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 Pat Buttram QuotationOn Milton Berle: "You know, Milton recently switched from comedy to drama. Unfortunately, it happened while he was still doing comedy." On Mae West: "Do you realize that she went through her life without once having a man say to her, 'You remind me of my mother'?" On Dean Martin: "Dean would eat hay if you dipped it in gin." On Johnny Carson: "He's an Episcopalian - that's an Off-Broadway Catholic." On Ed McMahon: "It's good we honor Ed, because I understand that next week, a group of Texas businessmen are going to buy him, tear him down, and put up a Ramada Inn." On Roy Rogers and Dale Evans: "The Lunt and Fontanne of the fertilizer set." "My voice never quite made it through puberty. It has been described as sounding like a handful of gravel thrown in a Mix-Master." "I didn't get along too well with horses. At the beginning, not too well; at the end, terrible. I always say that horses are hard in the middle and dangerous at both ends." Movie Title: Gene Autry and The Mounties (1951) as Scat Russell: Gene Autry : Say, you're not as dumb as you look! Scat Russell : I couldn't be and live! Movie Title: Beyond the Purple Hills (1950) as Mike Rawley: Gene Autry : Wanted anyplace? Mike Rawley : No, but there's plenty of places I ain't wanted. Movie Title: Indian Territory (1950) as Shadrach Jones: [Shadrach Jones has lost the trail of the Indians he was tracking.] Gene Autry : I thought you were an old Indian scout! Shadrach Jones : Yeah, but these aren't old Indians we're scoutin'. [Gene Autry tends to Shadrach's head wound] Shadrach Jones : Bad? Gene Autry : Not very. Shadrach Jones : Which side? Gene Autry : Left. Shadrach Jones : Good. I've always had a cowlick on that side. Maybe this'll cover it. [Shadrach Jones has just lost all his money gambling.] Gene Autry : Do you know what a fool looks like? Shadrach Jones : I certainly do. I can see myself in the lookin' glass, can't I? Movie Title: Back to the Future Part III (1990) as Saloon Old Timer #3: Doc : And in the future, we don't need horses. We have motorized carriages called automobiles. Saloon Old Timer #3 : If everybody's got one of these auto-whatsits, does anybody walk or run anymore? Doc : Of course we run. But for recreation. For fun. Saloon Old Timer #3 : Run for fun? What the hell kind of fun is that? Saloon Old Timer #3 : You better face up to it, son, 'Cause if you don't go out there... Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen : [Continuing counting to ten] Five! Marty McFly : What? What happens if I don't go out there? Eyepatch : You're a coward. Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen : Six! Toothless : And you'll be branded a coward for the rest of your days! Saloon Old Timer #3 : Evver'body evver'where is gonna say that Clint Eastwood is the biggest yella-belly in the West! Movie Title: Texans Never Cry (1951) as Pecos Bates: Mrs. Carter : Which one of you is a good hand at bees? You know, I got some startin' to swarm and I gotta get them in the hive. Gene Autry : There's your man. [Points to Pecos Bates] Gene Autry : That's all he did before he joined the Rangers. Pecos Bates : Bees? I don't even know my A's! Movie Title: Valley of Fire (1951) as Breezie Larrabee: Breezie Larrabee : Gold! A pure nugget as big as your eyeball. It's a bonanza! I've hit paydirt. Maybe the mother-in-law lode. [A well-dressed stranger claims to have found a gold mine] Breezie Larrabee : If that manicured dude ever turned a spade, it was on the bottom of a deck of cards. Movie Title: Robin Hood (1973) as Sheriff of Nottingham: Sheriff of Nottingham : Wait a minute. Is the safety on Ol' Betsy? Trigger : [Tapping the side of the crossbow] You bet it is, Sheriff. Sheriff of Nottingham : That's what I'm afraid of. You go first. Movie Title: Blue Canadian Rockies (1952) as Rawhide Buttram: [After accidentally knocking out his boss, Rawhide Buttram volunteers to help Gene Autry in Canada] Cyrus Higbee : I'm not sure Canada's far enough to send you! Rawhide Buttram : You gotta admit it's a step in the right direction. [While shooting at a moose, Rawhide's rifle clicks on an empty chamber] Gene Autry : Why don't you try loadin'? Rawhide Buttram : You can't say I didn't give a sportin' chance. |
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