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 David Thewlis QuotationMovie Title: Divorcing Jack (1998) as Dan Starkey / Dan: Dan : These trousers are SLIGHTLY FLARED! Operator: Good afternoon. What service do you require? Dan Starkey : EVERY FUCKING SERVICE! Dan Starkey : Well I hope he knows more than we do, 'cause I know fuck all squared in a box. Movie Title: Total Eclipse (1995) as Paul Verlaine: Arthur Rimbaud : Do you love me? Paul Verlaine : What? Arthur Rimbaud : Do you love me? Paul Verlaine : Yes... Arthur Rimbaud : Then put your hand on the table. Paul Verlaine : What? Arthur Rimbaud : Put your hand on the table. Movie Title: Seven Years in Tibet (1997) as Peter Aufschnaiter: Heinrich Harrer : In my humble opinion, this is ridiculous. Peter Aufschnaiter : Well, then, since you're so humble, we won't ask your opinion. Peter Aufschnaiter : You should have told me how bad that wound was. I should take a look at it. I can sew it up. Heinrich Harrer : It's not your problem. Peter Aufschnaiter : Actually it is my problem. It's my life. Heinrich Harrer : What? Peter Aufschnaiter : When you conceal serious injury and put my life at risk I consider that my problem. Heinrich Harrer : No, you put your life at risk. I saved it so shut up! Peter Aufschnaiter : Please, it's not your place. Heinrich Harrer : Shut up! Peter Aufschnaiter : Next time you lie about an injury, Heinrich, you're off the team. Heinrich Harrer : Try it. Peter Aufschnaiter : Oh, by the way, I heard the Japanese have retreated all the way back to Shanghai. So even if you make it to the Chinese border you may have difficulties catching up with them. Heinrich Harrer : I don't care if they've retreated all the way back to Tokyo. Peter Aufschnaiter : You should if you want to get back to Austria. Heinrich Harrer : But I don't. Peter Aufschnaiter : You don't what? Heinrich Harrer : Plan to go back. Peter Aufschnaiter : Why not? Heinrich Harrer : No particular reason. But when you get there tell my wife that two years in prison camp is roughly equal ant to four years of marriage and I'm glad to be free of them both. Peter Aufschnaiter : Know what time it is? You think I'm so happy to be travelling with you I should pay for it? You're such a big man that you don't need to contribute? Heinrich Harrer : You have a problem, Peter? Peter Aufschnaiter : It reminds me of what you said at the bazaar back there. 'If I had a watch like that I would trade it.' You do not have one, you cheap, lying bastard! You have three! Heinrich Harrer : This is junk from some Italian prisoners. Peter Aufschnaiter : I don't give a shit! Haven't you ever heard of a principle? Heinrich Harrer : What principle? What? You want a watch? Go ahead, take one, and keep your principles. Peter Aufschnaiter : Look at you! Caught being a selfish brat and you're gloating! Heinrich Harrer : You're acting like an old woman, Peter. What do you want? Peter Aufschnaiter : Try apologizing. Try feeling a little remorse. And for all that's fair try to wipe that smirk off your face! Movie Title: James and the Giant Peach (1996) as Earthworm: Earthworm : [eating the peach] It's not dirt, but it tastes good. Spider : "Mmmmm. Better than ladybugs. Ladybug : What? Spider : Excuse me. Earthworm : The sun's so hot! I'm fried! Earthworm : She won't be coming down here with the spray. She'll be coming down here with a shovel. It happened to m' brother. Split him right down the middle. Now I have two half-brothers. [Spiker and Sponge are outside the peach, looking for James] Spiker : Where are you? You little worm! Earthworm : AAAHHHHHH! James : Not you, ME! James : Whenever I had a problem, my parents told me to look at it another way. Earthworm : HOW? First, I was bird bait, and then I was SHARK bait. Centipede : I've sailed all the five seas. From the land of Bora Bora to the icy shores of Tripoli. Grasshopper : Seven. Centipede : What? Grasshopper : There are seven seas, and Tripoli is in the Sub-Tropics, Commodore! Centipede : Trim the sails! Ladybug : There are no sails. Centipede : Start the engines! Earthworm : There are no engines. Centipede : I can't work with this miserable crew! Earthworm : We gotta get out of here. We'll be turned into living statues. Grasshopper : *Dead* living statues! Earthworm : Remember what your parents said, James... Try looking at it another way! Old Green Grasshopper : Oh this is all my fault. Earthworm : Hey don't take all the credit, I helped too! Movie Title: Dragonheart (1996) as King Einon: King Einon : Only you, Felton, could keep such a sly brain under such a bad hat! King Einon : Next time, stab more flesh, less cloth. Kara : I'll pierce your heart! King Einon : You already did. King Einon : Some men are good hunting men, some are good at hunting money. Both have value to me. King Einon : I've always said death was a release, not a punishment. King Einon : You never cease to amaze me Bowen. Now you have brought my future wife and a priest to wed us. Bowen : To bury you. King Einon : Well, to bury one of us. Movie Title: The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996) as Edward Douglas: Edward Douglas : Are you a doctor? Montgomery : Well, I'm more of a vet. Movie Title: Endgame (2000) as Clov: [first lines] Clov : Finished, it's finished, nearly finished, it must be nearly finished. Grain upon grain, one by one, and one day, suddenly, there's a heap, a little heap, the impossible heap. I can't be punished any more. I'll go now to my kitchen, ten feet by ten feet by ten feet, and wait for him to whistle me. Nice dimensions, nice proportions, I'll lean on the table, and look at the wall, and wait for him to whistle me. Movie Title: The Big Lebowski (1998) as Knox Harrington: The Dude : Who are you, anyway? Knox Harrington : Oh, just a friend of Maudie's. The Dude : A friend with a cleft asshole? Maude Lebowski : Uli Hauff? Her Co-Star in The Beaver Picture? The Dude : Beaver? uhhhh you mean vagina? WAIT you know this guy? Maude Lebowski : Oh I might have introduced him for all I know, *looks at her eccentric artist friend Knox* you remember Uli? Knox Harrington : yahmmmmm Movie Title: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) as Professor Lupin: Professor Lupin : Now repeat after me - without wands please - repeat after me, Riddikulus. Class: Riddikulus! Professor Lupin : And again Class: Riddikulus! Malfoy : This class is ridiculous. Sirius Black : Brilliant, Snape; once again you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion. Now if you'll excuse us, Remus and I have some unfinished business to attend to. Professor Snape : Give me a reason. I beg you. Professor Lupin : Severus, don't be a fool. Sirius Black : He can't help it. It's habit by now. Professor Lupin : Sirius, be quiet... Sirius Black : Go bite yourself, Remus! Professor Snape : Listen to you two, quarrelling like an old married couple. Sirius Black : Why don't you run along and play with your chemistry set? Professor Snape : I could do it you know. But why deny the Dementors? They're so longing to see you. Do I detect a flicker of fear? Ah yes. The Dementor's Kiss. One can only imagine what that must be like to endure. It's said to be nearly unbearable to witness but I'll do my best. Professor Lupin : [yelling at Snape] Severus, don't be such a fool! [repeated line] Professor Lupin : Eat this. It'll help. Professor Lupin : You know the very first time I saw you, Harry, I recognized you immediately. Not by your scar, by your eyes. They're your mother, Lilly's. Yes, oh yes. I knew her. Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind one. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even none perhaps. Most especially when that person couldn't see it in themselves. Then your father, James on the other hand, he uh ha, he had a certain shall we say talent for trouble. The talent, rumor has it, he passed onto you. You are more like them than you know, Harry. In time you'll come to see just how much. Professor Lupin : Our pain becomes their power. Professor Lupin : What frightens you the most? Neville Longbottom : [mumbling] Pfsr Snpe. Professor Lupin : Hmm? Speak up! Neville Longbottom : Professor Snape. Professor Lupin : Professor Sna- well, he frightens all. Harry : It's not exactly a happy memory... it's complicated. Professor Lupin : Is it strong? Harry : [about the Marauder's Map] Professor, I don't think it always works. Earlier... it showed someone in the castle... someone I know to be dead. Professor Lupin : Who? Harry : Peter Pettigrew. Professor Lupin : That's not possible. Professor Lupin : [commenting on Sirius' ragged looks] Finally, the flesh reflects the madness within. Sirius Black : Well, you'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you Remus? Professor Lupin : [to Sirius] Finally, your skin reflects the madness within. Sirius Black : Enough talk, let's kill him! Professor Lupin : Wait! Sirius Black : I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN! Movie Title: Naked (1993) as Johnny: Johnny : I know it's a bit cheeky but, er, I'm a cheeky young monkey! Johnny : Well, Brian, congratulations! You've succeeded in convincin' me that you do 'ave the most tedious fuckin' job in England. Johnny : And what is it what goes on in this postmodern gas chamber? Brian : Nothing. It's empty. Johnny : So what is it you guard, then? Brian : Space. Johnny : You're guarding space? That's stupid, isn't it? Because someone could break in there and steal all the fuckin' space and you wouldn't know it's gone, would you? Brian : Good point. Johnny : Why are you here in London, oh Bodhidharma? Archie : Put my old man at the hospital. Johnny : Your dad? Archie : Right. Johnny : How did you do that, then? Archie : Cracked him on the head. Johnny : So what, is he in a bad way? Archie : Fuckin' half dead. Johnny : So you're like on the run, then? Archie : Yeah. Johnny : Me too. Archie : Yeah, the cops after you, yeah? Brian : Waste not, want not. Johnny : And other clichés. Brian : But a cliché is full of truth, otherwise it wouldn't be a cliché. Johnny : Which is itself a cliché. Johnny : Oh, "Jane Austen" by Emma. That's one of me favorite books. Louise : How did you get here? Johnny : Well, basically, there was this little dot, right? And the dot went bang and the bang expanded. Energy formed into matter, matter cooled, matter lived, the amoeba to fish, to fish to fowl, to fowl to frog, to frog to mammal, the mammal to monkey, to monkey to man, amo amas amat, quid pro quo, memento mori, ad infinitum, sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese and leave under the grill till Doomsday. Johnny : You think you can recapture your youth by fucking it? You don't want to fuck me. You'll catch something cruel. Johnny : No matter how many books you read, there is something in this world that you never ever ever ever ever fucking understand. Johnny : You can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. And humanity is just a cracked egg. And the omelet stinks. Johnny : I've got an infinite number of places to go, the problem is somewhere to stay. Johnny : You know what frightens me about the human body? Sophie : What? Johnny : Well, it's like the, er, most sophisticated mechanism in the entire universe, and yet it's so fuckin' quiet, isn't it? Know what I mean? Sophie : Dunno. Mine makes enough noise. Johnny : It's like this, er, wet, pink factory. What the fuck are they makin' in there? I mean, what's the product? You never see no delivery trucks comin' and goin', do you? Johnny : Resolve is never stronger than in the morning after it was never weaker. Johnny : [while reading the Bible] Fuckin' hell, why *hast* thou forsaken me? Bastard. Brian : Would you like a mint? Johnny : Is this a new policy? Ply the culprit with menthol? Johnny : I used to be a werewolf, but I'm all right no-OOWWWWWWWWWW! Brian : What are you doing here? Johnny : Well, I was standing over *there*, but that didn't seem to be working out for me, so I moved over here, but this one isn't much better. Louise : So what happened, were you bored in Manchester? Johnny : Was I bored? No, I wasn't fuckin' bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody - you're all so bored. You've had nature explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the living body explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the universe explained to you and you're bored with it, so now you want cheap thrills and, like, plenty of them, and it doesn't matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new as long as it's new as long as it flashes and fuckin' bleeps in forty fuckin' different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I'm not fuckin' bored. Louise : What are you doing here? You look like shit. Johnny : I'm just tryin' to blend in with the surroundings. Johnny : Have you ever thought, right, but you don't know, but you may have already lived the happiest day in your whole fuckin' life and all you have left to look forward to is fuckin' sickness and purgatory? Sophie : Oh, shit. I just live from day to day. Johnny : I tend to skip a day now and again, if you know what I mean. Johnny : What if God just put us here for his own entertainment? That's all we are - just something for him to have a bit of a laugh at? Maggie : Have you ever seen a dead body? Johnny : Only me own. Johnny : Be good. If you can't be good, be careful. [last lines] Sandra : What is your problem? Johnny : What's *your* problem? Sandra : All these silly questions and... Johnny : Well look - I've never met a nurse before and I'm just interested in, uh, well in life. I mean, do you think it's worth saving? Sandra : Of course I do. But there is a time and a place and actually this isn't the time or... Johnny : The place? Sandra : No. And this is where I... Johnny : Live? Sandra : Yes, and I'm not feeling very... Johnny : Sexy? Sandra : ...comfortable, actually. I'm not feeling very comfortable. Johnny : Well make yourself comfortable, luv, or slip into something more [mouths the word] Johnny : comfortable. Sandra : [starts to leave] My bath. Hot toast. Hot milk. Hot water bottle. Bed. Sleep. Johnny : Do you like me? Sandra : I don't know you so... Johnny : Do you find me attractive? [Sandra is speechless] Johnny : Well listen luv, it's like this - I find you attractive. Very attractive. Sandra : Enough. I've had enough. It comes at me from all angles... You... all of you just... it's the tin lids... When... how will the world ever... Johnny : End? Sandra : Yes! [Sandra leaves] Johnny : You know at birth when you cut the umbilical cord - what would happen if, uh, well if it was never cut? Sandra : I don't need this. I just... Johnny : Well it'd be embarrassing, wouldn't it? Especially at my age. Movie Title: A Bit of a Do (1989) as Paul Simcock: Laurence Rodenhurst : Paul, sometimes a woman needs to be alone. Paul Simcock : Not Jenny. Our marriage is a "totality of shared experience". Laurence Rodenhurst : [mutters] Berk! |
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