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 Robert Preston Quotation"I've done my best to avoid B pictures. Why should I go into them now and call it television?" "I'd get the best role in every B picture and the second best in the A pictures." Movie Title: North West Mounted Police (1940) as Ronnie Logan: Ronnie Logan : Listen you little wildcat, you're the only real thing that's ever happened to me. And nobody, nothing could ever make me let you go. Louvette Corbeau : I love you so terrible bad I feel good. [Lovesick mountie Ronnie Logan falls hard for femme fatale Louvette Corbeau, who is secretly in league with the revolutionaries] Ronnie Logan : You're the sweetest poison that ever got into a man's blood. I love you. I *want* you! [Louvette betrays Ronnie to the rebels] Ronnie Logan : You crawling black scum! You sneaking she-wolf! You dirty squaw! I'll kill you when I get loose! Movie Title: Whispering Smith (1948) as Murray Sinclair: Murray Sinclair : Barney heard you'd been shot up. He asked after ya. Bill Dansing : Yeah, he seemed mighty disappointed when he heard you wasn't buried yet. Movie Title: The Music Man (1962) as Harold Hill: Harold Hill : A man can't turn tail and run just because a little personal risk is involved. What did Shakespeare say? "Cowards die a thousand deaths, the brave man... only 500"? [in song] Harold Hill : I rant and I rave for the virtue I'm too late to save / I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in / I hope and I pray for Hester to win just one more "A" / The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me / The sadder but wiser girl for me. [in song] Harold Hill : Seventy-six trombones led the big parade / with a hundred and ten cornets close at hand / They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos / the cream of every famous band! Marian Paroo : No, please, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Harold Hill : Oh, my dear little librarian. You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering. Marcellus Washburn : I heard you was in steam automobiles. Harold Hill : I was. Marcellus Washburn : What happened? Harold Hill : Somebody actually invented one. Marcellus Washburn : This is where I work. Harold Hill : You mean you *live* in this town? Marcellus Washburn : Yeah, I like it, too. I mean it's not Brooklyn, New York. It's not the City of Homes and Churches and... Harold Hill : Brooklyn? Marce, this isn't even Dubuque! Harold Hill : I always think there's a band, kid. Harold Hill : Think, boys. Think! Harold Hill : For the first I've got my foot caught in the door Harold Hill : I can't go. Marian Paroo : Why not? Harold Hill : For the first time in my life, I got my foot caught in the door. Charlie Cowell : Don't believe I caught your name. Harold Hill : Don't believe I dropped it. Salesman on train : How far you going, friend? Harold Hill : Wherever the people are as green as the money... friend. Marian Paroo : The librarian hasn't felt much like doing research lately, but she did plenty when you first came here. Harold Hill : What about? Marian Paroo : Professor Harold Hill. Gary Conservatory of Music, class of '05. Harold, there wasn't any Gary Conservatory of Music in '05. Harold Hill : Why, there most certainly w... Marian Paroo : Because the town wasn't even built until '06. I tore this page out of an Indiana Journal. I was going to use it against you, but now I give to you with my love. Marcellus Washburn : Thar she blows. Harold Hill : I'll do it, but I don't like it. Marcellus Washburn : No, that's not the librarian. That's Mrs. Shinn, the mayor's wife. Movie Title: Rehearsal for Murder (1982) as Alex: Ernie : Some of those junkies and winos from Broadway, they try to bed down in the lobby overnight. Alex : Encourage them, Ernie. The theater was meant for the common man. Alex : It's essential they stay here, all of them. If even one of them walks out, it won't work. Frank Heller : It may not work anyway. Alex : You still think this is a mistake, don't you? Frank Heller : Like I said before, Mr. Dennison; this is your show. I'm just here to watch. Alex : Oh and by the way, it's something new for me; a mystery. Walter : Good. They do well. Alex : Unusual form, a mystery. You take the audience by the hand, and you lead them...in the wrong direction. They trust you, and you betray them! All in the name of surprise. David : [Referring to the format of a mystery] All those characters are cardboard. I like...I like roles with flesh and blood! Alex : I don't know about the flesh, David. But I can guarantee you the blood. Lloyd : What are you going for? What's the point of the scene? Alex : Well, the point, Lloyd, is that in a mystery, everyone must have a motive. Walter : Alex, we've known each other for a long time, so I'm entitled to be blunt. Why are we here? Alex : You know why, Walter. To read my new play. Walter : It's not a play. It's just a bunch of unrelated scenes, all of them uncomfortably close to the truth. David : The hell they are! Alex : Might as well get to the point. Well, it's really very simple. When we finish here, we'll know something we didn't know before. David : And what's that? Alex : Which one of you killed Monica Welles. Walter : The woman killed herself! Do you understand? Whether you want to believe it or not, she was depressed, and she jumped out of her bedroom window! Alex : How can you be so certain, Walter? Were you there?! Alex : Permit me my element of surprise, Lloyd. In a mystery, the audience should never know what's coming next. Alex : Surely you don't want to miss the ending. Walter : Well, now what? Alex : Alibis, Walter. Walter : I was wondering when you would get around to that. Alex : I've established that you all had motives... David : Like hell we had. Alex : But motives are nullified by a legitimate alibi. Movie Title: Victor/Victoria (1982) as Toddy: Norma : I think that the right woman could reform you. Toddy : You know, I think the right woman could reform you. Labisse : If you ever come back, I will have you thrown out. Toddy : Don't make it sound like such a threat. Being thrown out of a place like this is significantly better than being thrown out of a leper colony. [Trying to explain why she can't pass for a man] Victoria : Men have Adam's apples. Toddy : So do some women. Victoria : Name one. Toddy : Nana Lanu. Victoria : Nana Lanu, who's she? Toddy : The last woman I slept with. Victoria : When was that? Toddy : The night before the morning I decided to become a homosexual. Victoria : How long have you been a homosexual? Toddy : How long have you been a soprano? Victoria : Since I was 12. Toddy : I was a late bloomer. [Norma is smitten with Toddy, who's gay] Norma : I think that the right woman could reform you. Toddy : You know, I think that the right woman could reform you, too. Toddy : Ugh. There's nothing more inconvenient than an old queen with a head cold. Victoria : You know, pretending to be a man does have its disadvantages. [Victoria goes into the bathroom, leaving Toddy alone in bed] Toddy : [wistfully] My dear Count, you just said a cotton pickin' mouthful. Toddy : I know what you're thinking... and you ought to be ashamed of yourself. [to Victoria] Toddy : Remember, you're a drag queen! Toddy : The last time I saw a specimen like this they had to shoot the horse. Victoria : Let me ask you a question. Toddy : You want to know if I'm a homosexual. Victoria : No. I want to know if you're a hypochondriac. Norma : Me? Give up men? Forget it! Toddy : You took the words right out of my mouth. Toddy : Are you inpuning this lady's integrety? Waiter : She's inpuning my salad. Norma : Oh, I just love French men. Toddy : Haha, me too! Movie Title: Blood on the Moon (1948) as Tate Riling: Jim Garry : I've been mixed up in a lot of things, Tate, but up to now, I've never been hired for my guns. Tate Riling : Can you afford to be so particular? Jake Pindalest : Here's the item we were talking about the other day. I think you'll find it satisfactory. Tate Riling : United States dollars are usually satisfactory, aren't they? Tate Riling : Your cut will be $10,000. Jim Garry : What do I have to do to earn it? Tate Riling : Lufton's tough and my ranchers aren't. You make up the difference. Jim Garry : Shotten, Reardon, and me. Hired gunmen. Tate Riling : Shotten and Reardon get paid in gold eagles. You get paid in thousands. Jim Garry : Yeah. Only difference between us is the price. Movie Title: The Dark at the Top of the Stairs (1960) as Rubin Flood: Executive: We sell new machinery. What do you know about drilling equipment for oil fields? Rubin Flood : Not a thing. Executive: Then why should we hire you? Rubin Flood : You chew tobacco, mister? Executive: I beg your pardon! Rubin Flood : You talk crops and weather? You know who's had a baby lately? You know who goes to church and who don't? Who likes corn liquor and who likes store liquor? Who's a Republican, who's a Democrat? Executive: Our methods are a little more modern than that. Rubin Flood : Well, I'm telling you that the people out here are farmers, no matter how much oil they got in their land. You want to come out of this territory with a profit? You'd be better off taking that diamond stickpin out of your tie and putting a straw hat on the back of your head and a chaw in your cheek! You're gonna have to hunker down and talk business with a man who's cleaning out his pigsty. That's where a lot of sales are made... and it can't be done in a New York suit! Ed Peabody : It's a new world, and we don't belong in it. Rubin Flood : Any world I'm in, I belong in! [Setting out to find a new job.] Rubin Flood : Well, I sold everything else in my time. I guess I can sell myself. Rubin Flood : Oh, you always got a excuse. But the plain fact is, a lot of time goes by without our making love. Cora, this is a marriage! Cora Flood : There are other things in marriage. Rubin Flood : Yeah, but the part I'm talking about is natural! It's normal and it's necessary! God planned it that way, and ain't nobody come up with anything better since Adam and Eve! Rubin Flood : [To Lottie after he overhears her prejudice comments towards Catholics] Hogwash! Malarky! Horse manure! Woman you oughta get yourself a broom and ride over the housetops! You oughta buy yourself a sheet and poke two holes in it and go around setting fires! Or better still, get yourself a big piece of tape and put it over your mouth because you're too ignorant to live! Lottie sometimes I'm ashamed to be related to you even by marriage! Movie Title: The Last Starfighter (1984) as Centauri: Centauri : I'm not here for cigarettes or bubblegum, my boy. Centauri : [to Grig] But I saw him fight! He could be the greatest Starfighter ever! Alex Rogan : That was just a game, Centauri! Centauri : Well, you may have thought it was a game, but it was also a test. Aha, a test! Sent out across the galaxy to find those with the potential to be Starfighters. And here you are, my boy! Here you are! Alex Rogan : Right, here I am, about to be killed! Alex Rogan : Store's closed, mister. Centauri : I'm not here for cigarettes or bubble gum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him? Alex Rogan : Alex Rogan, and you're looking at him. Centauri : [voice in video game] Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada. Centauri : The amusing thing about this, it's all a big mistake. That particular Starfighter game was supposed to be delivered to Vegas, not some fleaspeck trailer park in the middle of tumbleweeds and tarantulas. So it must be fate, destiny, blind chance, luck even, that brings us together. And as the poet said, the rest is history. Alex Rogan : Where are you taking me? Centauri : Centauri told you, it's a surprise. Hey, are you the kind of kid who reads the last page of a mystery first? Who pesters the magician to tell you his tricks? Who sneaks downstairs to peek at his Christmas presents? Noooo, of course you're not. [singsong voice] Centauri : That's why I'm not gonna tell you! Alex Rogan : Oh, God. Rylan Bursar : [disgustedly] Rrrr... E sanchay! Centauri : E sanchay? Onee mat swella! Preeta! Preeta! Alex Rogan : Centauri, what's going on here. Centauri : He's just saying how delighted he is that you're here, and if there's anything he can do make your stay more enjoyable, just give him a ring. Alex Rogan : My stay! What are you talking about? Where are we? Centauri : Welcome to Rylos, my boy! Alex Rogan : Rylos! Wait a min-... you mean, you mean... like the game? Centauri : Oh, he's quick! He's quick! He's very quick! He's speechless! So long, Alex! Have fun! May the luck of the Seven Pillars of Booloo be with you at all times! [muttering] Centauri : Oh, someday these cheapskates will thank me someday, trust Centauri. Rylan Bursar : Return the money, Centauri. Centauri : Return the money! Are you delirious? Do you know how long it look to invent the games? To merchandise them? To get them in the stores by Christmas? Centauri : Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! History, Alex! Did Chris Columbus stay home? Nooooo. What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think that the Ulus were too ugly to save? Alex Rogan : Who's Galoka? Centauri : Never mind. Alex Rogan : Listen, Centauri. I'm not any of those guys, I'm a kid from a trailer park. Centauri : If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be! Centauri : Did Chris Columbus say he wanted to stay home? No! What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think the Udels were too ugly to save? Alex Rogan : [confused] Who's Galoka? Centauri : [realizes his mistake] Never mind. Alex Rogan : Who are you? Centauri : Centauri's the name. I invented Starfighter, which is why I'm here. Alex Rogan : It is? Centauri : It is. We have to talk about a matter of utmost importance. [gestures toward the back seat of his car] Centauri : Step into my office. Centauri : I must congratulate you on your virtuoso performance, my boy. Centauri is impressed. I've seen 'em come, and I've seen 'em go, but you're the best, my boy. Dazzling! Light years ahead of the competition! Centauri's got a little proposition for you. Are ya interested? Centauri : Alex, I want you to know that it was for the greatest good that I brought you back. Of course... it never hurts to be rich. Movie Title: S.O.B. (1981) as Dr. Irving Finegarten: Dr. Irving Finegarten : Come to think of it, why should I give you a vitamin shot? I'm the one with the hangover. B-12, B-Complex, Crude Liver, and a generous jolt of adrenal cortex. Chased by a Bloody Mary. L'chaim! Now Lila, in order to inject this properly I have to expose my gluteus maximus. Lila : Want me to do it for ya? Dr. Irving Finegarten : Are you perchance a nurse? Lila : No, but I used to be a junkie. Dr. Irving Finegarten : Would it endanger your amateur standing if I asked you to use a sterilized needle? Lila : You're the doctor. Dr. Irving Finegarten : Oh, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all week. Tim Culley : You stay in the car. Dr. Irving Finegarten : Who stay in the car? Tim Culley : Him. Stay in the car. Ben Coogan : I don't wanna stay in the car. Tim Culley : Look, we've got to be sly and stealthy, and you're too pissed. Ben Coogan : Bullshit, I can be just as sty and slealthy as you can. Dr. Irving Finegarten : Hello Polly. Polly Reed : Irving! Dr. Irving Finegarten : You look like an anemic turtle. Polly Reed : You're gonna let that SHYSTER on? Dr. Irving Finegarten : I could sue you for calling me that, Polly! A shyster is a disreputable lawyer. I'M a QUACK! |
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