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 Scott Schwartz QuotationMovie Title: The Toy (1982) as Eric Bates: Jack Brown : Angela! Jesus H. Christ! Eric Bates : Is that her full name? Jack Brown : Come back here, the game's not over. Eric Bates : I don't feel like playing anymore. Jack Brown : Are you upset because I was winning? You hate to lose? Eric Bates : I just don't wanna play anymore. Jack Brown : What if I tell your father? Eric Bates : He won't care. Jack Brown : Your father doesn't care that his son is a quitter? Eric Bates : He doesn't care what I am, so long as I stay out of his way. Eric Bates : Hang on, I got the key. Jack Brown : You got the key?! Why didn't you say so? Eric Bates : You didn't ask me. Eric Bates : What do you do with...your thing? Jack Brown : Is this a hypothetical question or is there a lady involved? Eric Bates : I know what I want. Morehouse : He wants the Wonder Wheel, [he and other business men get into a huddle] Eric Bates : The black man! Morehouse : He wants one in black, so all we do is... Eric Bates : The black *man*! Morehouse : He wants the black man. Huh? Oh no. No. No tomorrow. No next week. No next month. No next year. Jack Brown : Why me? Of all the stuff in the store, why did you pick me? Eric Bates : You made me laugh. I wanted a friend who made me laugh. Jack Brown : So of all the toys in the store you wanted a friend. If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend, Eric, you earn a friend through love and trust and respect. Eric Bates : Come see my train! Jack Brown : You're not listening to me, Eric, you don't order your friends around, you ask them. Eric Bates : Oh. You wanna come see my train, friend? Jack Brown : No. [They hug] Jack Brown : [Happily] I'm gonna kill you. Eric Bates : I love you, Jack. Eric Bates : Was I bad? Jack Brown : Were you bad? What you were gave a new meaning to the word 'bad'! Fraulein: I'm gonna tell your father! Jack Brown : Does everybody around here say that? Eric Bates : Yeah. Jack Brown : Well I'm not gonna say it anymore. Movie Title: A Christmas Story (1983) as Flick: Flick : Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb! Schwartz : That's 'cause you know it'll stick! Flick : You're full of it! Schwartz : Oh yeah? Flick : Yeah! Schwartz : Well I double-DOG-dare ya! Narrator : NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare ya"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare. Schwartz : I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya! Narrator : Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat! Schwartz : Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya. Flick : Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything like that? Schwartz : He knows, because he once saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet, and the fire department had to come get the guy's tongue off the track, because he couldn't get it off. (Randy is trying to catch up). Randy : C'mon, guys! Wait up! C'mon, guys! Wait up! |
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