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 Kel Mitchell QuotationMovie Title: The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (2000) as Martin: Martin : Don't you guys know about faxes? Lewis : Yeah, don't you know about E-mail? Bullwinkle J. Moose : Sure. A fax is a little red critter that hunts gesse and chickens. Half of them are males, and the other half are "E-males." Movie Title: Good Burger (1997) as Ed: Heather : [very fast] Have small space aliens ever landed in your brain and told you to break into the zoo and free the kangaroos? Ed : ...Not that I recall. Kurt : You make your sauce for Kurt. Ed : Who's Kurt? Kurt : I'm Kurt. Ed : I'm Ed. Kurt : I'm aware! Ed : You said you were Kurt. Ed : Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger! Can I take your order? Customer: [to Ed] Excuse me? Look, I ordered one Good Burger with nothing on it. Ed : That's what I gave you. Customer: No! You gave me a bun. Just a bun! Look! There's no meat in here. Ed : But you said you wanted nothing on it. Customer: Yes, but I expected a meat patty! Ed : Dude, a meat patty is something. You said "nothing". [to Fizz] Ed : Fizz, is a meat patty something or nothing? Fizz : Uh, something? Ed : I win! Customer: That's it! I am reporting your name to the manager! Ed : The manager already knows my name. Customer: [while throwing the bun down] And I'll see you in Hell! [Leaves] Ed : OK! See you there! Dexter : Check it, Ed, it's the Mondo Idiot! Ed : Oh, nice to meet you, Mondo Idiot, I'm Ed. Kurt : Well, Ed, you better watch your butt man! Ed : Okay. [Tries and ends up spinning around and around] Ed : I give up. There's no way a guy can watch his own butt. Ed : What's wrong? Were you bitten by a sheep? Dexter : What? Ed : Did you lose your trousers? [looks down at Dexter's legs] Dexter : No! Look, you are an unusually bad guesser, so I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you why I'm upset. I gotta come up with $1900 to fix some jerk's car, another $800 to fix my mother's car, and I just got fired. Man! I can't believe Kurt fired me from Mondo Burger... and he yelled at me... and he assaulted me... and he made fun of me... Ed : [after a long pause] Boy... you must really suck! Otis : I caught those Mondo brats dumping shark poison in our sauce. Dexter : Shark poison! Ed : Why would they want to harm those innocent sharks? Monique : [eating a corn-dog] Mm, great corn-dog. Ed : I wonder how they get the wienie into the corny exterior? Monique : A question that has plagued mankind for centuries. Ed : I'm a dude. He's a dude. She's a dude. 'Cause we're all dudes. Dexter : Haven't I seen you somewhere before? Ed : Ever been to Australia? Dexter : No. Ed : Me neither. Ed : This is where I come to think... I think. Dexter : Funny, I never figured you as much of a thinker. Heather : Hi! Ed : Hi! Heather : I'm a psychopath. Ed : I'm Ed. Heather : D'you think I'm cute? Ed : Sure. Heather : What's cute about me? Ed : Uh... your head. Heather : You have a cute head too! Ed : Well, I try to keep it nice. Ed : You got it! Dexter : Got what? I'm swinging from a dang pipe! Kurt : Can I give you a lift, Ed? Ed : I don't know, I weigh about 150. Kurt : Just get in the car. Dexter : I could've sworn I've seen you somewhere before. Ed : Maybe I'm someone famous like a baseball player or a pretty nurse. Dexter : What? What are you talking about? Ed : Okay, I give up. Who am I? Dexter : I don't know *who* you are or *where* I've seen you before or *why* you think you're an attractive nurse. [Ed dumped Trilampathol into the meat supply, causing Mondo Burger to be destroyed] Ed : I thought that if I took the can, there was a good chance that I'd get caught, but even if I did get the Trilampathol to the proper authorities, Kurt would hire some powerful attornies who would dispute any charges brought against him or Mondo Burger by manipulating the legal system and the way America's court system is congested these days, it would take months to convict him or anything so I thought I'd take matters into my own hands and dump the Trilampathol into the meal supply, making Mondo Burger a victim of its own foul play. Dexter : You thought all that? Ed : Yeah. I'm not stupid. Dexter : I don't even remember what my dad looks like. Ed : I don't remember what my dad looks like either, but at least I get to see him everyday. Ed : I know some of these words. Ed : You wanna see my secret place? Dexter : That's now what I had in mind. Roxanne : Do you know what would be great on this corn dog? Ed : A turtleneck? Movie Title: Figure It Out (1997) as Kel Mitchell: Kel Mitchell : [trying to guess the contestant's secret] "Cleans up after grandma after her teeth pop out." Movie Title: Two Heads Are Better Than None (2000) as Kel Kimble: Kel Kimble : [singing] 12 bottles of orange soda on the wall! Twelve bottles of orange soda! Take one down, pass it around! ELEVEN BOTTLES OF ORANGE SODDDDAAAAA ON THE WAAAAAAAALLLL! Awe... Kenan Rockmore : What, that's it? Kel Kimble : What? Kenan Rockmore : You're just gonna stop at eleven? Kel Kimble : Yeah! Kenan Rockmore : You mean we had to sit through 'A Million Bottles of Orange Soda on the Wall' and you're just gonna stop at eleven? You're not even gonna finish? Kel Kimble : Yeah, I'm tired of that song. Movie Title: Mystery Men (1999) as Invisible Boy: [The Spleen is shot in the rear] The Spleen : I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS. I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS. Invisible Boy : Doe's your power still work? The Spleen : Uh-oh, weapons check. Pull my fingers. [Invisible Boy pulls. Spleen lets loose a wind of gas, wiping out an entire gang] The Spleen : It'll do. Invisible Boy : I'm invisible. Can you see me? Rest of Mystery Men: YES. Movie Title: Clifford the Big Red Dog (2000) as T-Bone: Oscar Owens: RRuFFF! T-Bone : Rufff! Oscar Owens: ARRR! Oscar Owens: Oh,Hello! Mac [Keeping his mouth smiled]: Welcome to Birdwell Island. Clifford [Deeper Voice]: I'll Show around the big place's around the island. Oscar Owens: W-W-Well that's great! T-Bone : Right. T-Bone : Come back,your still half dirty! Lili over cellphone: It's just fog fog fog! Dalmation: This is are toy bub. Mean Dog next to the Dalmation: You know the rules loosers, weepers, finders, keepers. T-Bone : MMM-MMM MPPPPPHHHH! |
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