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 Mo Collins QuotationMovie Title: Mad TV (1995) as Diane Sawyer / Doreen Larkin / Carol / Lorraine Swanson / DMV Worker / Trina / Catherine Zeta-Jones / Shelly / Driver: [filming the Blair Witch report] Diane Sawyer : I'm Diane Sawyer. I'm all alone now, and I'm scared. I continue to hear voices all around me. [off in the distance] Ted Koppel : I'm Ted Koppel. Lorraine Swanson : Serpentine. Connie Chung : You were great in "Chicago". Catherine Zeta-Jones : Thank you, that means a lot. Connie Chung : I know what "thank you" means. Police Officer : Year and make of the car, please. Driver : It's a 2003 Earth Destroyer. Marvin Tikvah : Shelly. Shelly : What? Marvin Tikvah : [lowering voice] Shelly. [pauses and takes a drink] Marvin Tikvah : C'MON. Doreen Larkin : Stuart's father left us on Tues-dee. Lorraine Swanson : [coughing noise] Uh-uh-uh. Lorraine Swanson : Goddddddd, that's cute. Dale : Carol Finney! Tell us something about yourself, and *not* something I've already said! Carol : Well, I like to roll nickels... I have a windmill magnet collection... my daughter's my best friend. Dale : Well I hope your husband is a close second! Carol : Well he would be if he'd help me roll nickels! Chuck : Have you ever been arrested? Trina : Well... Chuck : Well what? Trina : Well, last March my cousin accused me of stealing her baby. I just wanted to hold it, for a few days, in Mexico, rename it, cut and dye its hair, tattoo things on its pretty little toes. It was all just a huge mistake DMV Worker : Now turn and face the camera. Ms. Swan : Live from New York... DMV Worker : No! That's the wrong show. |
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