What do they know? [a banana cream pie comes flying out of the screen] Kermit the Frog : What is that? Fozzie Bear : Isn't it great? It's my new remote-controlled banana cream pie. Kermit the Frog : Oh, what does that button do? [Fozzie tries to press the button but the remote control breaks causing the pie to spin and end up on Fozzie's face] Kermit the Frog : Oh, Fozzie, that's terrible! Fozzie Bear : [tasting it] Yeah, you're right... needs more sugar. Movie Title: The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) as Fozziwig / Sam the Eagle / Miss Piggy / Sam Eagle: Fozziwig : At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech. Robert Marley : And it is a tradition for us to take a little nap. Fozziwig : Here is my Christmas speech. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas." Robert Marley : That was the speech? Jacob Marley : It was dumb. Robert Marley : It was obvious. Jacob Marley : It was pointless. Robert Marley : It was... short. Jacob Marley , Robert Marley : I loved it. Sam Eagle : Oh, you will love business. It is the American Way. Gonzo : Uh, Sam [whispers] Sam Eagle : Oh. It is the BRITISH way. [The schoolroom shelf has collapsed] Sam the Eagle : I've been meaning to fix that shelf. [Scrooge has arrived at the Crachit house, to find his clerk's family celebrating Christmas Day] Ebenezer Scrooge : I've had my fill of this. Miss Piggy : And I have had my fill of you, sir. Ebenezer Scrooge : I intend to raise your salary. Miss Piggy : And I intend to raise you right off the pavement. Movie Title: Monsters, Inc. (2001) as Fungus: Mike : Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car. Fungus : I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot. Movie Title: Spies Like Us (1985) as Test Monitor: Russian interrogator: Every minute you don't tell us why you are here I cut off a finger. Emmett Fitz-Hume : Mine or yours? Russian interrogator: Yours. Emmett Fitz-Hume : Damn! Emmett Fitz-Hume : Oh. Uh, will you hold my wallet for me while I take the test please? There is a thousand dollars in there or maybe there isn't. Know what I mean? Test Monitor : Are you saying I can take this money if I help you pass the test? Emmett Fitz-Hume : What do you think? Movie Title: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) as Yoda: Yoda : Hard to see, the dark side is. Yoda : Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you. Yoda : Always two there are, no more no less. A master and an apprentice. Mace Windu : But which was destroyed, the master or the apprentice? Movie Title: Muppet Treasure Island (1996) as Squire Trelawney / Benjamina Gunn / Statler / Mr. Samuel Erroll / Animal: Statler : "Take a cruise," you said. "See the world," you said. Now here we are, stuck on the front of this stupid ship. Waldorf : Well, it could be worse. We could be stuck in the audience. Zoot : I'm confused. Are we with the pirates or with the frog captain? Floyd : Just play the gig, man. Never get involved in politics. Animal : Politics! Politics! Benjamina Gunn : You left me standing at the altar. Captain Abraham Smollett : I was on a ship headed for Zanzibar. I got cold feet. Benjamina Gunn : You're a frog. You're supposed to have cold feet. Benjamina Gunn : All right. No more Ms. Nice Guy. Captain Abraham Smollett : Who hired this crew? This is undoubtedly the seediest bunch of cutthroats, villains and scoundrels I have ever seen, so who hired them? [Everyone points at Young Squire Trelawney, who in turn points at his finger] Captain Abraham Smollett : Your finger hired the crew? Squire Trelawney : No, that's silly. The man who *lives* in my finger hired the crew. Benjamina Gunn : You can't hurt my frog. Mr. Samuel Erroll : That will be 40 lashes and then you walk the plank. Captain Abraham Smollett : I didn't say that, Mr. Arrow. Mr. Samuel Erroll : I was anticipating your whim, Sir. Jim Hawkins : Kill Captain Smollett, and you'll have to kill me. Gonzo : Kill Jim, and you'll have to kill me. Squire Trelawney : Kill Gonzo, and you'll have to kill me. Rizzo : Kill Squire Trelawney and Mr. Bimbo, and you'll have to... negotiate strenuously. Benjamina Gunn : Going somewhere, John-John? Long John Silver : Well, Master Hawkins, it seems that your little family has come together against me. Statler : Waldorf, you old fool! We're heroes! We saved the pig and the frog. Waldorf : Well, it was too late to save the movie. Squire Trelawney : Gentlemen, this is a genuine bona-fide treasure map. Jim Hawkins : Really? Squire Trelawney : Oh, yes. Mr. Bimbo told me so. [pause] Squire Trelawney : Oh, Mr. Bimbo is the man who lives inside my finger. He is very smart. He's been to the moon. [puts finger to his ear] Squire Trelawney : Oh... twice. Rizzo : I smell a bozo. Mr. Samuel Erroll : Boogie, boogie, boogie. I am the ghost of Samuel Arrow. Boogie! Benjamina Gunn : Smollett. Is that really you? Captain Abraham Smollett : Benjamina? Benjamina Gunn : Hi-yah! [Karate chops Smollett, sends him flying into the gong] Captain Abraham Smollett : [to the gong ringer] Old girlfriend. Movie Title: The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984) as Piggy / Fozzie Bear / Miss Piggy: [On seeing Beth] Fozzie Bear : Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know this cave was co-ed. Piggy : I spy because I care! Kermit : Well I care, too! Piggy : Well why don't you say so? Kermit : I JUST DID! Piggy : ALL RIGHT! [They start screaming, then try to catch their breath] Gregory Hines : Keep the skates. Keep the skates. I don't use 'm anyway. Just like to run around in shorts. [Gonzo uses mouth-to-mouth resuicitation on his chicken] Miss Piggy : Gonzo, is Camilla all right? Gonzo : Yeah, but I think we're engaged! Miss Piggy : Oh, dear Lord! Not jogging! [after having Beth snuggle up to him] Fozzie Bear : K-k-kermit... Movie Title: The Muppet Show (1976) as Sam the American Eagle / Miss Piggy / Fozzie / Animal: Lou Rawls : Animal you know, you play the drums so good, I mean you take the sticks and you really lay down some great percussion! Animal : Percussion! Wha! Floyd : Uh, Lou, you sort of have to consider Animal as your basic primitive man. You have to know how to talk to him. Lou Rawls : Oh yeah? Well how to do tell a guy like that that his work with the sticks is DOWN? He can really put some soul in the bowl, you know what I'm saying? Floyd : Oh yeah, well that's easy. Animal! Good drummer! Animal : Good drummer, good drummer, good drummer. [Animal rubs up against Floyd like a cat] Lou Rawls : Well let me ask you this: you see I've got this long road trip coming up, and I'm short a drummer. You think he'd be interested? Floyd : Oh no, you couldn't take Animal on any long road trips, Lou. Lou Rawls : Why not, man? The cat's good. Floyd : Aw, you couldn't get a long enough chain! Animal : Chain! Chain! [Animal chews on his chain] Lou Rawls : Come on, Floyd. Just let me discuss it with him man to man, okay? Floyd : Man to man? This dude don't know Animal! Okay Lou, there's his chain, but let me ask just one favor. Lou Rawls : Yeah baby? Floyd : Don't let him chase any cars. Lou Rawls : Don't let him chase any CARS? Animal : Car! [Animal chases after the car, dragging Lou with him] Gonzo : As long as I'm here, I'd like to donate my body to science. Rowlf : With your body it would be donated to science fiction. Janice : To donate your body, don't you have to be dead? Gonzo : So what? I believe in re-incarnation. Miss Piggy : What would you come back as next time? Gonzo : How should I know. I don't even know what I am this time. Kermit : Fozzie, what are you doing with this typewriter on my table? Fozzie : Kermit, I am writing the script for this week's show! Kermit : What makes you think the show needs a script? Fozzie : Oh, come on Kermit! Every show has a script! Yeah, that way you leave nothing to chance! [Rowlf and Lew Zealand enter, about to go on stage for the Musical Moment] Fozzie : Hey guys! Guys! This is the Musical Moment for this week. Rowlf : [reading] "Curtains open. Rowlf and Lew Zealand do something funny. Curtains close." [Rowlf and Lew Zealand exit for the stage] Fozzie : [calling after them] Go get 'em! Kermit : You leave nothing to chance, huh? Fozzie : Trust me. [A telephone is the Veterinarians Hospital patient] Rowlf : What's wrong with it? Miss Piggy : It's not working. Rowlf : Well, tell it to get a job so it can pay me. Janice : Maybe it's a PAY phone. Miss Piggy : Holy Guacamole! This looks like a job for Wonder Pig. Lynda Carter : Wonder Pig? Robot Kermit: Hey, listen you, how about you and me getting together and makin ' some ste-e-e-am heat. Huh, snuggle bunny? Miss Piggy : Snuggle bunny? Why, uh... Robot Kermit: Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Aaah, a marriage made in heaven. A frog and a pig. We can have bouncing baby figs. Miss Piggy : [as Nurse Piggy] It's too late, Doctor Bob. We've lost him. Rowlf : [as Doctor Bob] Well, he couldn't have gone far. He was under the sheet just a second ago. Fozzie : Kermit. Kermit. This time I have really got it. I have re-mastered the art of handling hecklers. Kermit : Oh you think so huh? Fozzie : Oh I know so. I know so. Kermit : Ok, I tell you what - you tell a joke and I will heckle you. Fozzie : Great. Kermit : But Fozzie - I expect a great comeback. Fozzie : Right. [clears throat] Fozzie : Ahh, my cousin's so dumb he thinks Eggs Benedict's a mafia gangster. Kermit : I've seen cheeseburgers funnier then that. [Fozzie pounds Kermit with a rubber chicken] Fozzie : What do you think, huh? Too subtle? [Buddy Rich runs into Dr. Teeth, leading Animal on a chain leash. Rich and Animal have agreed to a drum battle] Buddy Rich : He looks like a sore loser. Dr. Teeth: Yeah, well, if this chain breaks, you're gonna be a SORE WINNER. Animal... are you ready? Animal : [waking up and seeing Buddy] KILL! KILL! Buddy Rich : Yup, he's ready! Sam the American Eagle : Ah, Beethoven. He's my favorite playwright. [Miss Piggy mistook Gonzo's love letter on her dressing room door for a letter from Kermit] Gonzo : [singing] She kissed me... She put her arms around me and she kissed me... Miss Piggy : It was a CASE of mistaken identity! Gonzo : Oh, hug me Miss Piggy! HOLD me! Miss Piggy : I will not hug you, you... TWIT TURKEY! Gonzo : Hold my hand, pig of my dreams! Miss Piggy : Will you beat it, twerp? Gonzo : Just touch me, o hog of my heart! Miss Piggy : Here's a touch for ya, wimp buzzard! Gonzo : I'm ready! [She karate chops him and leaves] Gonzo : [singing] She touched me... She swung her porky pinky's and She touched me. Sam the American Eagle : Kermit, about this Elton John. Kermit : Yeah? Sam the American Eagle : I have seen some pretty WEIRD guests on this show, but this Elton John borders on the revolutionary! Kermit : Sam, Elton John is a very important musician. Sam the American Eagle : Then why does he dress like a stolen car? Miss Piggy : Kermit, do you notice that every time we have a beautiful girl on the show, you forget about me? Kermit : Uh, yeah well, we could have a seal act on the show, and might forget about you. Miss Piggy : He tries to desperately to hide his love for me. [Luke Skywalker and C-3PO, from the movie Star Wars, are making a guest appearance on the show "Pigs in Space"] Luke Skywalker : [pointing at Miss Piggy, who's dressed like Princess Leia] Look, it's the Princess! C-3PO : She doesn't look anything like the Princess! Miss Piggy : [sternly, to C-3PO] Watch it, hardware! Movie Title: The Great Muppet Caper (1981) as Sam the Eagle / Miss Piggy / Animal / Fozzie: Miss Piggy : You. It was you. Kermit was right. You're a phony. You're a PHONY. Yes, and you know what, you can't even sing. You were dubbed. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : I suggest we jump. Fozzie : Are you crazy? It must be 100 feet. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : I didn't say it was a good suggestion. Pops : Hey, how're you guys fixin' to pay? Kermit : What are our choices? Pops : A: Credit card; B: Cash; C: Sneak out in the middle of the night. Fozzie : We'll take C. Pops : Very popular choice. Fozzie : [about run-down hotel] If that's the Happiness Hotel, I'd hate to see what the sad one looks like. Fozzie : [reading crew member's name] Kermit, what does b.s.c stand for? Kermit : I don't know. Miss Piggy : What am I? Gluten for punishment? Kermit : We were wondering if you could recommend a nice hotel. Actually, a cheap hotel. British Gentleman : How cheap? Fozzie : Free. British Gentleman : That narrows the field a bit. [reading from his guide] British Gentleman : "Places where you can park your carcasses." Bus terminals, the river banks, the Happiness Hotel... Kermit : The Happiness Hotel? That sounds great. Gonzo : What's wrong with bus terminals? Fozzie : Please let Kermit go. If you hold him too long, you know you'll just get warts. Gonzo : Is that the Eiffel Tower? Fozzie : Yes. Kermit : No. Fozzie : No. Miss Piggy : [about Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem's playing] They don't have to play this loud. Kermit : That's okay, they don't mind. Fozzie : I guess this would be a bad time to ask for a raise? Nicky Holiday : Miss Piggy you're a very different looking woman. I'm so tired of the same type. Those tall thin creatures with the long legs, the... the aquiline noses, the teeth like pearls, soft skin... Miss Piggy : Yeah, well I can see where that might make you sick to your stomach. [Kermit, Fozzie and Gonzo are in cages on an airline flight] Fozzie : Kermit, I'm hungry. When do we get to eat? Kermit : Sorry Fozzie, they don't serve food in 9th class. Sam the Eagle : You are all - WEIRDOS. Prison Guard : Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy : What? Prison Guard : Your lawyer is here. Miss Piggy : Lawyer? I don't have a lawyer. Prison Guard : Sure you do. Little green guy. Miss Piggy : [short intake of breath] Kermie. Oh. No wonder he hasn't come by to see me. He had to finish law school. Kermit : What's wrong with the drummer? He looks a little crazed. Zoot : Oh, he's just upset about missing the Monet exhibit at the National Gallery. Animal : RENOIR. RENOIR. Beauregard : What's your room number? Kermit : What? Beauregard : What floor are you staying on? Fozzie : Oh. We're staying on the fourth floor. Beauregard : Oh, I'm sorry. I can only take you as far as the lobby. Movie Title: The Muppet Movie (1979) as Fozzie Bear / Miss Piggy / Fozzie: Fozzie Bear : I'm a professional. I've had three performances. Fozzie Bear : Oh, I'm so Nervous. If this movie's no good, I won't be able to live with myself. Dr. Bunson Honeydew : Well, then you'll have to get another apartment. Fozzie Bear : Ahh, a bear in his natural habitat - a Studebaker. [After the Electric Mayhem paint the Studebaker] Fozzie Bear : I don't know how to thank you guys. Kermit the Frog : I don't know WHY to thank you guys. Gonzo : I'm going to Bombay to break into show business. Fozzie Bear : You don't go to Bombay to break into show business. You go to Hollywood. Gonzo : Oh, sure, if you want to do it the EASY way. Kermit : How did you get a driver's license? Fozzie : I took a correspondence course. [Kermit and the Muppets arrive in Hollywood] Miss Piggy : Oh Kermie, isn't this wonderful. Looks like a dream come true. Kermit : Well don't count your tadpoles until they're hatched, I still have to audition you know. [Lew Lord's secretary closes the doors to his office] Lord's Secretary : And where do you think you're going? Kermit : Oh, hi there. Were here to audition for Lew Lord. Lord's Secretary : You just can't walk in off the street you know, especially with all these animals. Kermit : Animals? What are you talking about. [The muppets have indignant mutter] Lord's Secretary : This is a movie studio, not a zoo. Besides - [sneezes] Lord's Secretary : I'm allergic to animal hair. Now get along all of you. Kermit : Now wait a second. I may not be one of your famous frogs, but I deserve a chance and we are going to stay right here in this office until you let us in to see Lew Lord. Aren't we gang? Lord's Secretary : [on the phone] Security, this is Miss Casey. I want to report a... [The muppets shake off their fur with a fan while Lord's secretary has a allergy attack and finally opens the doors to Lord's office] [Professor Max Krassman has just put Kermit in the electric chair] Miss Piggy : [desperate] Please. Please. Not my frog please. Max Krassman : Say goodbye to your frog, miss. Miss Piggy : Why should I? Max Krassman : Because in 10 seconds, he won't know you from kosher bacon. Miss Piggy : [furious] That does it. Fozzie Bear : There was this sailor who was so fat! Sailor : How fat was he? [breaks bottle] Fozzie : Uh, he was so fat that everybody liked him and there was nothing funny about him at all. Kermit the Frog : Hey, Fozzie, turn left when you come to a fork in the road. Fozzie Bear : Turning left at a fork in the road. Turn left! [drives past a giant fork] Kermit the Frog : I don't believe that. Movie Title: A Muppet Family Christmas (1987) as Fozzie Bear / Bert / Miss Piggy / Animal: Snowman : Hey Fozzie. Fozzie Bear : Yes, Mr. Snowman? Snowman : Did you hear about the church that burned down? Statler , Waldorf : Holy smoke! [they cackle] Fozzie Bear : Ah, Christmas. The time for Santa Claus and his eight flying rein-bear. Snowman : That's reindeer. Fozzie Bear : No, that's SNOW, DARLING! Doc : How do you do, I'm Doc. Bert : Did you know that Doc starts with the letter "D?" Doc : Yes. Ernie : Yes! Yes starts with the letter "Y" Doc : True. Ernie : And true starts with the letter "T" Doc : What is all this? Bert : Where we come from, this is small talk. Fozzie Bear : Oh, how little you understand bears, Kermit. My mother loves surprises. Gonzo : Well, good, cuz she's in for a honey. Kermit : It's cold. Fozzie Bear : It is not cold. Snowman : [Entering the house] Can I come in and warm up? Fozzie Bear : Okay so it's cold. Doc : You promised me a nice quiet Christmas! Animal : Peace on Earth! Give Me Presents! Fozzie Bear : Are you ready to listen to me? Kermit : I'm all ears. Fozzie Bear : What does he mean he's all ears? Frogs don't even have ears! Moreen: Hi. I'm Moreen the Mink. Miss Piggy : What? Kermit : She said, "Hi. I'm Maureen the Mink." Miss Piggy : I HEARD HER! I HEARD HER! I HEARD HER! I HEARD HER! Mrs. Bear: I'm afraid we're running out of room. Two of you will have to sleep on hangers. Gonzo : What a fabulous idea! Animal : Love hanging! Love hanging! Floyd : That's the only way Animal ever sleeps, ma'am. Movie Title: Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) as Yoda: Yoda : Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless. Yoda : Stopped they must be; on this all depends. Only a fully-trained Jedi Knight, with the Force as his ally, will conquer Vader and his Emperor. Obi-Wan : Patience. Luke : And sacrifice Han and Leia? Yoda : If you honor what they fight for? Yes. Obi-Wan : If you choose to face Vader, you will do it alone. I cannot interfere. Luke : I understand. R2. Fire up the converters. Obi-Wan : Luke. Don't give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side. Yoda : Strong is Vader. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can. Luke : I will. And I'll return, I promise. [Luke has seen a vision of Han, Leia and Chewie being tortured in Cloud City] Luke : I saw a city in the clouds. They were in pain. Yoda : It is the future you see. Luke : Will they die? Yoda : Difficult to see. Always in motion is future. Luke : I've gotta go to them. Yoda : Decide you must what to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could but you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered. Yoda : You must unlearn what you have learned. Luke : I want my lamp back. I'm gonna need it to get out of this slimy mudhole. Yoda : Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is. [Luke can't levitate his X-Wing out of the bog] Luke : I can't. It's too big. Yoda : Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship. Yoda : I am wondering, why are you here? Luke : I'm looking for someone. Yoda : Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm? Luke : Right... Yoda : Help you I can. Yes, mmmm. Luke : I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior. Yoda : Ohhh. Great warrior. [laughs and shakes his head] Yoda : Wars not make one great. Luke : All right, I'll give it a try. Yoda : No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try. [Using the Force, Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog] Luke : I don't, I don't believe it. Yoda : That is why you fail. Luke : I don't know. I feel like... Yoda : Feel like what? [Luke whips around and pulls out his blaster in defense] Luke : Like we're being watched. Yoda : Away put your weapon. I mean you no harm. Yoda : Why wish you become Jedi? Luke : Mostly because of my father, I guess. Yoda : Ah, father. Powerful Jedi was he, powerful Jedi. Luke : How could you know my father? You don't even know who I am. I don't even know what I'm doing here. We're wasting our time. Yoda : Yes, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice. Luke : Vader... Is the dark side stronger? Yoda : No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive. Luke : But how am I to know the good side from the bad? Yoda : You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. Luke : I won't fail you. I'm not afraid. Yoda : You will be. You will be. [As Luke leaves before completing his training] Yoda : Told you I did. Reckless is he. Now, matters are worse. Obi-Wan : That boy was our last hope. Yoda : No. There is another. Luke : How far away is Yoda? Yoda : Not far. Yoda not far. Soon you will be with him. Yoda : Control, control. You must learn control. Luke : I feel death, cold. Yoda : The place, were the Dark Side lies, a domain of evil it is. In you must go. Luke : What's in there? Yoda : Only what you take with you. Yoda : I cannot train him. The boy has no patience. Obi-Wan : He will learn patience. Yoda : Much anger in him. Like his father. Yoda : Your weapons, you will not need them. Luke : But tell me why I can't ... Yoda : No, there is no why. Nothing more will I teach you today, clear your mind of questions. [Luke's ship sinks into the mud] Luke : We'll never get it out now! Yoda : So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Have you not heard what I've said? Movie Title: Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) as Yoda: Luke : Master Yoda, you can't die. Yoda : Strong am I with the Force, but not that strong. Yoda : Hmm. That face you make? Look I so old to young eyes? Luke : No... of course not. [Yoda chuckles] Yoda : I do, yes, I do. Sick have I become. Old and weak. When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not. Hmm? Yoda : Soon will I rest, yes, forever sleep. Earned it I have. Twilight is upon me, soon night must fall. Yoda : That face you make... look I so old to young eyes? Luke : No. Of course not. Yoda : I do. Yes, I do. Sicker I become, old and weak... When nine hundred years old YOU reach, look as good YOU will not, hmm? Yoda : Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Luke... Luke... do not... do not underestimate the powers of the Emperor or suffer your father's fate you will. Luke, when gone am I... the last of the Jedi will you be. Luke, the Force runs strong in your family. Pass on what you have learned, Luke. There is... another... Sky... walker. [Yoda dies] Movie Title: Sesame Street (1969) as Grover: Grover : Hello, sir, and welcome to Grover's Taxi. Fat Blue : Oh no, it's you! Grover : Yes it is I, your furry blue taxi driver. What can I do for you, sir? Fat Blue : I want to go to the library. Grover : Oh a very wise choice. The library is a wonderful place with books to read and you can listen to records like "The Air is Alive with the Sound of Music." Fat Blue : I know that. Let's go. Grover : You know you can take home books from the library too, if you bring them back of course. Fat Blue : I know. That's why I'm going there. Grover : Of course you could also go to the zoo. Fat Blue : I don't want to go to the zoo! Grover : Why? There are lions and tigers there. And the lions go Rrrrroar! And do not forget the monkeys, they are so cute, they go "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!" And you can buy a balloon there. Fat Blue : I don't wanna hear "Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh!" I don't want a balloon, I want to go to the library! Grover : Hello everybodeeeeeeeee! It is I, Grover! Grover : How about the museum? You can look at pictures of the mummies... And the daddies. Fat Blue : I don't want to look at pictures of the mummies and the daddies! Fat Blue : [in Grover's taxi] I do not want to go to the museum, I do not want to go the movies, I do not want to go to the zoo! I want YOU to drive ME to the library! Grover : Gladly, sir. If you do not mind waiting. Fat Blue : Waiting? Waiting for what? Grover : 'Til I get my car fixed. It is broken. Fat Blue : I can't wait 'til your car is fixed. I'm in a hurry! Grover : Oh alright, sir, if you are going to be difficult. [calls out] Grover : Hey, Herry! Forget the gargage. We need to go to the library! Fat Blue : But I'm in a hurry. Hey...? Grover : Well in that case I shall call you a taxi. [calls out] Grover : Taxi! Taxi, we got a library job! Taxi! They never stop when you need them. Have you ever noticed that? Movie Title: The Blues Brothers (1980) as Corrections Officer: [Jake Blues is released on parole and gets back all the things he wore when he was arrested] Corrections Officer : One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One soiled. Movie Title: The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland (1999) as Bert: Ernie : Come on Bert, what kind of movie has a sad ending? Bert : Titanic. Titanic had a sad ending. Movie Title: The Adventures of Super Grover (1987) as Grover: Grover : Remember this, kids, it is very important. Even if your mommy makes you a super hero costume, do not attempt to do any of these things, especially flying. Because you cannot do it. You do not have super powers. Because their is only one Super Grover. And that is me. Narrator: He zooms through the sky smarter than a speeding bullet, furrier than a power locomotive, able to leap tall sandwiches in a single bound. Kid: Look, up in the sky. It's an egg plant! Kid #2: It's a meatball! Grover : It is I! Super Grover! Movie Title: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) as Yoda: Yoda : Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing. Yoda : Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is. Obi-Wan : I have to admit that without the clones it would have not been a victory. Yoda : Victory. Victory you say? Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen, begun the clone war has. Yoda : Around the survivors a perimeter create. Yoda : Clear your mind must be, if you are to discover the real villains behind this plot. Count Dooku : I have become more powerful than any Jedi. Even you. Yoda : Much to learn you still have. Yoda : Blind we are, if creation of this clone army we could not see. Mace Windu : I think it is time we inform the senate that our ability to use the force has diminished. Yoda : Only the Dark Lord of the Sith knows of our weakness. If informed the senate is, multiply our adversaries will. Yoda : The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is. Yoda : To the forward command center take me. Yoda : Powerful you have become Dooku, the dark side I sense in you. Mace Windu : What is it? Yoda : Pain, suffering, death I feel. Something terrible has happened. Young Skywalker is in pain. Terrible pain. Movie Title: Muppets From Space (1999) as Fozzie Bear / Miss Piggy / Animal / Fozzie: Gonzo : People of Earth, do not be alarmed! Miss Piggy : Oh brother. Miss Piggy : Hello little people. What an absolutely splendid day. Miss Piggy : Quick, somebody knock and see if Barbie's home! Miss Piggy : We're going to pause here and we'll be right back with Gonzo, the Geek Who Fell to Earth. Miss Piggy : What are you doing here? Gonzo : I'm making contact. What are you doing? Gonzo : Rizzo? Rizzo : Gonzo? Miss Piggy : Kermy? Kermit : Piggy? TV Producer : What is going on here?! Agent Barker : Black belt, third degree. Miss Piggy : Platinum belt, with an unlimited line of credit. Agent Barker : How about this story? It's about a big, bad wolf and a little pig. Miss Piggy : Um, that's three pigs, okay? Agent Barker : Not in this version. Miss Piggy : Oh! A real story. Intrigue! Danger! New outfits! And it's mine, mine, mine, all mine, a ha ha ha ha . . . (to camera) Oh, come on, please, you think Ted Koppel never gets excited? Miss Piggy : I've got great news! Gonzo has been kidnapped by the government and it could be a life-threatening situation! Kermit : How can that be great news? Miss Piggy : Because, I've got a story, I've got a story! Oh! I need to change! Something that says journalistic integrity. Kermit : Okay, guys. It's up to us. We have to save Gonzo from a whole army of government agents. Fozzie : Well, I have a joke book. Animal : Drumsticks, drumsticks! Pepe : I have some loose jello, okay. Kermit : Okay. Well that settles that. Kermit : He's one of us. And no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles we face, we NEVER forget one of our own. Miss Piggy : I love it when you take charge. Fozzie Bear : Hey! We left Bunsen and Beaker back at the gas station. Kermit : Okay . . . Well, uh, from THIS point on , no matter what happens, we never forget one of our own. Miss Piggy : Hello! What's a nice man like *you* doing in a guardhouse like *this*? Kermit : Okay, guys. We've got to get through those doors. Fozzie Bear : Should we just ask permission from those nice men with the rifles? [Pepe reappears in ballet costume] Pepe : La la la la lah laah. Lah! Fozzie : Wow. Pepe : I should, uh, go change, okay? Miss Piggy : Midnight. The lone alien stands before a naked sky. The mood is tense. My hair looks *great.* Movie Title: Sesame Street Special (1988) as Grover Monster / Cookie Monster: Restaurant Customer : Could you bring me a numero dos without dropping it on the floor? Grover Monster : Where there is life, there is hope. Restaurant Customer : If you're gonna dance again, just put the tray down so you don't spill it please! Grover Monster : Good idea. I'll put it down here beside the Tres and Quatro so it will not be too lonely. Cookie Monster : Me not *take* cookies, me *eat* the cookies. Robert McNeill : What's the difference? Cookie Monster : Eat begin with an E and take...Begin with a T. Cookie Monster : "The 39 Stairs", made by guy named Alfred. Grover Monster : [singing] Granada! Granada Cadiz Sevilla, where butter is called mantiquilla/you're treated so fine, when you come into dine/I'm always delighted to see ya. Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! |
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