|
|
|
|
 |
|
 Edward Norton Quotation"Acting? It's a longstanding compulsion I've had since I was about five or six years old. I can literally identify the moment it struck me. I went to see a play [If I Were a Princess] in which a babysitter of mine [Betsy True, who later acted on Broadway] was performing. I was completely shell-shocked by the magic of this little community-theater play; it just riveted me." "I don't smoke and I don't want to smoke. I am not a fan of gratuitous smoking in films." "Life, like poker has an element of risk. It shouldn't be avoided. It should be faced." "If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack." "Fame is very corrosive and you have to guard very strictly against it." "I've never felt any particular encroachment of the 'celebrity' stuff into my life." "I'm an actor and, each time out, I'm trying to convince the audience that I'm this character. Every little thing that people know about you as a person impedes your ability to achieve that kind of terrific suspension of disbelief that happens when an audience goes with an actor and character [he's] playing." "The more you can create that magic bubble, that suspension of disbelief, for a while, the better." "It's a nice position to be in; I'm lucky. At the same time, all the excitement of that has been put into stark perspective ... In some ways, the highs of it have been blunted, which in a way, is a gift." "First of all, you never make all things for all people and can't always pander to the broadest denominator. I keep an eye toward doing the themes that interest me. Do they move me? Interest me? Make me think? When I run across something that is provocative in an unsettling way, it appeals to me." "People wrestle sometimes making movies, and I think that conflict is a very essential thing. I think a lot of very happy productions have produced a lot of very banal movies." "I'm not interested in making movies for everybody. I like making movies for myself and my friends and people with my sensibility." Movie Title: Rounders (1998) as Lester 'Worm' Murphy / Worm: Mike McDermott : Would you stop fucking around, for five goddamn minutes for once in your fucking life? Worm : Whoa, Jesus, what happenend? My old man just walked in. Lester 'Worm' Murphy : Where did you come up with the scratch for that? You've been rolling fags in the Village again, haven't you? Worm : She's really got him by the balls. Petra : That's not so bad, is it? Worm : It depends on the grip! [Mike's girlfriend has just left him over his broken promise not to play poker] Worm : You know what always cheers me up? Mike McDermott : No, what's that? Worm : Rolled up aces over kings. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. Playing all-night high-limit Hold'em at the Taj, "where the sand turns to gold." Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over. Mike McDermott : Fuck it, let's go. Worm : Don't tease me. Mike McDermott : Let's play some cards. Worm : Yes! Worm : Hey! If you want to see this seventh card you're gonna stop speakin' fuckin' Sputnick. Worm : I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the fuckin' rake. Mike McDermott : What the fuck are you talkin' about. What saying? Worm : I-I don't know. There ought to be one though. Movie Title: Red Dragon (2002) as Will Graham: Will Graham : I might not have time. Hannibal Lecter : I do. I have oodles. [from the trailer] Will Graham : I thought you might enjoy the challenge. Find out if you're smarter than the person I'm looking for. Hannibal Lecter : Then, by implication, you think you're smarter than I am, since it was you who caught me. Will Graham : No, I know I'm not smarter than you. Hannibal Lecter : Then how did you catch me? Will Graham : You had... disadvantages. Hannibal Lecter : What disadvantages? Will Graham : You're insane. Will Graham : There's nothing wrong with you... except your hair. Your hair is a train wreck. Will Graham : I need your opinion now. Hannibal Lecter : Then here's one... you stink of fear and that cheap lotion. You stink of fear Will, but you're not a coward. You fear me, but still you came here. You fear this shy boy, yet still you seek him out. Don't you understand, Will? You caught me because we're very much alike. Without our imaginations, we'd be like all those other poor... dullards. Fear... is the price of our instrument. But I can help you bear it. Will Graham : He's not collecting body parts. He's eating them. Dr. Frederick Chilton : Tell me, when you saw Lecter's murders, their style, so to speak, were you able perhaps to reconstruct his fantasies? And, if so, did you jot down any impressions? Will Graham : No. Dr. Frederick Chilton : Let me be frank, Mr. Graham. The first definitive analysis of Lecter will be a publisher's wet dream. I'd give you full credit, of course [Graham towards cell door] Dr. Frederick Chilton : Dammit, man, you must have some advice. You caught him. What was your trick? Will Graham : I let him kill me. Will Graham : What is taking him so long? Molly : Are you kidding? It takes him 20 minutes to get out of bed in the morning. Will Graham : Yeah, but now I have a serious marshmallow jones. Will Graham : He's not going to stop. Police officer: Why? Will Graham : Because it makes him God. Movie Title: The Score (2001) as Jackie Teller: Jackie Teller : So did you make it out? Nick Wells : Fuck you. Movie Title: The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996) as Isaacman / Alan Isaacman: Isaacman : Unpopular speech is absolutely vital to the health of our nation. Isaacman : Larry, thousands of people petition the Supreme Court, OK? Thousands. Larry Flynt : Yeah, and our case is as good as any. Isaacman : Our case is better than most, you're missing my point, and that is they will never pick you. Because you're a nightmare. They're afraid if they let you in there, you're gonna wear a diaper, or throw oranges at the justices, and they should be, Larry, because in all the times you've gone to the court asking for help, you've never once demonstrated any respect for its institutions and procedures. [Isaacman on the phone with Flynt] Alan Isaacman : Listen, I'm sitting here with the eminently reasonable District Attorney of the state of Georgia. [Larry makes an off screen comment on the other end of the line] Alan Isaacman : Right. He's very impressed by your conversion, he wants to cut us a plea bargain. Larry Flynt : A plea bargain? Because I've found God? Isaacman : Larry, listen to me for a second: Don't argue with me on this, ok. Just say yes because I've pulled a lot of strings to make this happen. Larry Flynt : Is he sitting there with you? Isaacman : Yes, he is. Larry Flynt : Would you do me a favor? Just tell that miserable old gray-haired bastard to go fuck himself, we're going to trial. Isaacman : Ok, right. Larry Flynt : Oh, and praise the lord. Alan Isaacman : Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard a lot toady, and I'm not gonna go back over it, but you have to go into that room and make some decisions. But before you do, there's something you need to know. I am not trying to suggest that you should like what Larry Flynt does. I don't like what Larry Flynt does, but what I do like is the fact that I live in a country where you and I can make that decision for ourselves. I like the fact that I live in a country where I can pick up Hustler magazine and read it, or throw it in the garbage can if that's where I think it belongs. Alan Isaacman : I'm not trying to convince you to like what Larry Flynt does. I don't like what Larry Flynt does. Movie Title: 25th Hour (2002) as Monty Brogan: Monty Brogan : Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends. Monty Brogan : [looking in mirror] Well fuck you too. Monty Brogan : No. No. Fuck you Montgomery Brogan. You had it all, and you threw it away, you dumb fuck! [Monty standing in the men's bathroom talking to himself in the mirror] Monty Brogan : Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Hasidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass! Monty Brogan : I need you to make me ugly. Movie Title: Keeping the Faith (2000) as Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram : Oy. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : Amen to your oy. Indian Bartender : Let me guess. Your wife left you and took the kids. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : It's a little more complicated than that. Indian Bartender : Sure it is. Everyone thinks his story is the one with a twist. Well let me tell you, I've heard just about everything there is to... [Brian unzips his jacket, revealing his priest's collar] Indian Bartender : Holy shit. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : Sometimes we don't see certain things until we're ready to see them in a certain way. [Brian, a celibate priest, confesses his love for Anna, to Jake's astonishment] Jacob : I mean, she's like your sister! Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : Thank you for adding new depth to my confusion. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : Is this a good machine? Don : Yeah, that one good. If you a cheap bastard! No, that one OK, but if you serious about CAR-O.K., then there only one machine for you. The Audio 3000! This baby got multiple inputs, dual pitch analyzer, so you can change the pitch, if your voice sucks, but I don' need that. Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram : How much does it cost? Don : PRICE IS NOT IMPORTANT! Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : No, price is very important. How much... does it cost... exactly? Don : OK, OK, you got me, take me away. It's a little bit expensive, but it's worth it. When you sing, to your girlfriend, and her heart WaBOOM, fall down on the floor, you say THANK YOU DON! Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : You're a Sikh, Catholic, Muslim, with Jewish in-laws. Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram : Jews want their rabbis to be the kind of Jews they don't have the time to be. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : Yeah, and Catholics want their priests to be the kind of Catholics they don't have the discipline to be. Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram : What happened to our youth? Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : I'm telling you, it ended at 30, pal. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : Well thank you for waiting to tell me, because it's definitely less weird for me now. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : You must think I'm such an idiot! Anna Riley : No, Brian! Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : No, no no, I think I'm an idiot! Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : I'm Irish! This is milk to me baby! Milk! Paulie Chopra : I would like to thank you for telling me that story. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : Why? Paulie Chopra : Because now I can retire. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : I don't doubt myself because of you. I feel like the best version of myself when I'm with you, and that makes me doubt everything else. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : I feel like I'm on some bad new Aaron Spelling show - "Melrose Priest." Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram : You're in love with her? Father Brian Kilkenney Finn : [to himself] No one seems to have picked up on this. It's very strange. Movie Title: Death to Smoochy (2002) as Sheldon: Sheldon : I'll be in my office, the big one with a view! Nora : They all have views, you dumb shit! Sheldon : Not looking this way, cupcake! Sheldon : When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. Sheldon : [Singing] He slams the door He stomps his feet He sends me to bed with zilch to eat But my stepdad's not mean he's just adjusting. Sheldon : So remember kids, a stepdad is a lot like a new puppy. They need patience and love while they adjust to their new surroundings. But remember - if he is ever abusive to you or mommy, what are the magic numbers? Kids: 9-1-1! Sheldon : Thaaaaaaat's right! Sheldon : Captain Kangaroo, like Jesus Christ, was someone you could really believe in. With those guys it wasn't about the bells and whistles and the rickety rackety, it was all about the work. Especially Jesus. Sheldon : Now I'm not pointing any fingers, Lord knows you start pointing fingers and someone's gonna get poked. And I want you both to know that its not my intention to try and... poke either of you. Sheldon : You can't change the world but you can make a dent. Sheldon : Someone toss me a beach towel because my head is swimming. Sheldon : Don't talk to me like that, I am not your puppet. Sheldon : Let's face it. Big junkies come from little junkies. We gotta nip this in the bud, Burke! Bartender : I never saw anyone get buzzed off of orange juice. Sheldon : Let me tell you a secret - if you squirt a little liquid alfalfa in, it's blast off time. Sheldon : Has anyone ever suggested that maybe a little yoga, maybe a high colonic or two could loosen you up a lot? Burke : You're gonna be so rich you'll be pissing on hundred dollar bills just to see the look on Franklin's face! Sheldon : I don't think I could do that. I have much too much respect for the things that man has accomplished. Tommy : This I guarantee: That fuckin' Randolph has seen his last rainbow. We're going to find him, cut off his balls, and shove 'em up his ass. Sheldon : Well, maybe we should leave that for the cops, Tommy. Roy : Cops won't do the ball thing, it's against procedure. Sheldon : You work for Kidnet? Are you serious? Nora : As a heart attack. Randolph : He's a pillow-biter, you know. Sheldon : I wouldn't know anything about his sleeping disorders. Randolph : Didn't she tell you of the love we once had. Passionate yet tender, old-fashioned yet experimental. Sheldon : Randolph, you have lost your mind. Randolph : Oh, enlighten the lad, Nora. You were such a hot little brood mare, does the bridle still fit? Sheldon : Hey, watch your mouth mister! Nora : What experiments? I've had firmer handshakes, ya drunk. Randolph : Please, it's small but, it's fierce! Randolph : What about Wally the Whale? Sheldon : Laura, how could you do it with Wally the Whale? Randolph : There she blows! Sheldon : I don't believe this is happening. I can't believe you didn't tell me about this. Nora : Listen, Sheldon, I'm not proud of it but, there was a time in my life when I was a bit of a kiddie host groupie. Movie Title: American History X (1998) as Derek Vinyard: Cameron : This is stupid. Go cool off, get laid, do something, comeback when you're ready to talk. Derek Vinyard : Yeah, but it really doesn't matter if I do does it, 'cause you got a whole crop already lined up you fuckin' chicken hawk! Cameron : Excuse me? Derek Vinyard : You prey on people Cam. I lost three years of my life for your fuckin' phony cause but I'm onto you know you fuckin' snake. Cameron : Hey watch it Derek, this isn't some fuckin' country club where you can walk in and outta here... Derek Vinyard : Shut up! Shut Up! Shut the fuck up, I came here for one reason, to tell you that I'm out, and Danny's out too and if you come near him again, I'll fuckin' kill you. Derek Vinyard : One in every three black males is in some phase of the correctional system. Is that a coincidence or do these people have, you know, like a racial commitment to crime? Derek Vinyard : We're so hung up on this notion that we have some obligation to help the struggling black man, you know. Cut him some slack until he can overcome these historical injustices. It's crap. I mean, Christ, Lincoln freed the slaves, like, what? 130 years ago. How long does it take to get your act together? Derek Vinyard : Every night, thousands of these parasites stream across the border like some fuckin' pinata exploded. [the skinheads laugh] Derek Vinyard : Don't laugh! There's nothin' funny goin' on here! [the skinheads immediately quiet down] Murray : What are you doing Derek? This is your family. Derek Vinyard : Right, my family so you know what? I don't give two shits about you or anyone else or what they think. You're not a part of it and you never will be. Murray : That has nothing to do with it! Derek Vinyard : Oh it doesn't? You don't think I see what you're trying to do here? You think I'm gonna sit here and smile while some fuckin' kike tries to fuck my mother? It's never gonna happen Murray, fuckin' forget it, not on my watch, not while I'm still in this family. I will fuckin' cut your Shylock nose off and stick it up your ass before I let that happen. Coming here and poison my family's dinner with your Jewish, Nigger-lovin', hippie bullshit. Fuck you! Fuck you! Yeah, walk out, asshole, fuckin' Cabala reading motherfucker. Get the fuck out of my house. [Danny walks in on Derek and Stacey having sex] Danny Vinyard : [whispering] Der. Derek. Stacey : Jesus, Danny! Fuckin' perv. Derek Vinyard : Jesus, Danny. What the fuck are you thinking? Danny Vinyard : There's a black guy breaking into your car. Derek Vinyard : How many are there? [Derek quickly pulls on white boxers and black combat boots] Danny Vinyard : I don't know. I think one. Derek Vinyard : Is he strapped? Danny Vinyard : What? Derek Vinyard : Does he have a fucking gun Danny? Danny Vinyard : I don't fuckin' know, man. [Derek pulls out a gun from his dresser drawer] Stacey : Oh, my God Derek what are you doing? Derek Vinyard : Not right now honey. Derek Vinyard : Nigger, you just fucked with the wrong bull. You should've learned your lesson on the fuckin' basketball court. But you fuckin' monkey's never get the message. My father gave me that truck motherfucker! You ever shoot at fireman? You come here and shoot at my family? I'm gonna teach you a real lesson now motherfucker. Put your fuckin' mouth on the curb. Lawrence : Come on man. Derek Vinyard : Put it on the curb right now! Danny Vinyard : Derek, no! Derek Vinyard : Now say good night. [Derek stomps Lawrence's head into the curb] Cameron : You made the fat kid a little nervous. He thinks the joint messed with your mind. Derek Vinyard : It did. [On Derek's change in prison] Danny Vinyard : I'm sorry, Derek. I'm sorry that happened to you. Derek Vinyard : I'm not. I'm lucky. I feel lucky because it's wrong, Danny. It's wrong and it was eating me up, it was going to kill me. And I kept asking myself all the time, how did I buy into this shit? It was because I was pissed off, and nothing I ever did ever took that feeling away. I killed two guys, Danny, I killed them. And it didn't make me feel any different. It just got me more lost and I'm tired of being pissed off, Danny. I'm just tired of it. Derek Vinyard : D'you see this? [Pulls down shirt to reveal huge swastika tattoo on his chest] Derek Vinyard : This means "Not welcome". Movie Title: Fight Club (1999) as Narrator: Narrator : You wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor International. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? Narrator : I am Jack's smirking revenge. Narrator : First person that comes out this fucking door gets a... gets a LEAD SALAD, you understand? Richard Chesler : Is that your blood? Narrator : Some of it, yeah. Narrator : I felt like destroying something beautiful. Narrator : When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake. Narrator : On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. Narrator : [about the "soap"] Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them. Narrator : When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just... Marla Singer : - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak? Narrator : Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you? Tyler Durden : C'mon, do me this one favor. Narrator : Why? Tyler Durden : Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You? Narrator : No, but that's a good thing. Tyler Durden : No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve. Narrator : This is crazy. Tyler Durden : So go crazy. Let 'er rip. Narrator : I don't know about this. Tyler Durden : I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care? Narrator : Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you? Tyler Durden : That's right. Narrator : What, like in the face? Tyler Durden : Surprise me. Narrator : This is so fucking stupid... [Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head] Tyler Durden : Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear! Narrator : Well, Jesus, I'm sorry. Tyler Durden : Ow, Christ... why the ear, man? Narrator : Guess I fucked it up... Tyler Durden : No, that was perfect! [Tyler and Narrator are discussing ideal opponents] Tyler Durden : OK: any historic figure. Narrator : I'd fight Gandhi. Tyler Durden : Good answer. Narrator : How about you? Tyler Durden : Lincoln. Narrator : Lincoln? Tyler Durden : Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger. Narrator : A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one. Business woman on plane : Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents? Narrator : You wouldn't believe. Business woman on plane : Which car company do you work for? Narrator : A major one. Tyler Durden : Did you know that if you mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm? Narrator : No, I did not know that; is that true? Tyler Durden : That's right... One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items. Narrator : Really...? Tyler Durden : If one were so inclined. Narrator : Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving... Tyler Durden : Oh I get it, it's very clever. Narrator : Thank you. Tyler Durden : How's that working out for you? Narrator : What? Tyler Durden : Being clever. Narrator : Great. Tyler Durden : Keep it up then... Right up. [Gets up from airplane seat] Tyler Durden : Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...? [while burning the Narrator's hand with lye] Tyler Durden : Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God? Narrator : No, no, I... don't... Tyler Durden : Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. Narrator : It isn't? Narrator : I am Jack's cold sweat. Narrator : If I did have a tumor, I'd name it Marla. [meeting aboard an airliner] Narrator : What do you do for a living? Tyler Durden : Why? So you can pretend like you're interested? Narrator : He was *the* guerilla terrorist in the food service industry. [the Narrator looks at Tyler, who's urinating in a pot] Tyler Durden : Do not watch. I cannot go when you watch. Narrator : Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well... Tyler Durden : [snickers] Go ahead. Tell 'em. Narrator : ...you get the idea. Narrator : I am Jack's raging bile duct. [At a cancer support meeting] Narrator : Oh yeah, Chloe... Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everybody. Chloe : Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I've got some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. Chloe : But... I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrate... [the group leader takes the mic] Group Leader : Thank you Chloe... everyone, let's thank Chloe. Narrator : A guy who came to Fight Club for the first time, his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood. Narrator : I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more. Narrator : After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down. Narrator : If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? Narrator : And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom. Tyler Durden : Do you know what a "duvet" is? Narrator : It's a comforter... Tyler Durden : It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Narrator : [while brutally beating Angel Face] I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. Narrator : [reading] "I am Jack's colon." Tyler Durden : I get cancer, I kill Jack. Narrator : Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends. Narrator : I'll tell you: we'll split up the week, okay? You take lymphoma, and tuberculosis... Marla Singer : You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all. Narrator : Okay, good, fine. Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think. Marla Singer : Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls. Narrator : You're kidding. Marla Singer : I don't know... am I? Narrator : No, no! What do you want? Marla Singer : I'll take the parasites. Narrator : You can't have both the parasites, but while you take the blood parasites... Marla Singer : I want brain parasites. Narrator : I'll take the blood parasites. But I'm gonna take the organic brain dementia, okay? Marla Singer : I want that. Narrator : You can't have the whole brain, that's... Marla Singer : So far you have four, I only have two! Narrator : Okay. Take both the parasites. They're yours. Now we both have three... Narrator : I am Jack's complete lack of surprise. Tyler Durden : It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car. Narrator : There's always that. Narrator : Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me. That condo was my life, okay? I loved every stick of furniture in that place. That was not just a bunch of stuff that got destroyed, it was ME! [voice-over] Narrator : I'd like to thank the Academy... Narrator : I am Jack's wasted life. Narrator : I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection. Narrator : I am Jack's broken heart. Narrator : Is Tyler my bad dream? Or am I Tyler's? [last lines] Narrator : You met me at a very strange time in my life. Narrator : Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip. Narrator : Was it ticking? Airport Security Officer : Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick. Narrator : Sorry, throwers? Airport Security Officer : Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police. Narrator : My suitcase was vibrating? Airport Security Officer : Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [whispering] Airport Security Officer : it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article "a dildo", never "your dildo". Narrator : I don't own... Narrator : With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels. Narrator : Fight club wasn't about winning or losing. It wasn't about words. The hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal Church. Narrator : I got in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I'm comfortable with that. I am enlightened. Tyler Durden : The salt balance has to be just right, so the best fat for making soap comes from humans. Narrator : Wait. What is this place? Tyler Durden : A liposuction clinic. Narrator : Except for their humping, Tyler and Marla were never in the same room. My parents pulled this exact same act for years. Marla Singer : A condom is the glass slipper for our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You "dance" all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger. Narrator : What? Marla Singer : I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar. Narrator : It was worth every penny. Marla Singer : It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree. So special. Then, bam, it's on the side of the road. [Grabs Narrator's crotch] Marla Singer : Tinsel still clinging to it. Like a sex crime victim. Underwear inside out. Bound with electrical tape. Narrator : Well, then it suits you. Marla Singer : You can borrow it sometime. Tyler Durden : We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra. Narrator : Martha Stewart. Tyler Durden : Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns. Narrator : Marla... the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't. Narrator : You had to give it to him: he had a plan. And it started to make sense, in a Tyler sort of way. No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide. Narrator : And then, Tyler was gone. [first lines] Narrator : People are always asking me if know Tyler Durden. Richard Chesler : [Reading a piece of paper] "The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club?" Narrator : [Voice-over] I'm half asleep again; I must've left the original in the copy machine. Richard Chesler : "The second rule of Fight Club" - is this yours? Narrator : Huh? Richard Chesler : Pretend you're me, make a managerial decision: you find this, what would you do? Narrator : [Pauses] Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous. [Gets up from the chair] Narrator : [Talking slowly] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you. Narrator : [Voice-over] Tyler's words coming out of my mouth. [Snatches the piece of paper from boss' hands] Narrator : [Voice-over] And I used to be such a nice guy. Narrator : Or maybe you shouldn't bring me every little piece of trash you happen to pick up. [Phone rings] Narrator : [Into phone] Compliance and Liability...? Marla Singer : My tit's gonna rot off. Narrator : [to boss] Would you excuse me? I need to take this. Narrator : What are we doing tonight? Tyler Durden : Tonight? We make soap. Narrator : Really. Tyler Durden : To make soap, first we render fat. Narrator : Hello? Tyler Durden : [Eating breakfast cereal] Who is this? Narrator : Tyler? Tyler Durden : Who is this? Narrator : Uh... we met... we met on the airplane. We had the same suitcase. Uh... the clever guy? Tyler Durden : Oh yeah, right. [Snickers] Tyler Durden : Ok? Narrator : I called a second ago, th - there was no answer, I'm at the payphone... Tyler Durden : - yeah, I *69ed you, I never pick up my phone. [Crunch, crunch] Tyler Durden : So what's up, huh? Narrator : Uh, well... You're not gonna believe this... Narrator : I flipped through catalogs and wondered: "What kind of dining set defines me as a person?" Narrator : Marla's philosophy of life is that she might die at any moment. The tragedy, she said, was that she didn't. Narrator : I can't get married - I'm a thirty-year-old boy. Narrator : Deja vu - all over again. Narrator : He was full of pep. Must've had his grande-latte enema. Narrator : Every evening I died, and every evening I was born again, resurrected. Narrator : We have just lost cabin pressure. [about Tyler splicing frames of pornography into family films] Narrator : So when the snoody cat, and the courageous dog, with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll catch a flash of Tyler's contribution to the film. [the audience is watching the film, the pornography flashes for a split second] Narrator : Nobody knows that they saw it, but they did... Tyler Durden : A nice, big, cock... [several audience members look rattled, a little girl is crying] Narrator : Even a hummingbird couldn't catch Tyler at work. Narrator : You're insane. Tyler Durden : No. YOU ARE! Narrator : Bob loved me because he thought my testicles were removed too. Being there, pressed against his tits, ready to cry. This was my vacation... and she ruined *everything*. Marla Singer : This is cancer right? Narrator : This chick Marla singer did not have testicular cancer. She was a liar. She had no diseases at all. I had seen her at Free and Clear my blood parasite group Thursdays. Then at Hope, my bi-monthly sickle cell circle. And again at Seize the Day, my tuberculous Friday night. Marla... the big tourist. Her lie reflected my lie. Suddenly I felt nothing. I couldn't cry, so once again I couldn't sleep. Narrator : Bob had bitch tits. Narrator : With insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. Narrator : Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us slept, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one real. It comes on a few. See, there are these little dots on the screen. Tyler Durden : In the movie industry, we call them "cigarette burns". Narrator : That's the cue for a change-over. The movie keeps on going, and nobody in the audience has any clue. Tyler Durden : Why would anyone want this shit job? Narrator : Because it affords him other interesting opportunities. Tyler Durden : Like splicing single frames of porn into family films... Narrator : We have front row seats for this theatre of mass destruction. The demolitions committee of Project Mayhem wrapped the foundation columns of a dozen buildings with blasting gelatin. In two minutes primary charges will blow base charges and a few square blocks will be reduced to smoldering rubble. I know this, because Tyler knows this. Narrator : Tyler, I'm grateful to you; for everything that you've done for me. But this is too much. I don't want this. Tyler Durden : What do you want? Wanna go back to the shit job, fuckin' condo world, watching sitcoms? Fuck you, I won't do it. [The Narrator's apartment has just been blown to pieces] Narrator : I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent, a wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was close to being complete. Tyler Durden : Shit man, now it's all gone. Narrator : Clean food, please. Waiter : In that case, sir, may I advise against the lady eating clam chowder? Narrator : No clam chowder, thank you. Narrator : By the end of the first month, I didn't miss TV. Tyler Durden : Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion? Narrator : [with Tyler's gun in his mouth] mm mm mm mm mm mmmmmm. [Tyler removes the gun] Narrator : I still can't think of anything. Tyler Durden : Ah. Flashback humor. Narrator : If I didn't say anything, people always assumed the worst. Narrator : I wasn't really dying. I wasn't host to cancer or parasites. I was the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around. Narrator : Most of the week we were Ozzie and Harriet, but every Saturday night we were finding something out: we were finding out more and more that we were not alone. It used to be that when I came home angry and depressed I'd just clean my condo, polish my Scandinavian furniture. I should have been looking for a new condo. I should have been haggling with my insurance company. I should have been upset about my nice, neat, flaming little shit. But I wasn't. [after beating an 'applicant' with a broom] Narrator : I'm gonna go inside and I'm gonna get a shovel. Narrator : You're making a big mistake, fellas! Police Officer: You said you would say that. Narrator : I'm not Tyler Durden! Police Officer: You told us you'd say that, too. Narrator : All right then, I'm Tyler Durden. Listen to me, I'm giving you a direct order. We're aborting this mission right now. Police Officer: You said you would definitely say that. Narrator : Tyler was now involved in a class action lawsuit against the Pressman Hotel over the urine content of their soup. Narrator : Home was a condo on the fifteenth floor of a filing cabinet for widows and young professionals. The walls were solid concrete. A foot of concrete is important when your next-door neighbor lets their hearing aid go and have to watch game-shows at full volume. Or when a volcanic blast of debris that used to be your furniture and personal effects blows out of your floor-to-ceiling windows and sails flaming into the night. I suppose these things happen. Narrator : You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick. Richard Chesler : Get the fuck out of here, you're fired! Narrator : I have a better solution. You keep me on the payroll as an outside consultant and in exchange for my salary, my job will be never to tell people these things that I know. I don't even have to come into the office, I can do this job from home. Narrator : It's just, when you buy furniture, you tell yourself, "that's it. That's the last sofa I'm gonna need. Whatever else happens, I've got that sofa problem handled." [after giving Marla a breast exam] Marla Singer : I wish I could return the favor. Narrator : There's not a lot of breast cancer in the men in my family. Marla Singer : I could check your prostate. Narrator : When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything, the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks. Narrator : Bob is dead, they shot him in the head! Tyler Durden : You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs. Narrator : It's called a "changeover." The movie goes on, and nobody in the audience has any idea. Tyler Durden : Now why would you want to put a gun to your head? Narrator : Not my head, Tyler. Our head. Tyler Durden : Now, ancient people found their clothes got cleaner if they washed them at a certain spot in the river. You know why? Narrator : No. Tyler Durden : Human sacrifices were once made on the hills above this river. Bodies burnt, water speeded through the wood ashes to create lye. [holds up a bottle] Tyler Durden : This is lye - the crucial ingredient. The lye combined with the melted fat of the bodies, till a thick white soapy discharge crept into the river. May I see your hand, please? [Tyler licks his lips until they're gleaming wet - he takes the Narrator's hand and kisses the back of it] Narrator : What is this? Tyler Durden : This... [pours the lye on the Narrator's hand] Tyler Durden : ... is chemical burn. Narrator : Tyler's not here. Tyler went away. Tyler's gone. Narrator : Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck Fight Club! Fuck Marla! I am sick of your shit! Narrator : But Tyler, you're fucking Marla. Tyler Durden : Technically, you are, but it's all the same to her. Movie Title: The Italian Job (2003) as Steve: Stella : I don't go out with strange men. I just met you 5 minutes ago. Steve : What, I'll just have to sabotage my cable till we get to know each other better? Steve : What the fuck happened to my truck? Steve : You blew the best thing you had going for you. You blew the element of surprise. [Charlie punches Steve] Charlie Croker : Surprised? Stella : You know this was never about the gold. Steve : What ever helps you sleep at night sweetheart. [Stella punches Steve] [as Yevhen's men are taking him away, Steve's panicking] Steve : Don't shoot me! Yevhen : Shoot you? I'm not going to shoot you. No, I'm going to take you to my work. I have some machinery that you will be very interested in. Steve : How about dinner? Stella : You ask your last cable repair guy out to dinner? Steve : No. But he had a handlebar mustache and weighed like 300 pounds. Movie Title: Primal Fear (1996) as Roy: Roy : I got you. You the lawyer. Well, you sure fucked this one up, didn't you, counselor! Looks to me lahk they're gonna shoot ol' Aaron so full o' poison it's gonna come out his eyes! Roy : If you lay that tough-man shit on Aaron again, I will kick your fuckin' ass to Sunday! Janet : No further questions your honor. Roy : Where the hell do you think you're going? Janet : Excuse me? Roy : Hey you look at me when I'm talkin' to you, bitch! Judge Miriam Shoat : Mr. Stampler! Roy : Fuck you, lady! Come here! [Roy jumps over the witness stand and grabs Janet and punches Marty Vail] Judge Miriam Shoat : Bailiff! Roy : You wanna play rough, let's play rough. Come on, lets play rough! [Bailiff and secruity slowly walk toward Roy] Roy : Yeah, keep comin' closer asshole, don't think I won't break her fuckin' neck! Marty : Roy, come on. I got... Roy : Fuck you, Marty! I'm walkin' outta slowly. Really slow. Roy : There never was an Aaron, counselor. |
 |
 |
||
|
Copyright movies studios and Imdb.com: Edward Norton
Legal © Quotesbase.com |
