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 Joshua Malina QuotationMovie Title: Bulworth (1998) as Bill Feldman: [Feldman and Murphy are concerned about Bulworth's rapping] Bill Feldman : You know something? We had a next-door neighbor who would lose her mind from time to time. What was weird when she got like that was this: she could only speak in song lyrics. Bullworth : Murphy, Feldman, you're lookin' pretty beat / I thought you might feel better with some ribs to eat / Eat 'em, gentlemen, you'll think they're really fine / And if you want a couple more you can get 'em anytime! Dennis Murphy : I am incredibly frightened. Movie Title: In the Line of Fire (1993) as Agent Chavez: Frank Horrigan : The number of that San Diego office? Agent Chavez : Uh, 619-UKELELE. Frank Horrigan : Ukulele? Agent Chavez : That's how I remember it, you know, 7 numbers, 7 letters? You just push U-K-E-L-E-L-E. Easy. Frank Horrigan : Uh, wait a minute, isn't "ukulele" spelled U-K-U-? Agent Chavez : I dunno... but the phone number's U-K-E-L-E-L-E. Movie Title: View from the Top (2003) as Randy: Donna Jensen : I just worry if I really fall in love with Ted, what's going to happen to everything I've worked so hard for? Randy : OK, fine, don't fall in love with him. Donna Jensen : That's kinda where I'm having the problem. Randy : It just takes willpower, is all. I mean, you didn't fall in love with me, did you? Donna Jensen : You're gay. Randy : But, it still took willpower, didn't it? Movie Title: The American President (1995) as David: David : We should do some prep work. You wanna order in? Sydney Ellen Wade : Uh, I can't. I'm having dinner at the White House. So let's start early tomorrow morning, say 7:30? David : Okay. I'm having lunch at the Kremlin, so we'll have to, you know, start even earlier than that. Sydney Ellen Wade : Good night, David. David : In order for me to catch the morning plane to Moscow. Sydney Ellen Wade : Good night, David! Sydney Ellen Wade : I can't work tonight, I'm having dinner at the White House. We can start early tomorrow. David : Okay. I'm having lunch at the Kremlin, so we'll have to, you know, start even earlier than that. Sydney Ellen Wade : Good night, David. David : In order for me to catch the morning plane to Moscow! Sydney Ellen Wade : Good Night, David! Movie Title: Sports Night (1998) as Jeremy Goodwin: Casey McCall : Do you know what a bomb looks like? Jeremy Goodwin : Actually, I don't. Casey McCall : Does anyone? Chris? Chris : No. Casey McCall : Will? Will : No. Casey McCall : Dave? Dave : No. Casey McCall : But we're bettin' a *German Shepherd* can pick one out. Jeremy Goodwin : Natalie, listen to me. You've lost a lot of money to me tonight. You're basically gonna be living the rest of your life on a charitable donation from the Jeremy Goodwin Foundation. Take the hundred bucks back and fold. Natalie Hurley : Scared? Jeremy Goodwin : I've got a straight, you've got three sevens. Natalie Hurley : You don't have a straight. Jeremy Goodwin : Look at me. I'm not lying to you. I have a straight. Natalie Hurley : How do you know I don't have a big house. Jeremy Goodwin : A FULL house. Dan already folded the six you needed, and I have the other one. You don't have a house of any sort, you don't even have a pup tent. You've got trip sevens, and I have a straight. I want you to trust me right now. I want you to say to yourself, yeah, I've dated a string of jerks in my life, they were stupid, they were mean to me, but maybe this one's different. Maybe I should take a chance and not adopt the break-up-with-him-before-he-breaks-my-heart strategy. I want you to remember that when I started liking you, I didn't stop liking tennis. And I want you to know that I don' t think there's a woman in the world that you need to be threatened by, no matter how glamorous you think she is. But mostly, I want you to trust me, just once, when I tell you, you have three sevens, and I have a straight. Isaac : Let me add, Dana, that things I say in my office stay in my office. Dana Whitaker : Natalie's my, my second in command. She's the only one I told. Natalie : Jeremy's my boyfriend. He's the only one I told. Jeremy Goodwin : I told many, many people. Jeremy Goodwin : I understand what makes a woman think that any man is better than nothing. I'll just never understand what makes a woman think she's got nothing. Jeremy Goodwin : Fire me. Isaac : What? Jeremy Goodwin : You heard me, I want you to fire me. Isaac : I'm not going to fire you. Jeremy Goodwin : I'm a terrible worker, I'm the last to arrive and the first to leave. Isaac : You're the first to arrive and the last to leave. Jeremy Goodwin : And don't you think that's a little strange? Isaac : Yes. Jeremy Goodwin : I'm a racist. Isaac : Jeremy... Jeremy Goodwin : I am, I'm a terrible racist. I think all those people with the funny accents and weird skin color should go back to wherever they came from and leave this country to the people who rightfully stole it from the Indians... which they deserved. Isaac : Jeremy... Jeremy Goodwin : I'm serious, this country is being ruined by the blacks and the Jews. Isaac : You're Jewish. Jeremy Goodwin : And I have to be stopped. [During the Y2K test] Dana Whitaker : Jeremy? Jeremy. Jeremy Goodwin : It's gonna be okay. Dana Whitaker : Is ALL the power out? Jeremy Goodwin : What do you mean? Dana Whitaker : Is all the POWER out? Jeremy Goodwin : No, of course not. Dana Whitaker : What'd we lose? Jeremy Goodwin : We lost the control room. Dana Whitaker : Yes. Jeremy Goodwin : And the studio. Dana Whitaker : Okay. Jeremy Goodwin : The newsroom and the offices, editing, graphics, engineering, sound. Dana Whitaker : Is anything working? Jeremy Goodwin : No. Dana Whitaker : I thought you said we didn't lose all power. Jeremy Goodwin : I thought you meant in the whole city. [Re: Mount Everest] Jeremy Goodwin : It's 29,000 feet. Elliot : Actually, it's 29,029 feet. Dana Whitaker : But it's that last ten yards that'll kill ya. Jeremy Goodwin : How can I best describe this? How many of what kind of thing would we have to lay end to end? Elliot : Twenty-nine thousand rulers. Jeremy Goodwin : Is getting "The Call" you know, good? Dana Whitaker : Better than a poke in the eye? Jeremy Goodwin : Really? Dana Whitaker : Yes. Jeremy Goodwin : How much better? Dana Whitaker : Name three things the Knicks need to do to contend. Jeremy Goodwin : Run the floor... Improve their free-throw percentage... Natalie : That's two. Jeremy Goodwin : Tell Spike Lee to sit down and shut up? Dana Whitaker : Perfect. Welcome to Sports Night. Jeremy Goodwin : Not fitting in is how qualified people lose jobs. Isaac : Yes, but a lot of the time, it's how they end up working here. Jeremy Goodwin : Halfway around the world, a great athlete has just accomplished an amazing feat. Casey McCall : What? Jeremy Goodwin : I don't know. Natalie : Men always think they can cover up their, you know, with this other thing. But women always know. Jeremy Goodwin : No they don't. And do you know why? Because women don't have special powers. Let's dispense with that theory right now. They don't have intuition, they don't have a sixth sense. [an interviewee is bad-mouthing New York] Jeremy Goodwin : Throw him a rope Casey. Dana Whitaker : No, don't throw him a rope. Casey McCall : Still, you gotta be psyched about playing at the stadium, right? Dana Whitaker : He threw him a rope. Shane McArnold : Not really. Jeremy Goodwin : And he's tying it around his neck. Jeremy Goodwin : A writer once wrote, "As if it matters how a man falls down. When the fall is all that's left it matters very much." What did he mean by that? Don't abandon shutouts. Jeremy Goodwin : It cannot, it MUST not rain at Indian Wells. Dana Whitaker : By the way, in the memos that are circulating we're spelling Chattanooga about fourteen different ways. Now, what do we know? Jeremy Goodwin : Two O's, three A's. Dana Whitaker : That's it? Jeremy Goodwin : No, there are other letters too. But surely that's not what you meant. Dan Rydell : I'm not distracted. Dave : In three, two... Dan Rydell : The Sophomore sensation accredits her agility and quick first step to her father who used to take her to a neighborhood park all covered in cheese. We'll be bringing you part two of the story tomorrow night... [back in the Control Room] Jeremy Goodwin : Did he just say cheese? Elliot : He did just say cheese. Dana Whitaker : What was it supposed to be? Jeremy Goodwin : What was it supposed to be? Natalie Hurley : Let me find it. Jeremy Goodwin : A park all covered with cheese? Dana Whitaker : I had three people talking in my ear. Natalie Hurley : I can't find it, what block? Kim : We just did it. Kim : The 50's Will : 55 Jeremy Goodwin : How about a park all covered with trees? Natalie Hurley : He said cheese? Jeremy Goodwin : Welcome to the show. Natalie Hurley : Hello. Jeremy Goodwin : AHHH. Natalie Hurley : Why'd you scream? Jeremy Goodwin : I meant to say hi. Natalie Hurley : You meant to say hi? Jeremy Goodwin : I misspoke. Natalie Hurley : *I* broke up with *you* Mr. "Obviously has a short-term memory loss with a myriad of other problems which I won't even go into but thinks he broke up with me because of the short-term memory loss which is so obvious". Jeremy Goodwin : No need to be formal. I've seen you naked. Call me Jeremy. Jeremy Goodwin : How could it be raining at Indian Wells? Isaac : Maybe it's the rainy season. Jeremy Goodwin : [patiently] Indian Wells is a desert, Isaac. If deserts had a rainy season they'd be called something else. Isaac : Fair point. Movie Title: The West Wing (1999) as Will Bailey / Will: Charlie Young : You know, I've seen worse. Will : Really? Charlie Young : No. Will : Is that the oval office right there? Toby Ziegler : Yes. Will : I'm averting my eyes. Will Bailey : You and Leo McGarry and Josh are his senior counselors. And it's not like he doesn't already want to go there. Toby Ziegler : This language proposes a new doctrine for the use of force. That we use force whenever we see an injustice we want to correct. Like Mother Teresa with first strike capabilities. Josh Lyman : Good cop, bad cop. I'm the good cop. The four of you are the bad cops. Will, what are you? Will : Bad cop. Josh Lyman : Danny, what are you? Danny Concannon : Bad cop. Josh Lyman : Toby, what are you? Toby Ziegler : Hurry up. Josh Lyman : Charlie, what are you? Charlie Young : I love Zoe and I must have her back. Josh Lyman : The bad cop, that's right. Will : [to Charlie] That's great news about Zoe, I didn't meet her but I bet she's nice. Charlie Young : Not really, but my love for her knows no bounds. Danny Concannon : Charlie, aren't you cold without a coat? Charlie Young : I took of my coat to show my love for Zoe. Danny Concannon : Wow. Charlie Young : I'd take off my shirt too, but it's inappropriate with a tuxedo. Danny Concannon : Not if we were at Chippendales. President Josiah Bartlet : Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Do you know why? Will Bailey : Because it's the only thing that ever has. |
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