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 Gorden Kaye QuotationMovie Title: 'Allo 'Allo! (1982) as René: Hans : Do you not see? That if you kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the gâteau from the château. René : Simple plans are always the best. [repeated line] René : You stupid woman. Edith : Rene, Michelle told me horrible news . Now, when I heard it I look ten years older. René : You always look ten year older. Officer Crabtree : I have good nose. René : Yes, you are very handsome... Officer Crabtree : The troon has been bummed by the RAF. [upon seeing Leclerc's latest disguise] René : Man of a thousand faces... every one the same. René : Yes, we are both from Nancy. We're just a couple of Nancy boys. Hans : Rene. That is the jug with the drug. René : After all that has happened, I could use a little aspirin. René : We will stick out like a carrot in an omelet. René : Yvette, Maria. Will you help this exceedingly ancient woman before she kicks the bucket in my café? [Helga has come to the cafe to talk to Rene, when a clattering noise is heard from outside] Pvt. Helga Geerhart : What was that? René : Just the phantoms falling over the dustbins. Col. Kurt Von Strom : You are exceeding your authority. The Gestapo has no jurisdiction over senior officers of the German Army. Capt. Hans Geering : Or junior officers. René : What about café owners? Capt. Hans Geering : They can do what they like with them. René : This is my wife, Edith. I have told her everything. Michelle Dubois : Will she talk? René : Incessantly. But not about anything important. Edith Artois : Tonight I will sing as I have never sung before. René : What, in tune? Col. Von Strom : If you will tell me the names of the Resistance leaders, I will see that you are protected. René : Protected? Against who? Col. Von Strom : Me. René : But colonel I do not know their names. They are mostly girls. They wear McIntoshes and little short white socks and berets like any other french girl. And they only reveal themselves at night. Capt. Hans Geering : Like any other french girl. Col. Von Strom : I wish I could get my hands on them! Capt. Hans Geering : We both do. [Colonel Von Strohm has complemented Madam Edith] René : The Colonel is drunk early this evening! [Yvette has brought more hot water for Rene's bath] Yvette Carte-Blanche : The old boiler is in a terrible state. René : I don't know why I married her in the first place. [Michelle and Rene are about to play a frame of snooker] Michelle Dubois : What is the biggest break you've had on this table? René : Just now, when my wife swallowed that story about the light bulb. [Rene has covered the Gateau for the Kaiser's birthday with sand] General Erich Von Klinkerhoffen : You fool! What do you think you are doing? René : I did this in memory of the day that the Kaiser was buried. [Rene is shaving in the bathroom when there is a knock on the door] Yvette Carte-Blanche : Rene, what are you doing? René : Cutting my throat, my love. Lieutenant Hubert Gruber : Madame Edith has an unusual voice, René. Was it trained? René : Oh yes. But it escaped and returned to the wild. [Edith has suggested that Rene strap dynamite to himself, in order to blow up the General] Edith Artois : You will be buried as a great hero of France! René : First you will have to scrape me of the wall! |
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