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    Martin Starr Quotation






    Movie Title: Freaks and Geeks (1999) as Bill Haverchuck:



    Bill Haverchuck : I heard my mom say to her girlfriend, "Any guy with feathered hair is *foxy*."


    Bill Haverchuck : Fredericks, you're a turd... a stinky f-fat turd, go sniff a jock strap, you poop head. You love patting boys' butts... butt... you butt-patter! You're a perv and a loser and a stinky t-turd!


    Bill Haverchuck : Remember that time in civics when I had to fart, and it came out, well, a poop? And I had to flush my undies down the toilet? Do you think I wanted to tell you that?


    Bill Haverchuck : It's a parisian night suit, in case you didn't know.
    Gordon Crisp : A parisian! Ooh la la!
    Neal Schweiber : It's not a parisian. It's a jumpsuit. My grandfather in Florida wears them all the time because he's too lazy to put on pants!


    Neal Schweiber : My mom says women prefer guys with a good sense of humor.
    Bill Haverchuck : But, uh, you're not funny.
    Neal Schweiber : Screw you, I'm hilarious!


    Neal Schweiber : I'm just going to have my coffee now.
    Bill Haverchuck : Is that before, or after you shave?


    Neal Schweiber : So I wake up this morning, and guess what is sitting on the end of my bed?
    Bill Haverchuck : A turd?
    Neal Schweiber : Yes, Bill, a turd.
    Bill Haverchuck : Ewwwwww! Gross!
    Neal Schweiber : An Atari video set. Is my dad the coolest, or what? So shall we say Asteriods, my place, 3:30?
    Bill Haverchuck : Yeah, if that's when you wanna get your butt kicked.


    Bill Haverchuck : Do you remember when we said we'd tell each other everything?
    Neal Schweiber : Yeah.
    Bill Haverchuck : Did you mean it?
    Neal Schweiber : Of course.
    Bill Haverchuck : Even if it's something really, really horrible? I mean, it might not be horrible, 'cause it might not be true, but if it is true, it could be pretty horrible.
    Neal Schweiber : Okay, Bill, you're killin' me, you gotta tell me now.


    Bill Haverchuck : If I were Bionic Woman, what would I wear?


    Bill Haverchuck : Mouse Trap! I win!
    Neal Schweiber : Congratulations, Bill. Maybe you can get the school to start a team.


    Bill Haverchuck : Cindy cut the cheese.
    Neal Schweiber : Oh my god!
    Sam Weir : Shut up.
    Bill Haverchuck : I'm serious. She blamed it on the chair.
    Sam Weir : Well, what kind of chair was it?
    Bill Haverchuck : I don't know. Vinyl?
    Sam Weir : Vinyl chairs always squeak!
    Bill Haverchuck : It wasn't the sound of vinyl squeaking. It was the sound of cheese being cut.

       
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