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 Colin Quinn QuotationMovie Title: A Night at the Roxbury (1998) as Dooey: [standing a good 10 ft away from mr. Zadir] Mr. Zadir : Dooey, did you grab my Ass? Dooey : Sir, from where I'm standing it would be a physical impossibility. Movie Title: Saturday Night Live 80 (1975) as Colin Quinn / Thug Santa Claus: ["Weekend Update" closing line] Colin Quinn : That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Robert De Niro : Who're you supposed to be? Colin Quinn : Colin Quinn. Nathan Lane: My kid saw that Tim Allen movie nine times. He loves Santa. Thug Santa Claus : Kid, let me tell you something. I did time with Tim Allen. He's real people but he's no Santa Claus. Harry Caray : Hey, if you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself? Colin Quinn : I don't know. Harry Caray : Don't jerk me around, Norm, it's a simple question. A baby could answer it. If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself? Colin Quinn : I guess so. Harry Caray : Oh, you made a wise choice, my friend. Colin Quinn : You know how you go to your favorite bar, and your local bartender isn't there? You ask, "Where's Jeff?" "Jeff no longer works here, I'm Steve." Then you're thinking, hey, who's this idiot? I like Jeff. But you still want your drink. And even though Steve doesn't mix your drink the same way you're used to, like Jeff, you still like the bar. You don't want to have to go to a different bar. And even Steve might feel kinda bad because Jeff trained him. Jeff showed him how to work the cash register, where the tonic was on the soda gun, who tips, who doesn't. Well, I'm Steve. What can I get you? Movie Title: Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary (2003) as Colin Quinn: Colin Quinn : You're lucky Kiefer Sutherland is here. Otherwise, I'd be up here making "Mighty Duck" jokes to Emilio Estevez. |
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