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 Kyle Gass QuotationMovie Title: Tenacious D (1999) as Kyle Gass: Jack Black : Kyle, if I was in a wheelchair, would you visit me? Feed me? Brush my teeth? Kyle Gass : Yes. Jack Black : Would you read to me? Kyle Gass : Why couldn't you read? Jack Black : Just don't want to. Kyle Gass : Yes. Jack Black : Would you take a bullet for me? Kyle Gass : No. Backstage Betty : Hey, boys. You were incredible. Your songs, the way you moved...you did it. You blew me away. So which one of you assholes is gonna fuck me? Kyle Gass : ...I will. [describing Flarna] Kyle Gass : What's she like? Jack Black : She's totally into Satan. Kyle Gass : You love Satan. Jack Black : I know! She's got her spine pierced. Kyle Gass : Dude, you're totally into spinal piercing! Jack Black : And she loves to clog! [Looking for Jack's guitar pick] Kyle Gass : I got it!.... no wait, that's a bottle cap Jack Black : Kyle! Did you look underneath THE BAR? Kyle Gass : Yeah, nothing! Paul : Ok, you guys, seriously, sincerely, you have to get out of here! We're closed! Jack Black : Look, tomorrow when you're cleaning the floor if you find.. Paul : We only clean on holidays. [Describing obsessed fan, Lee] Jack Black : This guy is total stalkerazzi Kyle Gass : He's full love-knife material. Jack Black : Love knife? Kyle Gass : Yeah, they get in close, too close, 'Man, I love you guys so much, I have to show you..' [pretends to stab Jack] Kyle Gass : And then, you're bloody all over, and they think they're doing a good thing... Lee : Guys! Jack Black & Kyle Gass: AHHHHH! Jack Black : Kyle, what's wrong? Kyle Gass : Dude, I'm... I'm balding. Jack Black : Yeah, dude, you ARE bald. Kyle Gass : DING! BalDING! Jack Black : Yeah, ding. Balding Paul : There's a cover charge. Jack Black : Piece of the gate! Pro Gig! Paul : No, you'd actually have to pay the cover to get in. Kyle Gass : It's still a fuckin' road gig! Movie Title: Shallow Hal (2001) as Artie: Artie : It never occurred to you that picking girls solely on their looks may not be the best way to go about it? Hal : What, am I supposed to apologize for having high standards? Jen : High standards? In the five years I've known you, every woman, I should say girl, you've gone after has been completely out of your league. Hal : What's that supposed to mean? Artie : Oh, she doesn't mean anything by it. She just saying you're not that good looking. Hal : Oh! I thought she was implying something really mean. |
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