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 Jamie Farr Quotation"The benefits from stardom as Klinger outweigh any setbacks. It's a double-edged sword. What makes you famous is what interferes with getting other roles. But there are things that never would have happened without M*A*S*H. There certainly would be no Jamie Farr Kroger Golf Classic." Movie Title: M*A*S*H: Goodbye, Farewell and Amen (1983) as Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger : Good luck Major. If I'm ever in Bean Town I'll look you up. Maj. Winchester : Yes, um, unfortunatly I'll be out of town then. Movie Title: The Cannonball Run (1981) as The Sheik: The Sheik : My driving is rivaled only by the lightning bolts from the heavens! Sheik's Sister : So you still intend to enter the race with the infidel Americans? The Sheik : My dear sister, the Cannonball shall fall to the forces of Islam! I swear it! Movie Title: M*A*S*H (1972) as Corporal Klinger: [about his uncle] Corporal Klinger : He'd kill for me. He'd kill for you. For $100, he'd kill for anyone. Corporal Klinger : Colonel Potter, sir; Corporal Klinger. I'm section eight, Head to toe. I'm wearing a Warner bra. I like to play with dolls. My last wish is to be buried in my mother's wedding gown. I'm nuts. I should be out. Col. Potter : Horse-hockey. Radar : Sir, I was just crossing the compound when... Frank Burns : I have no interest in the compound. Corporal Klinger : He has no compound-interest. Charles : That rapier-like wit. I've seen snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Krispies. Corporal Klinger : Oh, first I'm a plant; now, I'm breakfast food. What next? Charles : Well, you're crude and unrefined... how about petroleum? Frank Burns : Klinger, how dare you wear that hat while in uniform. Corporal Klinger : It's spring, sir. [Klinger reads Henry a letter from his mom that says his dad's dying] Henry Blake : Your father's dying, right? Corporal Klinger : Yes, sir. Henry Blake : [takes out a stack of papers and reads them] Father dying last year. Mother dying last year. Mother AND father dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Here's an oldie but a goodie: Half the family dying, the other half pregnant. [after Klinger tries once again to get out of the Army] Henry Blake : Klinger, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Corporal Klinger : Yes, sir. I don't deserve to be in the Army. Father Mulcahy : [singing] A chaplain in the Army has a collar on his neck. If you don't listen to him, you'll all wind up in heck. Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee man, I wanna go home. BJ & Hawkeye: Surgeons in the Army. They say we're mighty bright. We work on soldiers through the day and nurses through the night. Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee man, I wanna go home. Corporal Klinger : Some guys like the Army. I think that it's a mess. If it's so damn terrific. How come I wear a dress? Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee man, I wanna go. But they won't let me go. Gee man, I wanna go home. Movie Title: Cannonball Run II (1984) as Shiek: King : How come you have a blond, blue-eyed slave? Shiek : He's an actor. Hasn't had a series in seven years. The Slapper : Nine. King : I order you back to America to win the Cannonball Run. I give you one last chance because you are my only son with a driver's license. Shiek : But, Pop, there is no Cannonball Run this year. King : So, buy one. Shiek : Here is to good luck. May it all be mine. Slim : Okay, you'll tell us. Blake : We're gonna race to Connecticut and the one that wins gets a million dollars in cash. Tony : Only a moron would back up a race like that! Shiek : [the Shiek enters] Ah, Fenderbaum and Blake. Good to see you! You should be sleeping at this hour. Remember, we leave at noon tomorrow. Shiek : [Fenderbaum directs the Shiek's attention to the Cannelonis] Wingtips? Barbarians! Come, come! Shiek : [the Shiek hands Caesar a handful of money] Buy yourself a decent clothing store. Infidels! Blake : [the Shiek leaves] That was the moron. Caesar : You know, these liars could be telling the truth. |
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