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 Isaac Hayes QuotationMovie Title: Ninth Street (1999) as Tippytoe: Tippytoe : Nothing lasts forever; even iron wears out. Movie Title: The Rockford Files (1974) as Gandolph Finch: Marcus Hayes : You have a hair-trigger, Mr.Finch. Gandolph Finch : That's right, mouth... and you're sitting on the edge of a big disaster. Marcus Hayes : I like him Jimmy. He's got pluck. Movie Title: Dr. Dolittle 2 (2001) as Possum: Racoon : Hey Doc. These are some nice wheels here what do ya call this thing? Dr. Dolittle : Oh, this is a Mustang. Possum : Hey Doc is there a car named after me? Dr. Dolittle : Naw, I don't think they make a Possum. Possum : WHY NOT? Dr. Dolittle : They usually don't make cars named after rodents. Movie Title: I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988) as Hammer: Rib Joint Customer : How much for a soda? Hammer : One dollar. Rib Joint Customer : Okay, how about you give me a sip for fifteen cents? Hammer : My cups cost more than fifteen cents! Rib Joint Customer : Okay, fuck the cup, how about you just pour it in my hands for a dime? Hammer : Spade, we ain't heroes no more! We're businessmen. John Spade : You two big motherfuckers in here cookin' red beans and grits; you call that business? Hammer : Man, you really know how to hurt a guy. Movie Title: Escape from New York (1981) as The Duke: The Duke : They sent in their best man, and when we roam out the 69th street bridge tomorrow, on our way to freedom, we're going to have their best man leading the way - from the neck up! Movie Title: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990) as Himself: [Will just cancelled his "Shaft" wedding with Lisa] Will : Look, Lisa, I want to marry you, but definitely not like this. Lisa : Right on. Will : Oh, by the way, dude, your Isaac Hayes impression stinks. Himself : Oh, I don't know. I thought it was pretty good. Movie Title: South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999) as Chef: Chef : Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? General : I don't listen to hip-hop. General : Battalion #1! Step forward! [All black soldiers step forward] General : You are now ready for Operation Human Shield! Battalion #2! Step forward! [All white soldiers step forward] General : You are now ready for Operation Stay Behind The Darkies! Chef : Didn't you ever hear about the Emancipation Proclamation? General : I don't listen to hip-hop! Chef : [singing] Everything worked out/What a happy end/Canadians and Americans are friends again. Satan : You have spilled the blood of the innocent. Now begins two million years of Darkness. Chef : Oh, good job Mrs. Broslofski. Thanks a lot! Stan : Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy? Chef : Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris. Stan : Huh? Chef : Whoops. Movie Title: Final Judgement (1992) as Lt.Herb Jefferson: Lt.Herb Jefferson : A pistol-packing priest? Father Tyrone : Fastest gun in the pulpit. Movie Title: Truck Turner (1974) as Truck Turner: Annie : So, this is your idea of a good night, huh. Get me drunk and then screw me. Truck Turner : Okay, okay, we'll get something to eat first. Movie Title: South Park (1997) as Chef: Chef : [singing] Say everybody have you seen my balls/They're big and salty and brown./If you ever need a quick pick-me-up./Just put my balls in your mouth./Ooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls (Stick 'em in your mouth)/Put 'em in your mouth and you suck 'em and you suck 'em. Chef : You've got to hold the football like you would hold your lover. Gently, yet firmly. You wanna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh, yes. Just like making sweet love to the football. Be naughty with the football. Mmmm, spank it. Ever so gently. Spank it. Oh, uh, sorry, children. Jimbo : Uh-oh. Chef : You know, Kathie Lee, you are a very special woman. I don't mean special in a Mary Tyler Moore way, or special in an extra value meal at Happy Burger way. No, no, no, no, no. I mean special, like the song of a hummingbird as it gets ready to find that female hummingbird and make sweet love to it all night long. Just two hummingbirds moaning and groaning and letting their bodies caress and touch each other in ecstasy. [sings] Chef : Oh Kathie Lee / How I'd love to lay you down / And lick every inch of your body with my tongue. / Kathie Lee, you're my sexual fantasy. / How 'bout you and me get it together and make sweet love? [Addressing an alien spacecraft] Chef : Hey, down here. We are ready for your wisdom. And you only got twenty minutes before Sanford and Son is on. [Watching an elephant have sex with a pig] Chef : Now I know how all those white women must have felt. Chef : I've seen this kind of thing before. It's the living dead. Observe. [pulls a patient's arm off] Eye Doctor: Mr. Phillips was in here for a routine exam. Officer Barbrady : Any questions? Chef : That's biggest piece of cah-cah many bull-spit I've ever heard. Officer Barbrady : That's enough out of you wise guy. Chef : Try my newest concoction, I Just Went And Fuged Your Mama. Cartman : Boy, he sure ran that into the ground. [Chef bursts in on the Mayor and Officer Barbrady] Mayor : Why Chef, what a surprise. Officer Barbrady : You're probably wondering why we're standing here with a pile of money and no pants on. Chef : Actually, uh... Mayor : Well, I can assure you that it has absolutely nothing to do with the Japanese mafia. Officer Barbrady : Not a thingy-dingy. Stan : Chef, what's a prostitute? Chef : Dag nabbit, Children. How come every time you come in here you gotta be asking me questions I shouldn't be answering? "Chef, what's a clitoris?" "What's a lesbian, Chef?" "How come they call it a rim-job, Chef?" For once, can't you come in here and say, "Hi, Chef. Nice day, isn't it?" Stan : Hi, Chef. Nice day, isn't it? Chef : It sure is. Thank you. Stan : Chef, what's a prostitute? Chef : Wife got you down? Boss makin' you angry? Kids yellin' at you? Well, fudge 'em. Kathie Lee Gifford : How about giving me some more of that sweet loving Chef. Chef : DAMN WOMAN! I just gave you sweet loving five minutes ago. Are you trying to kill me? Chef : What the hell are you doing dressed like that, boy? Cartman : I'm trying to get some candy. Chef : Get in here. Remind me to whoop your ass good next time I see you. Chef : How long until we get to Washington? Mrs Crabtree : Sit down kid! Chef : I just want to know how far it is to Washington? Mrs Crabtree : I SAID SIT DOWN KID! Chef : I just want to know how far it is to Washington you fat hog. Mrs Crabtree : WHAT DID YOU SAY? Chef : I said I wish I could go to Prague. Mrs Crabtree : So do I. Chef : James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here! Movie Title: Once Upon a Time... When We Were Colored (1995) as Preacher Hurn: Preacher Hurn : If you call Jesus, his line is never busy. |
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