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 G.W. Bailey Quotation(On being remembered as Captain Harris) "So much for ten years of education, years of training in Shakespeare... being remembered for a dog peeing in your eye!" Movie Title: Rustlers' Rhapsody (1985) as Peter: Rex O'Herlihan : This is 1884. You've gotta date and date and date and date and sometimes marry 'em even before... you know... Peter : Now, wait a minute. Are you tellin' me you've never...? Rex O'Herlihan : Never. Peter : My God, Rex. You ARE a good guy. Peter : For some reason, the bad guy was always a Colonel who had a beautiful daughter and about a thousand head of cattle which you would hear but never see. [As Peter bites into a hallucinogenic root] Peter : What is this? Rex O'Herlihan : Just a root. Peter : Hm. Well, from now on, I'm the town root junkie. Movie Title: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994) as Captain Thaddeus Harris: Captain Thaddeus Harris : Not exactly a four star hotel, is it? Lieutenant Talinsky : Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals, not on pampering out of town visitors. Captain Thaddeus Harris : It was your government that brought us here! Lieutenant Talinsky : They also bring in monkeys for zoo, but we don't put them in four star hotel either! Movie Title: M*A*S*H: Goodbye, Farewell and Amen (1983) as Sergeant Luther Rizzo: Sergeant Luther Rizzo : I hope you don't mind leaving in a garbage truck Major, but it's the last vehicle I got. Maj. Winchester : Not at all, what better way to leave a garbage dump? Maj. Winchester : Surely you can find me a more suitable mode of transportation. Sergeant Luther Rizzo : I don't know Major. We ain't got many MODES left. Movie Title: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) as Captain Harris: Captain Harris : Don't touch those! Don't you ever touch my balls without asking! Movie Title: Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988) as Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Sgt. Moses Hightower : Sir, I realize this is your jurisdiction. But if there is a rescue attempt, we would like to volunteer. Capt. Thaddeus Harris : Commissioner Murdock, I couldn't agree more. I think it is vital that the rescues know Commandant Lassard intimately. Now, I can vouch for the abilities of these officers. After all, I trained them myself. Sgt. Larvell Jones : Must be the drugs. [Captain Harris, with the word Dork burned into his chest, approaches a bar where Cmndt. Lassard, Chief Hurst, Chief Murdock, and the Mayor of Miami are seated] Capt. Thaddeus Harris : Oh Mr. Mayor, excuse me sir. I don't mean to insult your city, but the people on this beach are very rude and hostile. Mayor of Miami : Well, I'm sorry to hear that... Captain Dork! [The gentlemen at the bar break down in laughter, and Harris finally realizes what has been burned on to his chest] Capt. Thaddeus Harris : Proctor! You're in my sun! Movie Title: Police Academy (1984) as Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris: Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris : My name is Lieutenant Harris, in case you missed it. This is Sergeant Callahan, in case you missed it. We are the meanest instructors here. We've got you because you are the worst people here. From now on, you are "D" Squad; "D" for "dirtbags." When I say: "Hey, dirtbags." that means you. I'm going to make you hate me for the rest of your lives. Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris : Son, where did you get that gun? Cadet Eugene Tackleberry : [smiling proudly] My mum gave it to me. Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris : Remember Mahoney, nobody screws with me. Carey Mahoney : Well, maybe you'll meet the right girl and all of that will change. Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris : Hey! Why didn't you guys call me this weekend? Cadet Kyle Blankes : Well, nothing really happened, sir. Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris : There was a party, wasn't there? Cadet Kyle Blankes : Yes, sir. Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris : Well, what went on? Cadet Chad Copeland : Dancing, sir. Mostly dancing. Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris : [to himself] Dancing? Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris : Move it! Move it! Move it! Movie Title: Short Circuit (1986) as Skroeder: Howard Marner : Crosby, whats it gonna do? Newton Crosby : Howard its hard to say, it's malfunctioning, it may not do anything. Skroeder : But it could decide to blow away anything that moves couldn't it. COULDN'T IT CROSBY. Howard Marner : I thought they were called Choppers. Skroeder : Well now we call them Huey's. Howard Marner : Well, why wasn't I notified? Howard Marner : What does it need input for? Newton Crosby : I don't know; I guess it can't triangulate its position. Howard Marner : That's a simple function. Newton Crosby : Can you triangulate *your* position, Howard? Skroeder : No, I can't. Newton Crosby : Well, then, there you go. Skroeder : Don't tell me that thing's laser is still armed. Ben Jabituya : Bimbo. Movie Title: Mannequin (1987) as Felix: [Felix has just discovered Jonathan making love to Emmy while she has assumed mannequin form] Felix : [To Jonathan] You are one ... sick ... puppy! |
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