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 Peter Billingsley QuotationMovie Title: A Christmas Story (1983) as Ralphie: [Ralphie is seeing Santa, only he can't remember what he wanted] Santa Claus : How about a nice football? Ralphie as Adult : Football? Football? What's a football? With unconscious will my voice squeaked out 'football'. Santa Claus : Okay, get him out of here. Ralphie as Adult : A football? Oh no, what was I doing? Wake up, Stupid! Wake up! Ralphie : [Is shoved down the slide, but he stops himself and climbs back up] No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! Santa Claus : You'll shoot your eye out, kid. Narrator : Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle. Ralphie : Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski's candy store! Ralphie : Oooh fuuudge! Ralphie as Adult : Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word! Mr. Parker : What did you say? Ralphie : Uh, um... Mr. Parker : That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on! Ralphie as Adult : It was all over - I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me. Ralphie : We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice. [After cracking a secret code] Ralphie : [Reading it] Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch! Ralphie : Some men are Baptists, others Catholics, my father was an oldsmobile man. Mr. Parker : That son of a bitch would freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator! Mother : Little pitchers! Mr. Parker : Thanks... hold it! [the furnace conks out] Mr. Parker : It's a clinker! That blasted stupid furnace dadgummit! [he walks down a few stairs and falls the rest of the way down] Mr. Parker : Damn skates! (coughing) Oh for cripes sake open up the damper will ya? Who the hell turned it all the way down? AGAIN! Oh blasted! Ralphie : In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan. Ralphie : Scut Farkus! Narrator : Scut Farkus! What a rotten name! There he stood, between us and the alley. Scut Farkus staring out at us with his yellow eyes. He had yellow eyes! So, help me, God! Yellow eyes! Goggles : I like Santa. Ralphie : Yeah. Narrator : Let's face it, most of us were scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances. Movie Title: Russkies (1987) as Adam: Mischa : I see. Vodka not for boys. Danny : That's not it. It's just... Mischa : Just? Adam : Just gimme that bottle. [Takes a drink and spits it out] Mischa : [laughs] Vodka not for boys. [After a Russian naval book washes ashore] Adam : All I know is, whoever lost it's probably dead now. Jason : How do you know that? Adam : Because man, in Russia if you screw up, they don't give you a second chance to explain yourself. They just kill you. Jason : Sounds like my dad. |
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