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 William Demarest QuotationMovie Title: Along Came Jones (1945) as George Fury: George Fury : Now wait a minute, Melody. You ain't got to be no dumber than necessary. Melody Jones : That would make me somebody, wouldn't it? George Fury : Get your dumb thumb out of my eye! Melody Jones : I was just trying to see if you was dead. George Fury : Well, I ain't! And I don't like someone trying to gouge my eye out. George Fury : Look Melody, you couldn't hit the hind end of your horse with a handful of buckshot and you know it. And you ain't a gunfighter, that's all. You ain't even a good shot. You're just a plain no good bronc stomper that's been hit in the seat of the pants so many times.... George Fury : You always want to shoot them in their right eye. It spoils their aim. George Fury : Who is it? Melody Jones : That used to be Packard, the Express Company fella. George Fury : Well that cinched the duck! Now they got a corpus delicti! Melody Jones : A what? George Fury : A dead body! That's the way the law says it. Corpus delicti. Means that if they got a corpse, you're delicti! Before this, even if they hung ya, we could have proved it was a mistake. George Fury : Who is she? Melody Jones : I've never seen her before. George Fury : That time in Cheyenne when you was kicked in the head and you was missing four days... are you sure you didn't marry somebody while you was out of your head? Melody Jones : I wasn't that far out of my head! Movie Title: The Great McGinty (1940) as The Politician: The Politician : If it wasn't for graft, you'd get a very low type of people in politics, men without ambition, jellyfish! Movie Title: All Through the Night (1942) as Sunshine: Barney : That friend of yours; how is he? Sunshine : Fine! He's dead. Movie Title: The Miracle of Morgan's Creek (1944) as Constable Kockenlocker: Constable Kockenlocker : Listen, zipper-puss, some day they're just gonna find your hair ribbon and an axe someplace. Nothing else. The mystery of Morgan's Creek. Constable Kockenlocker : Daughters. Phooey. Constable Kockenlocker : The trouble with kids is they always figure they're smarter than their parents - never stop to think if their old man could get by for 50 years and feed 'em and clothe 'em - he maybe had something up here to get by with - things that seem like brain twisters to you might be very simple for him. Movie Title: Whispering Smith (1948) as Bill Dansing: Murray Sinclair : Barney heard you'd been shot up. He asked after ya. Bill Dansing : Yeah, he seemed mighty disappointed when he heard you wasn't buried yet. Movie Title: My Three Sons (1960) as Charley O'Casey: Ernie Douglas : Do you think the house is going to miss us? Charley O'Casey : Sure, it'll miss us. The minute we're out of sight, it's going to start crying out of all the faucets. The neighbors will be selling tickets to see the crying house. Steve Douglas : I'd like to think the house is going to miss us, Charley. Charley O'Casey : Look, are we going to California, or are we going to stand around waving bye-bye to a pile of lumber? Steve Douglas : Charley's right, fellas. Let's all...let's all pile in. [They all climb into the car.] Chip Douglas : Boy, Dad. Steve Douglas : Now, Chip, when they transferred me to California, you fellas all thought it was a great idea, so... Well, there's no turning back now. Chip Douglas : I know. [to Ernie] Chip Douglas : Hey, Ernie, are you crying? Ernie Douglas : Heck, no. Tramp just breathed on me and steamed up my glasses. Movie Title: The Lady Eve (1941) as Muggsy: Stewart: Good morning, sir. Fruit, cereal, bacon and egg, egg and sausage, sausage and hot cake, hot cake and ham, ham and egg, egg and bacon, bacon and... Muggsy : Give me a spoonful of milk, a raw pigeon's egg, and four houseflies. If you can't catch any, I'll settle for a cockroach. Movie Title: Nine Girls (1944) as Walter Cummings: [Walter has spilled as much food as he's eaten] Walter Cummings : That was certainly a good meal. 'Butch' Hendricks : Yeah, and on you it looks good. Movie Title: That Darn Cat! (1965) as Wilbur MacDougall / Wilbur MacDougall(Mr. MacDougall): Kipp MacDougall(Mrs. MacDougall) : I distinctly heard a woman scream! Wilbur MacDougall(Mr. MacDougall) : Right, and if you don't get away from that door you're gonna hear another! Wilbur MacDougall(Mr. MacDougall) : Goodnight old woman! I can't hear a word you're saying, but whatever it is, I disagree with you one hundred percent! Wilbur MacDougall : Come on back in the house, Snoopy! Movie Title: Escape from Fort Bravo (1954) as Campbell: Cabot Young : You must have missed! Campbell : Naw, we just killed the same one twice! [takes aim and shoots Indian off his pony with one shot] Campbell : See what I mean? |
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