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 Saul Rubinek QuotationMovie Title: Ticket to Heaven (1981) as Larry: Larry : I love you, and Sarah. As individuals. Together, you're a mess. Movie Title: Dick (1999) as Henry Kissinger: Henry Kissinger : Excuse me, Mr. President. I was not informed that you were in the middle of... what the hell ARE you in the middle of? Henry Kissinger : It's alright, gentlemen. I'm familiar with these two young ladies. Well, not "familiar", familiar, obviously. Henry Kissinger : I'll take responsibility here. I'll be the only person in this administration who's willing to take responsibility for anything. Movie Title: Unforgiven (1992) as W.W. Beauchamp / Beauchamp: W.W. Beauchamp : Who'd you kill first? Was it Little Bill? When confronted by superior numbers, an experienced gunfighter will *always* fire on the best shot first. Bill Munny : Is that a fact? W.W. Beauchamp : [Nods] Bill Munny : I was lucky in the order, but I've always been lucky when it comes to killin' folk. [Beauchamp has gotten on Will's nerves after the gunfight] Beauchamp : Who was next? I bet it was Clyde or maybe Deputy Andy? Will Munny : I don't know; but I know who the next one killed will be. Beauchamp : Oh, ah... [runs out the back door] Movie Title: True Romance (1993) as Lee: [To driver that cut him off] Lee : Don't give me the finger. I'll fucking have you killed. [Lee Donowitz is discussing possible titles for his next film] Lee : What does Joe like? Elliot : Um..."Body Bags 2". Lee : Oooo, that's imaginative. I've got more taste in my penis. Lee : [on the phone] Who the fuck is Dick? Elliot : Huh? You want me to suck his dick? Lee : How do you know his name? Why the fuck does he know your name? You piece of shit. You can forget about acting for the next twenty years, your fucking career is over. Take your fucking SAG card and burn it. You little cocksucker. I treated you like a son. You fucking stab me in the heart. Boris : Lee, this guy's... Lee : Boris, please, I'm meeting people right now. Clarence Worley : Uh, Mr. Donowitz. Lee : Oh, Clarence, don't insult me, just call me Lee. Boris : Lee. Lee : Boris, shut the fuck up. Lee : Boris, shut the fuck up. We're all gonna die here. These are cops. Boris : So what, they're cops, who gives a shit? Hey Lee, there's something I never told you about me: I hate fuckin' cops. Movie Title: Frasier (1993) as Donny Douglas: Donny Douglas : Where's Daphne? I got this little gift for her. Niles : Oh, a John Deere cap. How... could you? Donny Douglas : Oh, no, I'm just giving it to her to see her pretend to like it. Then I'm gonna give her a bracelet. Movie Title: Getting Even with Dad (1994) as Bobby: Timmy : If I win this game... Bobby : We gotta take you to Paris tonight? Timmy : You don't have to take me to Paris, just Baskin Robbins. Movie Title: Laughter on the 23rd Floor (2001) as Ira: [Ira has written "I Have A Brain Tumor" on the wall] Max : Is that gonna wash off? Ira : Don't you care what might happen to me. Max : First let's discuss what happened to my wall. Is that gonna wash off? Ira : I don't think so. It's a permanent marker. Max : If that doesn't wash off, you will DEFINITELY have a brain tumor. Brian : The game is funny names. Ira : You against me? Where's the challenge? You can have all the other writers. Carol : Why do I want children? Look what they become. Val : All right. Let's get this over with. What's the bet? Ira : Shoes! We're playing for shoes. (They take off their shoes) My seventy dollar aligators against his Irish clogs after 15 St. Patrick's Day parades. Val : Aaaaaand...Go! Brian : Rabbi John Wayne. Writers: Eh. Ira : The Count of Monte through Friday. Writers: Oooh! Brian : Ira Chuvney. Ira : Ira Chuvney. That's my name. What's funny about that. Brian : Nothing. NOTHING IS FUNNY ABOUT IRA CHUVNEY! Writers: (Applaud) |
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