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 Kelly Bishop QuotationMovie Title: Wonder Boys (2000) as Amanda Leer: Grady Tripp : I hope you don't find this forward Amanda, but I wonder if I might ask: Did you ever go to Catholic school? Amanda Leer : Excuse me? Movie Title: Dirty Dancing (1987) as Marjorie Houseman: Marjorie Houseman : It's his first real vacation in six years, Max. Take it easy. Max : Three weeks here, it'll feel like a year. Marjorie Houseman : [while watching Baby dance] I think she gets it from me. Lisa: God, I'm so sick of this rain. Remind me never to take my honeymoon at Niagara Falls. Marjorie Houseman : So, you go to Acapulco. Lisa: Oh my God. Look at that! Ma, I should have brought my coral shoes. You said I was taking to much! Marjorie Houseman : Well sweetheart, you brought ten pairs. Lisa: But the coral shoes match that dress! Jake Houseman : This is not a tragedy. A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine or police dogs used in Birmingham. Baby : Monks burning themselves in protest. Lisa: Butt out Baby. Movie Title: Gilmore Girls (2000) as Emily: Emily : You were on the phone? Richard : Long distance. Lorelai : God? Richard : London. Lorelai : God lives in London? Richard : My mother lives in London. Lorelai : Your mother is God? Richard : Lorelai... Lorelai : So, God *is* a woman. Richard : Lorelai. Lorelai : *And* a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors. Richard : Make her stop. Rory : Oh, that I could. Lorelai : Hey Mom. You didn't make it back to the room last night. Did you get lucky? Emily : Could you be any cruder? Lorelai : Yeah, I can be cruder. Hey mom, did you get la... Rory : Thanks for coming. It was fun. Is everything okay? Lorelai : Heh, you know what I just realized? "Oy" is the funniest word in the entire world. Rory : Hmm. Lorelai : I mean think about it, you never hear the word "oy" and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word. Emily : Oh dear God. Lorelai : "Poodle" is another funny word. Emily : Please drink your drink, Lorelai. Lorelai : In fact, if you put "oy" and "poodle" together, in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catchphrase, you know? Like, "Oy with the poodles already." Rory : Hehe. Lorelai : So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catchphrase: Rory : Oy with the poodles already. Lorelai : I'm telling you, it's knocking "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" right out of first place. Emily : I did not steal your father I simply gave him a choice. Richard : When you came to my fraternity in that blue dress, I had no choice. Lorelai : You stole my father with fashion. Emily : I can't believe you remember the dress. Lorelai : I can't believe you were the other woman. Lorelai : Please do not tell me that you are sitting right in front of me. Emily : No, it's a hologram. Life like, isn't it? Emily : I'm sure he would have appreciated having his life's work honored like that Luke : He would've called me a damn fool Emily : Oh Emily : Lorelai, you almost ran me over. Lorelai : Well, good thing we're in a hospital. Emily : I'm surprised you can eat at this point, even salad. Rory : There's still room. Lorelai : And if there isn't room, we'll add on. I know a good contractor. Claude : She's like your Jerry Lewis. She's very, very funny. [Emily's friend 'Sweetie' has just passed away] Lorelai : Was that her real name - Sweetie? Emily : No, her name was Melinda. Sweetie was a nickname. Lorelai : Why? Emily : What do you mean, why? Lorelai : I mean, how did they get Sweetie from Melinda? Emily : They didn't get Sweetie from Melinda. Sweetie is a nickname. Lorelai : Yes, I know Sweetie was a nickname, but usually, a nickname comes from a version of your name, or there's a story behind the name or something. Emily : She was sweet. That's the story. Lorelai : Okay. Emily : She had a very sweet nature. Lorelai : Hmm. Emily : Well, what kind of story did you want, Lorelai? Lorelai : No, that's fine. She was sweet. They called her Sweetie. It's a good story. Emily : No, really. Exactly what kind of story about my recently departed friend would amuse you? Lorelai : Mom, it's not to amuse me. It's... Emily : All right, fine. Sweetie's father was a very poor man - so poor that Sweetie and her four siblings all had to sleep in a hollowed-out tree trunk because the house was only big enough for their parents. One winter, there was no food, so Sweetie crawled out of her trunk, wrapped her feet in newspaper, and walked forty miles in the snow to the nearest town, where she stumbled into a candy store. The owner took pity on her and gave her bags of candy, a dill pickle, and drove her back to her family. He promptly offered a job to her father, who gladly accepted and eventually owned that store and turned it into one of the most important candy emporiums in the world. And that is how she got the name Sweetie. There, how was that? Lorelai : Now, that was a pretty good story. Lorelai : Independence inn. Emily : You really should identify yourself when you answer the phone at work. Lorelai : Sorry. Independence Inn, major disappointment speaking. Better? Emily : Oh my God. There was a bench here. Richard : They moved it last year. Emily : I can't believe this. Lorelai : Me either. What if we wanted to sit down? Lorelai : This is amazing chicken, Mom. I mean it, really great. Emily : Thank you, Lorelai. Lorelai : It's like super chicken. I bet it could fly. Have you tried tossing it out the window? Emily : What is that? Lorelai : It's a paper clip. Emily : And what do you intend to do with that paper clip? Lorelai : I intend to carve something really dirty into the bathroom door. Emily : Lorelai. Lorelai : What rhymes with Nantucket? Natalie : [to Lorelai] You have your mother's wit. Emily : Sometimes I wish she'd give it back. Emily : I've called several times the past few weeks and you've skillfully avoided every call. Lorelai : No, that's not true. I've left messages on your machine. Emily : Yes, messages. And then if I happened to pick up, you'd hang up. Or if the maid picked up, you'd ask for me, then claim you were driving through a tunnel so you might get cut off, and then you'd make garbling noises and hang up. Emily : What can we do in a bathroom? Lorelai : Meet George Michael. Emily : What? Richard : His head is shaped like a football. Emily : It is not. Richard : If he fell asleep in the park, someone would try to punt him. Emily : I guess it must be present time. Rory : You didn't have to. Lorelai : Oh yeah, Mom, you didn't have to. Unless you got something that'll fit me too, in which case, good going. Rory : Grandma, I can't believe you found the recipe for Beefaroni. Emily : It wasn't easy. Antonia thought I'd gone insane. Lorelai : Well . . . Emily : No one needs a comment from you. Emily : Walk as you babble please. Emily : Focus the picture Lorelai. Lorelai : It is focused. Rory : That's how it came out. Emily : It's hurting my eyes. Lorelai : Come on Mom, they're supposed to be a little arty. Rory : Plus she doesn't know how to use her camera. Lorelai : I've only had it six years. Emily : It's like I have glaucoma. Richard : Lorelai, this is just beautiful. It's like something out of Architectural Digest. You should be very proud. Lorelai : Thanks Dad. Emily : Your dress needs pressing. Lorelai : Thanks Mom. Lorelai : Okay, I'm just gonna let everyone deal with all this because I need to relax and get a cup of coffee and maybe hammer a nail into my head. Emily : You're not needed here, Lorelai. Go get your coffee, relax. You're going to redo your makeup later, aren't you? Lorelai : Maybe an Irish coffee. Emily : You're having a baby - do you know that, Lorelai? Lorelai : Well, that explains the stomachache. [Lorelai swallows several pills] Emily : What are you taking? Lorelai : Rufies? Rory : Aspirin. Emily : You have the word "Juicy" on your rear end. Lorelai : Well, if I knew you were coming over, I would've changed. Emily : Into what? A brassiere with the word "Tasty" on it? Emily : You know, some men retire. Richard : Yes, and some men tattoo their mother's names on their biceps. Emily : I don't think the two are necessarily linked. Emily : Champagne, anyone? Lorelai : Oh, that's fancy. Emily : Well it's not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open. |
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