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 Andrew McCarthy QuotationMovie Title: The Joy Luck Club (1993) as Ted / Ted Jordan: Ted : I always knew you were a jerk, but, shit, this is the first time in my life I've been ashamed of you. Mrs. Jordan : How dare you use that language. I think you'd better apologize right now. Ted : I'm sorry Mom, you made a fucking asshole out of yourself in front of the woman I love! Rose Hsu Jordan : I didn't say it to impress you. Ted Jordan : That's why it did. Movie Title: Weekend at Bernie's II (1993) as Larry Wilson: [Watching Charles and Henry stealing Bernie] Richard Parker : What kind of idiots would steal a dead body? Larry Wilson : We did! Larry Wilson : Swim with the fishes, you zombie bastard! Larry Wilson : I was not the one who was out CONGA-DANCING all night, huh! Movie Title: Pretty in Pink (1986) as Blane: Blane : You said you couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in you. Well I believed in you. I just didn't believe in me. I love you. always. Blane : You couldn't buy her, though, that's what's killing you, isn't it? Stef? That's it, Stef. She thinks you're shit. And deep down, you know she's right. Movie Title: St. Elmo's Fire (1985) as Kevin: Kirby : I always thought we'd be friends forever. Kevin : Yeah, well forever got a lot shorter all of a sudden. Jules : Don't you enjoy anything anymore... like girls? Kevin : I enjoy being afraid of Russia. It's a harmless fear, but it makes America feel better, Russia gets an inflated sense of national worth from our paranoia. How's that? Kevin : How come you never ask me if I want a date? Naomi : I thought you were gay! Kirbo : It's true love, my friend. Kevin : Love, love, you know what love is? Love is an illusion created by lawyer types like yourself to perpetuate another illusion called marriage to create the reality of divorce and then the illusionary need for divorce lawyers. Kevin : Marriage is a concept invented by people who were lucky to make it to 20 without being eaten by dinosaurs. Marriage is extinct. Alec : Dinosaurs are extinct. Marriage is still around. Kevin : You know there are more people in law school right now than there are lawyers on the entire planet? Think about that. Kirbo : You are just pissed off and bitter because you have not had sex in... how long? What is it... a year... maybe two? Refresh my memory please, Kevin. Haven't you heard of the sexual revolution? Kevin : Who won, huh? Nobody. Used to be sex was the only free thing, No longer. Alimony... palimony... it's all financial. Love is an illusion. Kirbo : It's the only illusion that counts, my friend. Kevin : Says who? Kirbo : Anyone who's been in love. Kevin : Love sucks. Kirbo : So does your attitude. Kevin : Love is an illusion. Kirby : It's the only illusion that counts my friend. Kevin : You know Jules, there is the brink of insanity and then there is the abyss, which obviously you have fallen into! Kirby : Why do they put ice in the urinals? Kevin : It tastes better Kirby : Bah Dum bum ching. Kirby : I understand the fold, but what's fluff? Kevin : Fluff's what I write for the paper. Movie Title: Class (1983) as Jonathan: Jonathan : Cut it out! Skip : I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass! Movie Title: Weekend at Bernie's (1989) as Larry Wilson: Richard Parker : Well, you're a half hour late. Larry Wilson : Only half hour? I'm usually forty-five minutes late. I'm early today. Richard Parker : This is the note. Listen. "Richard Parker and I stole this money from the company to pay for my sex-change operation." Larry Wilson : What? Richard Parker : That's what it says. Larry Wilson : "Now he tells me he loves someone else. I can't live with that, and niether will he." It's got my name written on it! Richard Parker : Oh God. Larry Wilson : Son of a bitch. I mean, it's not bad enough that he's trying to kill me. Now he's trying to turn me into a drag queen. Why couldn't he have said you were going to have the operation? Richard Parker : It doesn't matter, Larry, it doesn't matter. Larry Wilson : Oh, yes it does matter, Richard, it does matter. I have a reputation to protect here! Richard Parker : For Christ's sake, Larry! No one is going to have a sex-change operation, huh? Larry Wilson : Oh yeah. I've gotta call the cops! Mugger : Give me all your money and your wallets. Larry Wilson : Aw, get your ass outta here, it's too hot! Larry Wilson : What kind of a host invites you to his house for the weekend and dies on you? Larry Wilson : Why don't we just pretend he didn't die? Just for a bit! Security Officer: Hot enough for ya, Larry? Larry Wilson : No, Harris! Why don't you turn up the heat? Security Officer: OK, I'll tell the engineer. Larry Wilson : We could call the cops, Richard, but you know where we'd be spending our weekend. In some... goddamned hot police station answering questions we don't know the answers to. Larry Wilson : How do you like that? The guy gets laid more times dead than I do alive. Larry Wilson : God, that guy; beautiful apartment, house at the beach, babes, boat, car. Do you know how much it costs to park a car in Manhattan every month? More than my rent. Richard Parker : Well, I mean it's only fair. His car is a bit bigger than your apartment. Larry Wilson : God, that guy; beautiful apartment, house at the beach, babes, boat, car. Do you know how much it costs to park a car in Manhattan every month? More than my rent. Richard Parker : Well, I mean it's only fair. His car is a bit bigger than your apartment. Larry Wilson : You're gonna need my apartment. Richard Parker : Oh no, I couldn't do that to you. Larry Wilson : Rich, if she finds out you live with your parents you're gonna embarras yourself. Richard Parker : Yeah I know. But still, I just... couldn't. Larry Wilson : It's the coackroaches isn't it? Richard Parker : Well... Larry Wilson : They scatter when the light goes on. Larry Wilson : "A little brown-nosing, a little ass-kissing, work our way up that corporate ladder?" WHY can't you be a lazy shit like I am? Larry Wilson : Why are you shooting us? We're just friends of Bernie's. Paulie, Vito's Hit Man : I hate... Bernie's friends! [keeps shooting] Movie Title: Mannequin (1987) as Jonathan / Jonathan Switcher: Jonathan : A radio shrink? They're only good for people with problems that fit between the commercials. [coming out of the elevator] Jonathan : Easy Felix. I don't think she's armed! Jonathan Switcher : That teaches him to mess with a man and his mannequin. Movie Title: Less Than Zero (1987) as Clay: Blair : Did you talk to Julian yet? Clay : No. Blair : Clay, I asked you to talk to him. Clay : Okay, I'll call Betty Ford, you want me to get him a room, fine. Blair : No, just talk to him, I mean, he's your friend, too. Clay : It's funny. When you called me, I thought I was coming home to see you. Clay : Just leave with me! There's no reason for you to stay. Not here, not in LA. Julian : Jesus! Do I look like I'm ready for homework? Clay : Are you happy, Blair? You don't look happy. Blair : But do I look good? Rip : Well, don't slack off, man. Don't be a bum. Clay : Like you? Rip : Just like me. |
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