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 Richard Edson QuotationMovie Title: Stranger Than Paradise (1983) as Eddie: Eddie : You know, it's funny... you come to someplace new, an'... and everything looks just the same. Willie : No kiddin', Eddie. Eddie : You know, last year before I met your cousin, I never know you were from Hungary or Budapest or any of those places. Willie : So what? Eddie : I thought you were an American. Willie : Hey, I'm as American as you are. [Silence. They begin driving into Cleveland.] Eddie : Does Cleveland look a little like, uh, Budapest? Willie : Eddie, shut up. Movie Title: Shannon's Deal (1990) as Wilmer Slade: Jack Shannon : Then you should understand that a payment of this size is going to make Mr. Testa very upset. Wilmer Slade : Why do I sense an oncoming assault on logic? Wilmer Slade : Yo, Shannon! I've been freezing my posterior regions waiting for you. That your daughter? Jack Shannon : You been tailing me, Wilmer? Wilmer Slade : I didn't want to interrupt a family situation. Jack Shannon : Very tactful of you. [Wilmer informs Jack that a convict with a grudge has put a price on Jack's head.] Jack Shannon : Where would he get that kind of money? Wilmer Slade : Shannon, all due respect, uh, what makes you think you're worth all "that kind of money?" Jack Shannon : Oh. Glad you're here to protect me from overweening pride. Wilmer Slade : "Overweening?" Jack Shannon : Thought you'd like that. Wilmer Slade : I'm gonna make like a leper and intercept any cash that may flow your way until I have the renumeration in hand. Jack Shannon : What's that mean in English? Wilmer Slade : Whither thou goest, I shall go. Until I get at least a thousand in my pocket. Jack Shannon : All right, let's get going. Wilmer Slade : Lay on, MacDuff. [Shannon stares at him.] Wilmer Slade : Shakespeare. I find vocabulary studies so limiting. Lucy Acosta : So what'd you get? Jack Shannon : You'd be proud of me. I milked him for two hundred dollars. Lucy Acosta : Hey! Everybody's entitled to get paid. Now don't seem too personal. I mean, any other lawyer would milk harder and care less. Wilmer Slade : [holds out his hand] Your good luck is mine. Jack Shannon : Awwww... Movie Title: Sunshine State (2002) as Steve Tregaskis): Steve Tregaskis) : [Dressed as a Civil War re-enactor] You can't live in the past. Movie Title: Strange Days (1995) as Tick: Tick : One man's mundane and desperate existence is another man's Technicolor. Movie Title: Good Morning, Vietnam (1987) as Private Abersold: Lieutenant Steven Hauk : "Good morning, Vietnam." What the heck is that supposed to mean? Private Abersold : I don't know, Lieutenant, I guess it means good morning, Vietnam. Lieutenant Steven Hauk : And who gave him permission to play modern music? [Listening to Cronauer] Private Abersold : You know, he's funny, he's like a Marx Brother. Lieutenant Steven Hauk : And which Marx Brother would that be, Private? Zeppo? I don't find him funny at all. Private Abersold : Zeppo? Wasn't he the one with the hat? Lt. Steven Hauk : Who do we have slated for live entertainment in November? Sgt. Major Dickerson : Well, we originally wanted Bob Hope, but it turns out he won't come. Lt. Steven Hauk : Why not? Edward Garlick : He doesn't play police actions, just wars. Bob likes a big room, sir. Lt. Steven Hauk : That is not funny! Private Abersold : How about if it escalated? Lt. Steven Hauk : How about if what escalated? Private Abersold : The Vietnam conflict. Lt. Steven Hauk : The Vietnam conflict. We are not going to escalate a whole war just so we can book a big name comedian! Movie Title: Super Mario Bros. (1993) as Spike: Spike : We were wrong again. How many times have we got this wrong? Iggy : *You've* gotten it wrong five times. Spike : Home for five. Home for five. What percent is that? Iggy : I dunno. Let me think. [pause] Iggy : I dunno. But it's not good. Spike : If we get it wrong one more time, he's gonna kill us. Iggy : He's not gonna kill us. He's not that nice. Spike : Ah-ha. [snapping fingers] Spike : Big Bertha. The Bouncer at the Boom Boom Bar. [Entering the Boom Boom Bar] Luigi : Isn't this a little bit feminine? Iggy : Yes, I know. It was my ex wife's. Mario : But you wear this stuff? Spike : Yes. On occasion, we have a... date. Mario : Who do you date, a canary? Movie Title: Do the Right Thing (1989) as Vito: Sal : Pino, get a broom and sweep out front. Pino : Vito, get a broom and sweep out front. Vito : Huh? Pino : Get a broom and sweep out front. Vito : What? Pino : GET A BROOM AND SWEEP OUT FRONT! Vito : See Pop, it's just what I was telling ya, everytime you tell Pino what to do, he tells me to do what you told him what to do. Movie Title: Eight Men Out (1988) as Billy Maharg: [Burns and Maharg are discussing Eddie Ciccotte] Bill Burns : Eddie's gettin' too old for this. I know what it's like. You walk out there with your arm about to fall off. Billy Maharg : You couldn't pitch when you was younger, Burnsie. [Burns and Maharg approach Abe Atell at the racetrack] Abe Atell : They don't take nickle bets down here fellows. (to Burns)You, you were a ball player. Bill Burns : Bill Burns. Abe Atell : 'Sleepy' Bill Burns! Strictly bench material. Bill Burns : I won a few games. Abe Atell : You lost a few more. [to Maharg] Abe Atell : And you my friend did not get that nose bobbing for apples. Billy Maharg : I was a fighter; sort of. Abe Atell : Sort of. Let me see; Maharg. Billy Maharg! Billy Maharg : Yeah. You seen me fight? Abe Atell : Yeah, I seen you fight. You were a bum. [Hap Felsch has run into the outfield wall to make a catch] Billy Maharg : He's gonna knock his brains out doin' that! Bill Burns : What brains? Shoeless Joe is ignorant; Hap Felsch is just dumb. Movie Title: Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) as Garage Attendant: Ferris : Hi. Do you speak English? Garage Attendant : Uh, what country do you think this is? Garage Attendant : You guys got nothing to worry about, I'm a professional. Cameron : A professional what? Movie Title: Shannon's Deal (1989) as Wilmer Slade: Wilmer Slade : Mr. Shannon? Jack Shannon : What are you? FBI? CIA? Wilmer Slade : I.O.U. Wilmer Slade : I'm here to make certain that you honor some of your fiduciary responsibilities. Jack Shannon : What, you get a dictionary for Christmas? Who sent you? Rodney? Wilmer Slade : You owe Rodney money, too? Jack Shannon : I owe everybody money. Jack Shannon : Hey, I know you from somewhere. Wilmer Slade : I don't recall ever making your acquaintance. Jack Shannon : Berlitz open a school for button men? What's with the vocabulary? Wilmer Slade : I'm trying to increase my word power, all right? I'm going to night school. Cut me some slack, Jack! Wilmer Slade : I was instructed to inform you that if a substantial payment is not made, there could be dire consequences. Jack Shannon : I might have the weight advantage on you, Wilmer. Wilmer Slade : There could be weapons involved. Jack Shannon : I see your point. Wilmer Slade : Isn't there nobody you could get the five bills from? Jack Shannon : I owe my daughter ten bucks for lunch yesterday. She's twelve years old. Wilmer Slade : Oh, man, this is pathetic. |
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