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    Lenny Henry Quotation






    Movie Title: Coast to Coast (1987) as Ritchie:



    Ritchie : They'll send out an ABP.
    John : You mean an APB: "All Points Bulletin."
    Ritchie : No, ABP: "A Big Policeman."

    Movie Title: Chef! (1993) as Gareth:


    [A customer just asked for extra salt]
    Gareth : I hate you more than you can possibly imagine!


    Gareth : [to Piers] Let me explain the order of things to you. There's the aristocracy, the upper class, the middle class, working class, dumb animals, waiters, creeping things, head lice, people who eat packet soup, then you.

    [Gareth is wearing his chef's hat]
    Gareth : Lucinda, I have adorned myself with the culinary condom.


    Gareth : Everton, please remove the maggots, rat carcasses, and corpses of shocked health inspectors and make the place fit for the preparation of sodding food!

    [Everton applies for a position Gareth's wife just asked him to create]
    Gareth : Well, you've got two things going for you. One, we're old school chums. And two, your timing is absolutely, totally, marriage-ruiningly perfect.





    Movie Title: Bernard and the Genie (1991) as Genie:



    Bernard Bottle : So all I have to do is wish?
    Genie : As far as I know; the training for this stupid job is practically nonexistent.


    Genie : Say the words "I wish" with the caution you would normally reserve for "Please castrate me."


    Genie : I can see it now: the loving relatives, the priest, the staggeringly-attractive best man, the shagged-out bridesmaids...


    Genie : One day I was in the Temple when they tried to turn it into a supermarket; Jesus went in there and kicked ass!
    Bernard Bottle : Like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
    Genie : Yes, but with smaller pectorals.


    Genie : And you are a very large turd in a horrible pink shirt.
    Charles Pinkworth : I beg your BLOODY pardon?





    Movie Title: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) as Shrunken Head:



    Shrunken Head : Watch your head!


    Shrunken Head : [while the Knight Bus is stretching to squeeze between two buses] Why the long faces?


    Shrunken Head : Ern, little old lady at twelve o'clock. [the Knight Bus screeches to a halt]
    Shrunken Head : Ten... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... 'tree'... 'tree' and a half... two... one and 'tree' quarters... YES!


    Stan Shunpike : Take it away, Ern.
    Shrunken Head : Yeah, take it away, Ern! Get ready - it's gonna be a bumpy ride!


    Stan Shunpike : What did you say your name was again?
    Harry : I didn't.
    Stan Shunpike : Well, whereabout are you headed?
    Harry : The Leaky Cauldron! That's in London.
    Stan Shunpike : D'you hear that, Ern? The Leaky Cauldron that's in London.
    Shrunken Head : Ah, the Leaky Cauldron! You get the pea soup, make sure you eat it before it eats you!

       
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