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 Harold Sylvester QuotationMovie Title: An Officer and a Gentleman (1982) as Perryman: Topper : Who the hell is that guy? Perryman : That's your momma and daddy for the next thirteen weeks. Movie Title: Vision Quest (1985) as Tanneran: Tanneran : I think you're dehydrated. Louden Swain : No, I'm just the victim of a screwed-up nitrogen imbalance. Plus, I think I've contracted priapism. Tanneran : What's priapism? Louden Swain : It's a disease of a constant erection. [Tanneran giggles] Louden Swain : It's not funny, believe me! The girl of my dreams lives under my own roof, but she thinks I'm just a kid, a dumb jock, all of which is more or less true. I'm dying, Mr. Tanneran, just like that girl in the poem... only quicker, and with a hard-on. Movie Title: Married... with Children (1987) as Griff: Jefferson : Al, when are we going to stop sipping this beer and start drinking it? Griff : Yeah, all this beer foreplay is making me thirsty. Ike : What's foreplay? Bob Rooney : It's the act that comes right before sex. It lasts... about ten seconds. Ike : Well then what's sex? Griff : Al, if I don't make it, would you look up my ex-wife and... Al : Tell her that you love her? Griff : No. Tell her she's a bitch. Griff : I'm Griff X. Calvin Farquar: X as in civil rights leader Malcolm X? Griff : No, X as in screwed over by the Ex. Griff : Bud, did I ever tell you that I was Dorothy in my high school production of The Wiz? Bud : All male school? Griff : No. Al : Griff, girls like that are a dime a dozen. Griff : Here's a dime, bring me a dozen. Psycho Dad: Yes, quit. Quit, apologize, and renounce forever the character of Psycho Dad. If this is the kind of following that I inspire, then I'm afraid I must stop leading. However, since the network's offering me big bucks, be sure to watch me in my new show: "Lefkowitz: Special Education Teacher's Aid". Thank you. And to you, Al: goodbye, and, uh, get help. Ike : I can't believe Psycho Dad would sell us out. Al : That's not Psycho Dad talking. He doesn't use words like "character" or "education" or "Lefkowitz". He's been brainwashed by people like Marcy and her do-gooders. Well, we've got to think of something. Griff : Use the power of our giant manly brains? Al : No, that'll take too long. Al : All right, listen. We've got two young, eager boys hanging around us. You know what that makes us? Griff : Michael Jackson? Griff : Al, lighten up. You didn't have a problem when Kelly dated that wealthy older man. Al : I wouldn't have a problem if BUD dated a weathy older man. Anybody but Gary. |
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