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 Julia Roberts Quotation"I enjoy hats. And when one has filthy hair, that is a good accessory." "I'm too tall to be a girl, I never had enough dresses to be a lady, I wouldn't call myself a woman. I'd say I'm somewhere between a chick and a broad." "My real hair color is kind of a dark blonde. Now I just have mood hair." (From 1998 interview) "I've sort of grown into my cuteness." "We all need to take a deep breath and think about being a Bush daughter and having that cross to bear. I'd go out and have a couple of drinks, too." - about President George W. Bush's daughters being caught with alcohol as minors "It doesn't bring out the Einstein moment that you hoped it would."-- Julia Roberts, on forgetting to include the real-life Erin Brockovich in her Academy Award acceptance speech. You know I'm like a total geek, right? First of all, I sit on the set and knit. It's a very social hobby, as opposed to reading at work - I can chat with people and still be fully engaged. "He's embarrassing, he's not my president. He will never be my president" - talking about President George W. Bush "I'm just an ordinary person who has an extraordinary job." "I get dressed up like a doll, a nice man puts lipstick on my lips and I say words - it's deeply satisfying" - on the essence of her job On why she will never do a nude scene: "I just don't feel that my algebra teacher should ever know what my butt looks like." "You can be true to the character all you want, but you've go to go home with yourself." Movie Title: The 73rd Annual Academy Awards (2001) as Julia Roberts: Julia Roberts : I already have a television, so I'm just going to keep on going. Movie Title: Sleeping with the Enemy (1991) as Laura: Laura : [on phone, with gun aimed at Martin] Police? Come quickly. I've just shot an intruder. Martin : I remember the time you ran off and tried to leave me. Need I remind you how worried I was about you? Laura : No. You reminded me enough the night you brought me back here. Martin : You're not suggesting I enjoyed that, are you? Laura : Oh, God, no. That would make you a monster. Movie Title: Dying Young (1991) as Hilary 'Hil: [Serving Victor his dinner] Hilary 'Hil : Dinner. Victor 'Vic : Thanks. Hilary 'Hil : Eggs. Victor 'Vic : Thank you. Hilary 'Hil : That's all this redhead could find. There's no real food in the house. Unless you want a Twinkie omelet. Victor 'Vic : Ha! Twinkie omelet. Shauna : So how much is he paying you? Hilary 'Hil : 400 big ones. Shauna : Fuck me!... Not you. Movie Title: Stepmom (1998) as Isabel: Isabel : Why don't we name the puppy? Anna Harrison : I know: Isabel. Isabel : I beg your pardon? Anna Harrison : Well, it kind of smells like you, and I'm allergic to you too, so it fits perfectly. Isabel : Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her, fixing her veil, fluffing her dress, telling her no woman has ever looked so beautiful. And my fear is she'll think, "I wish my mom were here." Jackie Harrison : And my fear is... she won't. Jackie Harrison : You know, Ben was born in two hours, went right to the breast, and camped there for 4 days. His blanket looked just like a cape, even the nurses thought so. He loves hearing that story about how he was born a magician. Isabel : What about her? Jackie Harrison : 28 hours. The doctors wanted to go in and get her, but I knew she'd come at her own time. You can never rush her. Isabel : I'll keep that in mind. Isabel : You look tired. Jackie Harrison : Is that a polite way of saying I look like shit? [After Anna has called and hung up twice] Isabel : Hello?... What is your problem, asshole? Anna Harrison : YOU are my problem! Anna Harrison : I don't have to listen to you, you're not my mother! Isabel : THANK GOD FOR THAT! [Jackie is smoking marijuana] Jackie Harrison : Yep. Life's a tradeoff. It's finally legal to smoke dope, but you got to have cancer. Isabel : Are you dying? Jackie Harrison : Not today. [To Luke] Isabel : Don't fight with me when I'm hungry. Isabel : It's not that I can't cook, I choose not to cook. Isabel : If you meet me back here in 1 hour, I will prove to you why you hired me... even though I wouldn't sleep with you Movie Title: Michael Collins (1996) as Kitty Kiernan: Michael Collins : There was a man in west Cork who proposed to five sisters. Kitty Kiernan : I suppose they all refused. Michael Collins : Then the father died and he proposed to the mother. Kitty Kiernan : Are you trying to tell me something? Michael Collins : I was working up to a proposal. Kitty Kiernan : So which one of you gunslingers is going to ask me to dance? Movie Title: The Pelican Brief (1993) as Darby Shaw: Gray Grantham : Do you want to talk about the brief? Darby Shaw : Everyone I have told about the brief is dead. Gray Grantham : I take my chances. Movie Title: Notting Hill (1999) as Anna Scott: Anna Scott : You know what they say about men with big feet. William : No, I don't, actually. What's that? Anna Scott : Big feet... large shoes. Anna Scott : I've been on a diet everyday since I was nineteen, which basically means I've been hungry for a decade. I've had a series of not so nice boyfriends, one of whom hit me. And every time I get my heartbroken the newspapers splash it about as thought it's entertainment. And it's taken two rather painful operations to get me looking like this. Honey : Really Anna Scott : And one day, not long from now, my looks will go. They will discover I can't act, and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for awhile. Anna Scott : After all... I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. William : I enjoyed the movie very much. I was just wondering, did you ever consider having more horses in it? Anna Scott : Well, we would have liked to. But it was difficult, obviously, being set in space. William : Whoopsidaisies! Anna Scott : What did you say? William : Nothing. Anna Scott : Yes you did. William : No I didn't. Anna Scott : You said "whoopsidaisies". William : I don't think so. No one says "whoopsidaisies" do they? Unless they're... Anna Scott : There's no "unless." No one has said "whoopsidaisies" for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets. William : Exactly. Here we go again. [He falls off the fence again] William : Whoopsidaisies. It's a disease I've got. It's a clinical thing. I'm taking pills and having injections. It won't last long. Anna Scott : Can I stay for a while? William : You can stay forever. William : I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are. Anna Scott : I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. Anna Scott : I can't believe you have that picture on your wall. William : You like Chagall? Anna Scott : I do. It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky. William : With a goat playing the violin. Anna Scott : Yes - happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat. Anna Scott : Rita Hayworth used to say, "They go to bed with Gilda; they wake up with me." William : Who's Gilda? Anna Scott : Her most famous part. Men went to bed with the dream; they didn't like it when they would wake up with the reality. Do you feel that way? William : You are lovelier this morning than you have ever been. Anna Scott : I've been on a diet every day since I was nineteen, which basically means I've been hungry for a decade. I've had a series of not-so-nice boyfriends, one of whom hit me. And every time I get my heart broken, the newspapers splash it about as though it's entertainment. And it's taken two rather painful operations to get me looking like this. Honey : Really. [Anna taps her chin and nose] Anna Scott : And one day, not long from now, my looks will go. They will discover I can't act, and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while. Anna Scott : "For June who loved this garden from Joseph who always sat beside her." Some people do spend their whole lives together. Anna Scott : Hi. I'd just like to apologise for my friend, he's really sensitive. Don't worry about it! I'm sure it was harmless. I'm sure it just friendly banter. I'm sure you guys have dicks the size of peanuts! Enjoy your dinner, the tuna's really good. William : Sorry about the "surreal but nice" comment. Anna Scott : Don't worry, I thought the whole apricot honey thing was the real low point. William : Would you like a cup of tea before you go? Anna Scott : No. William : Orange juice? No, probably not... something else cold? Coke? Water? Some disgusting sugary drink pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest? Anna Scott : No. William : Do you... always say no to everything? Anna Scott : [thinks] No. Movie Title: Erin Brockovich (2000) as Erin Brockovich: Theresa Dallavale : Okay, look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here... Erin Brockovich : That's all you got, lady. Two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes. Erin Brockovich : Bite my ass, Krispy Kreme! Erin Brockovich : For the first time in my life, I got people respecting me. Please, don't ask me to give it up. Erin Brockovich : Did they teach you how to apologize at lawyer school? 'Cause you suck at it. Ed Masry : What makes you think you can just walk in there and take whatever you want? Erin Brockovich : They're called boobs, Ed. Kurt Potter : Wha... how did you do this? Erin Brockovich : Well, um, seeing as how I have no brains or legal expertise, and Ed here was losing all faith in the system, am I right? Ed Masry : Oh, yeah, completely. No faith, no faith... Erin Brockovich : I just went out there and performed sexual favors. Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days... I'm really quite tired. Ed Masry : In a law firm you may want to re-think your wardrobe a little. Erin Brockovich : Well as long as I have one ass instead of two I'll wear what I like if that's all right with you? You might want to re-think those ties. Erin Brockovich : Are you going to be something else that I have to survive? Because I don't think I can handle it. Erin Brockovich : NOT PERSONAL! That is my WORK, my SWEAT, and MY TIME AWAY FROM MY KIDS! IF THAT IS NOT PERSONAL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! [At the meeting with the PG & E lawyers] Ms. Sanchez : Let's be honest here. $20 million dollars is more money then these people have ever dreamed of. Erin Brockovich : Oh see, now that pisses me off. First of all, since the demur we have more than 400 plaintiffs and... let's be honest, we all know there are more out there. They may not be the most sophisticated people but they do know how to divide and $20 million isn't *shit* when you split it between them. Second of all, these people don't dream about being rich. They dream about being able to watch their kids swim in a pool without worrying that they'll have to have a hysterectomy at the age of *twenty*. Like Rosa Diaz, a client of ours. Or have their spine deteriorate, like Stan Blume, *another* client of ours. So before you come back here with another lame ass offer, I want you to think real hard about what your spine is worth Mr. Walker. Or what you might expect someone to pay you for your uterus Ms. Sanchez. Then you take out your calculator and you multiply that number by a hundred. Anything less than that is a waste of our time. [Ms. Sanchez picks up a glass of water] Erin Brockovich : By the way, we had that water brought in especially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley. Ms. Sanchez : I think this meeting is over. Ed Masry : Damn right it is. Erin Brockovich : Look I don't know shit about shit but I know right from wrong! George : How many numbers you got? Erin Brockovich : Oh, I got numbers comin' outta my ears. For instance: ten. George : Ten? Erin Brockovich : Yeah. That's how many months old my baby girl is. George : You got a little girl? Erin Brockovich : Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How 'bout this for a number? Six. That's how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I've been married -- and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That's my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're gonna call it. Erin Brockovich : Isn't it funny how some people go out of their way to help others, when others just fire them? Ed Masry : Look, I'm sorry but you were gone for a week. I assumed you were off having fun. Erin Brockovich : Oh, and why the hell would you assume that? Ed Masry : I don't know. You look like someone who likes to have fun. Erin Brockovich : Oh, so by that standard I should assume that you never get laid. Ed Masry : I'm married! [after a pause] Ed Masry : Look. What is this all about? Erin Brockovich : Do you want to know? Then you'll have to hire me back. I've got a ton of bills to pay. Ed Masry : Fine! Fine! Ed Masry : This is a whole different ball game. A much bigger deal. Erin Brockovich : Kind of like David and whats-his-name. Ed Masry : Kind of like David and whats-his-name's whole fucking family. Donna Jensen : You're a lawyer? Erin Brockovich : NO, no... I hate lawyers. I only work for them. Ed Masry : I'd love to help, Erin, but I'm sorry, I have a full staff right now, so... Erin Brockovich : Bullshit. If you had a full staff, this office would return a client's damn phone calls. Erin Brockovich : So tell me something Scott, does PG&E pay you to cover their ass or do you just do it out of the kindness of your heart? Erin Brockovich : Annabelle Daniels: 74-454-9346. 10 years old, 11 in May. Lived on the plume since birth. Wanted to be a synchronized swimmer so she spent every minute she could in the PG&E pool. She had a tumor in her brain stem detected last November, an operation on Thanksgiving, shrunk it with radiation after that. Her parents are Ted & Rita. Ted's got Crohn's disease, Rita has chronic headaches, and nausea, and underwent a hysterectomy last fall. Ted grew up in Hinkley. His brother Robbie, and his wife May and their five children: Robbie Jr, Martha, Ed, Rose & Peter *also* lived on the plume. Their number is 454-9554. You want their diseases? Movie Title: Conspiracy Theory (1997) as Alice / Alice Sutton: Alice Sutton : He said a dog bit his nose. Jerry Fletcher : Arf. Jerry : David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Richard Speck... Alice : What about them? Jerry : Serial killers. Serial killers only have two names. You ever notice that? But lone gunmen assassins, they always have three names. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman... Alice : John Hinckley. He shot Reagan. He only has two names. Jerry : Yeah, but he only just shot Reagan. Reagan didn't die. If Reagan had died, I'm pretty sure we probably would all know what John Hinckley's middle name was. Jerry : I love you. Alice : Jerry, no, no, you don't love me. Jerry : Sure I do. Alice : No, no. Jerry : I don't? Alice Sutton : I love you, too. Jerry Fletcher : Oh Alice... now you tell me. Alice Sutton : This guy's a restraining order waiting to happen. Alice Sutton : Where are you, Jerry? Jerry Fletcher : I'm here. Alice Sutton : Where's here, Jerry? Jerry Fletcher : On the floor. Alice Sutton : If you could remember who stabbed you with the wheelchair, and where it happened it would really help. Alice Sutton : How did you know this was my car? Jerry : I didn't. It was just a lucky guess. Look, I feel kinda naked. Could we get outta here? Alice Sutton : Please don't tell me you're naked back there. Jerry : No, it's just a figure of speech, could we go? Please? Alice Sutton : Yeah, OK, OK. [Communicating through the air ducts] Alice : Jerry, I'm coming to get you. Jerry : Alice, Alice, You can fit through there? [talking through vent] Alice : Jerry? Jerry : Alice is that you? Alice : Yes Jerry. Jerry : Oh Alice, I'm so sorry that you're dead. Movie Title: The Mexican (2001) as Samantha: Samantha : You have managed to Forrest Gump your way through this. Samantha : By the grace of God or I don't know what honey you have managed to Forrest Gump your way through this. If we run now, we're going to be running the rest of our lives. Samantha : I have to ask you a question. It's a good one so think about it. If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough? Jerry : Never. Samantha : Real emotion transcends language Jerry. You don't have to understand their words to feel their pain. Samantha : What was that? Leroy : What? Samantha : That (points eyes to the right) moment? Leroy : "What? What moment...? Samantha : ...Are you gay? Leroy : As in happy? Samantha : As in homosexual...? Leroy : What does my sexuality have anything to do with this? Samantha : You just checked that guy out and had a 'moment'! Samantha : I am a hostage? This is so Jerry. Samantha : Oh, NOW! you're BLAMESHIFTING! Samantha : All right. Jerry, I want you to acknowledge that my needs means nothing to you and you're a selfish prick and a liar. Jerry : Oh, my God! Samantha : Jerry, acknowledge. Jerry : I... Ok. I will acknowledge that I promised to go to Vegas with you. But now we're just slightly delayed. If you want to construe my wanting to stay alive as being selfish, well, then okay. But I have every intention of going with you because your needs are very important to me, sweetheart. Come on. Look at my all my stuff here, all over the pavement. Come on, baby? Huh? What do you say? Ok? Samantha : I'm going with or without you, Jerry. What's it gonna be? A bastard! Jerry : A bastard. What happened to, uh, "sweetheart" and "big love" and all those things you called me in the bedroom last night? Samantha : The only thing I'm interested in calling you, Jerry, is a cab! Samantha : I'm sensing you have trust issues. Leroy : Don't you love him? Samantha : I think that's the problem. We love each other too much. Winston Baldry : Do you want me to rape you? Samantha : Are you gay? Winston Baldry : Do you want me to rape you? Samantha : You are gay. Jerry : Baby, what are you doing? Samantha : You said this was your last job, Jerry! Jerry : What do you want me to say? I'm sorry, I can't, the old lady wants me to quit. Fuck off. Samantha : Yes! Something like that. Like exactly! Jerry : I'm not in insurance, sweetie! Leroy : I know we're all a little grouchy right now. We'll get something to eat, you'll get the pistol and then we'll go our separate ways. Samantha : Really separate ways. Jerry : Don't start, Sam. Samantha : Shut up. I'll start because I have the right... Jerry : Why do you do that? Do not tell me to shut up. We had an agreement, remember? Samantha : Shut up. Leroy : Why don't we all shut up a bit? Jerry : I swear to God, I will crash this fucking car right now. Leroy : Jerry, don't do that. Jerry : I will. One more word out of you. Another word, Sam. One more word. I swear to fucking God. Samantha : Naugahyde. Jerry : All right. Samantha : You know, you're very sensitive for a cold blooded killer. Samantha : Do you have any idea what I have been through these last few days? Jerry : Oh, Sam, whatever you've been through multiply that by 1000 and you'll have a vague conception of where I'm at. Samantha : Oh! Oh, isn't that typical, Jerry? It's all a competition. Tit for tat, tat for tit. Jerry : Stop yelling, for Christ sake! Listen, how are you? Are you ok? Are you all right? Where are you? Samantha : Toluca airport, Jerry. And things are shitty, really shitty! Movie Title: Steel Magnolias (1989) as Shelby: Shelby : Pink is my signature color. Shelby : Well, we went skinny dipping and we did things that frightened the fish. Shelby : Truvy, you know what you need in here? You need a radio, takes the pressure off of everyone feeling they have to talk so much. Truvy : I had one once, but I threw it up against the wall when I couldn't figure out where the batteries went. I know now I was suffering from pre-menstrual syndrome. Shelby : I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. M'Lynn : Shelby, the boys bought the car around. Shelby : What did they do to it? M'Lynn : Well, let me put it this way... If you and Jackson want to practice safe sex, you're all set! Movie Title: Mary Reilly (1996) as Mary Reilly: Mary Reilly : He said you had an ailment. What sort of ailment is it? Dr. Henry Jekyll : You might call it a fraction of my soul. Something that left me with a taste for oblivion. Movie Title: Mystic Pizza (1988) as Daisy: [giving a pizza to Kat] Daisy : Say hello to mom for me. Katherine : No, I'll be late for my interview...I've been three times this week. Daisy : Four... and you go to Heaven... [Kat leaves] Daisy : Kat such a good girl, were did we go wrong with her sister Daisy Movie Title: Flatliners (1990) as Rachel: Rachel : See you soon. Movie Title: Something to Talk About (1995) as Grace: [After Emma Rae knees Eddie in the groin] Grace : Emma Rae, what did you do to him? Emma Rae : You told me to keep him busy. He's busy holding his nuts. Grace : What is the matter with you? Emma Rae : Consider it a blow for your dignity. Grace : What is dignified about kicking somebody in the balls? Emma Rae : Well... I feel better. Eddie Bichon : If you didn't want to get married why did you? Grace : Why'd you ask me? Eddie Bichon : Why'd I ask you? Grace : Yeah, you're the one who hasn't even stopped dating yet! Grace : Emma Rae, I have a cookbook to put out, and a daughter to raise, and the God damn winter Grand Prix. And I just don't have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve, so please, don't ask me to stop and think! Grace : Oh don't you lay that on me! I have orgasms everyday I've just gotten so use to having them when your not in the room. Eddie Bichon : Well that's just GREAT! Grace : Daddy, I'm sorry. Wyly King : Don't be. Grace : I'm not. Movie Title: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002) as Patricia: Patricia : Insane asylums are filled with people who think they're Jesus or Satan. Very few have delusions of being a guy down the block who works for an insurance company. Patricia : You're kind of cute... in a homely sort of way. Movie Title: America's Sweethearts (2001) as Kiki: Kiki : That woman that was standing near the pool, the one who you fantasize, and want to spend the rest of your life with; that was me. Eddie : Kiki! Hold on, hold on. I wanna talk. Kiki : Let go of me. Eddie : Just... I wanna talk to you. Kiki : I don't want to talk to you! Eddie : Why not? Kiki : Because you're an idiot. Eddie : Well? Kiki : You know what? For that matter, I'm an idiot, too! In that respect we're actually quite perfect for each other. Eddie : This is a very complicated situation. Kiki : Well, let me uncomplicate it for you, huh? Forget about what happened between us, Eddie. It's not gonna work. Alright? I mean last night... last night was, was great. But then she calls you this morning, and you just cannot wait to get out of the door to get to her. What is that? It's just not going to work 'cause you will probably always be thinking about her, and I will probably always be wondering if you are thinking about her. I just... I just need you to know one thing. Eddie : What? Kiki : That woman that you saw by the pool the other night... No that woman that you just have to spend the rest of your life with, that was me. [impersonating Gwen] Kiki : Kiki? Kiki-kins? Is that smoke? Is someone smoking within a six-mile radius of me? Have them put it out! Kiki, my butter has touched another food! I need new butter! Lee : Gwen, your dog just swallowed the window washer. Gwen : Puppy! Lee : Puppy? It's a raptor. Kiki : Time for prozac. Lee : She's taking prozac? Kiki : If only, the dog. Kiki : I bet you've never read a book in your life. Gwen : Ha! I read *all four* of the Harry Potter books! Lee : Will you please go talk to your sister? You're the only one she'll pretend to listen to. Kiki : [sighs] Where is she? Lee : Grazing. Gwen : Kiki? What was the name of that movie? Kiki : I don't give a shit! Eddie : No, that wasn't it. Kiki : [imitating Gwen] Kiki? Kiki-kins? Who's smoking? I smell smoke, within the six miles radius of where I'm standing! Stop them Kiki, stop them! Kiki : [imitating Gwen] My butter has touched another food, I need new butter. Anything they want, isn't the right Lee? Your a publicist. She had a green dress, looked like crap on her, brought out the bags under her eyes. She knew it, I knew it, she gave it to me. It actually looks pretty good on me. Then she decides maybe she wants it back. She doesn't want it, she just doesn't want me to have it. Lee : So you're in love with Eddie, is that it? Kiki : No. Wouldn't that be stupid. Kiki : Did they run out of butter or something? How could they run out of butter. I should have an assistant, because if I had an assistant, she would be out milking a COW and I would never run out of butter! Eddie : [to Kiki] Of all the things in the world, I am most grateful for you. Kiki : If that's a line from one of your movies... Eddie : No that one's mine. Movie Title: Hook (1991) as Tinkerbell: Peter Banning : You're a... you're a complex Freudian hallucination having something to do with my mother and I don't know why you have wings, but you have very lovely legs and you're a very nice tiny person and what am I saying, I don't know who my mother was; I'm an orphan and I've never done drugs because I missed the sixties, I was an accountant. Tinkerbell : Guess again. Tinkerbell : Eat. Peter Banning : Eat what? There's nothing here. Gandhi ate more than this. Tinkerbell : If you can't imagine yourself being Peter Pan, you won't *be* Peter Pan, so eat up. Tinkerbell : I believe in you, Peter Pan. Tinkerbell : You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting. [Peter falls over and hits his head] Peter Banning : Oh, look, stars. Tinkerbell : That's right, Peter. Second star to the right and straight on till morning. Peter Banning : I do not believe in fairies. Tinkerbell : Every time someone says 'I do not believe in fairies', somewhere there's a fairy that falls down dead. Peter Banning : I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! [Tinkerbell falls down the stairs of the dollhouse unconscious] Peter Banning : Oh my God, I think I've killed it. Movie Title: Satisfaction (1988) as Daryle / Daryle Shane: Josh : I want you to know I think you're really different. Daryle Shane : I can work really hard to be the same. Daryle : Well I just figured that Rome, Paris & Bulgaria sound pretty good Billy : What Bulgaria? Bulgaria's not in Europe. Daryle : Of course it is stupid Billy : You're ass..... Daryle : Think of all the clothes I could have bought in Europe Billy : Ahh forget it. None of us speak European anyway Movie Title: Ocean's Eleven (2001) as Tess: Danny : Now, they tell me I paid my debt to society. Tess : Funny, I never got a check. Danny : You remember the day I went out for cigarettes and didn't come back? You must have noticed! [goes to sit down] Tess : I don't smoke. Don't sit! Tess : We need to get Rusty a girl. Rusty : There's a women's prison down the road! Danny : Does he make you laugh? Tess : He doesn't make me cry. Danny : Tess, you're doing a great job curating the museum, the Vermeer is quite good, simple, vibrant, but his work definitely fell off as he got older. Tess : Remind you of anyone? Danny : And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress? Tess : Monet. Danny : Right, and then Manet had syphilis. Tess : They also painted occasionally. Tess : You're a thief and a liar. Danny : I only lied about being a thief, and I don't do that anymore. Tess : Steal? Danny : Lie. Tess : You know what your problem is? Danny : I only have one? Tess : Danny was walking through the restaurant when he spotted me. Terry : Is that right? Danny : Yeah, imagine the odds. Terry : Of all the gin joints in all the world. Tess : You of all people should know Terry, in your hotel, there's always someone watching. Movie Title: Runaway Bride (1999) as Maggie Carpenter: Maggie Carpenter : You're a cynical, exploitive, mean-hearted creep who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit. Maggie Carpenter : A girl can't get married in flannel! Maggie Carpenter : Is there one 'right' person for everyone? Ike Graham : No, but I think attraction is mistaken for rightness. Maggie Carpenter : Bless me Father for I have sinned. My last confession was...well. Anyway, I have sorta a technical question. I've been having bad thoughts, really bad thoughts. Priest Brian : Of an impure nature? Maggie Carpenter : No, No, I want to destroy this man's life, career everything. I want revenge. Now on a sins scale how bad is that? Can I Hail Mary my way out of that? Maggie Carpenter : I am profoundly and irreversibly screwed up. Maggie Carpenter : Gill, I am really afraid of needles, but that doesn't make me a bad person... [Gill shows her his rose tattoo on his chest.] Ike Graham : Look, look! I think this man is heart broken! Peggy : Well, there is one thing that brings warmth to my heart. [pause] Peggy : Duckbill platypus. Maggie Carpenter : No... that's only funny at Camp Birchwood in the tent at three in the morning and it's raining and my leg is the pole! And at a tick hunt! It's not anymore. Peggy : Let's just give it a try. Maggie Carpenter : [while fighting with her veil] Who makes these things? Peggy : Calm down. The veil is not attacking you. Movie Title: Friends (1994) as Susie: Susie : Chandler Bing? Chandler : Do you know me or are you just really good at this game? Susie : I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. Chandler : Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look... great job growing up. Susie : How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over? Chandler : Because I went to an all-boys high school and God is making up for it. Movie Title: Mona Lisa Smile (2003) as Katherine Watson: Betty Warren : Don't disregard our traditions just because you're subversive. Katherine Watson : Don't disrespect this class just because you're married. Betty Warren : Don't disrespect me just because you're not. Katherine Watson : Come to class, do the work, or I'll fail you. Betty Warren : If you fail me, there will be consequences. Katherine Watson : Are you threatening me? Betty Warren : I'm educating you. Katherine Watson : That's my job. [From the trailer] Katherine Watson : I thought I was headed to a place that would turn out tomorrow's leaders, not their wives. [From the trailer] Katherine Watson : See past the paint, let us open our minds to a different idea. Katherine Watson : I don't think I can go a year without a hot plate. Movie Title: My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) as Julianne Potter: Kimmy's Mother: I insist you stay on for lunch. Julianne Potter : No, no, no, no, no... Absolutely -... George Downes : Love to! Love the bag, love the shoes, love everything. Love to! Julianne Potter : Michael... I love you. I've loved you for nine years, I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and... well, now I'm just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn't it? Michael O'Neill : Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just... Julianne Potter : Passes you by... Michael O'Neill : Passes you by... Julianne Potter : It is the duty of the best man to dance with the maid of honor. Michael O'Neill : Dance? You can't dance. When did you learn how to dance? Julianne Potter : I've got moves you've never seen. George Downes : Kindred spirits, eh? Julianne Potter : No, he's nothing like me. He's like you, actually, only straight. Julianne Potter : I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. Luckily, I woke up and I see that the world is just as it should be. For my best friend has won the best woman. I didn't buy you a gift. But this is on loan until you two find your song... Julianne Potter : I'm pond scum. Well, lower actually. I'm like the fungus that feeds on pond scum. Michael O'Neill : Lower. The pus that infects the mucus that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum. On the other hand, thank you for loving me that much, that way. It's pretty flattering. Julianne Potter : Except it makes me fungus. George Downes : Why don't we stop and have a drink? You can take a later flight. Julianne Potter : No, no, no, no. I'm a busy girl. I've got exactly four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride's fella and I haven't one clue how to do it. Julianne Potter : He just came in for few hours to uh, to uh, FUCK ME. George Downes : Huh! Takes a few hours. Julianne Potter : Crème brûlée can never be Jell-O. YOU could never be Jell-O. Kimmy Wallace : I HAVE to be Jell-O! Julianne Potter : You're never gonna be Jell-O! Julianne Potter : You're going to humiliate me, aren't you? George Downes : Only if I can. Kimmy Wallace : He sucks soup through his front teeth. Julianne Potter : That's a trademark move - don't touch that one. Kimmy Wallace : But he sure can kiss. Julianne Potter : This is my one chance at happiness. I have to be ruthless! Movie Title: Pretty Woman (1990) as Vivian: [Kit is trying to cheer up Vivian.] Vivian : Tell me one person who it's worked out for. Kit : What, you want like a name? A name, a name, the pressure of a name... I got it. Cindafuckin'rella Vivian : So, what's your name? Edward Lewis : Edward. Vivian : Really? That's my favorite name in the whole world. [At the beginning of the evening.] Vivian : In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight. [After negotiating three thousand dollars.] Vivian : I would have stayed for two thousand. Edward Lewis : I would have paid four. Vivian : I got red, I got green, I got yellow... I'm out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left... the condom of champions... the one and only... nothin' is gettin' through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm? Kit : You should go for him. You look hot tonight. Don't take less than $100. Call me when you're through. Take care of you. Vivian : Take care of you. [Vivian calls Kit.] Vivian : I called and called last night. Where were you?! Kit : Mom? Vivian : That would make you a... lawyer. Edward Lewis : What makes you think I'm a lawyer? Vivian : You have that sharp, useless look about you. Vivian : I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing. Lady at polo match: Edward is our most eligible bachelor, everyone is trying to land him. Vivian : Oh, I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex. Edward Lewis : How much for the entire night? Vivian : Stay here? You couldn't afford it. Edward Lewis : Try me. Vivian : 300 dollars. Edward Lewis : Done! Thank you. Now we can relax. Vivian : You know, you could pay me now, and break the ice. Vivian : Can I call you Eddie? Edward Lewis : Not if you expect me to answer. Edward Lewis : I told you not to pick up the phone. Vivian : Then stop calling me. Vivian : I'm gonna treat you so good, you're never gonna let me go. Vivian : You're late. Edward Lewis : You're stunning. Vivian : You're forgiven. Old Lady at Opera : Did you like the opera, dear? Vivian : It was so good, I almost peed my pants! Edward Lewis : She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance. Edward Lewis : So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her? Vivian : She rescues him right back. Vivian : People put you down enough, you start to believe it. Edward Lewis : I think you are a very bright, very special woman. Vivian : The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that? Edward Lewis : You can't charge me for directions! Vivian : I can do anything I want to baby, I ain't lost. Edward Lewis : A buffet of safety? Vivian : I'm a safety girl. [Edward stands up.] Vivian : Alright, let's get one of these on ya. Edward Lewis : I never treated you like a prostitute. [Walks away] Vivian : You just did. Edward Lewis : What's your name? Vivian : What do you want it to be? |
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