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 Alan Young QuotationMovie Title: Baker's Hawk (1976) as Paul Carson: Paul Carson : There's a bad element that's been drifting into town ever since the mines opened. They ain't like us. They ain't decent. They're just tramps, Dan. And we owe it to the community to do something about it. Dan Baker : Go to the Sheriff and volunteer as deputies without pay. Paul Carson : That ain't the same and you know it... you know. There's just some things the regular law can't handle. If every able-bodied man was an enforcer of the law, why this rowdy element - they'd leave town. Paul Carson : Did you see the funeral? Dan Baker : Sure did. Paul Carson : It's going to keep on like this you know, until that sheriff of ours clamps the lid on this town. Too many drifters. Movie Title: DuckTales: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp (1990) as Scrooge McDuck: Huey, Dewey, Louie : Faster, Launch Pad, faster! Scrooge McDuck : Slower, Launch Pad, slower! Scrooge McDuck : Launch Pad! Look what you've done to these ancient ruins! Launchpad : It could've been worse - it could've been something new. Scrooge McDuck : I wouldn't miss this for all the scones in Scotland! Genie : I don't hear anything. I think they're gone. Scrooge McDuck : Where are we? Genie : Well, it's not exactly The Ritz. Scrooge McDuck : Not the lamp? Genie : I'm sorry about the mess. But you'll get used to it after a couple of thousand years. Would you mind moving your leg, please? Scrooge McDuck : GET ME OUT OF HERE! Launchpad : Forward, ho! [They crash] Launchpad : Reverse, ho! Scrooge McDuck : If you don't stop crashing, I'll give you the heave ho! Huey : This is Geni... Gene, yeah Gene. Scrooge McDuck : You're new around here? Genie : Yeah kinda, I pretty much pop up every now and then. [A bear's claw comes smashing through the door.] Scrooge McDuck : He's got a bear? Genie : (hysterically) HE *IS* THE BEAR! Genie : What's more important: your fortune or your life? Scrooge McDuck : [Thinking] Well... Genie : Hey! It's not exactly a trick question. Scrooge McDuck : Launchpad, is this the stuff you learned in flight school? Launchpad : Flight school? Scrooge McDuck : You mean you never took flying lessons? Launchpad : Well, I took a crash course. Scrooge McDuck : Now he tells me! Scrooge McDuck : Launchpad, is this some outrageous stunt you learned in flight school? Launchpad : Flight school? Scrooge McDuck : YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU NEVER TOOK ANY FLYING LESSONS? Launchpad : Well, I took a crash course. Scrooge McDuck : Now he tells me. Mrs. Featherby : What about your lunch? Scrooge McDuck : Sell it! Scrooge McDuck : Somebody stop those pants! Scrooge McDuck : Since when does a hat have a mind of its own? Movie Title: Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983) as Scrooge / Ebenezer Scrooge: Marley : Scrooge, remember when I was alive I robbed from widows and swindled the poor? Scrooge : Yes, and all in the same day. Oh, you had class, Jacob. Marley : Ha-yuk. Yup. Er, no, no! I was wrong. And as punishment, I'm forced to carry these heavy chains for eternity. Maybe even longer. Ghost of Christmas Past : Listen, Scrooge, if men were measured by kindness, you'd be no bigger than a speck of dust. Scrooge : Ho-hum. Kindness is of little use in this world. Ghost of Christmas Past : You didn't always think so. Come on, Scrooge, it's time to go. Scrooge : Then go! Ebenezer Scrooge : Spirit, whose lonely grave is this? [Ghost strikes a match, illuminating the tombstone: it reads "EBENEZER SCROOGE"] Ghost of Christmas Future : Why, yours, Ebenezer! The richest man in the cementery! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Cratchit : Tomorrow is Christmas and I was wondering if I could have... Half a day off? Scrooge : Christmas, eh? Uh, er... I suppose so. But I'll dock you half a day's pay. Let's see, I pay you two shillings a day... Cratchit : Two shillings and a halfpenny, Sir. Scrooge : Oh yes, I gave you that raise three years ago. Cratchit : Yes, sir, when I started doing your laundry. Fred : I've come to give you a wreath and invite you to Christmas dinner. Scrooge : Well, I suppose you're going to have plump goose with chesnut dressing? Fred : Yup. Scrooge : And will you have plum pudding and lemon sauce? And candied fruit with spiced sugar cakes? Fred : Yeah, boy oh boy. Can you come? Scrooge : Are you daft, Man? You know I can't eat that stuff! Take your wreath and out, out, OUT! [Kicks Fred out] Collector for the Poor #2 : We're collecting for the poor. Scrooge : Oh. Aha. Well, you realize if you give money to the poor, they won't be poor anymore, will they? And if they're not poor anymore then you won't have to raise money for them anymore. And if you don't have to raise money for them anymore, then you'd be out of a job. Oh please, Gentlemen, don't ask me to put you out of a job. Not on Christmas eve. Collector for the Poor #1 : Oh we wouldn't do that, Mr. Scrooge. Scrooge : [Giving them a wreath] Well then, I suggest you give this to the poor and be gone. Scrooge : What's this world coming to, Cratchit? You work all your life to get money and people want you to give it away. Scrooge : Bah humbug! Fred : Merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge! Scrooge : What's so merry about it? I'll tell you what Christmas is. It's just another work day, and any chap who thinks else should be boiled in his own pudding! Cratchit : But sir, Christmas is a time for giving... a time to be with one's family. Scrooge : I say, Bah humbug! Fred : I don't care! I say, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas! Cratchit : [clapping] Well said, Master Fred! Scrooge : Cratchit, what are you doing? Cratchit : [stops clapping] I was just trying to keep my hands warm, sir. [Bob closes his book and starts to leave as the clock chimes 7:00. Scrooge looks at his watch] Scrooge : Hmm... Two minutes fast. [Bob stops then goes back to his desk] Scrooge : Well, never mind those two minutes. You may go now. Cratchit : Oh thank you, sir! You're so kind! Scrooge : Never mind the mushy stuff, just go!... But be here all the other early the next day! Cratchit : I will, I will, sir! And a Bah Humbug... I mean, a Merry Christmas to you, sir! Marley : Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits [holds up two fingers] Marley : . Listen to'em. Do what they say, or your chains will be heavier than mine. Farewell, Ebenezer. Scrooge : Marley, watch out for that first... [Marley goes crashing down the stairs] Scrooge : Step. Scrooge : My partner, Jacob Marley, dead seven years today. Oh, he was a good'n. He robbed from the widows and swindled the poor. In his will, he left me enough money to pay for his tombstone, and I have him burried at sea! Cratchit : Oh, that Fred. Always so full of kindness. Scrooge : He was acting a little peculiar... AND stubborn! Belle : Ebeneezer? Scrooge : Yes, Isabelle? Belle : My eyes are closed, my lips are puckered, and I'm standing under the mistletoe. Scrooge : You're also standing on my foot. Scrooge : Please, spirit, I can no longer bear these memories. Take me home. Ghost of Christmas Past : Remember, Scrooge, you fashioned these memories yourself. Scrooge : Please, let me go! Don't eat me! Ghost of Christmas Present : Why would the Ghost of Christmas Present... that's me... want to eat a distasteful little miser like you?... Especially when there are so many good things to enjoy in life? Scrooge : Where did all this come from? Ghost of Christmas Present : From the heart, Scrooge. It's the food of generosity, which you have long denied your fellow man. Scrooge : Generosity? Nobody has ever shown me generosity! Ghost of Christmas Present : You've never given them a reason to, and yet there are some who still find enough warmth in their hearts even for the likes of you. Scrooge : Tell me, spirit, what's wrong with that tiny lad? Ghost of Christmas Present : Much, I'm afraid. If these shadows remain unchanged, I see an empty chair where Tiny Tim once sat. Scrooge : Then that means Tim will... Scrooge : Spirit, I didn't want this to happen. Tell me these events can yet be changed. Scrooge : I'll change! I'LL CHANGE! Scrooge : IT'S CHRISTMAS MORNING! I haven't missed it! The spirits have given me another chance! Cratchit : Why Mr. Scrooge, Merry Christmas. [Scrooge barges in] Cratchit : Won't you come in? Scrooge : Merry Christmas? Humph! I have another bundle for you. Cratchit : But sir, it's Christmas Day. Scrooge : Christmas Day, indeed! Just another excuse for being lazy. And another thing, Cratchit! I've had enough of this half-day-off stuff! You leave me no alternative... [changing his attitude] Scrooge : ... but to give you... Tiny Tim : Toys! Scrooge : Yes, toys. No no no no no no no! I'm giving you a raise... and making you my partner. Movie Title: The Time Machine (1960) as Filby: Filby : If that machine can do what you say it can do, destroy it, George! Destroy it before it destroys you! Filby : He's got all the time in the world. Movie Title: Mister Ed (1961) as Wilbur Post: Wilbur Post : What kind of a name is "Ed" for a horse? Mister Ed : What kind of a name is "Wilbur" for a man? Wilbur Post : [to himself] It's been a long time since I was a little boy. Mister Ed : [speaking for the first time] It's been a long time since I was a pony. Wilbur Post : Who said that? No, that's impossible. Did you say that? No, how could you? Mister Ed : Did you say it? Wilbur Post : No, I didn't hear it. How could I? But I did. It's impossible. I don't belive it. Now, while I'm looking right at you say something. Mister Ed : Like what? Wilbur Post : Anything. Anything. Mister Ed : How now, brown cow. Carol Post : If you were in the desert with Mister Ed and me, and there was enough water for two of us, who would get the water? Wilbur Post : You and Ed, of course. Carol Post : If there was just enough water for one of us, who would get it? Wilbur Post : Well, uh... Carol Post : Why is it taking you so long to answer? Wilbur Post : You, you'd get the water. Carol Post : Well, that's better. Wilbur Post : Unless you'd care to give yours to Ed, I mean, I gave my water to you. Carol Post : You'd give all of the water to Mister Ed. Wilbur Post : Don't be ridiculous. I'd have only one choice, of course. Carol Post : Of course, who? Wilbur Post : Who? Carol Post : While you're choosing between us, I could be fainting on that desert. Wilbur Post : So could Ed, and he'd be a lot heavier to drag back into town. Wilbur Post : Just think, tomorrow's Ed's first day on the job. Life's funny, you know. You get a young horse like Ed, you coddle him, you play with him, you spoil him a little bit, you hope he doesn't grow up. First thing you know, he's punching a timeclock. Carol Post : (sarcastic) It's tough. Wilbur Post : Good for him, though. Work's good, builds character. I would't want him difting through life like Kay's brother. A horse has got to learn to stand on his own four feet. Carol Post : It's late, go to sleep honey. Wilbur Post : I think I'll make him a nice lunch tomorrow. Something that'll give him energy. What should I make for him, Carol? Carol Post : (more sarcastic) How about a triple-decker hay sandwich? Mister Ed : What do you say we go out riding and pick up a couple of fillies? Wilbur Post : I'm not a horse, remember? Mister Ed : Too bad, we could have a ball double dating. [Wilbur finds Mister Ed sleeping in his living room] Wilbur Post : Oh no. Mister Ed : If you had a dog, you'd let him sleep in the house. Wilbur Post : A dog is different. A dog is a household pet. Mister Ed : Then call me "Rover" and wake me at eight. Mister Ed : Wilbur, why don't we write a letter to Dear Abby? She could give us advice on what I should do. Wilbur Post : Okay, we'll write Dear Abby. How's this? "Dear Abby, my horse told me that he wants to leave home and have his own swinging bachelor apartment. Do you think he's right? Signed, Butterfly Net." Because that's exactly what they'll throw over me. Mister Ed : You don't have to say your horse told you. Tell her it was your cat. |
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