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    Ian Michael Smith Quotation






    Movie Title: Simon Birch (1998) as Simon Birch / Simon:



    Simon : I've been thinking.
    Joe : Yeah?
    Simon : Last year we were in the squirt league, and this year we're in the pewee.
    Joe : So?
    Simon : So what do they want us to do, play baseball or urinate? Anyway, I was just thinking.


    Simon : You're already a bastard. Might as well be an enlightened one.


    Simon : I'm a miracle you know.
    Joe : Yeah, yeah, yeah.


    Simon : Your mother is so sexy, sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.
    Joe : What if I said the same thing about your mother?
    Simon : Then I would have to commit you.


    Simon : If God's made the church bake sale a priority, we're in a lot of trouble.


    Simon : What I want to do and what I do are two separate things. If we all went around doing what we wanted all the time, there'd be chaos.


    Simon : Your mother is so sexy, sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.
    Joe : What if I said the same thing about your mother?
    Simon : I'd have you committed.


    Simon : I said, what does coffee and donuts have to do with God? Reverend Russell: They're merely refreshments so people can socialize and talk about up coming events.
    Simon : Who ever said church needs a continental breakfast?

    Reverend Russell: What are you doing sitting in a corner Simon?
    Simon : Thinking about God. Reverend Russell: In a corner?
    Simon : Faith is not in a floor plan.


    Joe : My balls just turned to marbles!
    Simon : Mine just turned to BBs!


    Simon : It's the *Virgin* Mary, Eddie. What does Joseph have to do with anything?


    Simon : Ahh! It's a horse!


    Simon : I don't think God's plan includes breaking and entering.


    Simon : I don't see how pork chops could lead to intercourse, no matter how good they are.


    Simon : I look like a burn victim.


    Simon : Boobs!


    Simon : Now get over there with the other flying monkeys, where you belong.


    Simon Birch : Sex makes people crazy.


    Simon Birch : Thank you Miss Wenteworth.
    Rebecca Wenteworth : You know what Simon? Thank you.


    Simon Birch : I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

       
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