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 Jeff Garlin QuotationMovie Title: Run Ronnie Run! (2002) as Birthday Woman's Friend: Birthday Woman : Oh, Ronnie Dobbs. You are brilliant. You HAVE to do me a favor. Robbie Dobbs: At your service. Birthday Woman : Tell me to fuck off. Ronnie Dobbs: Huh? Birthday Woman's Friend : Come on, it's her birthday. Robbie Dobbs: Alright. Fuck you, bitch. Movie Title: Daddy Day Care (2003) as Phil: Phil : [In the carrot suit] No one like broccoli! Charlie Hinton : [In the broccoli suit] Ben like broccoli, don't you Ben? Ben : Nope! Charlie Hinton : Now look what you did, you turned my own sprout against me! Charlie Hinton : Today we need some orginazation and planned activities. Phil : No. We need Ritalin and leashes. Movie Title: Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) as Cyclops: Basil : Did we get Dr. Evil? Radar Operator : No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge... Teacher : Penis. The male reproductive organ. Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or... Friendly Dad : Wiener? Any of your kids want another wiener? Friendly Son : Dad, what's that? Friendly Dad : I don't know, son, but it has great big... Peanut Vendor : Nuts. Hot, salty nuts. Who wants some?... Peanut Vendor : Lord Almighty! Woman : That looks just like my husband's... Circus Barker : ONE-EYED MONSTER. Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster! Cyclops : RARRR. Cyclops : Hey, what's that? It looks like a... Fan : Woody. Woody Harrelson. Could I have your autograph? Woody : Sure. Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing! Fan : It's so huge. Woody : No, I've seen bigger. That's... Dr. Evil : Just a little prick. Movie Title: Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) as Jeff Greene: Jeff Greene : [referring to Larry] He's a victim of circumstance. Larry David : I pee sitting down. Jeff Greene : You pee sitting down? Larry David : Yeah! Have you ever tried it? Jeff Greene : No! Larry David : It's more comfortable. When you get up during the night you don't have to turn on the light and wake up, and you get to read. Jeff Greene : What are you reading? Larry David : I'm reading a lot of stuff. Jeff Greene : What stuff? Larry David : If I peed twenty times during a day I can get through a whole New York Times for god's sake! Jeff Greene : Twenty times? Larry David : Yeah! Hey buddy, when you're peeing all over your shoe, I'm learnin' somethin'! Jeff Greene : What makes you think I'm peeing all over my shoe while you're learnin' somethin'? Larry : He insulted me. He implied that I was lying about my stepfather! Jeff Greene : You don't have a stepfather. Larry : I know, but I didn't like the implication! |
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