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    Dick Van Patten Quotation


    (On the 1981 cancellation of Eight Is Enough): "Nobody called me to tell me it was canceled. I read it in the paper."



    Movie Title: High Anxiety (1978) as Dr. Wentworth:



    Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke : As I was saying, it came to my attention that just before Dr. Ashley's untimely death, he was planning to make some very big changes here at the institute. Do any of you know specifically what those changes might be?
    Dr. Wentworth : Well, for one thing, he wanted to change...
    Nurse Diesel : The drapes.
    Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke : The drapes?
    Nurse Diesel : The drapes. He wanted to change the drapes in the Psychotic Game Room.
    Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke : That was the extent of the big change, the... drapes?
    Nurse Diesel : Oh, yes. Dr. Ashley felt that color has a great deal to do with the well-being of the emotionally disturbed.

    Movie Title: Spaceballs (1987) as King Roland / Roland:


    [King Roland has given in to Dark Helmet's threats, and is telling him the combination to the "air shield"]
    Roland : One.
    Dark Helmet : One.
    Colonel Sandurz : One.
    Roland : Two.
    Dark Helmet : Two.
    Colonel Sandurz : Two.
    Roland : Three.
    Dark Helmet : Three.
    Colonel Sandurz : Three.
    Roland : Four.
    Dark Helmet : Four.
    Colonel Sandurz : Four.
    Roland : Five.
    Dark Helmet : Five.
    Colonel Sandurz : Five.
    Dark Helmet : So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!


    Princess Vespa : Ha, didn't even stay for the wedding. Just took his million spacebuck and ran.
    King Roland : He didn't take the million...


    Princess Vespa : I can see it all now. [turns to King Roland]
    Princess Vespa : Can't you see he loves me?
    Minister : Excuse me! I'm trying to conduct a wedding here which has nothing to do with love, so please be quiet!
    King Roland : I'm sorry
    Princess Vespa : I'm sorry Prince Valium: I'm sorry
    Minister : Don't be sorry, be quiet! Prince Valium, Princess Vespa, King Roland: I'M SORRY!





    Movie Title: Robin Hood:
    Men in Tights (1993) as Abbot:


    Man in church : Hey Abbot!
    Abbot : I hate that guy!


    Abbot : We are here to witness the marriage, of Mervin, the Sherriff of... Mervin? Your name is Mervin? Sheriff of Rottingham: Yes! Yes get on with it.
    Abbot : OK... Mervin.

       
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