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 Jay Chandrasekhar QuotationMovie Title: Club Dread (2004) as Putman Livingston / The Killer (Putman Livingston) / Putman: [Putman runs up to Dave and Juan in the Pacman maze in a banana suit] Putman : Mmm! Mmm! Mmmm! Dave : Are you trying to tell us something boy? Is Timmy trapped in the well? [Putman motions for them to follow him] Juan : [singing while running after Putman] Follow thee banana, follow thee banana! Putman : I was Andre Agassi's tennis partner for a week. I'm the one who taught 'Dre how to play Cocks and Quarters. Can you believe he'd never played Cocks and Quarters? Sam : [thinking Lars escaped through a tiny window] He couldn't have. Putman : He's far too large. Putman : You've manacled me to my death-bed, you Piccadilly whore! Jenny : Aren't you bringing any weapons? Lars Bronkhorst : I have all the weapons I need. Putman Livingston : Piss on that! I'm bringing a ma-she-tay! Putman : David, you hated him for killing your parents. You see, what none of us did know, what none of us could know, was that David's parents were trampled to death at a Coconut Pete concert. Jenny : What the hell's wrong with you Putman? Everyone knows Dave's parents got killed at a Pete show. Juan : Way to bring up on a sore subject. The Killer (Putman Livingston) : [The killer stands over Putman and takes off his mask to reveal the killer is Putman] Take that bag off your head, love, and give us a kiss. Putman Livingston : Wha... [The killer Putman plants a kiss right on real Putman's lips before he wakes up, it was a dream] Sam : [referring to lyrics form a Coconut Pete song] You know, octopus spelled backwards is supotco. Juan, isn't that Spanish for something? Juan : Supotco? No. But, the word for shoe is zapato. Sam : hmm, shoe. Putman : [returning from being on stage] What'd I miss? Jenny : Apparently somebody's going to get killed with a shoe. Movie Title: Broken Lizard's Super Troopers (2001) as Thorny: Farva : Give me a double bacon cheeseburger. Burger Kid: [Into mic] Double bacon cheeseburger. It's for a cop. Farva : What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now? Burger Kid: No, I just told him that so he makes it good. [Into mic] Burger Kid: Don't spit in that cop's burger. [to farva] Burger Kid: Want me to dipa-size your meal for 25 cents? Farva : Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free? Burger Kid: It's only 25 cents and Look how much you get. Thorny : look kid he dosen't want it. Farva : I'll just take a litter of cola. Burger Kid: [Into mic] litter-a-cola? do we sell litter-a-cola? [to farva] Burger Kid: what's a litter-a-cola? Farva : [slowly starts shouting] litter is French for [Grabs Burger kid by shirt] Farva : give me my fucking cola. Thorny : It stinks like sex in here. Thorny : Are you okay? College Boy 2 : Yeah, sure. Thorny : Yes sir? College Boy 2 : Yes sir. Thorny : No, did you say "yes sir."? Rabbit : I think he said "yeah, sure." College Boy 1: What'd you say man? College Boy 2 : When I said, "yeah, sure", but what... literally what I said was "yeah, sure, sir." Thorny : So you are okay then? College Boy 2 : Yes sir. [sounds like "yeah sure"] Thorny : Who wants a mustache ride? Farva : Hey, let's pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners. Thorny : You know, Farva, only you can make a dark man blush. And no, we're not doing it. Thorny : Where are your shoes? Foster : What are you, the shoe police? Thorny : I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar Foster : Black magic only works on the rookie Thorny : That's brown magic Police Chief Grady : I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamoles. Mike? Officer Smy : Yeah, chief. I'll have a CHINCHILLA. Rabbit : I don't get it. Tacos? Thorny : They think I'm Mexican. Rabbit : You're not? Thorny : I am all that is man. Farva : It doesn't matter cause I'm going to win ten million dollars. Thorny : What are you going to do with ten million dollars, and you can't say buy the Cleveland Cavaliers. Farva : I'd buy a ten million dollar car. Thorny : That's fine I'd still pull you over. Farva : Bull Shit. You couldn't pull me over, and even if you did I'd activate my car's wings and I'd fly away. [Farva pulls off ticket from cup and pop spills all over him from the hole behind the ticket] Farva : Stupid burger punk. Thorny : Littering and... littering and... smokin' the reefer. Mac : How's your shooting, Thorny? Thorny : Good. I've been dead on all morning. Mac : What about that little guy? [points to a bullet hole in the shooting target's crotch] Thorny : Who, that little guy? I wouldn't worry about that little guy. |
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