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Johnny Depp Quotation

Anything I've done up till 27 May 1999 was kind of an illusion, existing without living. My daughter, the birth of my daughter, gave me life.

"You use your money to buy privacy because during most of your life you aren't allowed to be normal." - on the money he makes.

"I don't pretend to be captain weird. I just do what I do."

"One of the most incredible moments I've ever had was sitting in Vincent [Price]'s trailer...I was showing him this first-edition book I have of the complete works of Poe--with really amazing illustrations. Vincent was going nuts over the drawings, and he started talking about The Tomb of Ligeia. Then he closed the book and began to recite it to me in this beautiful voice, filling the room with huge sounds. Such passion! I looked in the book later, and it was verbatim. Word perfect. It was a great moment. I'll never forget that."

"The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants."

I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots.

"America is dumb, it's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive. My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out."

"Taken in context, what I was saying was that, compared to Europe, America is a very young country and we are still growing as a nation. It is a shame that the metaphor I used was taken so radically out of context and slung about irresponsibly by the news media. There was no anti-American sentiment. In fact, it was just the opposite. I am an American. I love my country and have great hopes for it. It is for this reason that I speak candidly and sometimes critically about it. I have benefited greatly from the freedom that exists in my country and for this I am eternally grateful."

"France, and the whole of Europe have a great culture and an amazing history. Most important thing though is that people there know how to live! In America they've forgotten all about it. I'm afraid that the American culture is a disaster."

(On his character in the film Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)): Captain Jack Sparrow is like a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew.

"I can remember when I finished Edward Scissorhands, looking in the mirror as the girl was doing my make-up for the last time and thinking, it was like the 90th or 89th day of shooting and I remember looking and going 'Wow, this is it. I'm saying goodbye to this guy, I'm saying goodbye to Edward Scissorhands.' You know, it was kind of sad. But in fact, I think they're all still somehow in there."

"With any part you play, there is a certain amount of yourself in it. There has to be, otherwise it's just not acting. It's lying."

The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing.

I'm an old-fashioned guy...I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.

[When asked by James Lipton on "Inside The Actor's Studio" what attracts him to funny hats] "I don't know, maybe I just read too much Dr. Suess as a kid."

[After being asked if he is a romantic] "Am I a romantic? I've seen Wuthering Heights ten times. I'm a romantic."

Talking on the Sleepy Hollow set about what it was like being dragged behind a carriage in the woods: "I wasn't afraid of getting hurt, I was just afraid that the horses may relieve themselves on the journey."

I'm shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I've done everything I can to avoid it.

When kids hit 1 year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.

This is a rumor-filled society and if people want to sit around and talk about whom I've dated, then I'd say they have a lot of spare time and should consider other topics... or masturbation.

"The character I've played, that I've responded to, there has been a lost-soul quality to them."

Movie Title: The Astronaut's Wife (1999) as Spencer Armacost:

Spencer Armacost : Whatever you see, I see. Whatever you know... I know.

Jillian : You killed my husband.
Spencer Armacost : Yeah. I did. And I fucked his wife.

Spencer Armacost : Well I told that bloated fast food eating motherfucker that we'd have never gotten the chance to be heroes if he hadn't forced us to put that peice of shit exploding sateliette up into orbit.
Jillian Armacost : And then what happened?
Spencer Armacost : Oh you know, he said he'd never been spoken to like that before by anybody and I said I didn't give a big hairy rats ass and if he ever called me again I would track him down, rouse him from his bunk, pull his pants round his ankles and spank him with a coathanger right there in front of his wife and children!
Jillian Armacost : Wanna tell me what you really said to the president?
Spencer Armacost : Yeah, I thanked him for his call and I asked him what he was wearing. And, uh, he started breathing kinda heavy, made a funny noise and hung up.

Spencer Armacost : Now, she got balloons, why didn't I get no balloons?
Jillian Armacost : Coz you got candy
Spencer Armacost : I ain't got no candy, where's my candy?

Movie Title: The Ninth Gate (1999) as Dean Corso:

Baroness Kessler : My latest work: "The Devil: History and Myth" - a kind of biography. It will be published next year.
Dean Corso : Why the devil?
Baroness Kessler : [laughs] I saw him one day. I was fifteen years old, and I saw him as plain as I see you now: cutaway, top hat, cane. Very elegant, very handsome. It was love at first sight.

Liana Telfer : Don't fuck with me!
Dean Corso : I thought I just did.

Movie Title: What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993) as Gilbert:

Momma : You're my knight in shimmering armor. Did you know that?
Gilbert : I think you mean shining.
Momma : No shimmering. You shimmer, and you glow.

Tucker : How's momma?
Gilbert : She's fat.
Tucker : Come on man. She's not all that big, Gilbert.
Gilbert : What?
Tucker : Listen, I saw a guy at the state fair that was... a little bit bigger.
Gilbert : A little bit bigger?
Tucker : Look, all I'm sayin is that she's not the biggest I ever seen, okay?
Gilbert : Tucker, she's a whale!
Tucker : Well take her out for a walk once and while.
Gilbert : Take her out for a jog!
Arnie : She's a whale! Tucker, she's a whale!

Gilbert : You know what? You're such a big boy.
Arnie : Yeah!
Gilbert : You're such a big boy.
Arnie : I'm a big boy!
Gilbert : You know what? I bet you could do this all by yourself if you really wanted to. Could you do this by yourself?
Arnie : I'm a big boy!
Gilbert : Yeah, you're a big boy. Now take this...
Arnie : Take this.
Gilbert : Wash everything, your towels are there.
Arnie : Okay!
Gilbert : And your robe is there.
Arnie : Okay! The big boy is gonna wash himself!

Becky : I love the sky. It's so limitless.
Gilbert : It is big. It's very big.
Becky : Big doesn't even sum it up, right? That word big is so small.

Becky : Tell me what you want as fast as it comes to you.
Gilbert : I wanna be a good person.

[Arnie jumps onto Gilbert's back]
Gilbert : God Arnie, you're getting so big. Pretty soon I ain't gonna be able to carry you no more.
Arnie Grape : No, you're getting littler Gilbert. You're getting littler, you're shrinking! You're shrinking Gilbert, you're shrinking! Shrinking, shrinking, shrinking!

Gilbert : [to Becky] I don't know what to say.
Arnie : Say "thank you," Gilbert. "Thank you."
Gilbert : [whispering] Thank you.

Gilbert : [climbing of the water tower] It's not going to happen again. This is the last time. Right Arnie?
Arnie : It's the last time.
Gilbert : Okay. Let's go.
Arnie : But I want to go back up there again.

Gilbert : Bobby, how's business?
Bobby : Oh, not good... nobody's dying.

Gilbert's Boss: What's going on over there at "Food Land"?
Gilbert : [labeling price tags on cans] I wouldn't know, I don't shop there. [puts a can up and looks at boss]
Gilbert : I'd rather die. [smiles]

Gilbert : I know a boy who's name is Arnie... he's uh... bout to turn 18 and have a big party.

Gilbert : Why will I take care of it?
Arnie : Gilbert...
Gilbert : Hmm?
Arnie : 'Cause you're Gilbert.
Gilbert : 'Cause I'm Gilbert.

Gilbert : You don't hurt Arnie, you just don't.

Movie Title: Sleepy Hollow (1999) as Ichabod Crane:

Ichabod Crane : Villainy wears many masks, none of which so dangerous as virtue...

Brom Van Brunt : We haven't heard your name yet, friend.
Ichabod Crane : I have not yet said it.

Katrina Anne Van Tassel : I have shed my tears for Brom... and yet my heart is not broken. Do you think me wicked?
Ichabod Crane : No... but perhaps there is a little bit of witch in you, Katrina.
Katrina Anne Van Tassel : Why do you say that?
Ichabod Crane : Because you have bewitched me.

Ichabod Crane : Truth is appearance, but appearance isn't always truth.

Reverend Steenwyck : Their heads weren't found severed. Their heads were not found at all.
Ichabod Crane : The heads are... gone?
Notary James Hardenbrook : Taken. Taken by the headless horsemen. Taken back to hell.

Young Masbath : Is he dead?
Ichabod Crane : That's the problem. He was dead to begin with.

Ichabod Crane : You believe the father killed her?
Samuel Philipse : The Horseman killed her.
Ichabod Crane : How often do I have to tell you? There is no Horseman, never was a Horseman, and never will be a Horseman. [Pulls a pendant off of The Magistrate's neck]
Ichabod Crane : What is that thing?
Samuel Philipse : It's my talisman. It protects me from the Horseman.

Ichabod Crane : It was a headless horseman.
Baltus Van Tassel : You must not excite yourself.
Ichabod Crane : But it was a headless horseman.
Baltus Van Tassel : Of course it was. That's why you're here.
Ichabod Crane : No, you must believe me. It was a horseman, a dead one. Headless.
Baltus Van Tassel : I know, I know.
Ichabod Crane : You don't know because you were not there. It's all true.
Baltus Van Tassel : Of course it is. I told you. Everyone told you.
Ichabod Crane : I... saw him. [faints]

Ichabod Crane : The millennium is almost upon us. In a few months, we will be living in the nineteenth century. But our courts continue to rely on medieval devices of torture.
High Constable : Stand down.
Ichabod Crane : I stand up for sense and justice.

Ichabod Crane : We have murders in New York without benefit of ghouls and goblins.
Baltus Van Tassel : You are a long way from New York, constable.

Ichabod Crane : Katrina, why are you in my room?
Katrina Anne Van Tassel : Because it is yours.

Ichabod Crane : [opens the book] It was your mother's?
Katrina Anne Van Tassel : Keep it close to your heart. It'll show protection against harm.
Ichabod Crane : Are you so certain of everything?

Katrina Anne Van Tassel : Is it Theodore?
Ichabod Crane : No, pardon Miss, I am only a stranger.
Katrina Anne Van Tassel : Then have a kiss on account.

Ichabod Crane : [to the Western Woods Crone] I should like to say that I make no assumptions about your occupation nor your ways which... which... which... which nothing to me what if you are.

Ichabod Crane : Katrina, I might have killed you. Why have you come?
Katrina Anne Van Tassel : Because no one else would go with you.
Ichabod Crane : I am now twice the man, and it is your white magic.

[to the horse]
Ichabod Crane : Giddy Up... no, no this way... good horsey.

Lady Van Tassel : Still Alive?
Ichabod Crane : Run, Katrina.
Lady Van Tassel : Yes, do run, and jump, and skip.

Movie Title: Blow (2001) as George:

George : It was the greatest feeling I ever had. Followed abruptly by the worst feeling I ever had.

George : So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last days of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by when they're busy making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.

Mirtha Jung : I'm divorcin' you George. I am getting custody of Kristina. And when you get out next week, you're gonna pay support and that's the end of it. There is someone else. I did not think you would want to know but I wanted to tell you. Say something.
George : What do you want me to say? I'm in prison. You should know you're the one who put me in here.
Mirtha Jung : I knew you would say something like that. Always thinkin' about yourself.

George : May the wind always be at your back and the sun upon your face.
Fred Jung : And may the winds of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.
Fred Jung : Cheers Georgie.
George : Cheers pop.

George : Hello Dad. You know I remember a lifetime ago, when I was about 3 1/2 feet tall, weighing all of 60 pounds, but every inch your son. I remember those Saturday mornings going to work with my dad, we'd climb into that big green truck. I thought that truck... was the biggest truck in the universe pop. I remember how important the job we did was, how if it wasn't for us, people would freeze to death. I thought you were the strongest man in the world. And remember those home videos when mom would dress up like Loretta Young, barbeques and football games, ice cream, playing with the Tuna. And when I left for California only to come home with the FBI chasing me, and that FBI agent Trout had to kneel down to put my boots on and you said, "That's where you belong you son of a bitch, puttin on Georgie's boots." That was a good one pop, you remember that. And remember that time when you told me that money wasn't real. Well old man, I'm 42 years old, and I finally realize what you were trying to tell me, so many years ago. I finally understand. Your the best, pop, just wish I could have done more for you, wish we had more time. Anyway, may the wind always be at your back, and the sun always upon your face, and may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars. I love you Dad. Love George.

George : So, what'd I tell ya, Derek?
Derek : It's great, but what am I supposed to do with it?
George : Sell it.
Derek : Jesus Christ, George, I don't see you for two years and you show up on my doorstep with 110 pounds of blow.
George : Just fucking sell it, Derek.
Derek : Okay, but it's going to take me a year. [scene shift to interior Derek's bar surrounded by stacks of cash]
Derek : 36 hours, 36 hours, I can't believe we got rid of it in 36 hours.

George : The official toxicity limit for humans is between one and one and half grams of cocaine depending on body weight. I was averaging five grams a day, maybe more. I snorted ten grams in ten minutes once. I guess I had a high tolerance.

George : I was busted. Set up by the FBI and the DEA. That didn't bother me. Set up by Kevin Dulli and Derek Forreal to save their own asses. That didn't bother me. Sentenced to 60 years at Ottisville. That didn't bother me. I'd broken a promise. Everything I love in my life goes away.

Diego Delgado : How much time do you have?
George : Oh, let's see. Twenty-six months.
Diego Delgado : Twenty-six months? For murder? I must meet your lawyer.

George : Danbury wasn't a prison, it was a crime school. I went in with a Bachelor of marijuana, came out with a Doctorate of cocaine.

Diego Delgado : I need a favor from you.
George : [voice over] The favor was to pick up fifty kilos of cocaine. Fifty. That's a hundred and ten pounds. Not exactly a small favor. Not like bumming a cigarette, for example. But what the hell. I didn't have anything better to do that day. It's not like I was on parole or anything.

Pablo Escobar : Our business here today is cocaine, yes?
George : Si. Yes it is.
Pablo Escobar : I need to find an Americano who I can trust. One with honor, intelligence . . .
George : You need an Americano with balls, Senior Escobar.
Pablo Escobar : Yes, and balls, Mr. George.

Movie Title: Benny & Joon (1993) as Sam:

Sam : You don't like raisins?
Joon : Not really.
Sam : Why?
Joon : They used to be fat and juicy and now they're twisted. They had their lives stolen. Well, they taste sweet, but really they're just humiliated grapes. I can't say I am a big supporter of the raisin council.
Sam : Did you see those, those raisins on TV? The ones that sing and dance and stuff?
Joon : They scare me.
Sam : Yeah me too
Joon : It's sick. The commercial people they make them sing and dance so people will eat them.
Sam : It's a shame about raisins.
Joon : Cannibals.
Sam : Yeah. Do you like avocados?
Joon : They're a fruit you know.
Sam : Ruthie, do you got any avocados?

Sam : How sick is she?
Benny : Oh, she's plenty sick.
Sam : Oh. Because you know, it seems to me that, aside from being a little mentally ill, she's pretty normal.

Joon : What?
Sam : Kirk Douglas... Van Gogh... ear...
Joon : Oh.

Sam : I'm Sam.
Benny : So I hear... I'm Benny.
Sam : With an 'n'?
Benny : Yea two of 'em... this is Joon.
Sam : With an 'n'?
Joon : One... You're out of your tree.
Sam : It's... not my tree

Joon : Did you have to go to school for that?
Sam : No, no, I got thrown out of school for that.

Sam : Why don't you like raisins?
Joon : Well, they taste sweet, but really they're just humiliated grapes.

Sam : Thanks for the couch. Um... Mike made me sleep under the sink.

Sam : Joon. I, I love you.
Joon : Me too. [door opens]
Joon : [getting up] Don't tell Benny.
Sam : Okay.

Sam : Mommy?

Sam : Oh my God! I've just been looking for my boyfriend. Have you seen him? He's a guy with a little mole on his right cheek. AH! Oh, Brad, Brad, please don't be dead Brad. I never got a chance to tell you want you meant to me Oh, Brad, please! It's you! You're you! Ruthie Melony, co star of the Prom Queen Mutilator with Dick Bebe!

Sam : He was mine! He was mine! No Cindy! You're sick you need help. No, Cindy! No Cindy! No!

Movie Title: Ed Wood (1994) as Edward D. Wood, Jr.:

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I met Bela Lugosi.
Dolores Fuller : Why, I thought he was dead.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No, he's very much alive. Well, sort of.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : My girlfriend still doesn't know why her sweaters are always stretched out.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : This story's gonna grab people. It's about this guy, he's crazy about this girl, but he likes to wear dresses. Should he tell her? Should he not tell her? He's torn, Georgie. This is drama.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime, grab some dinner, maybe?
Vampira : You mean a date? I thought you were a fag.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No, no, I'm just a transvestite.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I like to dress in women's clothing.
Georgie Weiss : You're a fruit?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No, not at all. I love women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them.
Georgie Weiss : You're not a fruit?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No, I'm all man. I even fought in W.W.2. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.

Dolores Fuller : Ed, what's *my* motivation?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : You're the file clerk. You're running into the next room and you run into Janet.
Dolores Fuller : But are we good friends or is she just a casual acquaintance?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Dolores, I have five days to complete this picture. Don't get goofy on me.

[Stepping into water]
Bela Lugosi : GODDAMN, it's cold!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : It'll warm up once you're in it.
Bela Lugosi : FUCK YOU! You come out here!

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : And cut! Print. We're moving on. That was perfect.
Ed Reynolds : Perfect? Mr. Wood, do you know anything about the art of film production?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Well, I like to think so.
Ed Reynolds : That cardboard headstone tipped over. This graveyard is obviously phony.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Nobody will ever notice that. Filmmaking is not about the tiny details. It's about the big picture.
Ed Reynolds : The big picture?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Yes.
Ed Reynolds : Then how 'bout when the policemen arrived in daylight, but now it's suddenly night?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What do you know? Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?

[repeated line]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Cut! That was perfect!

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Why if I had half a chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called in to solve the mystery.
Editor on Studio Lot : You forgot the octopus.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No, no, I'm saving that for my big underwater climax.

Georgie Weiss : So, what was the important news you couldn't tell me on the phone, again?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Well, I started thinking about what you were saying about how your movies need to make a profit. Now, what is the one thing, if you put it in a movie, it'll be successful?
Georgie Weiss : Tits.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No, better than that. A star.
Georgie Weiss : you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures; I make crap.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Yes, but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something.
Georgie Weiss : Yeah. Crap with a star.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Do you know that I've even had producers re-cut my movies?
Orson Welles : I hate when that happens.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : And they always want to cast their buddies. It doesn't even matter if they're right for the part.
Orson Welles : Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a thriller for Universal. They want Charlton Heston as a Mexican.

Bunny Breckinridge : What about glitter? When I was a headliner in Paris, audiences always liked it when I sparkled.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No!
Bunny Breckinridge : Cat's Eyes.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No!
Bunny Breckinridge : Well, I'm going to need some antennae.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No! You're the ruler of the galaxy! Show a little taste!

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [Reading a review] Look, he's got some nice things to say here. "The soldiers' costumes are very realistic." That's positive!
Bunny Breckinridge : Rave of the century.

[Bunny Breckenridge is being baptized]
Reverend Lemon : Welcome to the fold, brother. Welcome. Praise the lord, brother. Do you reject Satan and all his evils?
Bunny Breckinridge : Sure. [After his baptism, Bunny swims towards Ed Wood]
Bunny Breckinridge : How do you do it? How do you get all your friends to get baptized just so you can make a monster movie?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : It's not a monster movie. It's a supernatural thriller.

[On the phone to Bunny]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Listen, hit the bars, work some parties, and get me transvestites. I need transvestites. All right. Bye.
Bela Lugosi : Eddie, what kind of a movie is this?

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [On phone with Mr. Feldman] Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better. Hello. Hello.

Kathy O'Hara : Eddie's the only fella in town who doesn't pass judgment on people.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : That's right. If I did, I wouldn't have any friends.

Bela Lugosi : Karloff? Sidekick? FUCK YOU! Karloff did not deserve to smell my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in Hell for all I care!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What happened?
Bela Lugosi : How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it takes talent to do Frankenstein? It's all makeup and grunting. [Mocks Frankenstein]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Bela, I agree with you 100%. Now, "Dracula," that's a role that requires talent.
Bela Lugosi : Of course. Dracula requires presence. It's all in the eyes, and the voice, and the hands...
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [interrupting] That's right. That's right. You seem a little agitated. You wanna to go outside and get some air?
Bela Lugosi : Bullshit! I'm ready now! Roll the camera!

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : You know, you're, you're much scarier in real life than you are in the movie.
Bela Lugosi : Thank you.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Is there a script?
Georgie Weiss : Fuck no. But, there's a poster.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Mr. Reynolds.
Ed Reynolds : Yes.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : We are going to finsh this picture just the way I want it... because you cannot compromise an artist's vision.
Reverend Lemon : But it's OUR money.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : And you're gonna make a bundle, but only if you shut up and let me do things my way.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Is something wrong, Bela?

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : ...and then, Dr. Vornoff falls into the pit, and his own octupus attacks and eats him. The end.
Old Man McCoy : Whew! That's quite a story.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Yes.
Old Man McCoy : So, uh, you made the movie, and now you wanna make it again?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No. We shot ten minutes of the movie, and now we're looking for completion funds.
Old Man McCoy : Oh, son, you're too vague. [Yells to one of his butchers]
Old Man McCoy : BILLY BOB! You're cuttin' em too lean.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Mr. McCoy. How can I make you happy?
Old Man McCoy : [Spits] Okay. Two things. Number one: I want the movie to end with a big explosion. Sky full of smoke.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Yes. But it ends with Dr. Vornoff falling into the pit.
Old Man McCoy : Not any more. Number two: I got a son. Little slow, but a good boy, and somethin' tells me he'd make a helluva leadin' man.

[At the "Plan 9" premiere]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : This is the one. 'This' is the one I'll be remembered for.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : They're driving me CRAZY. These Baptists are stupid. Stupid. STUPID.

[On the reason for the success of 'Dracula(1931)']
Bela Lugosi : They were mythic. They had a poetry to them.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Yes.
Bela Lugosi : And you know what else? The women... the women preferred the traditional monsters.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : The women? Huh?
Bela Lugosi : The pure horror, it both repels, and attracts them, because in their collective unconsiousness, they have the agony of childbirth. The blood. The blood is horror.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : You know, I never thought of that.
Bela Lugosi : Take my word for it. If you want to make out with a young lady, take her to see "Dracula".

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What are you drinking, Bela?
Bela Lugosi : Formaldehyde
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Straight up or on the rocks?

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Kathy... I'm about to tell you something that I never told any girl on a first date. But I think it's important that you know... I like to wear women's clothes.
Kathy O'Hara : Huh?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I like to wear women's clothes. Panties, brassieres, sweaters, pumps. It's just something I do. And I can't believe I'm telling you this, but I really like you, and I don't want it getting in the way down the road.
Kathy O'Hara : Does this mean... you don't like sex with girls?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : No, I love sex with girls. [long pause]
Kathy O'Hara : Okay.

[Making up the bald Dr. Tom to look like Bela Lugosi]
Makeup Man Harry : Ed, what am I gonna do here.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What do you mean?
Makeup Man Harry : Has no hair.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Gee, I never noticed that. Put a wig on him!

Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Are you people insane? I'm the director. I make the casting decisions around here.

[Finds Bela ailing]
Bela Lugosi : This happens all the time.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Is there anything I can get for you? Water or a blanket?
Bela Lugosi : Goulash.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I don't know how to make goulash. [See the track marks on Bela's arm]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Bela, what's in the needle?
Bela Lugosi : Morphine. With a demerol chaser.

Dolores Fuller : [arriving for her scenes in "Bride of the Monster"] Well, I see the usual cast of fags, losers, and drug addicts are here.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Quiet! Bela might hear you!

Movie Title: Jim Jarmusch's Dead Man (1995) as William Blake:

William Blake : I... smell... beans...

William Blake : If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite.

William Blake : What is your name?
Nobody : My name is Nobody.
William Blake : Excuse me?
Nobody : My name is Xamichee, he who talks loud say nothing.
William Blake : He who talks... I thought you said your name was Nobody.
Nobody : I preferred to be called Nobody.

Nobody : Did you kill the white man who killed you?
William Blake : I'm not dead. Am I?

Movie Title: Freddy's Dead:
The Final Nightmare (1991) as Oprah Noodlemantra:

Oprah Noodlemantra : All right, once again... This is your brain. [Cracks egg]
Oprah Noodlemantra : This is your brain ON DRUGS. Any Questions? [Freddy hits him with the frying pan]
Freddy Krueger : Yeah! What are YOU on? Looks like a frying pan and some eggs to me!

Movie Title: Chocolat (2000) as Roux:

Roux : Very good... but not my favorite

Roux : I'll come 'round sometime and get that squeak out of your door.

Roux : Hot chocolate. My favourite.

Movie Title: From Hell (2001) as Abberline:

Abberline : You're not going to see the twentieth century.

Abberline : Why?
Constable Withers : Are you questioning my decision?
Abberline : No sir, I just simply want to know why.

Movie Title: Donnie Brasco (1997) as Joe Pistone / Donnie Brasco:

FBI Technician: What's "forget about it"?
Donnie Brasco : "Forget about it" is like if you agree with someone, you know, like "Raquel Welsh is one great piece of ass, forget about it." But then, if you disagree, like "A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it!" you know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like mingia those peppers, "forget about it." But it's also like saying "Go to hell!" too. Like, you know, like "Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker?" and Paulie says "Forget about it!" Sometimes it just means forget about it.

Donnie Brasco : If I come out alive, this guy, Lefty, ends up dead. That's the same thing as me putting the bullet in his head myself.

Joe Pistone : All my life I've tried to be the good guy, the guy in the white fucking hat. And for what? For nothing. I'm not becoming like them; I am them.

Lefty : There's the boss. And, under him, there's the skipper. You know how this works?
Donnie Brasco : Yeah, it's like in the army.
Lefty : Bullshit. The army is some guy you don't know telling you to go whack some other guy you don't know.

Donnie Brasco : You think I'm a rat...?
Lefty : How many times have I had you in my house? If you're a rat, then I'm the biggest mutt in the history of the Mafia.

Donnie Brasco : [Joe's kids are giving him the silent treatment] I bet you can't get through breakfast without saying three words
Daughter : [beaming up at him] You lose!

Movie Title: Edward Scissorhands (1990) as Edward:

Kim : Hold me.
Edward : I can't.

Esmerelda : Have you sheep strayed so far from the flock?
Edward : We're not sheep.

Bill : Soup's on!
Edward : I thought this was shish kabob.

[Joyce offers Edward lemonade]
Edward : Lemonade? [Edward pukes]

Peg Boggs : How was it?
Edward : It was great. She showed me all the wallpaper and where everything is going to go.
Peg Boggs : Well that's nice.
Edward : And then she brought me in the back room where she took all her clothes off.

Edward : Because you asked me to.

Peg Boggs : What happened to you?
Edward : I'm not finished.

Movie Title: Don Juan DeMarco (1995) as Don Juan:

Don Juan : There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.

Don Juan : By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye. Now there are those, of course, who do not share my perceptions, it is true. When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are... glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect... because I am not limited by my eyesight. Women react to me in the way they do, Don Octavio, because they sense that I search out the beauty that lies within until it overwhelms everything else. And then they cannot avoid their desire, to release that beauty and envelope me in it. So, to answer your question, I see as clear as day that this great edifice in which we find ourselves is your villa. It is your home and as for you, Don Octavio DeFlores, you are a great lover like myself, even though you may have lost your way and your accent. Shall I continue?

Don Juan : I would say that he has a rather limited and uncreative way of looking at the situation. Look, you want to know if I understand that this is a mental hospital? Yes, I understand that, but then how can I say that you are Don Octavio and I am a guest at your villa? Correct?

Dr. Jack Michler : Don Juan, this woman Dona Ana, seems very special. I would like so much to hear about her.
Don Juan : Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love? Until your every sense is filled with her? You inhale her. You taste her. You see your unborn children in her eyes and know that your heart has at last found a home. Your life begins with her, and without her it must surely end.
Dr. Jack Michler : I have no doubt that losing a love like this can be very painful. But you must understand my friend, that the power of love, the power of Don Juan's love, is eternal and will not be denied.

[Don Juan does a flamenco dance at the beginning of his session with Bill]
Bill : [Clears throat] Would you, um, would you like to talk about why you attempted to kill yourself?
Don Juan : You want Don Juan de Marco, the world's greatest lover, to talk to you? What do you know of great love? Have you ever loved a woman until milk leaked from her as though she had just given birth to love itself, and now must feed it or burst? Have you ever tasted a woman until she believed that she could be satisfied only by consuming the tongue that had devoured her? Have you ever loved a woman so completely that the sound of your voice in her ear could cause her body to shudder and explode with such intense pleasure that only weeping could bring her full release?

Don Juan : No woman has ever left my arms unsatisfied.

Don Juan : Every true lover knows that the moment of greatest satisfaction comes when ecstasy is long over and he beholds before him the flower that has blossomed beneath his touch

Don Juan : Every woman is a mystery to be solved.

Don Juan : I give women pleasure, if they desire, it is of course the greatest pleasure they will ever experience.

Donna Ana : How many have you had?
Don Juan : [narrating] Now... would have been a good time to lie.

Don Juan : There are those that do not believe that a single soul born in heaven can split into twin spirits and shoot like falling stars to earth where over oceans and continents their magnetic forces will finally unite them back into one. How else do you explain love at first sight. We were convinced that there was no other life beneath the sky but ours. We believed that we would never die.

Movie Title: Nick of Time (1995) as Gene Watson:

Gene Watson : Kisses to you.
Lynn Watson : No, kisses to you!

Movie Title: Pirates of the Caribbean:
The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) as Capt. Jack Sparrow / Jack Sparrow:

Elizabeth : That's it, then? That's the secret, grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow. You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum.
Jack Sparrow : Welcome to the Caribbean, luv.

Will Turner : You cheated.
Jack Sparrow : [shrugs] Pirate.

Jack Sparrow : The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

Mr. Gibbs : Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.
Will Turner : He roped a couple of sea turtles.
Mr. Gibbs : Aye. Sea turtles.
Will Turner : What did he use for rope?
Jack Sparrow : [from beside them] Human hair. [pause]
Jack Sparrow : From my back.

Jack Sparrow : Move away.
Will Turner : No.
Jack Sparrow : Please move?
Will Turner : No. I cannot just step aside and let you escape.
Jack Sparrow : This shot was not meant for you.

Jack Sparrow : [to Weatherby Swann] I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
Jack Sparrow : I want you to know that I was rooting for you. [to Commodore Norrington]
Jack Sparrow : Elizabeth... it would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry... Will... nice hat. Gentlemen, m'lady... This is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you... [backs up and trips over ledge]

Jack Sparrow : What's your name?
Will Turner : Will Turner.
Jack Sparrow : That would be short for William, I imagine. Good strong name, no doubt named for your father, eh?
Will Turner : Yes.
Jack Sparrow : Well Mr. Turner, I've changed me mind. If you spring me from this cell, I swear on pain of death, I shall take you to the Black Pearl and your bonnie lass. Do we have an accord? [puts out his hand]
Will Turner : Agreed. [they shake hands]

Jack Sparrow : [after Will draws his sword] Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again.
Will Turner : You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow : That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Will Turner : Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow : She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

Jack Sparrow : A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around.

Jack Sparrow : If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

[talking to the pirates while he's in jail]
Jack Sparrow : Worry about your own fortunes gentlemen. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers. [pirate grabs Jack's throat to reveal a skeleton arm]
Jack Sparrow : So, there is a curse? That's interesting.
Koehler : You know nothing of hell.
Jack Sparrow : That's VERY interesting

Barbossa : How the blazes did you get off that island?
Jack Sparrow : When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow : [looking at all the swords] Who makes all these?
Will Turner : I do. And I practice with them three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow : You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?
Will Turner : I practice three hours a day, so when I meet a pirate, I can kill it.

Elizabeth : You're despicable.
Jack Sparrow : Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine. We're square.

[Jack throws a bucket of water on sleeping Gibbs]
Mr. Gibbs : Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot! Jack! Mother's love! You should know it's bad luck to wake a man when he's sleeping.
Jack Sparrow : Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from a man who did the waking.
Mr. Gibbs : Aye, that'll about do it. [Will throws more water on Mr. Gibbs]
Mr. Gibbs : Blast I'm already awake.
Will Turner : That was for the smell.

Norrington : No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north, [looks at Jack's sword]
Norrington : and I half expected it to be made of wood. You are without a doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Jack Sparrow : But you have heard of me.

[after inspecting the crew]
Jack Sparrow : Satisfied?
Will Turner : Well you proved they're mad.

[to Elizabeth]
Jack Sparrow : Where's the medallion?
Elizabeth : Wretch. [attempts to slap him]
Jack Sparrow : [grabs her wrist] Ah, where is dear William?
Elizabeth : Will!
Will Turner : Elizabeth!
Jack Sparrow : Monkey!

Jack Sparrow : You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Will Turner : I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.

Barbossa : Why thank ye, Jack.
Jack Sparrow : You're welcome.
Barbossa : Oh, not you. We named the monkey Jack.

Jack Sparrow : Do us a favor... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try not to do anything... stupid.

Barbossa : So you expect to leave me standing on some beach with nothing but a name and your word it's the one I need and watch you sail away on my ship?
Jack Sparrow : No. I expect to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name at all, watching me sail away on my ship and then I'll shout the name back to you. Savvy?
Barbossa : But that still leaves us with the problem of me standing on some beach with naught but a name and your word it's the one I need.
Jack Sparrow : Of the two of us I am the only one who hasn't committed mutiny, therefore my word is the one we'll be trusting. Although, I suppose I should be thanking you because in fact, if you hadn't betrayed me and left me to die, I would have an equal share in that curse same as you. [bites into an apple]
Jack Sparrow : Funny ol' world, innit? [offers him an apple]

Jack Sparrow : Stop blowing holes in my ship!

Will Turner : We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
Jack Sparrow : Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.

Jack Sparrow : Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

Will Turner : That's not true. I am not obsessed with treasure.
Jack Sparrow : Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.

Jack Sparrow : You, sailor.
Mr. Gibbs : Cotton, sir.
Jack Sparrow : Mr. Cotton. Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death? [Pause]
Jack Sparrow : Mr. Cotton. Answer, man.
Mr. Gibbs : He's a mute, sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him. No one's yet figured how.
Jack Sparrow : Mr. Cotton's... parrot. Same question. Parrot: [squawk] Wind in the sails. Wind in the sails.
Mr. Gibbs : Mostly, we figure, that means 'yes.'

Jack Sparrow : Take what you can...
Mr. Gibbs : Give nothing back.

[Last line]
Jack Sparrow : Now... bring me that horizon. [humming]
Jack Sparrow : "And really bad eggs." Drink up me 'earties. Yo ho. [Snaps compass shut]

Jack Sparrow : [to Will Turner] Now as long as you're just hanging there, pay attention.

Harbormaster : Hold up there, you. It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the dock... and I shall need to know your name.
Jack Sparrow : What do you say to three shillings and we forget the name.
Harbormaster : Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith.

Will Turner : This is either madness... or brilliance.
Jack Sparrow : It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

Norrington : Mr. Sparrow, you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide us with the bearing to Isla de Muerta. You will then spend the remainder of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase "silent as the grave". Do I make myself clear?
Jack Sparrow : Inescapably.

Jack Sparrow : Scarlet. [She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow : I'm not sure I deserved that. [A blond woman approaches]
Jack Sparrow : Giselle.
Giselle : Who was she?
Jack Sparrow : What? [She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow : I may have deserved that.

Jack Sparrow : One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going: This girl... how far are you willing to go to save her?
Will Turner : I'd die for her.
Jack Sparrow : Oh good. No worries then.

Jack Sparrow : [Imitating Elizabeth] "It must have been terrible for you, Jack. Must have been terrible." Well, it bloody is now. [Seeing Norrington's ship off shore]
Jack Sparrow : There'll be no living with her after this.

Will Turner : She goes free.
Barbossa : What's in your head, boy?
Will Turner : She goes free.
Barbossa : You've only got one shot and we can't die.
Jack Sparrow : Don't do anything stupid.
Will Turner : You can't. [points gun at his own throat]
Will Turner : I can.
Jack Sparrow : Like that.

[At gunpoint, Jack Sparrow forces Elizabeth Swann to reattach his sword and compass to his belt. She pulls the belt tight]
Jack Sparrow : Easy on the goods, darling.

Barbossa : I want 50% of ye plunder.
Jack Sparrow : 15.
Barbossa : 40.
Jack Sparrow : 25.
Barbossa : [Considering]
Jack Sparrow : And I'll buy you a hat. A really BIG one... Commodore.

Barbossa : [talking to Will Turner] Who are you?
Jack Sparrow : No one. He's no one. Distant cousin of my Aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch.

Mullroy : Hey, you. Get away from there. You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate.
Jack Sparrow : I'm sorry. It's just... it's such a pretty boat... ship.

Jack Sparrow : Parleley, parlelellyleloooo, par le nee, par...snip, parsley, parno, parley. Parley, that's the one. Parley. Parley!
Pintel : Down to the depths whatever muttonhead thought of "Parley".
Jack Sparrow : That would be the French.

Jack Sparrow : Apparently, there's a leak...

Murtogg : This dock is off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow : I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately. [Jack makes to continue but is blocked by Murtogg and Mullroy]
Jack Sparrow : Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation?
Murtogg : Someone's got to make sure that this dock stays off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow : It's a fine goal, to be sure. But it seems to me... that a ship like that one, makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really.
Murtogg : Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed.
Jack Sparrow : I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable: The Black Pearl.
Mullroy : Well, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
Murtogg : The Black Pearl is a real ship.
Mullroy : No, it's not.
Murtogg : Yes it is, I've seen it.
Mullroy : You've seen it?
Murtogg : Yes.
Mullroy : You haven't seen it.
Murtogg : Yes, I have.
Mullroy : You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Murtogg : No.
Mullroy : No.
Murtogg : But I have seen a ship with black sails. [Jack quietly slips passed them unnoticed]
Mullroy : Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me?
Murtogg : No.
Mullroy : Like I said, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.

Jack Sparrow : Wherever we want to go, we go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and hull and a deck and sails. That's what a ship needs. But what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is freedom.

[Barbossa leans in to slit Will's throat]
Jack Sparrow : You don't want to be doing that, mate.
Barbossa : No, I really think I do.
Jack Sparrow : Your funeral.

Jack Sparrow : Elizabeth... It would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry. Will... Nice hat.

Jack Sparrow : No. Not good. Stop. Not good. What are you doing? You've burned all the food, the shade, the RUM.
Elizabeth : Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow : Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth : One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me; do you really think that there is EVEN the slightest chance that they won't see it?
Jack Sparrow : But why is the rum gone?

Governor Swann : Hang him.
Norrington : Keep your guns on him, men. Gillette, fetch some irons. [Pulls up Jack's sleeve]
Norrington : Well, well, well Jack Sparrow, isn't it?
Jack Sparrow : Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please sir.
Norrington : I don't see your ship, Captain.
Jack Sparrow : I'm in the market, as it were.

[The other pirates come upon Jack Sparrow in the cave]
Pintel : You? You're supposed to be dead.
Jack Sparrow : [Looks himself up and down] Am I not?

Jack Sparrow : Anamaria. [Anamaria slaps Jack]
Will Turner : I suppose, you didn't deserve that one either?
Jack Sparrow : No, that one I deserved.
Anamaria : You stole my boat! [Anamaria slaps Jack again]
Jack Sparrow : Borrowed... borrowed, but with every intention of bringing it back.
Anamaria : But you didn't!
Will Turner : You'll get another one.
Anamaria : I will.
Will Turner : A better one.
Jack Sparrow : A better one.
Will Turner : That one.
Jack Sparrow : What one? [Will looks at the Interceptor]
Will Turner : That one? Aye, that one. What say you to that? The Crew: Aye!
Mr. Gibbs : No, it's frightful bad luck to have a woman aboard.
Jack Sparrow : It would be far worse not to have her.

[after breaking Jack out of jail]
Will Turner : Hurry, someone would have heard that.
Jack Sparrow : Not without my effects.

Will Turner : I can get you out of here
Jack Sparrow : How's that... the key's run off.

Jack Sparrow : That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my ship.
Elizabeth : But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then.
Jack Sparrow : To what point and purpose, young missy? The Black Pearl is gone and unless you have a rudder and a lot of sails hidden in that bodice - unlikely - young Mr. Turner will be dead long before you can reach him.
Elizabeth : But you're Captain Jack Sparrow. You vanished from under the eyes of seven agents of the East India Company. You sacked Nassau Port without even firing a shot. Are you the pirate I've read about or not? How did you escape last time?

Mullroy : What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith ?
Murtogg : Yeah, and no lies.
Jack Sparrow : Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.
Murtogg : I said no lies.
Mullroy : I think he's telling the truth.
Murtogg : If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.
Jack Sparrow : Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Barbossa : So what now, Jack Sparrow? Will it be it two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound?
Jack Sparrow : Or you could surrender.

[Protesting Jack's arrest]
Elizabeth : Pirate or not this man saved my life.
Norrington : One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.
Jack Sparrow : Though it seems enough to condemn him.

Jack Sparrow : You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates you are well on your way to becoming one: sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship of the fleet, sailed with a buccaneer crew out of Tortuga, and you're completely obsessed with treasure.

Jack Sparrow : I know those guns. It's the Pearl. Man in Jail: The Black Pearl? I've heard stories. She's been preying on ships and settlements for near ten years. Never leaves any survivors.
Jack Sparrow : No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?

Jack Sparrow : [upon seeing Elizabeth plunge into the ocean] Will you be saving her then?
Mullroy : I can't swim. [Jack looks at Murtogg... no he won't do either]
Jack Sparrow : Pride of the King's navy you are. Do not lose these.

Mullroy : Not breathing.
Jack Sparrow : Move. [Jack slits the ties on Elizabeth's corset and rips it off, causing Elizabeth to regain consciousness, and spit out a lot of water]
Mullroy : Never would have though of that.
Jack Sparrow : Clearly you've never been to Singapore.

Jack Sparrow : ...and then they made me their chief.

[The Black Pearl is gone]
Elizabeth Swann : I'm sorry, Jack.
Jack Sparrow : [wistfully proud] They done what's right by them. Can't expect more than that.

Capt. Jack Sparrow : You can keep doing that forever, the dog is never going to move.

Jack Sparrow : You think this wise boy?, crossing blades with a pirate...
Will Turner : You threatened miss swan.

Jack Sparrow : Come on you filthy, slimy, mangy cur, [dog slinks away]
Jack Sparrow : no no no no no no no I didn't mean, I didn...

Movie Title: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) as Raoul Duke:

Raoul Duke : You can turn your back on a person, but, never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye.

[Watching Dr. Gonzo leave]
Raoul Duke : There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

Raoul Duke : [Commenting on the song "One Toke Over the Line" playing on the radio] One toke, you fool!

Raoul Duke : You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.

Raoul Duke : Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a main era - -the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.

Raoul Duke : There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning.

Raoul Duke : And that, I think, was the handle - -that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting - -on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - -the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.

Raoul Duke : History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of "history" it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time - and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.

Raoul Duke : With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know.

[at a bizarre circus-themed casino]
Raoul Duke : Bazooko's Circus is what the world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.

Raoul Duke : Look, there's two women fucking a polar bear.

Raoul Duke : If the pigs were gathering in Vegas, I felt the drug culture should be represented as well. And there was a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn in one Las Vegas, and then just wheeling across town and checking into another. Me and a thousand ranking cops from all over America. Why not? Move confidently into their midst.

Raoul Duke : Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?

Raoul Duke : A drug person can learn to handle such things as seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to deal with this trip.

Raoul Duke : Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.

Raoul Duke : We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like:
Raoul Duke : I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive.
Raoul Duke : Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full with what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming:
Raoul Duke : Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?
Dr. Gonzo : Did you say something?
Raoul Duke : Hm? Never mind. It's your turn to drive.
Raoul Duke : No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.

Raoul Duke : We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

Dr. Gonzo : [singing] Let's give the boy a lift.
Raoul Duke : What? No. We can't stop here. This is bat country.

Hitchhiker : Hot damn. I never rode in a convertible before.
Raoul Duke : Is that right? Well... I guess you're about ready, then, aren't you?
Dr. Gonzo : We're your friends. We're not like the others, man, really.
Raoul Duke : No more of that talk or I'll put the fucking leeches on you, understand?
Dr. Gonzo : Heh heh heh...
Raoul Duke : [as the Hitchhiker stares at them nervously] Get in.

Raoul Duke : How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?

Raoul Duke : Perhaps, if I explained things, he'd rest easy.

Raoul Duke : I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?
Hitchhiker : Hell no.
Raoul Duke : I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is very valuable to me. Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want one?
Hitchhiker : No.
Raoul Duke : How 'bout some ether?
Hitchhiker : What?
Raoul Duke : Never mind.

Raoul Duke : Let's get down to brass tacks. How much for the ape?

Raoul Duke : You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.

Raoul Duke : Soon we would both be completely twisted. But there was no going back - We would have to ride it out.

Dr. Gonzo : Let's take the elevator, man.
Raoul Duke : No, that's just what they want us to do. Cram us into a little metal box and drag us down to the basement.
Raoul Duke : Those of us that had been up all night were in no mood for coffee and donuts, we wanted strong drink. We were, after all, the absolute cream of the national sporting press.

Raoul Duke : Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab.

Raoul Duke : I wouldn't dare go to sleep with you wandering around with a head full of acid, wanting to slice me up with that goddamn knife.
Dr. Gonzo : Who said anything about slicing you up, man. I just wanted to cut a little Z in your forehead."

Raoul Duke : Panic. It crept up my spine like first rising vibes of an acid frenzy. There I was. Alone in Las Vegas, completely twisted on drugs, no cash, no story for the magazine, and on top of everything else, a gigantic god damned hotel bill to deal with. How would Horatio Alger handle this situation?

Raoul Duke : Don't take any guff from these fucking swine.

Raoul Duke : But our trip was different. It was to be a classic affirmation of everything right and true in the national character. A gross physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country. But only for those with true grit. [to hitchhiker]
Raoul Duke : And we are chock full of that, man.

Raoul Duke : Last name? I'd rather not say. My brother's in politics.

Raoul Duke : You've gone all sideways, man.

Raoul Duke : What kind of rat bastard psychotic would play that song right now, at this moment?

Raoul Duke : [to Acosta] PLEASE. Tell me you got the fucking golf shoes.

Raoul Duke : Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor function. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column. Which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can't control it.

Raoul Duke : Our vibrations were getting nasty. But why? Was there no communication in this car? Had we deteriorated to the level of dumb beasts?

Raoul Duke : What was I doing here? What was the meaning of this trip? Was I just roaming around in a drug frenzy of some kind? Or had I really come out here to Las Vegas to work on a story? Who are these people, these faces? Where do they come from? They look like caricatures of used car dealers from Dallas, and sweet Jesus, there were a hell of a lot of them at 4:30 on a Sunday morning, still humping the American dream, that vision of the big winner somehow emerging from the last minute pre-dawn chaos of a stale Vegas casino.

Dr. Gonzo : Music. Turn it up. Put that tape on.
Raoul Duke : What tape?
Dr. Gonzo : Jefferson Airplane, "White Rabbit". I want a rising sound.
Raoul Duke : You're doomed. I'm leaving here in two hours and then they're going to come up here and beat the mortal shit out of you with big saps. Right there in that tub.
Dr. Gonzo : I dig my own graves. Green water and the White Rabbit. Put it on.
Raoul Duke : OK. But do me one last favor, will you. Can you give me two hours? That's all I ask - just two hours to sleep before tomorrow. I suspect it's going to be a very difficult day.

Raoul Duke : The possibility of physical and mental breakdown is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride.

Raoul Duke : Jesus, bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing - intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out. The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes. Flee.

Parking Attendant: You can't park your car here.
Raoul Duke : Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park? Parking Attendant: Park? You're on the middle of the sidewalk.

Raoul Duke : [after pulling his car up onto the sidewalk] Is this not a reasonable place to park?

Raoul Duke : We are all wired into a survival trip now. No more of the speed that fueled that 60's. That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip. He crashed around America selling "consciousness expansion" without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait for all the people who took him seriously... All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody... or at least some force - is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.

Raoul Duke : Dogs fucked the Pope... no fault of mine.

Raoul Duke : We're going to be killed for fuck's sake.

Raoul Duke : That bastard isn't gonna get away with this. I mean, what is going on in this country when a scumsucker like that can get away with sandbagging a doctor of journalism?

Raoul Duke : Fuck 'im... I'm gonna miss 'im.

Raoul Duke : In some circles, the Mint 400 is a far far better thing than the superbowl, the Kentucky Derby, and the lower Oakland roller derby finals all rolled into one.

Raoul Duke : You people voted for Hubert Humphrey, and you killed Jesus.

Dr. Gonzo : Did you see the look on his face? He was lying to us! I could see it in his eyes.
Raoul Duke : Eyes?

Raoul Duke : Quick, like a bunny.

Movie Title: Cry-Baby (1990) as Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker / Cry-Baby:

[Allison stops Cry-Baby from fondling her]
Allison : I want to, but I can't, for my parent's sake. They're both dead, Cry-Baby, I'm an orphan!
Cry-Baby : Oh, I'm sorry, Allison. But no wonder we're together. I'm an orphan, too.
Allison : You are?
Cry-Baby : Yes! And orphans have special needs.
Allison : Well, okay, but outside the shirt this time.

Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker : I may be a drape, but I love your granddaughter. And if that's a crime, I'll stand convicted, ma'am.

Cry-Baby : My dad was the Alphabet Bomber!
Allison : I heard about the Alphabet Bomber! Bombs going off in the Airport, Barber Shop.
Cry-Baby : That's right. All in alphabetical order too. [looks up at sky]
Cry-Baby : Car Wash, Drug Store. I used to lay in my cradle and hear him yell in his sleep [sings]
Cry-Baby : A-B-C-D-E-F-G. BOOM! BOOM!

Cry-Baby : You got it Allison. You got it RAW!

Cry-Baby : I'm burning inside to touch you, baby.

Cry-Baby : Electricity makes me INSANE!

Movie Title: The Libertine (2004) as Rochester:

Rochester : You've cut me down, I must confess; but in your mouth my balls must rest. * Quote Cited Press Releases RE: the gay content of the film

Movie Title: Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003) as Agent Sands / Sands:

Agent Sands : Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?
Cucuy : I'm a Mexi-CAN
Agent Sands : Good. Then do as I say.

Agent Sands : [Hands the bar keep a lunch box] I couldn't find a briefcase small enough for 10,000 dollars.

Agent Sands : Why? Why would I want that? Why would I want bubblegum?

[upon finding something hidden in a corpse's hollow eye socket]
Agent Sands : Well, I guess I should thank you for not sticking it up your ass.

Agent Sands : Okay, Okay. I'm going to freak right out.

El Mariachi : You want me to shoot the cook?
Agent Sands : No. I'll shoot the cook. My car's parked out back, anyway.

[after giving Belini $10,000 in cash in exchange for information]
Sands : Just for my own edification, I offered you fifty. Why'd you say no?
Belini : I'm not a greedy man. Not looking to get rich quick. Besides, fifty thousand is a lot for what you wanted me to find out. Could just as well put a bullet in my head as cough it up, see? But ten? Ten thousand is civilized. Ten is something we both can live with.
Sands : It might still be too much.
Belini : You'd kill me over ten thousand dollars? You wouldn't dare. You wouldn't dare. [leaves]
Sands : [whispers] Yes, I would.

Agent Sands : Mexico's my beat, and I'm walking it.

Agent Sands : Can you hear me now?... Fucking bells...

Cab Driver : Look out there, its a fucking coup d'état.
Agent Sands : I can't see, fuck-mook. I have no eyes.

Agent Sands : That spill just cost you your life.

Agent Sands : I want you to put the hurtin', so to speak, on Marques after he's killed the president. Savvy?

Ajedrez : See anything you like?
Agent Sands : No.

Agent Sands : I want you to have a bite of my pork.

[the Barillo Cartel has captured Sands]
Agent Sands : I feel its only fair to warn you, that killing me is crossing the line and you will have every single Marine from here to Guantanamo Bay up your keester mister, so just know that.
Barillo : Fortunately for you, nothing you did is worth dying for. You have only seen too much. We are going to make sure this does not happen again. [the Doctor picks up a drill and moves it toward Sand's eyes]

Agent Sands : [pulls out a gun] Have you ever seen one of these? Have you ever used one? Don't ever because, they're very very bad. But right now I need you to aim it at the bad guy who's following us, and shoot him in the head.
Chicle Boy : Matalo?
Agent Sands : Oh yeah. Very matalo.

Sands : Oh yeah, things may get a wee bit dangerous there sugarbutt so... can you dig it?

Sands : Why doesn't my key work anymore?
Ajedrez : It's too small.

Agent Sands : Bullfights. Bull hockey. Do you like this? The bull is stabbed, prodded, beaten. The bull is wounded. The bull is tired before the matador ever steps into the ring. Now, is that victory? Of course it is. Wanna know the secret to winning? Creative sportsmanship. In other words, one has to rig the game.

Sands : You're a good rat. I like you.

Agent Sands : El, you really must try this because it's puerco pibil. It's a slow-roasted pork, nothing fancy. It just happens to be my favorite, and I order it with a tequila and lime in every dive I go to in this country. And honestly, that is the best it's ever been anywhere. In fact, it's too good. It's so good that when I'm finished, I'll pay my check, walk straight into the kitchen and shoot the cook. Because that's what I do. I restore the balance to this country. And that is what I would like from you right now. Help keep the balance by pulling the trigger.

El Mariachi : Why me?
Sands : Frankly, because you've got nothing to live for... and in a way you're already dead and Marquez is the one that killed you so why not return the favor?

Sands : Belini, how long have you and I done business together? A long time. And in that time I could almost have the tiniest smidgen of respect for you, almost... but you really need to stop farting around.

Agent Sands : You know that withholding vital information from a federal officer is a serious offense. Especially when that officer has paid handsomely for it and wouldn't think twice about ripping that patch off your eyehole and skull-fucking you to death.

Sands : My name is Sheldon Jeffery Sands. I work for the Central Intelligence Agency. I throw shapes. I throw shapes, I set them up, I watch them fall. I'm living la vida loca.

Agent Sands : This is no time to screw the pooch, because this is supposed to be the big dance number, all right?

Sands : You're about a quart low.

[El Mariachi takes a piece of pork from Sands' plate and chews it]
Sands : Was I right? [El Mariachi spits out the piece of pork in disgust]
Sands : Hmmm. Guess not.

Agent Sands : [In Marlon Brando Voice] Failure to appear at meetings at designated times will result in forfeiture of protection... protection you will definitely need.

Agent Sands : Look me in the eyes... and then kill me.

Movie Title: Secret Window (2004) as Mort:

[Mort believes Shooter is in his bathroom and attacks with a fireplace poker]
Mort : I killed a mirror.
Mort : And my shower door.

Ted : Maybe I should take a walk around the block.
Amy : Yes, that'd be good.
Mort : Aw heck, Ted, live a little - make it two. Rubbernecker.

John Shooter : Thought you didn't smoke.
Mort : I took it up recently, for my health.

Mort : This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. Anymore.

Mort : The only thing that matters is the ending. It's the most important part of the story. And this one, is very good. This one is perfect.

Mort : What do you think it means you ignorant hick? I'm in the middle of a divorce! D-I-V-O-R-C-E divorce!

Mort : [after talking to Shooter he lays back down on the couch] Now where was I?

Ted : You and I are going to have a little talk.
Mort : Oh, I'm in trouble.

Mort : [Mort and his conscience arguing and pushing each other] Mort's Conscience: [screaming at Mort making him unable to speak]
Mort : Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!

Mort : I don't care. I'm just gonna smoke. I'm just gonna totally smoke. I'll finish these, go to the store and get a brand new pack, smoke the shit out of that one.

Mort : I don't wanna call her. I want to go to sleep. I want to take a nap. Okay. No nap. I give her a call about the magazine. I go write some crap for a couple of hours and then I get to take a nap, right? Chico [beating his neck]
Mort : Chi-i-i-i-co-o-o-o, don't be disco-o-o-oura-a-a-aged! All right, go ahead and be discouraged, you blind bastard, see if I care.

Ken Karsch : No monsters up here.
Mort : [holding a rowing oar] Did you check under my bed?
Ken Karsch : Yeah, even in your toy box.

Mort : [to Amy on the phone] It's a beautiful house. I like it. Hell, I love it. That's why I bought it.

Mort : Gee Ted I'm sorry you had to miss that. I know how much you like my things.

Mort : I know you're in there shit-head. If you don't come out on the count of five, I'm coming in there swinging. One, two... [rushes the door]

Amy : You were always gone.
Mort : I worked from home, Amy!

Juliet Stoker : You look pale.
Mort : Yeah, thank you.
Juliet Stoker : [as Mort leaves] And so cute...

Amy : But I just wanted you to be happy, Mort.
Mort : Well, I guess you shouldn't HAVE FUCKED HIM THEN! [slams phone on receiver and cracks his jaw]

Mort : [to Chico about the maid] If you don't bite her, I'll kill her.

Mort : I don't respond well to intimidation. Makes me feel *icky*.

Mrs. Garvey : You're a good man, Mr. Rainey.
Mort : You too, Mrs. Garvey.

[Ted punches his window]
Mort : Bummer, Ted.

Ken Karsch : [about Ted] Did you do anything to piss him off?
Mort : [has a flashback to him screaming at Ted] I might've.

Mort : [staring at the computer screen] This is just bad writing.

Mort : I'd be lying if I said I wasn't on the verge of doing snoopy dances.

John Shooter : Are you all right, Mr. Rainy? It sounded like you pitched a fit or something in there.
Mort : I'm just peachy, Mr. Shooter. How are you?

Mort : I'm a dairy farmer from Mississippi.

Mort : Shit, shit, shit, shit. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

Mort : I have the magazine, you lunatic! I have the MAGAZINE! I HAVE THE GODDAMN MAGAZINE!

Mort : I'll call you later.
Sheriff Dave Newsome : Okay. [Mort drives a short distance away]
Mort : I'm gonna' call you on the phone!
Sheriff Dave Newsome : [long pause] Okay.

Mort : I know you're in there shit-head. If you don't come out on the count of five, I'm coming in there swinging...

John Shooter : You stole my story.
Mort : I'm... I'm sorry, do I... I don't believe I know you.
John Shooter : I know that, that doesn't matter, I know you Mr. Rainey, that's what matters. You stole my story. [holding out his manuscript to Mort]
Mort : You're mistaken. I don't read manuscripts.
John Shooter : You read this one already. You stole it.
Mort : I can assure you...
John Shooter : I know you can. I know that. I don't want to be assured.
Mort : If you want to talk to somebody about some grievance you feel you may have, you can call my literary agent.
John Shooter : This is between you and me. [sees Chico under him]
John Shooter : We don't need no outsiders, Mr. Rainey.
Mort : I don't like being accused of plagiarism, if that is in fact what you are accusing me of. Chico inside! [Chico goes back inside]
John Shooter : I don't blame you for not liking it but you did it.
Mort : You're gonna have to leave. I have nothing more to say.
John Shooter : Yeah, I'll go. We'll talk more later. [hands the manuscript to Mort to take it]
Mort : I'm not taking that.
John Shooter : Won't do you no good to play games with me, Mr. Rainey. This has got to be settled.
Mort : As far as I'm concerned it is.

Amy : Will you call me if you need anything?
Mort : I doubt it.

[last lines]
Mort : [voiceover] "I know I can do it," Todd Downey said, helping himself to another ear of corn from the steaming bowl. "I'm sure that in time, every bit of her will be gone and her death will be a mystery... even to me."

Mort : I buried my dog, mister!

Mort's Conscience: Why'd you put it on?
Mort : I don't know. Mort's Conscience: Maybe he wanted you to.
Mort : Why would he want me to put his hat on? Mort's Conscience: Maybe he wants you to...
Mort : Maybe he wants me to what? Mort's Conscience: To get confused.
Mort : Oh, I'm already confused, Pilgrim. Plenty confused. So don't talk to me about confusion. Mort's Conscience: Wait a minute. Back up just a sec. What about that?
Mort : What about what? Mort's Conscience: Well, "pilgrim." "Shooter's bay," and the half a dozen other details you've chosen to ignore.
Mort : You know what? You're nuts. I don't need to listen to this shit from you. Mort's Conscience: Are all these things coincidences?
Mort : I'm wearing his bruises aren't I? Aren't I? Mort's Conscience: Are you?
Mort : Well... [Mort checks his arms and the bruises are gone]
Mort : This doesn't make any sense. Mort's Conscience: Would you like to hear something that does make sense? Call the police. Call Dave Newsome, tell me to come here this second and lock you up before you can do any more damage.
Mort : I'm gonna get a knife and cut you out of me. Mort's Conscience: Before you kill anyone else.
Mort : I didn't kill anybody. Mort's Conscience: You had a gun.
Mort : Wasn't loaded. Mort's Conscience: Really?
Mort : No.
Mort : You almost killed them. You wanted to.

[Mort is trying to write but nothing comes to him, he looks at Chico]
Mort : I'm open to suggestions.

[first lines]
Mort : [voiceover] Turn around. Turn around. Turn the car around and get the hell out of here. Right now. Don't go back. Do not go back there.


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