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 Kurt Fuller QuotationMovie Title: Wayne's World (1992) as Russel: Russel : It will be Terry's job to give the actors their hand cue. Wayne Campbell : Excuse me, Russel, but I believe I requested the hand job... Movie Title: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988) as Mr. Clotter: Chastity Pariah : Well, if she's morally unfit, then we have every right to do anything we can to get her out of this town. Are we agreed? Mr. Clotter : I never laid a hand on those sheep, so help me. Elvira : I have seen the People's Court. I'm entitled to one phone call and a strip search. Movie Title: Ghostbusters II (1989) as Hardemeyer: Peter Venkman : Have you been outside lately. Do you know how weird it is out there? We've taken our own head count. There are six million completely miserable assholes living in the tri-state area. Hardemeyer : Oh, please! Peter Venkman : Excuse me, six million and one. Movie Title: Scary Movie (2000) as Sheriff: Gail Hailstorm : Isn't Cindy Campbell's father a suspect? Sheriff : That is classified information, where did you get that from? Gail Hailstorm : Sorry sir, I'm not sharing my sources. [Doofy steps out] Deputy Doofy : Hi Gail... Gail swallows. Movie Title: That's My Bush! (2001) as Karl Rove / Karl / Karl Rova: Karl : The head of the Anti-Abortion group is here, and I hear he's sort of a freak. George W. Bush : What kind of a freak? Karl : Well, apparently he was aborted 30 years ago, but survived. He is bitter, he is angry, and he hates being cancelled on. Karl Rova : Republicans are not supposed to ban guns! Karl : What are you doing? George : What does it look like? We're putting the cat to sleep. Karl : Why are you doing it with that douche? George : Larry's the only one who would help me. George W. Bush : Karl thinks I should put my cat to sleep and I don't know how to tell Laura about it. Larry O'Shea : Oh, Mr. Republican Conservative Tightass here suddenly believes in assistant death. Karl Rove : What the hell are you talking about? Larry O'Shea : You're a hippicrit. It was you Republicans that put Jack Kevorkian in jail. Karl Rove : Oh please, that is totally different, Jack Kevorkian puts people to sleep. George W. Bush : Who's Jack Kevorkian? Larry O'Shea : The doctor who helped people with terminal diseases committ suicide. He helped dozens of people who were in horrible pain and what did you do? You conservatives threw his ass in jail. George W. Bush : We did? Larry O'Shea : If you think it's humane to put an old and sick cat to sleep, then why is it illegal to do it for humans? George W. Bush : Yeah, how come, Karl? Karl Rove : Because only human beings have a soul, Mr. President. George W. Bush : Because only human beings have a soul, Larry. Larry O'Shea : Not according to a Hendu. George W. Bush : What's a Hendu? Larry O'Shea : Lays eggs. Look, George, you need to take a cold, hard look at your stance on euthenasia. George W. Bush : Huh! I don't care about them. They're conformous and they're communist. Karl Rove : Who? George W. Bush : The youth-in-Asia. Come on, you know, Chinese, Japanese, Dirty-Knees, Look-at-these. Karl Rove : Thank you for getting me that date, Mrs. Bush, now all I have to do is figure out how to tell my wife. |
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