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 Zooey Deschanel QuotationMovie Title: The Good Girl (2002) as Cheryl: Cheryl : Sit right down here, ma'am. We're going to make you pretty. Now how do you like your hair? Big Haired Woman : What? Are you going to do my hair? Cheryl : No, I just need to know if that's your usual way of wearing it, all big and high. If it is, I'll just put more makeup on your chin to offset it. You're going to want to take a whole bottle of this home with you. It's got quite a lot of ingredients in it, so you're getting a good deal. It's got ginkgo extract in it. Do you know what that is? Big Haired Woman : No. Cheryl : It's extract of the ginkgo, and it makes your skin real slick so that any liquid will roll right off you, be it water, or lemon juice, or urine. I'll put it in a bag for you. Cheryl : And fuck you very much. Shopper: What? Cheryl : Thank you very much. Cheryl : Attention, shoppers. There's a Retail Rodeo special on aisle 3. Liquid Drain Cleaner, 2 12-ounce cans for $5.00. Liquid Drain Cleaner has churning power and it will churn right through your pipes. Ladies, you need female plumbing. Shove something clean and new up your filthy pipes. That's Liquid Drain Cleaner on aisle 3. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Retail Rodeo. Cheryl : You didn't bring this into the store with you? Heavy Set Woman : No. Cheryl : Then I'll go ahead and charge you for it. This is a hand lotion, so don't put it on any other part of your body, even if that part needs lubrication. We try to keep frivolous lawsuits to a minimum, unless, of course, the customer is at fault. Cheryl : Happy Halloween, Retail Rodeo shoppers. There's a Retail Rodeo special on all bulk candy on aisle 4. Ghouls and goblins, witches and warlocks, wandering these aisles day after day, I put a Halloween curse on your hellish heads. Old Woman : I look too white, don't you think? Cheryl : Not at all. I'm just trying to match your face with your hair. I was thinking you're not white enough. Old Woman : I think I look kind of weird. Cheryl : The first rule of fashion is you have to look weird. What I'm doing has come straight here from France. Old Woman : Oh? Cheryl : It's called Cirque du Face, meaning "Circus of the Face", and it's all the rage with the Frenchies, ma'am. Old Woman : Well, you're the professional. Movie Title: The New Guy (2002) as Nora: Nora : He's got kind of a... Brad Pitt thing going there. Glen : I saw a little... Anne Heche there too. Does *that* sound gay? Movie Title: Elf (2003) as Jovie: [While Ice Skating, Buddy kisses her on the cheek] Jovie : You missed. Jovie : Now, tell me why you were in the girls' locker room this morning? Buddy : I heard you singing and I wanted to join in. Jovie : It didn't have anything to do with the fact that I was naked and in the shower? Buddy : I didn't know you were naked. Movie Title: Mumford (1999) as Nessa Watkins: Nessa Watkins : This shrink school you went to, did you hear about it in an infomercial? Movie Title: Big Trouble (2002) as Jenny Herk: [Snake and Eddie are riding in the hi-jacked police car; and Eddie is coming up to the two main Airport signs] Eddie : Okay, we gotta pick a road. Arrivals or departures? We're arriving, but then we're departing. Which one, Snake? Snake : What do you think? Jenny Herk : I think you guys should turn yourselves in and plead not guilty by reason of stupidity. Snake : [looks at the signs] Departures. Snake : [remarking on his gun] Remember. I'm gonna have this thing pointed right at you. So, don't do something stupid. Jenny Herk : How would you even know if I did something stupid. Snake : I'll just know. Believe me, I can tell the difference. Eliot Arnold : Strip poker. Strip poker. Now, that's a good game. [Grabs a squirt gun away from Matt] Eliot Arnold : This is a stupid game. Matt Arnold : Dad, no offense, but only a moron would mistake that for a real gun. Eliot Arnold : You could've been killed. And where's your partner in crime? Matt Arnold : Andrew? Jenny Herk : He ran the other way. Eliot Arnold : Did anybody call the police? Jenny Herk : You, don't look at my ass when I walk away. Andrew : I can't make that promise. [scoffs and leaves] Andrew : Whoa. "You can squirt me tonight down at Bayside." You're gonna remember that line when you're an old dude, dude. Matt Arnold : Are you looking at her ass? Andrew : Yeah. Movie Title: Almost Famous (2000) as Anita Miller: Anita Miller : FECK YOU! Elaine Miller : HEY! Anita Miller : This is a house of lies! Elaine Miller : Well there it is, your sister used the "F" word. William Miller : I think she said "feck." Elaine Miller : What's the difference? William Miller : The letter "u." Anita Miller : This song explains why I'm leaving home to become a stewardess. Anita Miller : [last words to little brother William before leaving home] Someday, you'll be cool. Anita Miller : Listen to Tommy with a candle burning, and you'll see your future. Elaine Miller : [to William] Your Dad was so proud of you. He knew you were a predominantly accelerated child. Anita Miller : What about me? Elaine Miller : You are rebellious and ungrateful of my love. |
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