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 Paul Guilfoyle QuotationMovie Title: Secret Agent Man (2000) as Brubeck: Brubeck : Tell the President the market will be up today. Movie Title: Three Men and a Baby (1987) as Vince: Michael Kellam : There's been shit all over the place! Vince : You mean the package burst? Michael Kellam : [Thinking they meant the baby] Well yes, I guess you could say that. Vince : Well did you put the shit back? Michael Kellam : No, we had it bronzed for posterity. What do you think we did with it? Movie Title: Session 9 (2001) as Bill Griggs: Bill Griggs : They'd soak the nut-jobs in ice water, or they'd give 'em a lobotomy. Movie Title: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (2000) as Captain Jim Brass: Captain Jim Brass : Everyone should witness an autopsy on their first night. Captain Jim Brass : You're under arrest for obstructing justice, tampering with state's evidence, and violating seven articles of being scumbag. [Cath's ex cheated on her] Catherine Willows : I can tell you first hand, when you don't cheat, you don't suspect. Captain Jim Brass : Oh, man, I wish I had been married to you. Catherine Willows : Not a chance. Gil Grissom : A girl... in a culvert pipe... at a highway construction site... in the middle of an alfalfa field... [turns to Brass] Gil Grissom : You got anything to add? Captain Jim Brass : Nothing as poetic. [at Lady Heather's front door] Gil Grissom : May we come in? Lady Heather : Say the magic word. Captain Jim Brass : Warrant. Captain Jim Brass : Can you get a set of prints off those balloons? Warrick Brown : I can get a print off of air. Gil Grissom : Excuse me. Can you please turn down the house lights and turn on the stage lights? [stage light comes onto Grissom] Gil Grissom : I want to see what he saw before he died. Catherine Willows : What do you see? Gil Grissom : Nothing. Catherine Willows : What are you looking for? [beat] Gil Grissom : A punchline? Captain Jim Brass : ba-dum-bum [to a recalcitrant suspect] Captain Jim Brass : Newsflash. You can't make a deal if you keep your mouth shut. Captain Jim Brass : We ID'd the body and located the husband... Gil Grissom : Let me guess - downtown, Freemount district? Captain Jim Brass : You know, I'm not even gonna ask. [approaching a club] Guard at Door: Twenty-five dollars. Each. Captain Jim Brass : [pointing to his badge] I got a coupon. [A rat has just climbed out of a murder victim's mouth] Captain Jim Brass : Whoa. Gil Grissom : I think she just ratted herself out. [Later, before the victim's autopsy:] Dr. Al Robbins : Heard about the rat. Hope it didn't have any children. Captain Jim Brass : What are you doing after work? Gil Grissom : More work. Captain Jim Brass : Hey, look what I found: a knife with blood on it. Gil Grissom : Hey, look what I found: dead guy. Captain Jim Brass : [checking the beaten Vic's driver's license] Tony Sciarra from Philadelphia. Grissom : So much for brotherly love. Captain Jim Brass : Our friend Tony just checked into the hotel. Didn't even unpack his bags. Grissom : He made enemies fast. Captain Jim Brass : [to a suspect] Nice stare. Too bad it doesn't work on me. Keep it though - they'll love it in prison. [talking to a suspect about a broken mirror at the crime scene] Sara Sidle : You know that's seven years bad luck. Captain Jim Brass : More like seven to ten. Captain Jim Brass : What can't you put your finger on, apart from the cut off switch? Captain Jim Brass : Let me put it this way - I'd want them investigating my murder. Captain Jim Brass : What kind of training do you get? Joey, Ride Operator : I release the brake. I hit the button. It's green. It's marked "Go". [a suspect is at a convention for people who dress as animals] Captain Jim Brass : What do we do... put out an A.P.B. on Tom and Jerry? Movie Title: Striptease (1996) as Malcolm Moldowsky / Malcolm Moldovsky: Malcolm Moldovsky : I am the Congressman's right hand! Erin Grant : You must be a very busy man! Darrell Grant : You got my daughter, and now you try and kill me with a ax. Malcolm Moldowsky : I don't have your daughter, you're confused! And it's "*an* ax." Movie Title: Live From Baghdad (2002) as Ed Turner: Ed Turner : No story is worth your life... but this is the story of a lifetime. |
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