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 Paul Dooley QuotationMovie Title: Breaking Away (1979) as Dad: Dad : God-damned see-thru coffee! Mom : He was very sickly until he started riding around on that bicycle. Dad : Yeah... well... now his body's fine, but his mind is gone. Dad : He's never tired. He's never miserable. Mom : He's young. Dad : When I was young I was tired and miserable. Dave : Buon giorno, papa! Dad : I'm not "papa." I'm your god-damned father. Mom : What's the matter? Dad : He's shavin'. Mom : Well... so what? Dad : ...his legs. Dad : What are we gonna do about him? Mom : I don't know dear. We could always strangle him while he's asleep. Dad : What is this? Mom : It's sauteed zucchini. Dad : It's I-tey food. I don't want no I-tey food. Mom : It's not. I got it at the A&P. It's like... squash. Dad : I know I-tey food when I hear it! It's all them "eenie" foods... zucchini... and linguini... and fettuccine. I want some American food, dammit! I want French fries! Dad : I don't care if the second coming's coming! Dad : No, I don't feel lucky to be alive! I feel lucky I'm not dead. There's a difference. Dad : I didn't want you to be this miserable. A little bit's all I asked for. Dad : I was proud of my work. And the buildings went up. When they were finished the damnedest thing happened. It was like the buildings were too good for us. Nobody told us that. It just felt uncomfortable, that's all. Dad : You guys still go swimmin' in the quarries? Dave : Sure. Dad : So, the only thing you got to show for my 20 years of work is the holes we left behind? Dad : If you eat so much, Moocher, how come you're so damned small? Moocher : Oh... It's my metabolism. I eat 3 times a day and my metabolism eats 5 times a day. Dave : You mean we might be a father? Dad : No. I might be a father. And your mom might be a mother. And YOU might be a brother. See, that way I keep it all in the family. Moocher : Wow! Hey, I didn't think people your age - Dad : The next word may be your last, kid! Dad : I had a dream last night that everyone I ever sold a car to came back and there you were, handing them back their money! Dad : Refund? Refund?! Movie Title: Popeye (1980) as Wimpy: Olive Oyl : You won a hundred and fifty samoleans? Wimpy : You know how many hamburgers that is? Popeye : Where ain't they? Wimpy : They ain't on the commodore's boat. Popeye : That's where they ain't? Well if that's where they ain't, I'll prove to you that that's where they ain't. Movie Title: The Adventures of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew (1983) as Claude Elsinore: Claude Elsinore : And I'd like to point out that these tapes have not been faked, or altered in any way. In fact they have time coding, which is very hard to fake. The Judge : Would you please explain for the court "time coding." Claude Elsinore : Well, uh, just because I don't know what it is, it doesn't mean I'm lying. Movie Title: Lip Service (1988) as Gilbert 'Gil' Hutchinson: Lennard 'Len' Burdette : I wouldn't mind it at all. Gilbert 'Gil' Hutchinson : Mind what? Lennard 'Len' Burdette : Fame, you know, the fame thing. Gilbert 'Gil' Hutchinson : For what? What would you be famous for? Lennard 'Len' Burdette : For being me. I mean, what do you mean? I don't know what you mean. Gilbert 'Gil' Hutchinson : My job is to watch, to watch things go by. That's what I'm paid for, to watch and to comment. Gilbert 'Gil' Hutchinson : I don't want you to be my friend, I don't want you to know anything about me. You press yourself, you respect no boundaries, you promote shallowness as a virtue, and I don't like you! Gilbert 'Gil' Hutchinson : You know it's strange, you look like a human being, I mean you speak clearly enough, yet I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say. Movie Title: Shakes the Clown (1992) as Owen Cheese: Owen Cheese : You clowns are on dope! Movie Title: Waiting for Guffman (1996) as UFO Abductee: UFO Abductee : They took me off into a separate room; I seen 'em takin' different people off; different ones of us off in separate rooms and put me on a big white table and uh the guy that took me in there - to examine me I guess - he probed me and then I was in there I bet more than three or four hours, in that room, being probed and at one time or another these different ones of 'em came in, four or five or six of 'em at different times, and all of 'em probed me, uh, not all at once, you know, individually. Later on, years later, now, even still, uh, it's a funny thing - it happened on a Sunday and every Sunday about the time I was taken on board that ship I - find I have no feelings in my buttocks. Movie Title: Slap Shot (1977) as Hyannisport broadcaster: Hyannisport broadcaster : The fans are standing up to them. The security guards are standing up to them. The peanut vendors are standing up to them. And by golly, if I could be down there, I'd be standing up to them." Hyannisport broadcaster : Look at that. You can't see that, I'm on radio. Movie Title: My Boyfriend's Back (1993) as Big Chuck: Dr. Bronson : I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your boy is very sick. He's lost a massive amount of blood, and his pulse and retinal response are poor, and as you can see there's an axe sticking out of his head. Big Chuck : He's not sick, you idiot, he's dead! Dr. Bronson : Oh, everybody's a doctor. You think maybe I could make the diagnosis? Big Chuck : Is there anyone in my family you DON'T plan to eat? Big Chuck : GOOD girls don't hang around with dead boys! Movie Title: Sixteen Candles (1984) as Jim Baker: Mike Baker : She's got her period. Should be an interesting honeymoon. Jim Baker : Where are you learning this stuff? Mike Baker : School. Jim Baker : Good, get my money's worth. Jim Baker : That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else. Jim Baker : Why do you think you're a dork? I don't think you're a dork. I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork. Samantha : Mike thinks I'm a dork. Jim Baker : Mike is a dork. Jim Baker : [to Samantha] I don't think I can sleep tonight if I don't think our little talk did some good. So... be a sport and lie to me, okay? Movie Title: Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) as Cheryl's Dad: [Larry accidentally eats decorative manger scene cookies] Becky: You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary. Larry : I thought they were animal cookies. Cheryl's Dad : Animal Cookies? What, are you kidding me? Becky: Jesus Christ is not an animal. Larry : I thought he was a monkey. Cheryl's Dad : A monkey? Oh, please. Cheryl's Mom: Larry, have you no shame? Becky: The Son of God is not a monkey, Larry. [Larry and Cheryl - and their parents - are talking to the rabbi about renewing their vows] Rabbi : Right, so then uh, I'll, uh... do the blessing, uh, the last blessing, just a little bit of Hebrew, and then I will put the glass on the floor, and we'll step on it, and that'll be it. Cheryl's Dad : That's when everybody yells "a matzoh toff"? Rabbi : No no, it's "mazeltov". It means good luck. Cheryl's Dad : Could we say "yippee!" or something? Cheryl's Mom: Or "good luck" or something? Cheryl's Dad : "Hallelujah" would be good. Movie Title: () as Miller: The King : She embroiders tapestries that resemble gold? Miller : Well in a way, sir, they are gold. The King : In what way are they gold? Miller : In a sort of a gold way they are gold. Miller : I do know of one beauty. If you can believe her boasting father. The King : Oh really? Who? Miller : My daughter. The King : Your daughter? Miller : Yes my lord. Miller : Daughter! Where is my beautiful daughter? The miller's daughter : Yes father? Miller : Wash your face and put on a dress. You're going to meet the king. The miller's daughter : Oh father, you've been drinking in town. Miller : Who needs a chicken for a friend? Movie Title: Runaway Bride (1999) as Walter Carpenter: Mrs. Pressmann : I'm thinking of changing back to my maiden name. Walter Carpenter : You still remember it ? |
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