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 Peter Riegert Quotation"It nevers occurs to me that acting with a superstar is something to worry about. I figure the bigger, the better, because more will be demanded of me." Movie Title: The Runestone (1990) as Fanducci: Fanducci : What's your name, officer? Strange : It's Strange, Sir. Fanducci : I don't care how fucking strange it is. Strange : No Sir, it's officer Strange. Movie Title: Oscar (1991) as Aldo: Aldo : Breakfast is soived. Snaps : Served, you paluka! Snaps : Pop this guy! Aldo : Boss! We can't have a stiff in the house with company coming! Snaps : You're right. It ain't proper. Connie : I warned him boss. Aldo : Anthony said it was a matta of life an death boss Angelo Provolone : And will you two mugs stop callin me boss. It ain't respectable. Aldo & Connie: Sorry Boss. Aldo : Lemme me show you tha door; THERE'S THA DOOR! Movie Title: How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog (2000) as Larry: Larry : You're lucky. You got Melanie. There are men who'd die for her. Peter McGowan: Yeah, die for her, or have her kill you. Either way, you're dead. Larry : Still having trouble satiating, are we? Peter McGowan: I think the doorbell's heard my wife shout "I'm coming" more than I have these days. [Larry is dressed as a priest] Peter McGowan: Can I have a valediction, father? Larry : Say four holy Fuck You's and keep drinking. Peter McGowan: Are you drunk or something? Larry : What time is it? Peter McGowan: Four. Larry : Yep. Movie Title: Animal House (1978) as Boon: Katy : Boon, I think I'm in love with a retard. Boon : Is he bigger than me? [Watching Flounder take abuse at ROTC] Otter : He can't do that do that to our pledges. Boon : Only we can do that to our pledges. Otter : Let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabbos. Boon : Norma! Otter : No. But you're getting warmer. Here's another: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!" Boon : Marlene! You're gonna pork Marlene Desmond! Otter : Pork? Boon : You're gonna hump her brains out, aren't you? Otter : Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience. Boon : Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude. Hoover : We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the Jewish house and they said that every one of our answers on the Psych test was wrong. Boon : Every one? [looks at Bluto and D-Day] Boon : Those assholes must have stolen the wrong fucking exam! D-Day : War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one. Bluto : Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! Otter : Germans? Boon : Forget it, he's rolling. Bluto : And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... [thinks hard] Bluto : the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns] Bluto : What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer... Otter : Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. Bluto : We're just the guys to do it. D-Day : Let's do it. Bluto : LET'S DO IT! [After Delta house is closed] Doug Neidermeyer : How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein? Boon : How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer? Otter : Point of parliamentary procedure! Hoover : Don't screw around, they're serious this time! Otter : Take it easy, I'm pre-law. Boon : I thought you were pre-med. Otter : What's the difference? [Addressing the room] Otter : Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did. [winks at Dean Wormer] Otter : But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen! [Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner] Boon : I want you to fix Pinto up, but it's got to be a very special girl. Pinto : Look, you don't have to... Boon : Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude. Katy : You mean you want someone who'll screw on the first date. Boon : Well put. You see, Pinto's never been laid. Pinto : Hey! Boon : What'd I say? Boon : Where are you going? We just got here. Katy : No, Boon, you just got here. I've been downstairs for an hour entertaining some kid from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas. Boon : Umm - maybe we could drive up to your folks' place this weekend. Katy : Oh, fabulous. My car filled with your beer buddies going up to empty my parents' liquor cabinet. It's too depressing to think about. Boon : No! Just gonna be you and me. And Otter and another girl. Katy : Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life? Boon : What do you mean? Katy : I mean hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend. Boon : No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night. Boon : It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party. Katy : Honestly, Boon, you're twenty-one years old. In six months you're going to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cute, but I think I'll pass this time. Boon : Want me to go alone? Katy : Baby, I don't want you to go at all. Boon : It's a *fraternity* party, I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it? Katy : I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend. Hoover : Kent is a legacy, Otter. His brother was a '59, Fred Dorfman. Flounder : He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically. Otter : Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case. Otter , Boon : Like Fred. Jennings : Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel. Boon : How long you been workin' on it? Jennings : Four and a half years. Pinto : It must be very good. Jennings : It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot? Hoover : Will you tell those assholes to shut up? Boon : Hey! Shut up you assholes! Otter : Ah, she broke our date. Boon : Washing her hair? Otter : Dead mother. Movie Title: The Mask (1994) as Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : There can't be two idiots with pajamas like these Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Somebody STOLE your pajamas? Stanley Ipkiss : I mean, uh, what is this world coming to when a man's... *pajama drawer* is no longer safe? [Lt. Mitch Kellaway finds a picture of his wife in the Mask's pocket] Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Margaret! Why you son of a bitch! The Mask : Jeez, I figured you'd have a sense of humor; after all... YOU MARRIED HER! Movie Title: Local Hero (1983) as Mac / Mac MacIntyre / MacIntyre: Mac : I'd make a great Gordon, Gordon. Rev. Macpherson : You want to buy my church? MacIntyre : Not as a going concern. [After hitting a rabbit on the road] Oldsen : Why don't we kill it. Hit it with something hard? Mac : You've already done that with a two-ton automobile! [Approaching Ben Knox's beach shanty.] Mac MacIntyre : Where's the door here? Gordon Urquhart : There is no door. Just knock on the window. Mac MacIntyre : How do you do business with a man who has no door? Victor : The ethics are just the same. Urquhart: [acting as bartender] I want you to try this Scotch. It's 42 years old. MacIntyre : Old enough to be out on it's own. [Mac is buying shampoo.] Mrs. Wyatt : Dry, normal or greasy? Mac MacIntyre : Normal. Extra normal. Mac MacIntyre : Any comets around? Ben Knox : Do ye want to buy a comet now? Mac MacIntyre : Maybe. Movie Title: Infinity (1996) as Mel Feynman: Mel Feynman : How old are you? Richard Feynman : Six. Mel Feynman : Well then, act your age. Movie Title: Family Guy (1999) as Max Weinstein: Max Weinstein : Hello. My car broke down. Can I use your phone? Peter Griffin : [singing] Now my troubles are all through/I have a Jew. Max Weinstein : Hey! |
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