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 Harriet Sansom Harris QuotationMovie Title: Doctor Doctor (1989) as Peggy Murtagh: Bill Murtagh : [Dr. Mike tries to get Bill Murtagh to come in for tests, giving him his business card with the practice's address] You expect me to come HERE? Dr. Mike Stratford : What's going on? Bill Murtagh : My daughter works here. Dr. Mike Stratford : Is she one of our nurses? Peggy Murtagh : One of your doctors. Dr. Mike Stratford : Dierdre? [pronouncing it "deer-dree"] Peggy Murtagh : Dierdre! [pronouncing it "deer-drah"] Bill Murtagh : Show him the door, Peggy. Dr. Mike Stratford : I know what a door is! [turns back to front entrance, looking uncertainly between door and windows] Movie Title: The Five Mrs. Buchanans (1994) as Vivian: [On surrogate motherhood.] Vivian : Oh, look, I love Delilah. If she'd asked to borrow money, fine. Borrow my car? Sure. But I'm sorry, my uterus is off limits! Mother Buchanan : I hear that Delilah is unhappy... and an unhappy Delilah makes an unhappy Charles... and an unhappy Charles makes an unhappy Mother Buchanan. Vivian : And a happy Mother Buchanan would look like...? Mother Buchanan : You may never know, Vivian. Vivian : Alex, did you buy one of those hideous trolls people put on their front lawn? Alex : Of course not! Vivian : Oh. In that case, I think Mother Buchanan's here for a visit. [Looking through a photo album.] Mother Buchanan : That's one of me when I was young. Bree : Why is it so blurry? Vivian : They had just invented film. Vivian : [shouting off-stage] Lyndon! P.J.! Stop it! I'm warning you! If you misbehave in church, Jesus won't love you anymore! [to her sisters-in-law] Vivian : Please don't tell anyone I said that. Delilah : She implied that I wear too much make-up. Vivian : Well actually, Delilah, three layers of base is probably sufficient. Bree : And you must be Vivian! Vivian : C'est moi. Bree : [to her husband] You didn't tell me she was Mexican! Vivian : Well, let's get this fiesta over with. Delilah : I just wish I understood why Jesse was rushing into this marriage. There's no reason for it. Vivian : People, please. There is only one explanation. Alex : What's that? [Vivian pantomimes being pregnant] Delilah : His fiancee is a mime? Vivian : Alex, I want to thank you again for letting me bring the twins by here tonight... you ever need a favor, just ask. Alex : Actually, I do. Could you ask the twins not to play on my brand new patio furniture? Vivian : Of course. [turns off-screen, shouting] Vivian : Lyndon! P.J.! If you won't stop jumping on that chaise longue, you're gonna break it! And you know you're Aunt Alex doesn't have a lot of nice things! [turns back to Alex, smiles sweetly] Vivian : Oh my God, Alex. The twins have gotten hold of your cat. Alex : Why do they have her blindfolded? Vivian : They're playing "International Terrorist" again. It's a little game they made up. [turns off-screen, shouting] Vivian : Lyndon! P.J.! What have I told you about taking animals hostage?! Let her go... What?... I don't care if your demands haven't been met yet, let the kitty go! Jesse Buchanan : [Introducing his fiancé] Isn't she great? I met her on vacation last month at Disneyland. She worked there. Vivian : Somehow I sensed that. Bree : Actually, I worked at Disneyland for over seven years. Delilah : No surprise there either. Movie Title: Frasier (1993) as Bebe: Bebe : Do you have any idea how hot you are? I get offers everyday from other stations offering the moon for you. Frasier : Good Lord, am I really that hot? Bebe : Are you kidding? If I were a pot roast, I'd be done. Niles : Hello, I'm Niles, a person at the table. Bebe : Niles, thank God you're here. Back me up. Give him some sound, brotherly advice. Niles : She's the Devil, Frasier. Run fast, run far. Martin : Well, I think I'm going to hit the hay too. Bebe : That's awfully risky of you, isn't it? Leaving us "kids" out here unchaperoned. Martin : Better him than me. Frasier : What kind of a woman are you? You seduced me, you lied to me, you nearly got me killed. You've shamelessly manipulated not only me but the station, the news media, and the entire city of Seattle. What do you have to say for yourself? Bebe : Aren't you glad I'm on your side? Bebe : I'm sure you remember my number. Frasier : Still 666? Niles : Until today, I had no idea what a brilliant therapist your brother is. He has tunneled his way into the very depths of my psyche. Bebe : Well, let's hope he sent a canary down first. [Bebe is being forced to quit smoking] Daphne : Well, I smoked for years but I never became addicted. To this day, I can buy a pack, have a cig or two, toss them in a drawer and not crave another for months. Bebe : You know there's a word for people who can do that. What is it? Oh, yes: bitch! [Frasier is trying to get Bebe to quit smoking] Frasier : For God's sake... I don't care anymore. You know, I can't help you, nobody can. You want to ruin it for both of us? Here... [tosses her a lighter] Frasier : ... go ahead, knock yourself out. [Bebe begins to light cigarette] Frasier : I only wish I could be there when it happens. Bebe : When what happens? Frasier : When you see that newspaper headline: "Big Willy Boone, Millionaire, Dead." Oh, how I wish I could be there when you watch the funeral on the news. Watch the casket being slipped into the ground. Only, you won't be watching that. No, no, you'll be watching... the widow Boone. Tiffany, perhaps. Oh no, better yet, "Kelli" - with an "I"! Bebe : [tortured] Stop it! Frasier : You'll picture her wearing YOUR jewels, sailing in YOUR yachts, sleeping with YOUR gigolos - but, oh, you won't be sad, no, no, no! [chuckles] Frasier : Because you'll have your cigarette. [Bebe stares at her cigarette with fear] Frasier : Yeah! Clutched in your nicotine-stained teeth, smoke whirling about your once-pretty, now creased, leathery, smoke-ravaged... Bebe : [anguished] Enough! [Bebe hands the cigarettes to a triumphant Frasier] Bebe : God! You are one hell of a therapist! Movie Title: Addams Family Values (1993) as Ellen Buckman: Morticia : Wednesday's at that age when a young girl has only one thing on her mind. Ellen Buckman : Boys? Wednesday : Homicide. Movie Title: The One (2001) as Nurse Besson: Nurse Besson : For God's sake, you're getting an MRI, not a heart transplant. |
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