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 McLean Stevenson QuotationMovie Title: M*A*S*H (1972) as Henry Blake: Henry Blake : Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war and rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is doctors can't change rule number one. Henry Blake : Did you really yell give me an incubator or give me death? Henry Blake : Do we have enough sherry and ginger-ale for the General?" Radar : Oh, nobody does sir. Henry Blake : Oh, fine then, if nobody does we don't have too but make sure we do just in case we don't. Henry Blake : You're always wrong Frank. That's what's so right about you. Henry Blake : Will you stop saying what I'm thinking? Radar : Well someone has to. Henry Blake : Frank, whatever it is, just write it down and put it on my desk where I can't find it. Radar : Sir, there's someone waiting to see you. Henry Blake : I was born with someone waiting to see me. Henry Blake : Radar, turn on the news. Maybe the war just ended and I won't have to talk to her. [A chopper is carrying Lt. Col. Blake's desk away] Hawkeye : Pardon me, Henry, isn't that your desk? Henry Blake : Yeah, that's my genuine antique desk. Trapper : Sending it out to be waxed? Henry Blake : I'm not sure what it's doing up there. Just keeps going up... up... up... Hawkeye : To a far, far better place, I'm sure. Henry Blake : Radar, whatever it is, sign it, cancel it, or order five more. [Henry is appointing a head surgeon] Frank Burns : I'm well prepared, sir. Henry Blake : Good, Frank. 'Cause I'm giving the job to Pierce. Frank Burns : WHAT? You can't. I won't stand for it. Henry Blake : Frank. The one thing that will get you nowhere with me is impersonating my wife. Now, I think that Pierce is the most fully competent surgeon around here, specializing in both chest and general surgery. Frank Burns : Are you suggesting he's a better surgeon than I am? Henry Blake : Yes. When the heat's on. [Klinger reads Henry a letter from his mom that says his dad's dying] Henry Blake : Your father's dying, right? Corporal Klinger : Yes, sir. Henry Blake : [takes out a stack of papers and reads them] Father dying last year. Mother dying last year. Mother AND father dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Here's an oldie but a goodie: Half the family dying, the other half pregnant. [after Klinger tries once again to get out of the Army] Henry Blake : Klinger, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Corporal Klinger : Yes, sir. I don't deserve to be in the Army. Radar : Colonel, do you know what I found in the morning's mail? Henry Blake : Now, that's a toughie. Hum a few bars, won't you, Radar? Henry Blake : [his last words to Radar] You behave or I'm gonna come back and kick your butt. |
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