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    Ed Wynn Quotation


    "A comedian says funny things. A comic says things funny."



    Movie Title: Alice in Wonderland (1951) as Mad Hatter:



    Mad Hatter : Mustard? Mustard? Don't let's be silly.


    Alice : I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party.
    March Hare : Birthday? My dear child this is not a birthday party.
    Mad Hatter : Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.


    Mad Hatter : Clean cup, clean cup. Move down, move down, move down.


    Mad Hatter : Why is a raven like a writing desk?
    Alice : Riddles? Now let me see... why is a raven like a writing desk?
    Mad Hatter : I beg your pardon?
    Alice : Why is a raven like a writing desk?
    Mad Hatter : [alarmed] Why is a what?
    March Hare : Careful, she's stark ravin' mad!
    Alice : But it's your silly riddle. You just said...
    Mad Hatter : Easy, don't get excited!
    March Hare : How about a nice cup of tea?
    Alice : "Have a cup of tea," indeed! Well I'm sorry, but I just haven't the time!


    Mad Hatter : No wonder you're late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow.


    Alice : I was sitting on the riverbank with uh... with you know who...
    Mad Hatter : I DO?
    Alice : I mean my C-A-T.
    Mad Hatter : Tea?
    March Hare : [slices a tea cup in half] Just half a cup, if you don't mind.


    Mad Hatter : Do you care for tea?
    Alice : Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea.
    March Hare : If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!

    Movie Title: Mary Poppins (1964) as Uncle Albert:



    Bert : Reminds me of a guy I know who got a cushy job in a watch factor.
    Uncle Albert : What does he do?
    Bert : He stands about all day and makes faces.
    Uncle Albert : Ha ha ha. He makes faces in a watch factory.


    Bert : Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
    Uncle Albert : What's the name of his other leg?


    Bert : Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
    Uncle Albert : I'd be so grateful.
    Bert : Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. So bad, he chewed his pillow to bits. Bits. In the morning, I says, "How you feeling, Granddad?" He says, "Oh not bad, a little down in the mouth". [They laugh]
    Bert : I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
    Uncle Albert : And that was nothing like a good joke.


    Uncle Albert : A friend of mine went to buy some long underwear. The shopkeeper asked him, "How long do you want it?" And my friend said, "From about September to March".

       
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