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    Bob Newhart Quotation


    "Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on."



    Movie Title: Newhart (1982) as Dick Loudon:



    George Utley : Dick, I cleared out that obstruction in the chimney.
    Dick Loudon : Thanks George. What was it?
    George Utley : I don't know but when I woke it up, it ran away.

    Movie Title: Legally Blonde 2:
    Red, White & Blonde (2003) as Sid:


    Elle : Ughhh. All day long I felt like white open-toed shoes after Labor Day.
    Sid : I hate that feeling, whatever that means.





    Movie Title: Cold Turkey (1971) as Wren:



    Wren : Big clocks are never wrong!





    Movie Title: The Rescuers Down Under (1990) as Bernard:



    Bernard : [to a razorback] Now look. I've got a long way to go, you're gonna take me there, and you're not gonna give me any trouble about it. Right? [Razorback shakes head]
    Bernard : Good. Now git.

    Jake: So, which route are you taking? Suicide Trail through Nightmare Gorge, or the shortcut down Satan's Ridge?
    Bernard : Su-suicide Trail? Jake: Good choice. More snakes, less quicksand.





    Movie Title: In & Out (1997) as Tom Halliwell:



    Walter Brackett : I'm a member of the community. And I'm gay.
    Tom Halliwell : But you're Howard's brother. [pause]
    Tom Halliwell : As you know.





    Movie Title: The Rescuers (1977) as Bernard:


    [Orville has skidded face-first on the runway]
    Bernard : Are... are you hurt, sir?
    Orville : Nope. One of my better landings, Bud.


    Bianca : [watching Orville fly] Doesn't he fly beautifully? And you wanted to take the train, you fraidy cat.
    Bernard : Fraidy cat? No, uh... it's just that I like trains. I mean, they serve Roquefort, and... [Orville flies in too low]
    Bernard : [Gasp] Pull up! Pull up!

    [Passing through the zoo, Bernard is scared by a lion's roar]
    Bianca : What did you do to make him so mad?
    Bernard : Nothing, he's just... just a grumpy old lion.
    Bianca : Well, after all, you woke him up in the middle of the night. Wouldn't you be grumpy too?


    Orville : Say there, Bud. Read the check list to me.
    Bernard : Okay. "Goggles down"?
    Orville : [Adjusting goggles] Check.
    Bernard : "Wing flaps down"?
    Orville : [Adjusting wings] Check.
    Bernard : "Tail feathers"?
    Orville : [shaking tail] Double check.
    Bernard : "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." [looks apprehensive]
    Orville : And here we go!

    [after escaping Medusa and Snoops]
    Bernard : Are you all right,dear?
    Bianca : She tried to kill us,that terrrible woman!Ohhh,if I was only a ten foot mouse,I'd show her!

    [while trying to get Medusa's motorboat to run]
    Bernard : [to Bianca,who is above on the steering wheel] Advance the spark! [Bianca honks the horn]
    Bernard : Not the horn! The spark lever! [to Bianca]
    Bernard : It's that doohickey on the steering wheel!

       
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