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 Mae West Quotation"It's better to be looked over, than overlooked." "A hard man is good to find." "Men are my life, diamonds are my career!" "When women go wrong, men go right after them!" "When caught between two evils I generally pick the one I've never tried before." "When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better." "Marriage is a great institution. I'm not ready for an institution." "It's not the man in your life that counts. It's the life in your man." "Is that a gun in you're pocket or are you just glad to see me?" "I believe in censorship. After all, I made a fortune out of it." "I've seen Mae West without a stitch and she's all woman. No hermaphrodite could have bosoms... well, like two large melons." - Edith Head, debunking the rumor that Mae was actually a man "I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign." "Too much of a good thing is wonderful." "I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing." "Don't marry a man to reform him that's what reform schools are for." "It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean." "I wrote the story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation but never missed it." "It ain't sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any." "Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is." "Good girls go to heaven; Bad girls go everywhere else". "I used to be Snow White -- but I drifted." "Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired." Movie Title: My Little Chickadee (1940) as Flower Belle / Flower Belle Lee: Flower Belle Lee : Alright boys, what are ya studying now? Boys: Arithmetic. Flower Belle Lee : Well, I was always good at figures. Judge : Are you trying to show contempt for this court? Flower Belle : No, your honor, I'm doin' my best to hide it! Cuthbert J. Twillie : May I present my card? Flower Belle Lee : 'Novelties and Notions.' What kind of notions you got? Cuthbert J. Twillie : You'd be surprised. Some are old, some are new. Whom have I the honor of addressing? Flower Belle Lee : Mmm, call me Flower Belle. Cuthbert J. Twillie : Flower Belle, what a euphonious appellation. Easy on the ears and a banquet for the eyes. Flower Belle Lee : You're kinda cute yourself. Cuthbert J. Twillie : Thank you. I never argue with a lady. Flower Belle Lee : Smart boy. Flower Belle Lee : Mmm, funny, every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from. Flower Belle Lee : Any time you got nothin' to do and lots of time to do it, come up. Cuthbert J. Twillie : Will you take me? Flower Belle Lee : I'll take you - and how. [giving children an arithmetic lesson] Flower Belle Lee : Two and two are four and five will give you ten if you play your cards right. Movie Title: Myra Breckinridge (1970) as Leticia Van Allen: [Letitia has been pulled over by a policeman] Leticia Van Allen : Don't forget to remind me about the policeman's balls - I mean policeman's ball! Italian man: In my country, to wait for love is like to burn by inches. Leticia Van Allen : You're the best salesman since Columbus. Italian man: He was a good lover, too? Leticia Van Allen : Yeah, he raised hell-a with Isabella. Leticia Van Allen : Wel, the end of another busy day. I can't wait till I get back to bed. If that don't work I'll try to sleep. [talent agent Leticia Van Allen is in her office with a young male client] Leticia Van Allen : Well, I don't care about your credits as long as you're oversexed. Stud : Oh, that's one of my credits! [a curtain goes up behind Leticia, revealing a bed] Stud : A bed! I never did see a bed in an office before. Leticia Van Allen : Well, you see I, I do a lot of night work sometimes. Movie Title: Belle of the Nineties (1934) as Ruby Carter: Wardrobe lady to Ruby Carter: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Ruby Carter : Ah, funny too, 'cause I can't cook. Ace Lamont : Great town, St. Louis. You were born here? Ruby Carter : Yes. Ace Lamont : What part? Ruby Carter : Why, all of me. Movie Title: Goin' to Town (1935) as Cleo Borden: Young Fellow : What excuse has a gal like you for runnin' around single? Cleo Borden : Mmm, I was born that way. Buck Gonzales : With any other dame, I wouldn't give a hoot. When it comes to you, I'm dynamite! Cleo Borden : Yes, and I'm your match. Buck Gonzales : You ain't scared of me 'cause they say I'm a bad man? Cleo Borden : I'm a good woman for a bad man. Cleo Borden : Cigarette me, Cossack. Ivan Valadov : For one kiss of your lips I would give half of my life. Cleo Borden : Oh, see me tomorrow, I'll kiss you twice. [Cleo sings last lines] Cleo Borden : But now I'm a lady / Come up and see me some time. Movie Title: Klondike Annie (1936) as The Frisco Doll: The Frisco Doll : Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I never tried. Movie Title: I'm No Angel (1933) as Tira: Tira : Beulah, peel me a grape. Jack Clayton : You were wonderful tonight. Tira : Yeah, I'm always wonderful at night. Jack Clayton : Tonight, you were especially good. Tira : Well... When I'm good, I'm very good. But, when I'm bad... [winks at Jack] Tira : I'm better. Tira : It's not the men in your life that counts, it's the life in your men. Tira : Were you at the haircutter or have your ears moved down? Tira : What do you do for a living? Rich Guy : I'm a politician. Tira : I don't like to work either. Jack Clayton : Oh I'm crazy about you. Tira : I did my best to make you that way. Jack Clayton : Look darling, you need a rest, and so do I. Let me take you away somewhere, we'll... Tira : Would you call that a rest? Jack Clayton : What are you thinking about? Tira : Same thing you are. Movie Title: She Done Him Wrong (1933) as Lady Lou: Lady Lou : Hello there, warm, dark and handsome. Lady Lou : Why don't you come up some time and see me? Lady Lou : Diamonds is my career. Lady Lou : It was a toss up between whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost. Lady Lou : When a woman goes wrong, the men go right after her. Captain Cummings : Haven't you ever had a man who made you happy? Lady Lou : Sure, lots of times. Movie Title: Sextette (1978) as Marlo Manners: Reporter: How do you like it in London, Marlo? Marlo Manners : Hmmm, I like it anywhere! Marlo Manners : Marriage is like a book. The whole story takes place between the covers. Marlo Manners : A real farmer. He spent his childhood in the wheat, and his marriage in the hay. Marlo Manners : I'm the girl who works for Paramount all day, and Fox all night. Movie Title: Night After Night (1932) as Maudie: Onlooker: Goodness, what beautiful diamonds! Maudie : Goodness had nothing to do with it. |
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