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 Anthony Ruivivar QuotationMovie Title: Third Watch (1999) as Carlos: Carlos : I would think people would covet me as a partner. Kim : Covet? Carlos : I know my stuff, I don't get in the way, I'm not above doing some of the dirty work. I definitely know the medical, the paperwork's not a problem. I'll drive if you want, I'll ride if you want. I'm flexible, and flexible is what you want in a partner. You remember that. Kim : Oh yeah, not to mention sexist, self-absorb, juvenile... Carlos : Juvenile? Kim : Yeah, Joey's more mature than you. Carlos : Don't even bring that up... You're a juvenile! [Carlos's girlfriend is pregnant] Doc : You know, there is one name for people like you. Carlos : Oh, yeah? What's that? Doc : DAD. [his eulogy] Carlos : Alex Taylor was, um... She was, um... She was a pain in the ass! I've never met anyone as stubborn as her. I mean, you couldn't tell her anything. Just this morning Doc told me that him and Lieutenant Johnson told her to get off that car like ten times. Ten times and she wouldn't do it. I remember hear... but I remember hearing her answer when they told her to get off. She said that the woman that she was with was afraid. Not that she was hurt badly or dying, but just afraid. Can you imagine risking your life so that another person isn't scared? I don't think I'll ever be capable of that kind of sacrifice, but... I'm gonna spend whatever time I have left trying to live up to that. Mrs. Taylor, I was with your daughter at the end, I held her hand. There was only one thing on her mind... you. She wanted me to tell you that it didn't hurt. That's all she wanted was for you to know. Her last thoughts were not of herself. She wanted to go out on her own terms. She wanted to leave a message and no one was going to stop her from doing that. Like I said, she was the most stubborn person I've ever met. Carlos : You know what I need? Alex : Lessons in basic social skills? [Bosco and Carlos attend compassion therapy] Carlos : What are you doing here? Bosco : You mean this isn't jazz-ersize class? Carlos : You've done this before? Bosco : I practically have reserved parking. [about Morales] Carlos : I told you I was interested. Doc : So what? What, now we're in the eighth grade and you called dibs? Carlos : "Dibs"? What the hell is dibs? Alex : Whose side are you on? Carlos : Duh! That would be the one with the funnier jokes! Alex : My mother... Carlos : It's gonna be okay. Alex : Tell her it didn't hurt. Carlos : What is better, that I was soft hearted, or that I was good at my job? Faith : What are you guys talking about? Carlos : Compassion. Faith : I guess it was a short conversation. [about Vangie] Carlos : The girl is four short of a six pack. For all I know she could show up nursing a Tickle Me Elmo telling me how it looks just like me. [about the doctor who gives him stitches] Carlos : Where the hell did that guy train, Baghdad? Doc : Be thankful you didn't need a rectal. [about Taylor's funeral] Carlos : You're supposed to speak. Doc : Oh, oh, I'm supposed to speak! Well, well what am I gonna say, Carlos? Huh? What am I gonna say, that - - that Taylor died because she was stupid? Yeah, that's it. That's it! She was too stupid to get down off a burning car after she was told ten times. Carlos : Doc, I... Doc : You know what? She... She didn't want to have anything to do with being a medic. She thought she was so much better than that because she was a firefighter. A real hero! Not one of us taxi drivers for the dying and the dead. She died doing what she hated! Pissing all over my chosen profession, and yours! How'd that make you feel Carlos? Because I hated it! It pissed me off! - - That's my eulogy... That's what I got! How you like it so far? Carlos : This is a righteous ride, man. Bosco : "Righteous"? Carlos : Yeah, what year is it? Bosco : The car or that word? [about the flies for his class project] Carlos : Put my virgins down. Carlos : Why did you want to become a fire - - um, person? Taylor : Uh, my dad made me do it? [Carlos laughs] Taylor : [holding up a knife that she was cutting a sandwich with] That's funny? Carlos : Not if it's not supposed to be. [after doing good deeds] Carlos : This is the way people who go to church must feel. [the one-armed man is running away with his arm handcuffed to his ankle] Yokas : We've got a foot pursuit, and uh, he claims to be armed. Carlos : He's only half right. Bosco : Oh, da - - Stumpy! Wait for me! Yokas : Fightin' crime. [about working with Sully] Davis : I feel like I'm riding around with my grandmother. Carlos : She's pretty quiet? Davis : Nah. She's a bitch. [after Carlos has been hanging out the window of a high rise holding onto someone] Carlos : What the hell took you so long? Jimmy : It's nice to see you, too. [about gauze pads Doc stole from a private ambulance] Doc : Gave in the sense they don't know I took 'em. Carlos : You stole them? Doc : I taught them a lesson in vehicle safety: Lock your doors! [about Doc letting Carlos drive] Carlos : It's a milk run. Doc : No lights, no siren. Carlos : I promise I'll bring it back with a full tank of gas Dad. Carlos : She got sideswiped by our bus. Morales : Let me guess, you were driving. Carlos : Uh, I don't suppose you could drive a little more smoothly? Doc : Well. I'm sorry. I guess we should have brought the Lexus today. [about Morales] Carlos : The woman gives me enough wood to build a boat. Doc : What? Carlos : A really nice boat. Carlos : Are you complimenting me? Doc : Hell, no! Carlos : Right. Carlos : What's the problem partner? Chet: I tied one on last night and I got a headache I can't shake. Carlos : Well, there's a screwdriver in your head. Chet: Yes sir, I noticed that. Doc : There's a Darwin award candidate. Carlos : Might even affect med. school. Doc : Oh, come on. How could it affect that? Carlos : I don't know. Maybe some kind of morals thing? Doc : Like them finding out you don't have any? [after Jimmy rappels down several floors to save Doc and Carlos] Carlos : This is a hell of a way to make a living. Jimmy : Don't tell the mayor... I'd do it for free. Carlos : At least today couldn't get any worse. Doc : Today I gotta apologize to Boscorelli. Carlos : We're being scolded for not bringing in enough junk to dump off on poor people. Bobby : I brought mine. Carlos : Big surprise, Mother Teresa. Kim : What sounds romantic? Davis : Sully's neighbor's got the hots for him. Kim : Ooh. Davis : Tatiana. Trying to figure out the right thing for them to do on their first date. Kim : Have sex. Sully : On the first date? Kim : Yeah, get it out of the way up front. You know, otherwise you're thinking about it, she's thinking about it. That way if it's lousy you don't have to waste any more time on a second date. Bobby : "Tatiana." Sounds exotic. Davis : She's Ukrainian. [Kim makes a purring noise] Bobby : Really? Hey Sully, not for nothing, but I knew this girl, Russian girl, she was a stripper. Nice, bro. They keep it real. Sully : All right! Will everybody just shut-up please? [Doc and Carlos walk in] Carlos : What about Russian girls? Sully : Nothing, Bobby : Sully got a hot Commie chick after him. Carlos : She have any friends? Doc : Friends that are desperate? [Doc gets Joy's number] Carlos : I know nothing. You rule! Carlos : I dropped a bottle of Epi last week. Doc : You dro... you threw it at me! Carlos : Well, you were being an ass again. Carlos : So we get waved down at a street corner about a month ago, this guy's yelling "I'm alive! I'm alive!". Yokas : That's a nice change of pace right there. Doc : Yeah, he told us he was the Lindbergh baby. Carlos : Doc doesn't miss a beat, right. Says [imitating Doc] Carlos : "The Lindbergh baby? Thank God we found you.". Bosco : You guys talking about the Lindbergh baby that was kidnapped? Yokas : No Bosco, the other one. Yokas : Carlos, there's like millions of dollars worth of heroin over here. Carlos : The old guy's a heroin dealer? Bosco : No, actually I'm guessing it was the guys with the guns. Carlos : Oh, yeah, right, right. Why would they keep it down here? Bosco : They strike you as geniuses? Carlos : The woman wanted to go with the man. They went together. It's TV movie of the week sad. The only thing missing is the Bulimic and the cancer kid. Doc : You have said some insensitive things, but I think you just hit that one out of the park. Jeneca: So which is it? Are you a habitual liar or an emotionally bankrupt human? Carlos : Which is worse? Carlos : What I don't need is for every med. school I apply to to find out I got fired from an emergency medical position because I'm an emotional black hole... Or they put a worse evaluation: "I'm cold, self-centered, and aloof." Doc : I wouldn't say that about you. Carlos : You did, two days after I met you. Taylor : Labels are so misleading. It's like how they call Rocky Road "Rocky Road" when really it's just some almonds and a couple chunks of chocolate in it. Carlos : There's marshmallows too. Taylor : Exactly. Carlos : We had some models earlier today. They invited us all to a party. Man, these chicks were hot, fire hot. There was like five of 'em. Two of them were into me. One liked Doc, but she was the ugly one. Carlos : Finders keepers. Doc : "Finders keepers"? Carlos : It's a well established legal principle. You find it, you keep it. Doc : Oh yeah, yeah. I think that was one of the cornerstones of the Magna Carta. Carlos : The what? Walsh: You know my neighbor's starting to cut my lawn now? I didn't ask him to, he just started doing it. Lombardo : Send him to my place. Carlos : How's he feel about painting? Walsh: I don't know, his place looks like crap. Lombardo : What about plumbing? I got a stopped toilet for about a week now. Jimmy : You do the same damn thing here, man. Walsh: What the hell do you eat, man? Lombardo : Your cooking. Jimmy : Now that makes you a hero. Walsh: Kiss my ass. Carlos : I'll make the beans. Doc : Yeah, here. But not too much brown sugar this time, okay? It's not a dessert item. Carlos : Maybe you should focus less this way and more on that fruit loop you got for a partner now. Doc : Hey, watch your mouth. Kim : [walks in] What's he talking about, a woman he has no chance with? Carlos : No, a breakfast cereal. Carlos : We got man things to discuss. Taylor : "Man things"? Don't make me kick your ass, Carlos. Taylor : Does she have a name? Carlos : Bird. Davis : Bird? Taylor : I can tell you two have really bonded. Carlos : Yeah. I'm not hung up on names. Carlos : [he finds out Davis isn't gay] I was gonna ask you if this outfit worked. Carlos : [after falling off the fire pole - voiceover] I thought I was dead. And that my own personal hell consisted of evil little midgets with sticky fingers, missing teeth, and pigtails... Children. Carlos : I never lost consciousness! Come on! Taylor : You called Jimmy "Charlene" and said you didn't want to go to school today. Doctor : What happened? Kim : 20 foot fall. He's got a lump, a scalp lac, and a big mouth. Carlos : [about Kylie] You need your formula, huh? Davis : I'm gonna tell you what she needs. She needs her own apartment, man. [looking at the pedophile in the ambulance] Carlos : I think I got that shirt. Kim : I never really thought about it. Lieutenant Zambrano, Lieutenant. Lieu. Carlos : Ooh, I just got chicken skin. Kim : Hey Lieu, got a minute? Carlos : It's a strange coincidence, don't you think? The two [Doc and Kim] Carlos : of you get on the promotion list at the same time. Kim : It's a test, Carlos. A civil service exam. Carlos : Yeah, but I mean, you know, what were you doing, having secret study groups or something? You could have at least told me about it. Kim : You're certifiable, you know that? Carlos : Oh, that means a lot coming from you, Lieu. Kim : Oh shut-up. Carlos : Yes sir. Kim : What the hell is chicken skin? Carlos : Big fire. Taylor : I should be in there fighting it. Carlos : Anything I can do to make that dream a reality, don't hesitate to ask. Taylor : Just keep being you. Doc : It's Boy Scout first aid. Shared body heat, skin to skin. Carlos : Uh, I was never in the Boy Scouts. Doherty? Jimmy : I'm driving. Carlos : [takes off his shirt] I swear, if either of you tell anybody about this... Jimmy : Oh, are you kidding me? When that lady pulls through she's gotta know. God, what I wouldn't do for a camera right now. Carlos : So what's this, a... queen? Davis : Yes, yes, a queen. A big old queen. [about a dead woman] Carlos : I called her a "pain in the ass". Doc : Well, she was a pain in the ass. Bosco : This the bozo with the Cadillac? Man : Officer finally... I wanna file a complaint. Bosco : Thats what I'm here for. [Doc and Carlos put tape across the mans eyebrows] Man : Is that necessary? On my eyebrows? Doc : In this case, yes it is sir. [Bosco and Carlos step aside] Bosco : What happened to him? Carlos : Rectal Cranial Inversion. Bosco : Excuse me? Carlos : He's got his head up his ass. He wants to go to the ER so he can file a claim. Bosco : So cut him loose. Carlos : We can't. We are obligated to take anyone that wants to go in. We'll talk to the doctors at the ER and make sure his injuries get treated in the time that they deserve. Then he waits in as much comfort as we can arrange. Bosco : Paramedic street justice, who knew? Carlos : I hope he peed recently. It's going to be a long day. Doc : More tape? Carlos : [throws a roll] Here you go. Bosco : [throws a roll] Hey take another one. [gives Bosco his uniform] Carlos : Jeez, it's freezing. Davis : Well, you're in your underwear, Carlos. Bosco : It's for a good cause. Carlos : Thank God I wore underwear today. Bosco : Okay... How do I look? Davis : I wouldn't let you work on me. Carlos : My first day I was a half an hour early. Kim : Yeah, and the fire guys made you stand right over there for the 30 minutes until we got here. Carlos : [points in opposite direction] No, no. It was more like over there. Carlos : Where were these girls when I was in high school? Kim : In kindergarten. Remember that. Carlos : [to Davis] I'm sorry I took so long to get ready, but I had a difficult time picking out which long johns go with mopping a firehouse. Carlos : Drive-thru plumbing supply store. I don't know if that idea's gonna catch on. Kim : All right, we gotta go to SoHo. Carlos : Do I look like a cabbie? Old Man: If you'll snuggle with me I'll feel better. Kim : Well, thanks, but it's kind of serious. Old Man: So who's the lucky fella. Carlos : He's a writer. He's your age. You might have a chance. Kim : By the way thanks for standing up for me back there... By saying that I looked good. Carlos : You ran me off for it! Kim : Still... That was perfect. Carlos : That was pretty good, wasn't it? Carlos : You realize I'm not arguing with you? Kim : Well, what would you do? Carlos : You're asking me? My opinion? Kim : Just this once. Carlos : This came for you. Kim : It's official. Carlos : Right. That's probably why the word "official" is stamped all over it in big, red letters. Kim : Play nice. [about Kylie] Carlos : How could one kid be so unlucky? To be born to a one sibling psycho and a foster care reject who has no family? Carlos : I was four. This old lady could have lived in a giant shoe and it wouldn't look familiar. [looking at Carlos's baby pictures] Doc : Oh, those ears. Lucinda Harding : The boys teased him something terrible. They called him Cups because they stuck out like that. Carlos : Cups? Lucinda Harding : Now that was a brooding child if I ever saw one. Sweet enough, but not so affectionate. Always off on his own. Sort of self-involved. Doc : You've come a long way, Cups. Carlos : Man, it's gotta suck to spend Christmas in the hospital, huh? Doc : Better than the morgue. Carlos : Wow. You've developed this knack for stating the obvious. Davis : Hey, Carlos, you wouldn't happen to have like, big bolt-cutters on the rig? Carlos : Sorry. Monroe : Got a flashlight? Carlos : Nope. Sully : Band-Aids - - Adhesive tape? [about Doc] Kim : He seems incredibly happy. Carlos : Why wouldn't he be? He was right again. Davis : Families are rough. Carlos : They should come with warning labels. Davis : If they did who'd ever have one? Carlos : Do you understand what you've done? Doc : Yeah, yeah. I'm keeping them from closing the house, just like I told you I would. Carlos : You shot a man! Doc : Yeah, I had to. Carlos : Had to? That's - - You might need real help! Doc : It's gotta be eight more minutes, and I thought you'd understand. Carlos : Here's what I do understand - - I'm not letting this man die on the floor of my firehouse. Doc : Hey, you better sit back down Carlos. Carlos : If he dies, you're a murderer! Doc : Sit down! Carlos : You wanna shoot me? Shoot me. Dr. Breene : I know you have to get to work, but I just wanted to talk to you, together, for a few minutes first. Carlos : This another voluntary session that I have to attend? Carlos : [to Dr. Breen] Listen? I had a cop in my bus last night. He died. While I was talking to him, he just died, and I don't know why. Medically, I just don't understand it. I need Monte Parker here so I can ask him to explain it to me. Because he'd probably know. That's what he was to me. He's the only person I talk to. Carlos : Have they invited us back in yet? Holly Levine : Yeah. A week ago. Carlos : What? No one told me! Walsh: It was so much funnier watching you freeze your ass off. Carlos : Oh, nice! Nothing I like more than a good joke at my expense. [about to get punched by a cop] Carlos : Not the face! Carlos : Look. I respect how much you loved your old detail. But we aren't any country club. Grace Foster : Yeah. Okay. Carlos : Don't walk away from me! Come here. You know what? None of us were born the day that you got here. You don't know anything about us. You have no idea how many calls we take, how many lives we've saved and lost, how many bullets we've dodged. No matter how minor you manage to make it all sound! I don't care whether you came from Bed-Stuy or Baghdad. You're not gonna minimize my experience here just because it's not yours. So you either learn to respect us the way that we respect you, or just keep your mouth shut until you've clawed your way back to that warzone where you'd rather be! You got that? [to Kim] Grace Foster : Guy's got stones. [to Grace] Holly Levine : Watching Carlos scream at other drivers all night can really help your résumé. Carlos : They're idiots! Carlos : I'm about to get it and there you are with some stupid comment. Holly Levine : You know what? You're right. That's what keeps Grace from jumping all over you. Carlos : So stop it, all right? Holly Levine : No way is it that stupid haircut or the disgusting way you lick your lips when you're talking to her. Or the way you never look higher than her chest or lower than her ass, or just your general creepiness you get whenever you're around any woman. That slimy look you get in your eyes like we're all just hunks of meat in a deli display case and you haven't eaten in years. That is all very attractive. In fact, I'm sure that you're the man Grace Foster's been looking for all her life. Carlos : I don't have a stupid haircut. |
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