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 Roy Kinnear QuotationMovie Title: Scrooge (1970) as 2nd Portly Gentleman: [trying to collect Christmas donations] 2nd Portly Gentleman : What may we put you down for, sir? Scrooge : Nothing, sir. 1st Portly Gentleman : Ah, you wish to remain anonymous. Scrooge : I wish to be left alone, sir, that is what I wish! I don't make myself merry at Christmas and I can't afford to make idol people merry. I have been forced to support the establishments I mentioned through taxation, and God knows they cost more than they're worth. Those who are badly off must go there. 2nd Portly Gentleman : Many would rather die than go there. Scrooge : If they'd rather die, they had better do it and decrease the surplus population. Good night, gentlemen. [Walks away, then turns back] Scrooge : Humbug! Movie Title: Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (1977) as Quincey: Max : Patients, Quincey. Quincey : You tell that to the guard. He'll be here in two minutes. Max : Right on schedule. Just ten steps to six million dollars. Quincey : One step to Devil's Island, if anything touches that floor. Movie Title: Help! (1965) as Algernon: George : What's your electric bill like? Algernon : Sort of a long counterfoil! Professor Foot : Voltage, VOLTAGE!!! Up up. Up up Paul : Up, up. John : Up Ringo : Are you sure I'm earthed? Algernon : Oh no! Er, hold on, thank you. Algernon : Stop him? Me? It's more than my job's worth to stop him once he gets started. He's out to rule the world... if he can get a government grant. Movie Title: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) as Mr. Salt: Willy Wonka : Don't you know what this is? Violet Beauregarde : By gum, it's gum. Willy Wonka : Wrong. It's the most fabulous sensational gum in the whole world. Violet Beauregarde : What's so fab about it? Willy Wonka : This little piece of gum is a three course dinner. Mr. Salt : Bull. Willy Wonka : No, roast beef. But I haven't got it quite right yet. Violet Beauregarde : Well they can't be real people. Willy Wonka : Well of course they're real people. Mr. Salt : Stuff and nonsense. Willy Wonka : No, Oompa Loompas. The Group: Oompa Loompas? Willy Wonka : From Loompaland. Mrs. Teevee : Loompaland? There's no such place. Willy Wonka : Excuse me, dear lady... Mrs. Teevee : Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography. Willy Wonka : Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids." Mr. Salt : Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that? Willy Wonka : I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here. Veruca Salt : Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away. Mr. Salt : All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out. Veruca Salt : I want an Oompa Loompa now! Violet Beauregarde : Can it, you nit! [Willy Wonka walks down the hall which gets shorter as it goes on in the skewed perspective room] Charlie Bucket : Hey, the room is getting smaller! Mrs. Teevee : No, it's not; he's getting bigger. Mr. Salt : He's at it again. Mike Teevee : Where's the chocolate? Sam Beauregarde : I doubt if there is any. Mr. Salt : I doubt if any of us will get out of here alive. Willy Wonka : Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about. Mrs. Gloop : You're not squeezing me through that tiny door. [Noticing signs on vats] Mr. Salt : Wonka. Butterscotch? Buttergin? You running something on the side here? Willy Wonka : Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. [Willy Wonka and the group are still on the boat and are at the hallway outside the inventing room] Willy Wonka : We're there. Mrs. Teevee : Where? Willy Wonka : Here. A small step for mankind, but a giant step for us. All ashore! Mr. Beauregarde: Let me off this crate! Mike Teevee : Now why don't they show stuff like that on T.V.? Mrs. Teevee : I don't know. Mr. Salt : What a nightmare. Veruca Salt : Daddy, I do not want a boat like this. [Charlie Bucket and Grandpa Joe read a sign] Charlie Bucket : Dairy cream . . . Grandpa Joe : Whipped cream . . . Charlie Bucket : Coffee cream . . . Grandpa Joe : Vanilla cream . . . Charlie Bucket and Grandpa Joe: Hair cream? Willy Wonka : Meine Herrschaften, schenken Sie mir ihre aufmerksamkeit [My friends (masters), please give me your attention] Willy Wonka : . Mrs. Teevee : That's not French. Willy Wonka : Sie kommen jetzt in den interessantesten und gleichzeitig geheimsten raum meiner fabrik. [You have now come to the most interesting and, at the same time, the most secret room of my factory] Mr. Salt : I can't take much more of this. Willy Wonka : Meine Damen und Herren, der Inventing Room [Ladies and Gentlemen, The Inventing Room] Willy Wonka : . Now remember, no messing about. No touching, no tasting, no telling. Grandpa Joe : No telling what? Willy Wonka : You see, all of my most secret inventions are cooking and simmering in here. Old Slugworth would give his false teeth to get inside for just five minutes, so don't touch a thing! Veruca Salt : I wanted to be the first to find a Golden Ticket, Daddy. Mr. Salt : I know, angel. We're doing the best we can. I've got every girl in the place to start hunting for you. Veruca Salt : All right. Where is it? Why haven't they found it? Mr. Salt : Veruca, sweetheart. I'm not a magician. Give me time. Veruca Salt : I want it now. What's the matter with those twerps down there? Mr. Salt : For five days now, the entire flipping factory's been on the job. They haven't shelled a peanut in there since Monday. They've been shelling flavored chocolate bars from dawn till dusk. Veruca Salt : Make them work nights. Veruca Salt : They don't want to find it. They're jealous of me. Mr. Salt : Sweetheart, I can't push them no harder; 19,000 bars an hour they're shelling; 760,000 they've done so far. Veruca Salt : You promised, Daddy. You promised I'd have it the very first day. Mrs. Salt : You're going to be very unpopular around here, Henry, if you don't deliver soon. Mr. Salt : It breaks my heart, Henrietta. I hate to see her unhappy. Veruca Salt : You're a rotten, mean father. You never give me anything I want. And I won't go to school until I have it. Mr. Salt : Veruca, sweetheart, angel. Now, there are four tickets left in the whole world, and the whole ruddy world's hunting for them. What can I do? Mr. Salt : Quite a nice little canoe you got there, Wonka. Willy Wonka : All I ask is for a tall ship and a star to sail her by. All aboard everybody. Mr. Salt : Ladies first and that means Veruca. Grandpa Joe : If she's a lady, then I'm a Vernicious Knid. Mr. Salt : Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose? Willy Wonka : They're not for sale. Mr. Salt : Name your price. Willy Wonka : She can't have one. Veruca Salt : Who says I can't? Mr. Salt : The man with the funny hat. Willy Wonka : Now over here I have something rather special to show you. Mr. Salt : It's special alright, I only hope my Veruca doesn't want one. [Mr. Wonka puts sneakers into a vat] Mr. Salt : What's that for? Willy Wonka : Gives it a little kick. Sam Beauregarde : What business are you in, Salt? Mr. Salt : Nuts. Mr. Salt : I'm not signing anything without my lawyer. Veruca Salt : Give me that pen! [she grabs the pen from her father] Veruca Salt : You're always making things difficult. Movie Title: The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977) as Boldini: Markov : I have reason to believe it is secreted about his person. Boldini : It's not in his pockets; I have picked them. Markov : In that case, you will have to pick his person. Movie Title: The Hill (1965) as Monty Bartlett: Monty Bartlett : You've got it downstaris, mate, but we've got it upstairs. Live up trees, you blokes do. I seen a film about his tribe once. It was called 'Tarazn and the Ape Man.' When Charlie Blogs found you lot, you was walking around starkers, living on monkey nuts. Jacko King : So this is a member of the great white race. And there's plenty more like Monty. We just call them "white trash." Jock McGrath : Now look, I don't go for that expression "white trash." Jacko King : What's Staff Williams? Jock McGrath : Belt up! I don't want to hear about Williams. Jacko King : That, I can believe. |
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