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 Richard Lewis QuotationMovie Title: Once Upon a Crime... (1992) as Julian Peters: Julian Peters : Would you excuse me, I'm being kicked off this train; I'd like to ask the conductor to slow it down. Phoebe : My birth control pills! Julian Peters : I never thought I should say this, but there is a time and and place. Phoebe : There're in my suitecase that I left back at the villa! Julian Peters : So? Phoebe : My name's on the prescription label! Julian Peters : You've got a problem. Phoebe : We have to go back. Julian Peters : What? Are you insane? The police are probally swarming the place by now! Phoebe : If the police are there, we'll leave. If not, we have to get my suitcase back. Julian Peters : What about the killer? Phoebe : Do you think the killer is just going to hang around the scene of the crime all night? Julian Peters : I don't know. I don't know what his social life is like. Julian Peters : Let's call a truce what do you say? [Phoebe does not reply] Julian Peters : Okay, how's this for an idea. After we get the reward money, I'll take you back here. Well have a nice moonlight dinner, a little champagne... Phoebe : Look, Julian, don't waste my time. There is absolutely no chance I'd get involved with you. This is a business deal. Let's stick to business. Okay? Julian Peters : Who said anything about getting involved? Lady, I'm on the ropes and the last thing I need is to be seen walking around with a lady wearing tights who should know better. Phoebe : Do you ever shut up? Julian Peters : Ooo, what a wit! Movie Title: The Wrong Guys (1988) as Richard: [Richard goes to check the engine of the Volkswagen van and it's gone] Richard : I don't see it. Is it small? Movie Title: Wagons East (1994) as Phil Taylor: Phil Taylor : I was a field surgeon during the war. We'd work long hours. We'd eat while we operated. One time, there's this young soldier I was trying to save, he took a cannonball in the stomach. After 18 hours of surgery, I did it. Never felt better in my life. Until, just like that, the patient dies. Turns out I left half a bologna sandwich in his lung. Phil Taylor : [rallying everyone to leave town] C'mon. Let's quit. Let's find a wagon master and go east. Bartender : You know what I say! I say you're nothing but a bunch of lilly-livered Eastern sissies! Why don't you get out of here and leave the West to the real men! Movie Title: Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) as Richard Lewis: Richard Lewis : [After Larry asks for his meditating style back] No, you can't be an East Indian giver. Movie Title: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993) as Prince John: Prince John : Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it? Latrine : We changed it in the 9th century. Prince John : You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"? Latrine : Yeah. Used to be "Shithouse." Prince John : It's a good change. That's a good change! Prince John : And why would the people listen to you? Robin Hood : Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent. Prince John : I tell you that tonight, we shall have a wedding. Or a hanging. Either way, we ought to have a lot of fun, huh? Prince John : Save me, save me! Hurt them, hurt them! Sherrif of Rottingham : Save them, save them, hurt you, hurt you, yes, I've got it! Sherrif of Rottingham : This is a stealth catapult, we've been secretly working on it for months. It can hurl large rocks at the enemy without it being detected. Prince John : Fantastic how does it work? Sherrif of Rottingham : Its rather simple, you get one of these big rocks here and you put it in this im sitting in then you pull that leaver Prince John : What like this? [John pulls the leaver and flings Mervin into the air] Sherrif of Rottingham : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH Prince John : Send word to one and all, and all and one... that's a little redundant, isn't it? Herald: WHAT? Prince John : Shut up! |
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