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 Gary Burghoff QuotationMovie Title: M*A*S*H (1972) as Radar: Charles : Get me Tokyo. Radar : What, on the radio? Charles : No, open the door and yell. [Reading a letter that Hawkeye threatens to send to Frank Burns' wife] Radar : Dear Mrs. Burns, I regret to inform that your husband has been seen out of uniform, and maybe you would like to know with who. Radar : Your permission, sir, to cover up my nakedidity? Radar : Can you get drunk on Grape Nehi? Hawkeye : I don't know, let's find out. Radar : A lot of guys look up to you. They want to be like you. And when you walk out on a patient it's like you don't care. Hawkeye : Don't put all that on my shoulders. Every day I stand in the blood of children and pull them out of a meat grinder and try to save them if I can, and if I can't do that to your satisfaction then to hell with you. To hell with your Iowa naiveté, to hell with your teddy bear, and to hell with you. Colonel Flagg : Have you ever heard of the Malaysian Chest Implosion Torture? Radar : [intimidated] No. Colonel Flagg : That's because it hasn't been invented... yet. Radar : I have a message: Lt. Col. Henry Blake's plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in. There were no survivors. Henry Blake : Do we have enough sherry and ginger-ale for the General?" Radar : Oh, nobody does sir. Henry Blake : Oh, fine then, if nobody does we don't have too but make sure we do just in case we don't. Charles : What is that odor? Radar : Uh, north wind, cesspool, east wind, latrine. Charles : The wind is from the south. Radar : Oh, that's the kitchen. Radar : [Takes a drink of Hawkeye's home-made gin, and grimaces] I thought this stuff was supposed to make you feel good. B.J. : No; it's supposed to make you feel nothing. Henry Blake : Will you stop saying what I'm thinking? Radar : Well someone has to. Radar : My own father didn't have me until he was 63, and the first time we played peek-a-boo together he had a stroke. [Discussing Trapper's opponent in a boxing tournament] Radar : A guy told me that he was crossing the road, and this jeep came too close to him. He punched it. Trapper : He punched a jeep? Radar : He knocked it out. Trapper : Hawkeye, this guy knocks out jeeps. Hawkeye : Showboat. Radar : Sir, there's someone waiting to see you. Henry Blake : I was born with someone waiting to see me. Radar : Sir, I was just crossing the compound when... Frank Burns : I have no interest in the compound. Corporal Klinger : He has no compound-interest. Radar : Colonel, do you know what I found in the morning's mail? Henry Blake : Now, that's a toughie. Hum a few bars, won't you, Radar? Movie Title: MASH (1970) as Radar: [Hawkeye and Duke drive away, having received their traveling orders] Colonel Blake : Did Hawkeye steal that jeep? Radar : No sir, that's the one he came in. |
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