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 Dean Jones QuotationMovie Title: Blackbeard's Ghost (1968) as Steve Walker: Steve Walker : You took that money, didn't you? Blackbeard : (Thinking a moment.) Money...money... OH, the odd flimsy I removed from the pocketbook of your book-ish wench. Captain Blackbeard : What manner of craft be this we're cruisin' in? Steve Walker : It's an automobile. Captain Blackbeard : Eh? Steve Walker : An automobile! Captain Blackbeard : Oh, is it? Yes. An "automotonus". Movie Title: The Love Bug (1968) as Jim Douglas / Van Hippy: Carole : Help, I'm a prisoner! I can't get out! Van Hippy : We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in. [looks over at his hippy partner] Van Hippy : Huh, a couple of weirdos, Guenivere. Jim Douglas : Without a real car, I'm only half a man. Jim Douglas : Why is it the only food we have in this house is parrot food? We don't have a parrot. Tennessee Steinmetz : Eat that! That's good. That's pressed kelp. That aerates your liver. [Tenessee's car is gone] Jim Douglas : Where's the beast? You didn't cut up the Edsel! [The Edsel grill is hanging on a rack with many cut up car parts] Tennessee Steinmetz : Came over me all of a sudden. Seemed like the only decent thing do. Don't worry, Jim, it'll be happier up there. Jim Douglas : What do you know? The engine stalled. Carole : [tries to get out] How about that? The door's stuck. That's how it is with cars sometimes. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens next. Jim Douglas : Well, as someone very wisely once said, "That's how it is with cars sometimes." Carole : I just said that. Jim Douglas : Oh. Jim Douglas : You don't understand what happens, do you? They make ten thousand cars, they make them exactly the same way, and one or two of 'em turn out to be something special. Nobody knows why. Jim Douglas : I may be kidding myself, but I think I can make something out of that sad little bucket of bolts. [Thorndyke kicks the little white car in his shop] Jim Douglas : What's that for? Mr. Thorndyke : I beg your pardon! Jim Douglas : Well, why don't you let the little car alone? Mr. Thorndyke : Are you presuming to tell me what to do in my own establishment? Jim Douglas : Ok, I'm out of line. It just bugs me to see somebody abusing a decent piece of machinery. Jim Douglas : Has everybody gone nuts around here? I can understand how Tennessee feels, he's just in off a flying saucer. Carole : I wonder if your reputation is altogether true. Jim Douglas : What's my reputation? Carole : Oh, I've heard that Jim Douglas is only interested in fast cars and easy money. Jim Douglas : Not true. Carole : Oh? Jim Douglas : Mm-hmm. You know something else? Carole : What? Jim Douglas : When the light hits you just right, you're as beautiful as General Grant on a $ 50 bill. Jim Douglas : [on the phone] Yeah, yeah, Thorndyke. I know what you did to my car. You need your brains kicked out. Movie Title: Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (1977) as Jim Douglas: [In the final stage of the race, Bruno Von Stickle won't let Herbie pass him] Wheely Applegate : Dirty road hog! Why doesn't he learn how to drive? Jim Douglas : He knows how to drive, that's the trouble! [They go round a pair of sharp curves, and Von Stickle does a better job of taking them than Herbie] Wheely Applegate : Yeah, I see what you mean. Wheely Applegate : [about a French man] I didn't understand what he was saying. Jim Douglas : That's Ok. I'm sure he didn't understand what you were saying either. Come to think of it, I don't think I understood what you were saying. Jim Douglas : You listen to me, Herbie, and you listen good. Now, you and I did not come out of mothballs to be the laughingstock of the continent. [Wheely and Jim are dusussing to each other about females] Wheely Applegate : They never say what they mean. That's what makes the female the species deadlier than the male. Jim Douglas : You read that some place? Wheely Applegate : Yes, and I've got a mother, three sisters, and two ex-wives to prove it. Oh, they never told me they wanted me out of the house, but every time I came home, the lock was changed. Jim Douglas : Is that a knocking I hear in the gas tank? Wheely Applegate : Not in my gas tank. Never! Jim Douglas : Sounds like something clonking around in there. Wheely Applegate : [not giving in to any problems that could stop them from resuming the race] Well, we wither listen to the driver and stop to take the gas tank apart, or we listen to the mechanic and try to win this race. Jim Douglas : I'm listening to the mechanic. Wheely Applegate : Herbie, what are you doing? Herbie, there's no time! Jim Douglas : Forget it, Wheely. He's gonna get his girlfriend out of the mud. Wheely Applegate : [sees a car whiz by them] And us out of the race. Jim Douglas : Come on, you come with us. Diane Darcy : No, no, I - -I'm gonna stay with my car. Wheely Applegate : Looks like we're all gonna stay with her car. [we see Herbie drive up and park right next to the Lancia, where they open each other's doors to kiss] Wheely Applegate : [sees their opponent 'Bruno Von Stickle' whiz by them, and he says a line that Jim said earlier, that goes with the problem] Well, you can believe this: We are now out of the money, because 'sometimes a comeback comes second.' Jim Douglas : Who's giving up, buddy? Not Me! Jim Douglas : [trying to think out any clue of where Herbie and the Lancia could be, but Diane doesn't get what he's asking, and think he's trying to hit on her] Where would you take a boyfriend on his first night to Paris? Diane Darcy : 'Boyfriend?' Don't tell me this is your cute way of making a pass. Jim Douglas : If I had romance in mind, would he be along? [points to Wheely] Wheely Applegate : Right. [suddenly makes an annoyed-looking frown] Movie Title: That Darn Cat! (1965) as Zeke Kelso: Ingrid Randall : Say! Patti Randall : Shush! Ingrid Randall : What do you mean shush? This is my room! Zeke Kelso : Patti! I'm gonna have to ask you to quiet down, and that goes for you too! Why hello there. Ingrid Randall : Who are you! How do you get off telling me to be quiet in my own room! [Zeke hands her his badge] Ingrid Randall : What's this thing supposed to be, I don't know anything about that stuff. Zeke Kelso : You mean you want me to trail the cat as if he's a person? Supervisor, Mr. Newton : Unless it would be easier to trail him as a cat! Zeke Kelso : Miss Randall, I'm afraid you underestimate me. We shall proceed with the pawprinting [D.C. the Cat hisses violently] Patti Randall : Cad-sakes, you're bleeding! Zeke Kelso : Oh, it's nothing, probably just an artery. Zeke Kelso : Do you have any regulars, or people going in and out of the house all the time? Patti Randall : Father always complained that we were running a rehab center for punch-drunk juveniles. Zeke Kelso : So, this is the "informant", as we say down at the station. Patti Randall : You hear that, D.C.? You're an informant now. Movie Title: The Opposite Sex (1956) as Go-fer: Go-fer : I'd give every cent I've got to be a millionaire. Movie Title: Beethoven (1992) as Dr. Varnick: Dr. Varnick : Here for his shots? George Newton : Yes. Dr. Varnick : Well he'll be a little groggy this evening. George Newton : That'll be nice. |
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